Chapter 30

“Well, helloooo there, B.D.,” Ari drawled as I strolled into the locker room.

Camden racked his weights and stared at him, clearly ready for whatever ‘tomfoolery’ Ari had planned—tomfoolery had been the “word of the day” in my dictionary app…who knew I’d have a chance to use it so soon. Olivia would be impressed.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What does B.D. mean?” I asked, starting some stretches.

“Besides the obvious?” Ari said, gesturing to the front of his shorts.

Lincoln groaned as he pushed his barbell up. “Can we please not talk about your dick this morning—especially not when you got stuck. Again. You have to do something about that.” He racked his weights, glaring at Ari who was supposed to be spotting him.

Ari rolled his eyes. “Focus. That’s not important right now.”

Camden looked intrigued. “Where exactly did you get stuck?”

“That’s private information, Hero,” Ari said haughtily.

Logan started cackling like a hyena as he started a set of jump squats. “That piercing of yours totally got stuck, didn’t it?”

Ari flushed. “I said to focus. I brainstormed for hours for this.”

“Please tell me your dick did not get stuck in…” Camden pressed.

“Big Daddy! Disney’s new nickname is Big Daddy!” Ari spit out frantically, glaring at Lincoln who was smirking unrepentantly.

Logan stared at him, appalled. “It took you hours to come up with the name ‘Big Daddy’? Also, why wouldn’t it be ‘Big Disney’? And why are we giving Disney new nicknames anyway? He already has one!”

“I prefer ‘Walker Texas Ranger’,” I told everyone seriously, but the conversation was clearly off the rails because no one was paying attention to me.

“Logan apparently wants a nickname,” Camden commented as he did a bicep curl.

“He already has a nickname, it’s ‘Rookie,’” Lincoln drawled.

Logan grimaced. “That can’t be my nickname…it would be good for one season. And I’m going to be around for longer than that.”

“Why did we move on from Disney’s new nickname so fast? That took a lot of time and energy!” Ari said, sounding appalled.

“Why did we move on from whatever your dick was stuck in so fast?” asked Camden calmly.

“Thanks, Golden Boy. ‘Why don’t you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I’m drowning,’” Ari snarked at Lincoln who had resumed lifting. “I hope that barbell falls on your head.”

“Wedding Crashers. That’s where that’s from,” Logan huffed as he did another squat jump. “Maybe be original, Lancaster.”

Ari grinned, looking a bit evil. “Maybe score a goal, York.”

We all laughed as Logan told us to fuck off with both hands.

“Why are we calling Walker “Big Daddy?” Camden asked, cocking his head.

“Sorry, Camden, you’ve moved past your ‘Big Daddy’ time of life, and moved right into “Big Grandpappy,” Logan said seriously.

Camden sighed and did that crazy eye roll of his again. “I’m literally 31, asshole. I definitely can still be a ‘Big Daddy’!”

“If I don’t see all of you asswipes dripping sweat in the next minute, you’re doing bag skates on the ice until you fucking pass out,” the strength and conditioning coach, Coach Wheeler, barked as he entered the weight room from his office. “What is this…fucking gossip hour?!”

Ari winked at me and mouthed “B.D.” as he started lifting, and I snorted.

I would stick with Disney, thank you very much.

Although Ari had one thing right…I was going to be a “Daddy.”

I bustled around the kitchen, blending fruits and vegetables into her smoothie. I’d been doing research about the best ones to use, and this one was a pregnancy “hydration” blend. I also had some Mozart playing because I’d read that babies could hear music in the womb and supposedly, classical music helped with the development of their brains.

I was pretty sure that T-Swift would do the same thing, but regardless…I was going to kill this whole daddy thing.

With a flourish, I poured the smoothie into a tall glass and carried it over to the bar area where she was seated, watching me work with a bemused expression on her face.

‘Voilà, here you go, princess,’ I quipped, my tone light and teasing.

She stiffened as soon as the words came out of my mouth, the color draining from her cheeks as she stared at the smoothie like it was poison or something.

“Olivia?” I murmured. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

A knot formed in the pit of my stomach as I watched her completely shut down.

What had I missed?

“Don’t call me that ever again,” she finally whispered, getting up from her chair and walking away without another word.

Of course, I followed her all the way into the bedroom because this wasn’t something I could just let go.

She sat on the bed and stared out the window into the backyard.

“Olivia?”

“You said that there was nothing I could say that would change your mind about me,” she said softly, her shoulders hunched over and defeat all over her.

“And I mean that,” I swore fiercely. “There’s nothing that would ever cause me to not want you…to not need you. Nothing.”

There was another beat of silence.

“How about the fact that I allowed my manager to beat and sexually assault me for years. And when he finally raped me, I didn’t tell a soul.”

Her words hung in the air, suffocating and clawing at the oxygen in the room until it felt like there wasn’t anything left.

More silence descended upon us, broken only by the out of control pounding of my heart.

This. This was what rage felt like. This was what real hate felt like, the kind that could consume your whole life until there wasn’t anything else left.

Without a word, I staggered out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, where I doubled over the sink, retching violently as the bile rose in my throat.

Each heave was accompanied by a surge of raw, primal, terrifying anger.

I was going to kill him. I was going to cut off his dick and shove it down his throat.

And then I was going to kill him.

I straightened up, staring at the crazy eyed man in the mirror that I barely recognized.

With a roar, I lashed out, my fist connecting with my reflection. Pain exploded through my hand, blood spattering out onto the glass as it broke.

I welcomed the pain, relished it actually.

Even though nothing could take away what I was feeling knowing what had happened to her.

I leaned over the sink, forcing down the vomit that was threatening again. Finally, I realized what a dumb ass I was, and that I’d practically run into the bathroom right after she’d admitted something like that to me.

Fuck.

I dashed out to the bedroom, relief flooding me when I saw she was still there.

Walking around the bed to go to her, I felt like I might die when I saw the silent tears dripping down her gorgeous face. Tears blurred my own vision as I slumped to the floor in front of her, my chest heaving with the effort of trying to contain the emotions raging inside me.

‘Angel…’ My voice was hoarse, choked with tears and unspoken anguish. ‘I swear to you, I’m going to make him pay for what he’s done. I’ll tear him apart piece by piece until there’s nothing left but dust and ashes.’

She stared at me, her gaze…confused. “What?”

“I’ve been working on a plan to destroy them both. I will get them, I promise.”

Olivia sighed. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she said in a dead voice that made me flinch.

I stood up, cautious in my movements in case this conversation had brought up triggers from the past. When she didn’t flinch or move away, I stepped closer to her.

“It’s a promise I’m going to keep,” I growled, my hand closing gently around her chin so she couldn’t turn away.

The blankness in her gaze broke, and her gorgeous gold eyes filled with even more tears. “How can you touch me, knowing what—what he did?” A harsh sob ripped out of her.

“What?” I asked, in total disbelief. “How would anything that fuckwad did change how I feel about you?”

“Because you can fully see now how—how weak I am! I let them dictate every inch of my career. I let them get me hooked on painkillers. I let him abuse me. I let him rape me. I let them take over my fucking life.” She sobbed again, her eyes squeezing shut. “I let them ruin me.” Those last words came out in a whisper.

Another tear slid down my cheek as I stared at my beautiful, broken love.

She didn’t get it at all.

“You were a child. You didn’t let them do anything,” I growled. “These assholes were supposed to protect you. Take care of you! Nurture you! And instead, they took advantage. They took and they took and they took some more. You are not responsible.”

She just looked at me, clearly not agreeing with me. But that was understandable. Years of blaming yourself didn’t disappear overnight.

My hands softly trailed down her face, wiping up the tear tracks staining her perfect cheeks. I didn’t know if she was crying because of them, or if she was crying for herself. But I hoped it was the latter.

They didn’t deserve her tears.

And I was going to make sure they wouldn’t get anything else from her ever again.

“I don’t have anything to give you that you don’t give me more of,” she whispered. “I’m weak, and maybe…I’ll always be weak.”

Another sob slipped her lips.

“Our baby deserves better,” she finally whispered.

A growl ripped from my lips but she didn’t jump or act scared, she just stared at me, silently begging me to prove her wrong.

“There’s no one better,” I told her fiercely, every cell in my body focused on getting her to believe me.

“Only a person without a mother could understand how much a child needs one. Only a person who’s been broken can fully understand how to make someone whole. Only a person who has been without love can understand why it’s so necessary. Only a person who’s had to fight for their life could understand how precious it is. Our baby is going to have the most perfect mother in the world because you know all of those things, and you’re going to give our baby everything you didn’t have.”

“How can you be so sure?” she murmured, a glimmer of what looked an awful lot like hope starting to shine from her golden gaze.

“Because I happen to be an expert on all things relating to my stunning, perfect angel face. So I know it for a fact.”

“Is that so?” she huffed.

I brushed a kiss against her lips. “Yes. So don’t question me. I know everything.”

A small smile appeared on her lips, and I swore, I’d never seen anything more gorgeous in my entire life…than the sight of Olivia Jones stepping out of the darkness that had followed her for years…and coming out into the light.