Theo- wild

Theo's wolf

I darted for the woods not caring who would see me or not, I had to get out of there. It was becoming too real, I know I love him and now I know it's not lasting. He has a girlfriend and a pretty one, why does he need me anymore. I'm not her, I'm never going to look like her, be an alpha like her, he prefect like her. My paws patted the earth ruining the soft grass as I swerved around trees trying my best to create distance from them, her. . . him. I know it can't be me, but I want it so bad, I want to hold his hand in the streets, watch movies kissing at the cheesy parts, late night talks in a bed we share . . .

I just want to be his.

When I ran out of breath I shifted not caring that I wasn't wearing any clothes. It wasn't something werewolves were bothered by. I wiped the sweat and tears off my face with my arms, I have to control myself. Be strong. Then I smelt it, the sent I've known forever, the smell that messed me up and now I'm powerless . . . no control.

"I hate her" I said knowing he was behind me, I could sense him from a mile away. His smell was so distinct to me, the smell of pancake batter, dryer sheets and green apple shampoo. It set me on edge and at the same time relaxed me.

"you don't know her" he said annoyed with my behavior, not that I blamed him, I was acting like a child.

"I know enough" I rolled my eyes and turned away only to be shoved in to a tree forcing me to look at him.

"your being dramatic-" I shoved his hands away trying to get him away from me.

"dramatic that's what I am now? Dramatic is going up to her and tell her to look for a dildo because of how much you like it in the ass" I yelled not caring at this point who heard me.

"why are you acting like this?" the blush that appeared on his face went away quick not staying long enough for me to enjoy the red on his tan cheeks. I looked back at his eye seeing the anger that boiled in side of them, all directed at me.

"IM MAD! OKAY?" couldn't contain it anymore, if he wants to know why then he's going to get it.

"You have no right to be mad you have a girlfriend, I'm allowed to have a girlfriend. Like you said we have to move on right" he yelled at me pushing me back into the tree making me groan as the cark dug at my skin.

"But She's a bi-" he got closer the anger visible on his face.

"Don't call her that" how great was this girl if he was getting mad at me for simply calling her a name.

"but she doesn't know you" my voice changed and by the look in his eyes he got the message, I slowly got closer to him reaching my hand out to touch his bare hand.

" like I do" I whispered letting my fingers run over the smooth flesh and I enjoyed the sound of his breathing hitching as I ran my hands up to his shoulders.

" all you weak spots" I started to pepper kisses up his Adams apple and back down to his exposed collar bones. He looked down at me before gripping my waist and claiming my lips, every time we kissed it felt like the first time. Hot, heated, like walking on hot coals and loving every second of it.

i groaned as i was shoved back into the tree, the pain added another level to it and i was letting it  wash all over me. who needed to breath when you have this boys tongue  down your throat? For a moment i was in complete bliss till Alex moved away from me taking the warmth and pleasure with him.

"this is wrong . . . you know that" my hands shook as I moved away from creating distance between us.

I began pacing again, over each agonizing detail of the events of what just went down. I was horrible person, I gave everyone dirty looks, I yelled at people, I almost punched a girl. I almost hurt Alex.

"what the was I thinking?" I started to mutter running my hands through my hair.

"I was going to ask the same thing" he said straightening his shirt.

"Alex. . . I'm an idiot" he was right all this was wrong, and I knew that, I'm may have been with a lot of girls but I never cheated on one. And now I'm dragging Alex into it with me, and he's a great guy . . . he deserves better than me.

"I know" he said not looking in my direction but still listening to me.

"I can't believe I did that today. I can't believe I'm this shallow"

"you're not shallow, not usually" I glared at him as he chuckled at his small joke, he was always the serious one, he's different. did i not know him anymore? the thought left a pit in my stomach.

"but seriously you just made a mistake. You just have to fix it", he was always good with morals, making sure people the right thing. Or me anyway.

"how do I do that?"

It felt like the conversation carried on without me but in truth I didn't have anything to say. The only reason I still stayed because one part of me didn't want to leave him. The other part wanted nothing more than to go home turn on my music and curl up under my sheets alone. My body felt twisted pulled in two directions, one wanting to be as close to Alex as possible and the other wanted to burry its self in the ground.

"this bond is doing things to us that we don't want, we need a break" i nodded because i don't think i could talk if i even waned to.

when we headed back to the house i ignored the gathering outside  and headed inside to find some clothes.  when i got back down stairs i left off, set aside from everyone, like something only to be looked at and not talked to.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you" my attention was grabbed by a figure stepping in my vision. THE GIRLFRIEND. She gave the best fake smile she could, I could tell by the clenched jaw, but at least she was trying.

"Ya nice to- you know"

"Sure. Alex said you were very close friends to be honest he couldn't stop talking about you the whole week." she seemed to be trying to be nice and welcoming, I wonder how close they are, its only been a week he wouldn't tell her everything right?

"of course, he hasn't" I slapped my hands over my mouth not believing the words that came out, it was like my non-filter didn't have a filter and just said stuff without telling me first.

She looked at me confused and slightly frustrated with the way I was acting.

I didn't like to think that I was this shallow. I really thought I could be a nice guy an accepting kind of guy. Bu for some reason I could not physically like her, her perfect red hair, tight jeans, t-shirts, it was all too much to bear. Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I just need to give it time, and maybe she really was girl and – god I hate her.

I wished she looked ugly or even smelled, I think that would make me feel better. I reeled back my thoughts as Alex approached us.

"how's it going over here?" the sweat on his brow was obvious, he was nervous, I couldn't help but wonder was it for me or her?

"it's going alright I was just telling you friend-"

"best friend" there it goes, again my stupid mouth. I played it off like it was nothing but the dark look in Alex eyes didn't go unnoticed.

"Alex" we all turned and smiled as his mother approached, she stopped and looked at me with a look I could only guess was to make sure I was okay.

"everyone's dyeing to know the story" I looked over at Alex too for some kind of explanation of what she was taking about. But b the look on his face he had no idea either.

"huh" was all that came out of his mouth as his mother and GIRLFRIEND laughed.

"she means on how we met" she smiled at him and his eyes widened, I cant imagine what my face looks like.

"of course, well-" he was scared.

"not here, we have to tell everyone" his mom said before going behind them and pushing them towards the crowd. With one look over his shoulder Alex stared at me and I knew in his eyes he was sorry.

I scowled as I walked by not wanting to be around the new official couple, it was nauseating. So, I headed up stairs and was welcomed by my small room, the clothes and trash had grown twice in size over the last week. Empty pizza boxes, ice cream tins, unfinished bars of chocolate, how much emotional eating have I've been doing?

I ignored everything as I tipped toed through the maze of trash as I kicked off my shoes and fell into bed.

I wouldn't admit that I was pouting, I couldn't. pouting was ridiculous, and low and over all depressing. But I knew that exactly how I was acting right now but I think I'm allowed to have time and pout. BUT IM NOT POUTING, NO SIR NOT AT ALL

Maybe if I hit my head on something hard enough it'll knock me out of this nightmare.