Chapter 12

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*Leo's POV*

"Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside me head."

The song kept playing in my mind, despite the silence that held strong in the car. The music had ended moments before we pulled into the parking lot of school yet we sat in the car together, both of us lost in our own thoughts. We still had over an hour before school started up, but I wasn't sure what we should do. Normally I just sat in my car and read but I didn't want him to think I was ignoring his presence.

I was, however, rather glad that I could gain some time to collect my thoughts about what happened earlier this morning. The kiss was incredible, but did it mean we were together? What about Axel? I mean, he had kissed me and said that our time together was a date. Should I tell him? How would he react?

I figured telling him would be the best bet, but I didn't want to lose a friend. I needed to find a way to word it so that he wouldn't get upset. The problem was I didn't know how to do it. How do you casually say 'Oh hey, by the way guy that kissed me the day before, I totally made out with some other guy that I have a huge crush on but don't be upset.'?

After catching a small movement through my peripheral vison, I turned my head to the side and say Mute smiling at me. Before I could say anything to him, he got out of the car and started off towards the front doors. I didn't follow him, however. I just sat there in my car, waiting for some rational thought to cross my mind. Something to justify what I had done earlier that day. The problem was, nothing would come to mind.

Abandoning my thoughts and getting out of my car, I heard someone yell me name to the right of me. Turning my head to the direction that the voice came from, I saw Axel walking in my direction, smiling. Waiting by my car door till he made it over to where I was standing, he greeted me with a hug then a small kiss on the cheek. After making a quick look around making sure Mute hadn't seen it, I figured this was the best time to tell him what had happened.

"So, I kissed Shylo this morning."

"Shylo?" He asked, confusion dancing around his eyes.

"Mute."

A small laugh escaped mouth. After staring at me for a brief moment, he must have figured out I was serious. I waited there in silence for a few moments, expecting him to blow up and freak out on me. Instead what I got was the complete opposite.

"That's pretty bad ass, how was it?"

I had to admit, I was rather floored by his question. I was expecting him to yell, get angry, punch me, something. Not this, though. If anything, he seemed honest in his curiosity, like he truly wanted to know how the kiss went, as well as how it happened in the first place.

"Well, I don't really know to be honest. It just kind of happened. He was in my pantry when I woke up. I went downstairs after hearing a noise, saw him there, then it just kind of happened. How come you're not mad at me about this? I mean you said that our time together was a date and you kissed me. I kind of thought you were going to be mad."

An even bigger laugh left his lips before he smiled at me.

"Dude, why would I be upset? It's not like we were in a relationship. I mean, yeah, I kissed you, but that doesn't mean we're boyfriends. Besides, you're a very attractive guy. I wouldn't doubt that pretty much all of the gay or bi men in this school would make out with you. Though, I have to admit I didn't think Mute was gay. Are you two dating now?"

"Uh...I don't really know to be honest. I like being around him and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. I don't think we are, though. I wouldn't even know how to ask him if we are."

The smile never left his face. He seemed genuinely happy for me and my latest experience, but I just couldn't wrap my head around why. I mean, I had kissed another guy. Every book I have ever read said that was a big no, yet he seemed perfectly okay with it. Maybe I just need to expand my library is all.

We exchanged a few more pleasantries before deciding we should head in and meet up with his friends. I was rather surprised to see Kyle there, especially after what he had told me before my date with Axel. I thought maybe he would create some kind of space between the two of them, but there he was, smiling and waving at the both of us as we approached from the front doors.

Getting up and exchanging hugs with everyone, most I couldn't remember, I grabbed a seat at the table they had claimed as their own and listened quietly to the conversations around me. A small chuckle escaped my lips when I heard Lisa dreaded her math two days from now, despite having studied every days since she found out.

"I could help you with it if you'd like." I offered in an attempt to make more friends.

"Oh my god, that would be the most amazing thing ever. I'm horrible at math."

After agreeing that tomorrow during lunch I would help her study, I could feel the conversation slowing changing, becoming about me. I was terrified that Axel would tell them about what happened with Mute, but to my pleasant surprise he kept quiet about the whole thing.

"Leo's a great teacher, you'll have it down in no time." Axel stated, smiling at both Lisa and I.

"How would you know this exactly?" Kyle chimed in, jealousy heavy in his voice.

"Because, he was teaching me piano the other day on our date."

The whole table went nuts at his sentence. Questions were flying from their mouths faster than either of us could answer them. After reassuring them that we weren't actually dating and that it was more of just friends getting to know one another, they finally calmed down. We still had plenty of time before the bell rang or even before the other students even started to arrive, yet most of us went our separate ways, each giving a different reason as to why. Before long it came down to just Axel and I, both of us sitting there in silence at the table. Occasionally I would catch him looking over and smiling at me, and we would see the same thing each time it happened.

Getting up from his chair he told me to follow him, smiling and extending his hand. Grabbing hold of it and standing up, he didn't let it go. Instead, he started to pull me down a hallway towards another set of doors. Standing outside of them was what looked to be the janitor. A small blue name tag on his shirt read John, while the rest of his outfit was in a pale green color.

Walking up to him and pulling out his wallet, Axel handed him a five dollar bill and smiled. Turing away from us he pulled out a key ring and proceeded to open the doors behind him, held them open and told us to hurry inside.

I felt like I had just been a part of some weird drug deal. Obviously what we were doing had to be against the rules, otherwise he wouldn't have paid him off like that. Letting go of my hand and walking inside the room, I followed him inside to see what looked like a music room, at least, where they kept the equipment anyway. It was a pretty small area, but still enough room to keep everything neatly.

After hearing the door lock behind us, Axel grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me to the small keyboard they had set up towards the back corner of the room. He took the seat and asked me to listen to what he was going to play. Leaning up against the wall and closing my eyes, I told him to go ahead and start.

He had actually improved quite a bit from our last lesson. Though he hit a few sharps here and there, he was getting pretty good in a very short amount of time, something I had to admit, I was pretty jealous of. It had taken years for me to get where I am on the piano, and he was picking it up faster than I had ever heard.

Getting up from his seat and walking over to where I stood, I started to tell him how much he had improved, but was cut short when his lips pressed against mine. Though taken back at first, I felt myself relaxing at his touch. It wasn't a romantic kiss, either. Though I clearly wasn't an expert at defining one kiss from another, I could tell he wanted more.

Sliding his tongue in and massaging mine, I felt his hands sliding across my chest, moving underneath my shirt before removing it completely. I new found lust made its way through me. I had never experienced anything like this before, and I needed more. As if reading my mind, his right hand made its way down my chest and grabbed hold of what was now getting harder.

A gasp escaped my lips into his mouth as he grabbed hold through the outside of my jeans, sliding his hand up and down. I wanted more. I needed more. The pleasure that shot through my body was the most incredible thing I had ever felt. Sure I had done this myself, but even without him actually touching it, the feeling that took over was a millions times better.

Pulling away from me and smiling, he asked if he could see it. I knew what he was talking about without actually saying it. A sudden wave of nausea hit me like before and that nervous feeling from when he had first kissed me came back with a vengeance. What the hell was I doing with him? How could I be so stupid?

Moving away from him, I told him how I was feeling. I could see the disappointment in his eyes, but he said he understood. A part of me wanted to do it so bad, but another part of me screamed no. The issue was, I had no idea which one to listen too. I needed to get away from him, otherwise I may not be able to hold to reason.

"I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to put you in a position where you're not comfortable. I don't really know why I even did that."

I could hear the sorrow in his voice. He agreed not to tell anyone about this, something I was very grateful for, but I still needed to get away. I told him I was going home, that I'd tell my mother I wasn't feeling well so it wouldn't be an issue.

After saying my goodbyes and walking to the door, he unlocked it from the inside with a key he had pulled out of his pocket. I felt his hand slap my ass as I walked out. Ignoring what would have normally made me smile, I made my way through the hallways and out the front door, only to be greeted by the last person I wanted to see.

Mute stood there, smiling at me and waving. I couldn't be around him right now, not after what had just happened. After telling him I wasn't feeling well, I started to walk passed him but stopped short when his hand grabbed my shoulder. Leading me to the passenger side of my car, gestured at me to get in. Though skeptical at first, I pulled out my keys and handed them to him.

After opening my door and getting in, I watched him walk around the front end then get in the drivers side door, not saying a word as he started the engine and began to drive me home. The silence was hell. I could feel the guilt welling up inside me and actually brushed away a few tears by the time we had made it to my driveway.

I couldn't take it anymore. I felt so horrible about what had happened. Though I didn't know if either of us were dating, I still felt like I had cheated on him. I had to say something. As he turned off the car and went to open the door, I felt the words escape from my lips, whether I wanted them too, or not.

"I kissed Axel."

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