Chapter 20

"Leo, I truly am sorry for making you cry Friday morning. I let my emotions get the better of me and for that I apologize. I was caught off guard when the person that I met in the bar the night before ended up being a student in my English class. I hope that we can move passed this and still maintain a good relationship with one another."

"PS, while you are a wonderful kisser, I think you might want to google how to make an actual mixed drink. I finished the one you left at my house and my god, I thought I was going to get alcohol poisoning on the spot."

I could help but continue you laugh. I definitely appreciated the compliment on my lip service, but something about him already being drunk, writing this letter, and still somehow remembering the outrageously strong drink I had fixed us the night before. Pulling out my phone to send Kavaar a message about how funny the last part of the letter was, I also thanked him for the compliment only to receive a laughing emoji and a second response shortly afterwards asking what I was up too.

Sending another response letting him know I wasn't doing anything at the moment, he quickly sent a follow up one asking if he could come over. The question caught me very much off guard, and I could feel myself getting irritated. The mixed signals he was giving me were starting to get on my nerves and I most definitely wanted to confront him on them. I knew he couldn't be drinking since we had literally just gotten home maybe ten minutes ago, so this was something he clearly thought out.

Telling him it was okay, and that the door was unlocked I walked into the kitchen to get him a bottle of water for when he arrived, closing the blinds along the way, just to be on the safe side. Though it was doubtful that anyone driving by would recognize him from by looking through the window, I still didn't want to take any chances. Grabbing the bottle, I started to head back to the front of the house after hearing the door close, only to see Kavaar continue walking in my direction.

I started to voice my concerns about us hanging out, how his mixed signals were confusing me, and starting to get on my nerves, but I never got a chance to say any of them. Walking closer and closer, he pushed his lips against mine, cutting off any chance I had at speaking, while placing his hand underneath my chin, pulling my lips tighter against his as he pushed his tongue inward, dancing around and gently massaging mine.

I could feel myself melt. Taking his hand from my chin and wrapping both of them around my body, he pulled me as close to him as our bodies could get, allowing me to feel the warmth in his embrace. He still smelt like fresh snow but tasted like cinnamon.

I could feel my body moving backwards as he pushed further into me, causing my back to soon press tight against the nearest wall and his tongue continued to dance across mine. Then all at once stopped, but continued to hold me in a tight embrace. My mind didn't have time to question anything, the only thing it could focus on was his scent, his taste, his body against mine.

"Ring Ring"

I heard it from across the room, my phone going off, probably my mother calling to check on me, making sure everything was okay. I didn't want to move, I wanted to stay in this position as long as humanly possible.

"Ring Ring"

It felt like it was getting louder. Hearing a sigh and feeling his breath against my head, he kissed my forehead and smiled down at me.

"You should probably get that." He stated softly, loosening his arms from around me.

"RING RING"

Letting out an irritated sigh, I pulled myself from his body and walked over to where my phone was, only for the ringing to stop completely, followed by tappings on the door, though soft at first, the quickly gained in intensity, and speed before a final loud pound caused me to jump.

Flying up from the sofa and looking around at my surroundings, I quickly became confused as to how I got her, and where Kavaar had gone. Sweat covered the entire front and back portion of my shirt as I could still feel it dripping downward from my neck and head.

"It was a dream." I muttered to myself.

I was out of breath, angry, confused, and a little bit sad, which made the anger rise even higher. Why was I sad over a guy like this? I hardly knew him! I've known him for maybe three days at best, and yet I already had a dream about him?

The dream however, I didn't want to end. For some reason in my head I kept playing it over and over, on an endless cycle, repeating within seconds of it ending.

"Tap tap tap"

There it was again! Looking over at the door, I was ready to punch the person that woke me. It had to have been them knocking, them calling, them interrupting quite possibly the best dream I ever had!

Walking over to the door, I flung it open, ready to lay into the person that took me from my blissful journey through the REM cycle. The problem is, I've already punched this person once.

I just stood there, staring, mouth open in not only disbelief, but in anger, as I was ready to tear into the very person who was in the dream he ripped me from.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed taking a step back. "Guessing I woke you up huh? I tried to call a few times, got a little worried when you didn't answer so figured I'd swing by to make sure you were okay."

He stood their patiently, waiting on my response but I had no idea what to say. Why was he really here? I was getting tired of these mixed signals he kept throwing out, and now he was here to check on me?

"WHY ARE YO-" I started a little more angry than I meant. I could see the shock on his face as I broke off mid sentence, apologized, then continued.

"Why are you here, Kavaar? Why do you keep showing up after telling me we need to keep our distance? Why do you keep-"

"Maybe its best if we talk inside." He stated cutting me off somewhat calmly, but sternly at the same time.

I stayed quiet for a moment. Unsure of what to do. I mean, I did want answers to the questions I got out, but after what just happened when I fell asleep, I wasn't sure it was a good idea.

"Look, Leo, I just want to talk. If you don't, I understand, but there's just a few things I want to get off my chest.

Keeping silent but moving out of the way, I let him inside of the house and close the door behind us, but wouldn't move from that spot. This was the only way for him to get out at the moment, so I was going to make sure he couldn't leave until I got my answers.

He looked the same as in my dream. Calm, but determined. I could tell he wanted something, but was searching for a way to get the words out.

"Please just say what you're here for, Mr. Porter.

I could see him recoil from the use of his last name. It came out as more of an attack than I meant it too, but I had to keep stern, otherwise I knew I would get lost and confused once more.

"You don't have to call me that right now, Leo. Friends call each other by their first name."

He sounded hurt for the smallest of moments, but quickly changed his tone towards the end of the sentence. Friends? Is that what we were?

"Are we friends, though?" I asked a little more defensive than I should have. "Honestly I couldn't tell. You tell me to keep my distance, then you show up EVERYWHERE! By my car, at the park, and now at my house! I'm getting confused, and honestly pretty pissed off as well!"

He just stood there, taking in everything I was saying. He knew I was right. He knew showing up that night with a flower and a letter would confuse me, he knew laughing and spending time with me after we found each other at the park would give me mixed signals. He knew showing up here after calling on repeat because I didn't answer my phone wouldn't make any sense either.

"I came here to bring you your English book for your homework." He responded sheepishly, pulling it from the bag he kept around his shoulder. "I noticed you didn't grab one from class yesterday morning and that you'd need it for the assignment."

A wave of guilt overtook me as I realized I blew up at him when he was only looking out for me, but I was still angry. Angry that he didn't answer any of my other questions. Why he left me a note at the bottom of his apology letter, commenting on my kissing. Why he kept showing up despite his own words.

"Is that all you're here for?" I stated blandly.

Lowering his head he walked over to the table and set the book and paperwork down on the table in the living room, gave a defeated "Yes", then turned towards me so he could leave. Moving from the door I felt my heart sink. I wanted answers, I wanted to know why this kept happening, but appeared as though I wasn't going to get them.

"Okay, bye."

Moving from the door so that he could pass, I watched as he lingered by the door handle before turning around and staring at me.

"You know what, Leo? This is hard for me too! I like you, and I shouldn't. I don't even know you, you're not even eighteen, and I'm thirty-two! I'm not supposed to like someone your age! I'm trying my damndest to hold to my words of distance but I can't seem to stay away from you!"

I could see the frustration on his face, he was struggling, possibly just as much as I was. It still wasn't fair, however, of him to keep doing this to me.

"The real reason I kept calling, the reason I came over was to ask the most selfish question I have ever asked in my life."

He sounded hurt, unsure of himself. I had never heard him sound like this, almost as if he wanted to cry, which made no sense to me. He kept reaching into his bag, searching for something, until it finally found his hand and he pulled out another single red rose, this time fully intact due to not having been kicked on the ground, but still somewhat flattened from the weight of the items in his bag.

"I came here to ask if you..." he started before pausing his sentence, seemingly looking for the courage to finish it.

I came here to ask if you would be my biggest secret."

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