Chapter 21

I couldn't believe it. I just stood there, mouth hanging open in disbelief, as the man before me took a few steps forward away from the door. Placing the rose in my hand but making sure to not let go of mine, he knelt down to one knee, looking up at me earnestly. I could see how nervous he was, despite him trying to put on a confident face. He really did want to be with me.

I never once considered how he was feeling throughout the last few days. I should have known he was still interested, the way he kept showing up, when he got drunk and tried to put a flower in my car, the way he kept showing up everywhere I was, despite him telling me we needed to keep our distance. I didn't like seeing him like this, like he was forcing himself to act confident, but I could see right through it. I figured this was just a simple infatuation with him, but I couldn't have been more wrong. He liked me, and at this point he had to know the feeling was mutual.

"I know it isn't a fair question to ask you." He stated, voice a little shaky despite his best efforts to keep it the usual calming tidal wave that would normally instill a feeling of relaxation throughout my body. "Especially after everything that I have said previously. I could lose everything for this, my license, job, career, all of it, but I want to take a chance. I want to take a chance with you, Leo."

I didn't know what to say, what to do. Every time I tried to form a sentence small gasps of air would come out instead of words. Kavaar never moved, never pulled his hands from mine, just waited, smiling up at me while I took what seemed like forever to give an answer. What do I even say? I mean, I liked him, I really did, but if we got caught, he really could lose everything. That's a lot more pressure than I originally thought.

"Two weeks." I finally manager to sputter out.

Raising his usual eyebrow but never breaking the smile on his face, I could see his confusion, but he waited until I could finally speak once again, making sure to not interrupt me.

"I turn eighteen in two weeks."

I could feel myself forcing words out. I didn't know what to say, I didn't even know what to think. Standing up now but keeping his hands in mine, he smiled at, saying he already knew how old I was, but if I wanted to wait for two weeks he will. That wasn't my intention, I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to wait. I wanted to tell him right now that the answer was yes. That I wanted to give this a shot, that I wanted to make this work, I couldn't find the words.

Why the hell was I still frozen like this? It's not hard to say yes, the word doesn't have some deep underlining, it's a single syllable, simple damn word and yet I couldn't manage to get it out. I could feel his anxiety rising with each passing minute that we stood there together.

Pulling his forward and pushing my lips against his, I took in his taste once more. It was the same from the dream, a warm cinnamon that only grew in intensity as our tongues massaged one another. If I couldn't speak, couldn't find the words I wanted to use, I figured an action of equal caliber would get the point across.

I wanted to make this work. I wanted for use to try and give this relationship a chance. I wasn't naive enough to believe the whole "love ay first sight thing, but I knew I liked him. I knew that I would regret not giving this, not giving him a chance.

We stayed like this, our lips intertwined as our tongues danced across one another for was I'm was certain was an eternity. Finally finding my peace, I pulled away and began to word what I couldn't manage before.

"I want to try, Kavaar. I want to try and make this work between us."

Smiling and pushing his lips to mine once again, he held me in a tight embrace before pulling away and letting out a deep sigh.

"You do know that this isn't going to be easy. We have to keep this hidden, no one can find out until you're done with school." He stated in a rather serious tone. "You have to know what you're getting into before you completely agree with this."

"I know Kavaar, don't worry. I want to make this work, though. I only have a few months left of school anyway. Once my credits transfer over I'll only be there for maybe another four months. We can do this."

I could hear the joy in my voice as each word left my mouth, which was only intensified by the smile that came across his face. We were happy. In these walls there was nothing to hide. Here, we could be free.

Deciding we had to set some ground rules to make sure no one else could find out, we made our way over to the sofa and sat down. We started with simple things, changing each other's name in our phones, mine was to become "L", while his was going to be "K".

We broke down almost everything, how far out we should meet for dinner or lunch dates if we were going to go out, movie dates, the works. We had to have been working on this for hours, as the sun was already high in the sky, illuminating the room to its full glory.

I made him aware the only other people that knew were my mother and little sister, and had to stifle a laugh as I recounted the the conversation I had this morning, watching his normally calm face transition to fear, then comfort within a few moments.

"So she's actually okay with us?" He asked, a little incredulously.

"Yeah, she genuinely is. That reminds me, I'll have to call and give her an update here in a bit. I also still need to drive around, figure out my surroundings a bit better."

"Well, under normal circumstances I would offer to join you, but..." he stated, drawing out the last word and giving a small chuckle at the end. "I do have some work I need to get done anyway. Maybe we could meet at the bar again?"

Confused and taken aback I narrowed my eyes at him, waiting for the laugh or the just joking trope, but it never came. I asked if he was kidding, but said no.

"If we're gonna do this, we may as well go for broke. There is a private section of the bar that is closed off and the inside is not visible from the rest of the area. I usually use it for private birthday parties, but there isn't one booked tonight."

Smiling and agreeing to his suggestion, I let him know that I was more than okay with it, as long as he showed me how to fix a proper drink. Chucking he said he would but also presented a word of caution.

"Since it's Saturday we have a policy where we let people under twenty-one come in, but they cannot drink or stay passed midnight. We will have to be careful getting you into the room without kids from school seeing you. The place gets pretty busy, so there is a good chance a lot of other students will be there."

Nodding my head and smiling, we agreed on me texting before I decided to head out, and when I arrived as well, allowing him to work our a way to get me in unseen. Standing up from the sofa and giving him one more hug, he pressed his lips to mine once before telling me he would see me soon, and to text him when I had free time.

Saying our goodbyes and walking him to the door, I watched the looking glass on the door until I saw him make it safely to his house before turning around and taking everything in. I was beyond excited, happy, and just about every other range of emotion I could think of.

I had to have stood there for at least five minutes before grabbing my keys, phone, wallet, then proceeded to pull up things around me to do. Seeing that there was a mall about twenty minutes away, I decided I could start there. I hadn't done any shopping since I was here, and I definitely wanted to get some new clothes for tonight.

The drive didn't take the full twenty minutes, but to be fair, with the way I drive, I wasn't surprised. I had an issue going the speed limit, usually passing it by quite a bit, but to this day, I have still yet to get a ticket. I'm sure I was long overdue for one, but that didn't stop me from speeding as usual.

The mall was packed, much to be expected. Saturday's are the usual shopping days, the day where everyone gets out, pretends to be social and interact with people they would otherwise not even think about. Making my way inside, I quickly found one of the map stations and proceeded to my favorite clothing store.

Walking in and browsing the works, I quickly found a few different pairs of pants that I liked, but couldn't find a shirt to go with them. Most of my pants were a light shade of blue, some semi tight, the others loose and relaxed. I liked for them to sit just over the tongue of my shoe, making sure they couldn't get torn from stepping on them.

After paying for the pants I decided to walk around for a bit, mostly to see what other clothing options there were, but also get a feel for the place. I probably should have been paying better attention, but what are the odds of me actually running into something?

WHAM!

Apparently pretty good.

"Son of a biscuit, that hurt!"

Looking down a young woman lied on her back, scrambling to get up and collect what looked like had fallen from her purse. Dropping down and helping her out, I threw out a slew of apologies, then helped her get to her feet.

"You're fine, I should have been paying attention." She standing rather blandly, examining the camera she kept around her neck, checking it for what I assumed was damages.

"I didn't even see you, I'm so sorry, I should have been looking a head of myself and not all around the place."

"Of course you didn't see me, no one ever see's the little camera girl." She replied, a little more hostile than I expected.

"The name is Emmy, short for Emmaris, long for E."

Smiling at her joke, I looked her up and down as she did the same to me. Glasses work semi thick lenses covered her dark brown eyes, with her hair puffed up in the back, giving an almost Afro type look. A slick but simple black skirt came to just above her knees, with a white button up blouse tucked inside the top.

"I'm Leo, it's nice to meet-" I started before getting cut off.

"Oh damn it, my leg got scuffed." She interjected, rummaging through her purse. "Did you happen to see my lotion fall out anywhere? I'm not trying to have ashy legs walking around the mall."

Looking around the ground, there were to many people moving, cluttering up the place and preventing a thorough search for said lotion. Telling her I couldn't see it, I offered to buy her a new bottle from anywhere she wanted as an apology.

Narrowing her eyes, she made sure to clarify this wasn't some pathetic attempt to get her number and harass her with dick pictures and the usual desperate attempts to get into her pants.

"Most definitely not, ma'am." I'm probably one of the last people you have to worry about that from.

"Oh yeah? And why is that?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

"Because honestly, I think I'm gay."

I watched as a smile and a small chuckle came out of her as she didn't seem to believe me, but agreed to take me up on my offer, but was sure to mention I wasn't getting her number, and that she was going to be watching me closely, making sure I didn't try anyway.

I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Following her around the mall towards the back of the building, she lead me into a perfume shop where the only two other people in here were clearly trying out way to many different types. The smell was almost overwhelming. Citrus, flowers, musk, just about every other scent I could think of flooded my nostrils all at once, making me almost gag in the process.

She knew exactly where she wanted to go. Walking over she pointed to a lotion and perfume bundle they kept locked up in a display case and after looking at the price, I understood why. Almost three hundred dollars for the set, which normally would have people questioning its worth, but money wasn't an issue for me.

Walking over to the woman behind the counter I let her know what I was interested in getting, to which she replied she'll have to go get the key. Walking back over to Emmy, I let her know what was going on and watched her eyes open wide in horror.

"Wait, I was joking! Oh my god, you don't have to buy this!"

"I told you I would buy whatever lotion you wanted. This one just happens to have perfume, and the way you walked directly over to it showed it was something you have considered buying before."

"Considered?" She laughed. "I couldn't even dream about affording to throw away three hundred dollars on lotion."

Chuckling at her words and reaction, I confirmed with the cashier that this was indeed what I wanted, then pulled out my card and rang the entire thing up, even going so far as to have it gift wrapped, much to her disdain.

We left the store right after the purchase and thank god for that. The smell off all those different scents were starting to give me a headache, like I had just been punched by every flower and fruit known to man kind, and I'm certain a few that hadn't been harvested yet.

Turning around to her, I apologized again for bumping into her earlier and let her know I was going to keep shopping. Smiling and thanking me on repeat as she made her walk away, snapped a picture of me before I could protest, then disappeared into the crowd.

I still needed to find a shirt for tonight. I had three different pairs of jeans, but nothing to really go with it. Browsing through a few other shops, I almost gave up hope before walking into one last store. I had to have looked through the same racks twenty different times, unable to find something that would work to my standards, until it hit me. Hanging across the room on display was the perfect shirt. Simple, black, the fabric would sit tightly against my skin showing off the muscles I worked hard to get, but that wasn't the reason it was perfect. It's what was written on it.

Fancy cursive lettering covered the front portion of the shirt. Though the letters were a little big, after trying on the large in the dressing room, I couldn't believe I had found a shirt this perfect. Placing it back on the hanger and grabbing a fresh one from the stack, I marveled at my luck, staring down and re-reading the words on repeat before finally saying them out loud.

"Your favorite secret."

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