Ruthless Knight: Chapter 37

The next few months roll by seeing Knight and me in a blissful state of happiness.

I can hardly believe it’s us. We’ve gone from being what we were to who we are now, the married couple who’ve spent the last three and a half months in a perpetual honeymoon state.

Life has also progressed in all the right ways outside of us.

People Magazine offered me an interview three days after receiving my application. I’ll be seeing them a month from now. It’s also been amazing watching Mom’s designs come to life at Sunset Cove.

Both are astounding achievements, but the greatest feeling comes from being with Knight and the moments when I realize I love him.

I’ve fallen head over heels in love with my Hades. I can’t even pinpoint the exact time it happened, like that special aha-moment you see in movies or read in books.

Love just became a part of me as if it was always there, then it grew and grew until it was flowing through my body like the blood in my veins.

I’ve been so, so happy.

Still, there are moments when I step outside that ball of bliss because I know something’s not right with Knight.

During those moments, I witness a dark discomfort creep into his eyes. I’m always prompted to ask him about it, but I feel I can’t.

I get the same feeling when I want to ask him about Giselle.

Enough time has passed for me to broach the subject, but every time the thought enters my mind, I push it away hoping Knight will tell me on his own.

Since he hasn’t, I can only assume he might not.

When he heads to his workshop, I know he’s trying to work on the sculpture. That last one of her.

My envy metastasizes into something as huge as the universe when his mother visits and I hear Knight calling the sculptures The Giselle Collection.

He’s in his workshop again now.

His mother left earlier, and he went straight inside the moment she was gone.

As it’s nearly midnight, I decide to go out and see him. Just to check if he’s okay. I find him sketching away at his desk with the dogs sitting by his feet. They perk up when they notice me. Knight looks at me too.

This is the first time I’ve actually seen him working on a sculpture, but I thought there would be more of it. All I can see is a stump of stone with nothing really done to it.

“Hi.” I smile at Knight and give him a quick kiss when I reach him. “I thought I’d come by and check on you. Hope I didn’t disturb you.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “You didn’t disturb me at all.”

“How’s it going?” I look over the work in progress again.

‘It’s not going anywhere.’ His shoulders drop, and he raises a weary arm to rest on top of his head. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to finish it.”

“Maybe you just need some rest.”

He shakes his head and drops his hands to his side. “No, it’s not that. I’ve been resting for the last five years on this one. I think it might be time to call it.”

He looks so tired and drained, but not the kind of tiredness or drained you’d feel from exhaustion. It’s more from the tiredness of grief. I know what that feels like.

“I don’t think I could finish it on time even if I tried.” He sighs. “The show is in a few months, and I’m just not feeling the inspiration to create this last piece. I hate leaving anything undone, but I think I’ve lost the vision for it. Or maybe I’m not supposed to finish it.”

I stare back at him, thinking of what to say. This is the most we’ve spoken about his sculptures, and given that we’re loosely talking about Giselle, it would be weird not to mention her in some way or another. This also feels like another opening I should take to talk to him about her, so I decide to take it.

“Maybe this last piece is difficult because it’s Giselle’s way of telling you what you’ve done is enough,” I offer with care and compassion. When Knight looks at me as if he appreciates my words, I feel like I’ve helped in some way.

“Maybe.” His gaze rivets to mine with a hint of sadness. “I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to you about her yet. I know my mother told you she died. It’s a difficult subject for me.”

“I figured it was.” I give him a smile of sympathy and understanding.

“You probably think all of this is odd too.” He motions at the collection in the other section.

“I don’t think it’s odd to honor someone you love who isn’t here anymore.” I touch his cheek and love the openness in his eyes. “I’d be the last person to think it was odd. Look at me with Sunset Cove.”

“I guess we have more in common than what I first realized. Death is never easy.”

“No. It’s not. My mother um …” My voice catches in my throat and I have to drag in a deep breath to compose my mind and clear the bad memories from my sight. “It was awful the way I lost her.”

More sadness bleeds into is expression, reaching his eyes. “I’m sorry you went through that. Your father told me what happened.”

That surprises me. “Did he?”

“Yes. He was worried about you. I assured him I’d take care of you.”

I give him a gentle smile. “You have taken care of me.”

“Not as much as I could have. I wanted to say something about your mother before but I didn’t want to stir up any painful memories. I understand when you just can’t talk about something that hurts you. It’s the same for me.”

“I thought so. That’s why I haven’t asked you about Giselle. I’ve wanted to for a while, though.”

“I know.”

‘What happened to her, Knight?’

He glances at the floor for a moment. When he looks back at me, the guard that’s normally covering his eyes is gone. “She had a rare form of Huntington’s disease that became active in her teenage years. Unfortunately, she also had lupus.”

‘My God. I didn’t know you could have those illnesses at the same time.”

‘It’s incredibly rare.” He nods, pressing his lips together. “We met in high school when I came to live in New York. When we were about sixteen, she took a turn for the worst. The years went by, and the doctors tried all sorts of different treatments to keep her going, but nothing worked. By the time we finished college, she had to live in a home. That’s when things got really bad, and we knew by then that she only had a few years left to live. I did everything I could to give her more time, but I couldn’t. It just didn’t work.’

As I listen to him, I swear I could be watching my father talk about all he did to save my mother.

“Is that how she died?’ I search his eyes when they grow sadder.

‘No. When the last treatment failed, she took her life, and I…found her. I don’t think I was supposed to, but I did.”

My stomach turns inside out, sending tremors shooting down my spine. My hands fly up to my mouth and my breath stills. I never expected him to say that. Everything he told me was already bad, but that…

I can’t imagine how he must have felt.

“Oh God, Knight. I’m so, so sorry’. My expression of sorrow doesn’t feel like it’s enough, especially when I read all the pain in his eyes.

“It’s okay. She wanted to go out on her own terms, not because of her illness. She saw what the worry of it did to her family. And me. So she decided to leave us while she still had her dignity.”

My insides have tightened with sorrow wrapping around my lungs like a vice. I don’t know what to tell him that sounds like the right thing. What could anyone say that sounds right after hearing such sad truths?

“I’m truly, truly sorry.” I reach out and take his hand. “I can’t begin to imagine what you went through. Or her. She must have gone through so much to get to that stage.”

“She did. It was a difficult time in all our lives, but now… it’s time to let go. That’s why I’m sending this collection to my mother. Not being able to finish this last piece feels like I’m still hanging on, and I don’t want to be.”

“I think you need to do what’s best for you.”

‘I think so, too, Goddess.” He brushes my cheek with his thumb and gives me a small smile.

“Thank you for telling me what happened to Giselle. I know it must have been difficult to open old wounds.”

“It was, but you needed to know. I don’t want you to think I’m still hung up on my dead girlfriend.”

“I didn’t think that.” I do my best to sound like the notion was the furthest thing from my mind, but it’s a half lie. I don’t think he’s hung up on Giselle, but I also don’t think he got over her either. I can’t blame him for that. I don’t believe the relationship they appeared to have is something you ever get over, especially with how he lost her.

“Good. Come on, let’s go to bed. It’s late.”

“Okay.” We leave with the dogs, put them to sleep, then head up to bed, but I can’t drift off.

I can’t get Giselle out of my mind.

Knight and Giselle’s story was full of sorrow, but it was also full of love.

As I watch night turn into day, I realize my problem, and it’s not that I’m jealous of Giselle as a person.

I’m jealous that she was the keeper of all the parts of Knight I can’t touch.

The parts I can’t own with the ring on my finger.

Those are the sacred parts of his heart that make him create art inspired by her.

No matter what Knight and I have become, I will probably never own those parts of him, because we are a contract waiting to expire.

The thought hits me with a wave of desolation, and I realize the crux of my problem is that I don’t want us to end.

The hard truth opens my eyes to this paradox I’ve fallen in. It’s one I never saw coming and never thought I’d have to worry about.

I don’t need to be told the Giselle and Knight would have been forever, it feels like that was a given.

But I’m just the temporary wife.

I get out of the bed and head down to the beach, where I sit for hours. As it’s Saturday, I don’t have to worry about going anywhere else for the day.

I sit there and think about what I’m doing, and what I’ll do when I reach the end of my marriage.

It’s funny how I’ve sat on this beach so many times wondering how I would survive living with Knight, yet now I’m wondering how I’m supposed to stop loving him.

It starts to drizzle, so I make my way back to the house, but damn me, just as I’m walking by the workshop, I’m drawn to go in.

Given my mood, I should keep walking and avoid the place, but as I’ve always succumbed to curiosity and all things bad for me, I go inside.

I head straight to the main statue of Giselle and stop before her. As usual, she’s looking at me with that spark in her eyes. That radiance for life Knight captured so well, I can only imagine how many hours he must have spent staring at her.

As I observe her, I wonder what it must have been like for her to go through so much pain. What did she feel when she knew she was going to die and leave the man she loved behind?

Knight loved her, but she obviously loved him back. I can see it in her eyes.

‘I see you found your way to the truth,’ a syrupy voice says from the door, shocking the hell out of me.

I nearly jump out of my skin but compose myself when I turn and find Chelle standing there.

She comes closer, holding a stack of folders to her chest. I’m surprised to see her here so early, but those folders are probably something Knight asked her to bring by.

She must have seen me come in here and decided to follow and torture me.

I’ve been thankful not to have any run-ins with her since the wedding, but from the I’m-the-head-bitch look on her face, it seems she’s back in action.

“Is there something I can help you with, Chelle?” I ask, keeping my tone level.

“Nope.” She smiles wide. “Seeing you looking at dear old Giselle is plenty enough. It looks like you figured out like the rest of us that you can’t compete with the dead girlfriend.’

Her words hit me like a left hook to my gut, and I try to mask the truth with a hard glare.

“Why would I need to compete? I’m Knight’s wife.” I really, really try to sound confident, but I know I don’t. So does she.

“Oh, please. Knight would’ve married her the proper way. She would’ve been proposed to, in some grand hall with the world watching. He would’ve put her on a pedestal for everyone to see and know that he made that girl his wife. You are just a contract, Aurora Wright.” The sourness in her voice grips me to my core, as does her use of my maiden name. “It’s only a matter of time before you see there is no competition with Giselle.”

‘That’s enough!’ Knight’s voice cuts through the air with the sharpness of a blade.

Chelle and I turn to find him walking in, his eyes blazing, looking like he would incinerate her where she stands for what she said.

“Hi, Knight.” She tries to compose herself but fails when she takes note of the rage oozing from him. ‘I was just—’

‘Stop.” The last time he looked this angry was the night of the hockey match, but I have to say right now is worse. “I can see and hear quite clearly what you’re doing here.’

“I was only telling her the truth.” Chelle squares her shoulders while she stares back at Knight as if she had every right to say what she did to me. “You can’t fault me for that.”

‘I don’t think I’m in need of your services any longer,” Knight declares, sounding like he’s her judge, jury, and executioner.

My mouth hits the floor at the same time Chelle gasps, then she glares back at him as if he’s just pulled the earth from beneath her feet and shoved her onto her ass.

‘What? What the hell do you mean, you’re no longer in need of my services?’

‘It means you’re fired. I warned you that your job was on the line, but you wouldn’t listen. You have no respect for my wife, and you definitely have none for me. This is the end. Now leave.’

I’ve never seen Chelle look so defeated. A deadly shade of white has stolen the color from her skin, and although her mouth works as if she’s going to try and argue, she doesn’t.

She must know she won’t win against a man like Knight.

She’s worked with him long enough to know that would be like signing her own death certificate.

“Okay.” The simple word leaves her lips in a hushed whisper, and she walks toward him, handing over the files.

She glances back at me, giving me an icy stare. Then she walks out.

Knight comes closer, touches my cheek, and shakes his head. “I’m sorry for what she said to you.”

‘It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Everything she said was completely unacceptable.”

“I know, but are you sure you should fire her?’

‘Yes.’ There’s a newfound determination I haven’t heard before in his voice.

“She’s been your assistant for years.” I don’t know why I’m bothering to say anything of the sort. I actually hate Chelle. I just feel bad she got fired because of me.

‘Her years of service were the only reason I’ve given her chance after chance. Obviously, if she can talk to you like that, and with that attitude, she was never going to change.” He makes a really good point. I just can’t believe those words are coming from him.

“She’s been nothing but horrible to me, but I feel bad it came to this.”

“Don’t. Firing her was a long time coming, so please don’t worry about her. I’m sure she will be fine. Okay?” He holds my gaze.

“Alright.”

“How about we go out for a late breakfast? You look like you could use a change of scenery.’

He glances back at the sculpture of Giselle, and I’m not sure if he suspects the reason I came in here. Chances are he might. The Knight I know would have asked me why I was in here in the first place. And if what Chelle said wasn’t true, he might reassure me that it’s not.

“I’d like that,” I answer despite the doubt in my tone.

“Let’s go.”

We leave, but Chelle’s cruel words stay with me.

She might be horrible in many ways and the queen of bitches, but she wasn’t wrong. I did find the truth.

And clarity. There’s no competition with Giselle because she was Knight’s soulmate.

I’m not.