Chapter 136
Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian (Fifty Shades 4)
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
I press send and wish that she was here with me. She brightens up my home, my lifeâ¦me. I shake my head at my fanciful thoughts and look through the rest of my e-mails.
A ping tells me thereâs a new one from Ana.
* * *
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: The Situation
Date: June 2 2011 22:40 EST
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr. Grey,
I think it is very evident that I care for you deeply. How could you doubt that?
I hope your âsituationâ is under control.
Your Ana x
P.S.: Are you going to tell me what I said in my sleep?
She cares for me deeply? Thatâs nice. All at once that foreign feeling, absent all day, stirs and expands in my chest. Beneath it is a well of pain I donât want to acknowledge or deal with. It tugs at a lost memory of a young woman brushing out her long, dark hairâ¦
Fuck.
Donât go there, Grey.
I respond to Anaâs e-mailâand as a distraction decide to tease her.
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Pleading the Fifth
Date: June 2 2011 19:45
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
I like very much that you care for me. The âsituationâ here is not yet resolved.
With regard to your P.S., the answer is no.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
* * *
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Pleading Insanity
Date: June 2 2011 22:48 EST
To: Christian Grey
I hope it was amusing. But you should know I cannot accept any responsibility for what comes out of my mouth when I am unconscious. In factâyou probably misheard me.
A man of your advanced years is surely a little deaf.
For the first time since I got back to Seattle, I laugh. What a welcome distraction she is.
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Pleading Guilty
Date: June 2 2011 19:52
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
Sorry, could you speak up? I canât hear you.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Her response is swift.
* * *
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Pleading Insanity Again
Date: June 2 2011 22:54 EST
To: Christian Grey
You are driving me crazy.
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: I Hope Soâ¦
Date: June 2 2011 19:59
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
I intend to do exactly that on Friday evening. Looking forward to it.
;)
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Iâll have to think of something extra-special for my little freak.
* * *
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Grrrrrr
Date: June 2 2011 23:02 EST
To: Christian Grey
I am officially pissed at you.
Good night.
Miss A. R. Steele
Whoa. Would I tolerate this from anyone else?
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Wild Cat
Date: June 2 2011 20:05
To: Anastasia Steele
Are you growling at me, Miss Steele?
I possess a cat of my own for growlers.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
She doesnât respond. Five minutes go by and nothing. Sixâ¦Seven.
Damn. She means it. How can I tell her that while she slept she said she wouldnât leave me? Sheâll think Iâm crazy.
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: What You Said in Your Sleep
Date: June 2 2011 20:20
To: Anastasia Steele
Anastasia,
Iâd rather hear you say the words that you uttered in your sleep when youâre conscious, thatâs why I wonât tell you. Go to sleep. Youâll need to be rested, with what I have in mind for you tomorrow.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
She doesnât respond; I hope for once sheâs doing what sheâs told and sheâs asleep. Briefly I think of what we could do tomorrow, but itâs too arousing, so I push the thought aside and concentrate on my e-mails.
But I have to confess I feel a little lighter after some e-mail banter with Miss Steele. Sheâs good for my dark, dark soul.
FRIDAY, JUNE 3, 2011
* * *
I canât sleep. Itâs after two and Iâve been staring at the ceiling for an hour. Tonight itâs not my sleeping nightmares that are keeping me awake. Itâs a waking one.
Leila Williams.
The smoke detector on my ceiling is winking at me, its flashing green light mocking me.
Hell!
I close my eyes and let my thoughts run free.
Why was Leila suicidal? What possessed her? Her desperate unhappiness resonates with a younger, miserable me. Iâm trying to quash my memories, but the anger and desolation of my solitary teen years resurfaces and it wonât go away. It reminds me of my pain and of how I lashed out at everyone during my youth. Suicide crossed my mind often, but I always held back. I resisted for Grace. I knew sheâd be devastated. I knew she would blame herself if I took my life, and sheâd done so much for meâhow could I hurt her like that? And after I met Elenaâ¦everything changed.
Rising from the bed, I push these disquieting thoughts to the back of my mind. I need the piano.
I need Ana.
If sheâd signed the contract and everything had gone according to plan, she would be with me, upstairs, asleep. I could wake her, and lose myself in herâ¦or, under our new arrangement, she would be beside me, and I could fuck her and then watch her sleep.
What would she make of Leila?
As I sit down on the piano bench I know that Ana will never meet Leila, which is a good thing. I know how she feels about Elena. Lord knows how sheâd feel about an exâ¦a wayward ex.