Chapter 29
Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian (Fifty Shades 4)
She has an answer for everything. Itâs refreshing. âFair point well made, Miss Steele,â I note dryly.
With a quick, disapproving glance, she signs.
And before I can begin my pitch, she asks, âDoes this mean youâre going to make love to me tonight, Christian?â
What?
Me?
Make love?
Oh, Grey, letâs disabuse her of this straightaway. âNo, Anastasia, it doesnât. First, I donât make love. I fuck, hard.â
She gasps. Thatâs made her think.
âSecond, thereâs a lot more paperwork to do. And third, you donât yet know what youâre in for. You could still run from here screaming! Come, I want to show you my playroom.â
Sheâs nonplussed, the little v forming between her brows. âYou want to play on your Xbox?â
I laugh out loud.
Oh, baby.
âNo, Anastasia, no Xbox, no PlayStation. Come.â Standing, I offer her my hand, which she takes willingly. I lead her to the hallway and upstairs, where I stop outside the door to my playroom, my heart hammering in my chest.
This is it. Pay or play. Have I ever been this nervous? Realizing my desires depend on the turn of this key, I unlock the door, and in that moment I need to reassure her. âYou can leave anytime. The helicopter is on standby to take you whenever you want to go; you can stay the night and go home in the morning. Itâs fine, whatever you decide.â
âJust open the damn door, Christian,â she says with a mulish expression and her arms crossed.
This is the crossroads. I donât want her to run. But Iâve never felt this exposed. Even in Elenaâs handsâ¦and I know itâs because she knows nothing about the lifestyle.
I open the door and follow her into my playroom.
My safe place.
The only place where Iâm truly myself.
Ana stands in the middle of the room, studying all the paraphernalia that is so much a part of my life: the floggers, the canes, the bed, the benchâ¦Sheâs silent, drinking it in, and all I hear is the deafening pounding of my heart as the blood rushes past my eardrums.
Now you know.
This is me.
She turns and gives me a piercing stare as I wait for her to say something, but she prolongs my agony and walks farther into the room, forcing me to follow her.
Her fingers trail over a suede flogger, one of my favorites. I tell her what itâs called, but she doesnât respond. She walks over to the bed, her hands exploring, her fingers running over one of the carved pillars.
âSay something,â I ask. Her silence is unbearable. I need to know if sheâs going to run.
âDo you do this to people or do they do it to you?â
Finally!
âPeople?â I want to snort. âI do this to women who want me to.â
Sheâs willing to have a dialogue. Thereâs hope.
She frowns. âIf you have willing volunteers, why am I here?â
âBecause I want to do this with you, very much.â Visions of her tied up in various positions around the room overwhelm my imagination; on the cross, on the bed, over the benchâ¦
âOh,â she says, and wanders to the bench. My eyes are drawn to her inquisitive fingers stroking the leather. Her touch is curious, slow, and sensualâis she even aware?
âYouâre a sadist?â she says, startling me.
Fuck. She sees me.
âIâm a Dominant,â I say quickly, hoping to move the conversation on.
âWhat does that mean?â she inquires, shocked, I think.
âIt means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me, in all things.â
âWhy would I do that?â
âTo please me,â I whisper. This is what I need from you. âIn very simple terms, I want you to want to please me.â
âHow do I do that?â she breathes.
âI have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you. If you donât, I shall punish you, and you will learn.â
And I canât wait to train you. In every way.
She stares at the canes behind the bench. âAnd where does all this fit in?â She waves at her surroundings.
âItâs all part of the incentive package. Both reward and punishment.â
âSo youâll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.â
Spot on, Miss Steele.
âItâs about gaining your trust and your respect, so youâll let me exert my will over you.â I need your permission, baby. âI will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joyâitâs a very simple equation.â
âOkay, and what do I get out of this?â
âMe.â I shrug. Thatâs it, baby. Just me. All of me. And youâll find pleasure, tooâ¦
Her eyes widen fractionally as she stares at me, saying nothing. Itâs exasperating. âYouâre not giving anything away, Anastasia. Letâs go back downstairs where I can concentrate better. Itâs very distracting having you in here.â
I hold out my hand to her and for the first time she looks from my hand to my face, undecided.
Shit.
Iâve frightened her. âIâm not going to hurt you, Anastasia.â
Tentatively she puts her hand in mine. Iâm elated. She hasnât run.
Relieved, I decide to show her the submissiveâs bedroom.
âIf you do this, let me show you.â I lead her down the corridor. âThis will be your room. You can decorate it how you like, have whatever you like in here.â