Where You Belong: Chapter 1

‘You can’t seriously think this tastes good,’ Marcus mutters behind his wine glass.

I glance down at my drink, swirling the contents of the glass as Dean Martin plays in the background, setting the mood.

Marcus has always been impulsive. From the second he rushed through assessing the aroma, I knew he wouldn’t understand the beauty lying in the glass in front of him.

Women are like a glass of wine. To truly appreciate them, you have to take your time, draw out the taste…the pleasure.

Not like I do much of that these days. No, lately, I’m hollow inside. Bitter with resentment from my own mistakes that led to the biggest regret of my life.

I bring the glass to my nose and take quick sniffs. If you don’t sniff the wine first, your senses aren’t fully opened to take in the tastes.

This particular wine gives off a berry aroma with notes of chocolate. Most Italian wines, like Chianti, are only made from eighty-percent Sangiovese grapes, but this one is fuller-bodied, made entirely from Montalcino, Italy’s famous grapes. Is there anything sexier than a full-bodied wine that can take on your pallet with only one grape as the star of the show?

‘How much beauty do you let pass you by on a daily basis? This wine is sexy, elegant, and bold,’ I tell him. ‘I feel sorry for the ladies in your life. Do you even get them off? You know you have to take your time with them. Women are complex, and just like these wines, you have to get to know them first.’

Marcus rolls his eyes while my other brother, Lucas, snickers at my remark. Little do they know, I’m the guiltiest culprit in the room. I let beauty pass me by every single day, too wrapped up in my misery to bother noticing it. Being with a woman nowadays is simply for a quick release, just to scratch an itch.

‘I think Gabe just accused you of not being able to please your women.’ Lucas smiles at Marcus in delight. ‘What do ya have to say to that?’

Marcus huffs, like the mere idea is ludicrous. ‘I know damn well what to do with my women. What would you know about women anyway? You refuse to get back out there and actually settle down with someone.’

My hand tightens around my glass at his comment. Lucas shakes his head, knowing that Marcus never knows when to keep his mouth shut.

‘I may not know a damn thing about how to keep a woman, but I definitely know how to make her scream in the bedroom,’ I spit out, the words tasting sour on my tongue.

Does anybody really know how to make a woman happy enough to stick around in a marriage? I sure as hell didn’t. Angie left both me and our daughter high and dry two years ago for a fresh start in California.

‘Let’s not get into it tonight,’ Lucas jumps in. ‘We’re here to sample these wine and food pairings. I also don’t think I have the energy to deal with you two tonight.’

I shift around in my seat, not wanting to admit he’s right.

It’s been a long two weeks since Ma took a spill down the stairs and scared the crap out of us.

The fall resulted in a herniated disc that began pressing on a nerve causing some excruciating pain. Surgery was the quickest option for relief and since she went in for it last week, we’ve all been checking in on her non-stop. Pa isn’t great with blood or incisions, and the last thing we need is him hitting the ground, too.

My parents still live in the same house we grew up in in Cleveland, in a neighborhood called Little Italy. I’m the oldest of four kids. Me, Lucas, Marcus, and then our baby sister Mia.

Four years ago, my siblings and I started our own wine brokerage company called Giannelli Family Selections. We travel the world to taste the finest wines, and then we recommend them to restaurants all over the United States. Tonight we are eating at one of our client’s restaurants, Michaelangelo’s, which is owned by award-winning Chef Michael.

Mia had to stay home in Shaker Heights with my four-year-old daughter Sienna because I’m out a babysitter. We’ve been scraping by since Ma, my usual babysitter, got hurt. The four of us taking turns watching Sienna, depending on our work schedules.

There’s no way we can keep up like this for much longer, and I know I need to hire a nanny. The problem is that ever since Angie left us, I’ve had trouble trusting people.

Sienna was too young to understand or even remember her mother, but I remember the day my little girl lost the most important relationship in her life. All for what? For more sun and a higher cost of living? Giannelli Family Selections was still experiencing growing pains at the time, and life was tough financially. Sometimes I wonder if Angie would have stuck around if I had taken a normal corporate job and could have adequately provided from the beginning.

Last year was a huge turning point for our business. We scored some major clients around the country and have been growing exponentially ever since. Six months ago, I was able to move into a beautiful home with Sienna, and it feels so good that the blood, sweat, and tears we put into the business have finally paid off.

‘Well, I, for one, like this Brunello di Montalcino paired with the sacchetti al tartufo. The Chianti pairs well with the taglioni pasta,’ I say firmly.

‘I agree. The Brunello is a great wine. I think customers will enjoy the addition,’ Lucas comments before taking a bite of his veal, moaning as he chews. ‘Shit, this is so damn good. Is this really what we get to call work? It doesn’t feel like it.’

Marcus laughs, and I even break a smile. He’s right. While we’re in California, Italy, or France, I often want to pinch myself when we taste these unbelievable wines and foods made by incredible people.

‘Too bad Mia is missing out on this,’ Marcus adds. ‘Any luck on finding a nanny yet?’

My body stills at the mention of a nanny.

‘Not yet. I interviewed a couple of women yesterday,’ I tell them, thinking back to the interviews.

I wouldn’t say they went terribly, and some of the candidates were more than qualified to watch Sienna. I don’t even know what I’m looking for. I just know I didn’t feel it.

‘Annnnd. How did they go?’ Lucas eyes me skeptically.

I shrug my shoulders. ‘They were alright. None of them were a good fit.’

They both make an audible sigh.

‘Look, you know how much we love Sienna. I have a blast watching her. I’m also pretty sure I’m her favorite uncle.’ Marcus smiles over at Lucas, who just rolls his eyes. ‘But we can’t manage this rotation anymore. I have to fly to New York tomorrow, and Lucas goes to Cali on Thursday. Mia can’t be a full-time nanny while also managing all her responsibilities for the company. You have to find someone to start by Monday.’

Today is Tuesday. They want me to find someone who can start in six days? Fuck, I know I’ve been leaning on them a lot, but I didn’t realize it was that bad.

I run my hand through my hair. ‘I’m sorry. I just…it’s hard to find someone I trust. What if Sienna gets attached, and they just…leave?’

I watch as a solemn look takes over each of their faces.

‘I know it’s been tough, man. You’re doing a great job, especially given the circumstances.’ Lucas pats my shoulder. ‘No matter what happens with this nanny, Sienna will be fine. Besides, this is just for the summer. Until Ma gets better.’

‘About that…I’ve been thinking. Ma’s fall makes me worry about her running around with Sienna all day. I haven’t decided yet, but if the summer goes well, I may consider getting a full-time nanny.’

Marcus’s head falls back, and he lets out a ripple of laughter. ‘Good luck telling Ma that. She will never go for it.’

Lucas chuckles. ‘Yeah, sorry, man. I’m with Marcus. Ma would never agree to that.’

‘I’m not saying she can never have Sienna. She can take her for a couple hours every couple days, but it’s too much for her to watch her all day, five days a week. She needs time to relax and enjoy her retirement.’

They both shake their heads at me.

‘Well, you have the summer to decide. Right now, you need to work on finding someone…anyone to take over. Even if they are only temporary until you find someone more permanent,’ Lucas says.

‘Didn’t Allen’s daughter say she had a friend from college looking for some summer work?’ Marcus suggests.

I’ve been reluctant to take Allen up on the offer. I don’t know his daughter, much less her choice of friends. What if she is a big partier and my nanny is constantly showing up hungover? I don’t even know how old she is. Is she eighteen, nineteen? How mature can she be?

‘I see the wheels spinning in your head.’ Lucas points at me. ‘No excuses. Allen’s been a client of ours for years now, so you know he’s a good guy. You no longer have the time to be picky, and he wouldn’t recommend somebody he doesn’t trust. Call him on the way home tonight.’

My body deflates. I know he’s right. Part of me does feel better about hiring through somebody that I know. These other possible nannies I found on a website. They could be crazy, for all I know. Screw background checks. Just because you’ve never been caught doing shady shit doesn’t mean I trust you.

After we settle our tab with the waitress and say goodbye to Terry, we walk outside. It’s mid-June, and the nighttime temperature is starting to feel muggy. I roll up the sleeves of my dress shirt in an effort to combat the heat.

‘Make sure you call Allen on your ride home.’ Lucas slaps my back. ‘I’ll see ya tomorrow, brotha.’

I turn around and walk up the street toward my car. Murray Hill is still an all-cobblestone street that has been around since the mid-eighteen hundreds when the Italian immigrants settled here. It’s remained strong in its Italian heritage with restaurants, cafes, shops, and art galleries. It was an amazing place to grow up as a kid.

I hop in my black Range Rover, easing my way down the cobblestone street as the imperfections of the road knock me up and down. When I finally turn onto the paved road, I scroll through my phone until I find Allen’s number. As soon as the ring echoes through my car speakers, I clench my steering wheel as I brace for the conversation.

‘Gabriel. To what do I owe the pleasure?’ Allen answers.

‘Hi, Allen. I hope it’s not a bad time.’ I take a sharp right as I get closer to home.

‘Not at all. Just not used to hearing from you this late.’

‘I’m sorry about that. I was just calling about your daughter’s roommate. You said she was looking for some summer work, and I could really use the help.’

I hear him chuckle in the background. ‘Marcus told me you were gonna get to the end of your rope and need some last-minute reinforcements. I take it this call at this hour means you’re desperate.’

I take an annoyed breath. I’m gonna beat Marcus tomorrow morning.

‘Yeah, I suppose you could say I’ve let it get down to the wire. I don’t suppose she’s still looking?’

‘Well, as a matter of fact, she is still looking for something. She’s spending some time with Alicia this week. I’ll text you her number so you can set up a meeting.’

‘Thanks, Allen. I really appreciate it.’

‘Not a problem. You take care of yourself. We’ll talk soon, I’m sure,’ he says.

‘Will do. Talk to you soon.’

When I click off the call, I’m turning into my driveway. I open my front door to Mia lounging on my couch as she stares at her phone. She hears me enter and looks over, smiling.

‘How was it?’ she asks, making no attempt to move as I join her.

I take a seat on the opposite side of the couch as I unbutton the top buttons of my shirt.

‘It was good. Food was delicious, as always. Lucas and I agreed on the Brunello as the winner to present to the restaurant. Like usual, Marcus tried to argue with us about it. How was Sienna?’

‘Perfect, as always,’ she says, a hint of adoration in her voice as she talks about my daughter. ‘Did they talk to you about finding a nanny?’

Well, that didn’t take long. I guess I’ve been stressing all of them out the last two weeks. I try to rub the tension away from my neck with my hand. It feels like the stress is constantly there these days.

‘Yeah, they did. I’m sorry if I’ve taken advantage of you guys lately.’

She rolls her eyes. ‘You know that isn’t true, but we do all need to get back to work with our regular hours. It will start to affect our business if we let it go on too long.’

‘I know. I called Allen on the way home, and he texted me his daughter’s friend’s contact information. She’s looking for summer work. I’m gonna call her as soon as you leave.’

‘Oh, well, don’t let me hold you up.’ Mia stands and begins to gather her things. ‘I’ll see you in the office tomorrow?’

I nod my head. ‘Only for a couple hours. I’ll be bringing Sienna with me, so I can’t stay too long.’

‘Open yourself up a bit. Whoever you choose will be great with her. I trust your instincts,’ she assures me before kissing my cheek on her way out.

When I close the door, I reflect on her words. She trusts my instincts…the same ones that told me Angie was someone I should settle down with. Sure, we weren’t perfect together, but it was good enough. I was so focused on getting the business off the ground, I didn’t put much thought into the marriage. It just seemed like the obvious next move. Never would I have imagined she would be the type to up and leave a two-year-old daughter behind.

I pull out my phone and open the text from Allen, hovering over the number as I debate if it’s too late to call. It’s not even ten, and given she’s fresh out of college, I’m sure she’s awake. I click on the number as I wait until a happy voice answers the phone.