Where You Belong: Chapter 13

She’s been avoiding me all week. I want to be pissed at her, but I’m too busy avoiding her myself. After I behaved like a drunken molester Sunday night and she ran away from me, I’ve felt like shit all week. I know my judgment was impaired, but I swear she seemed affected by my touch.

Then why did she run away?

It’s already Thursday afternoon. Normally I can’t wait to get home to be with Sienna, and I was even starting to enjoy coming home to both of them and having dinner together.

Now, I want to come up with any excuse that I can to work late, but I’m not going to let my bad decisions affect Sienna. What kind of father would I be if I did that?

A knock on my office door startles me.

‘Come in!’ I shout from my chair.

Marcus peeks his head inside. ‘Got a second?’

‘What’s going on?’ I ask, waving him in as he unbuttons his suit jacket and takes a seat across from me.

‘Not much. Just checking in on you. You’ve been acting a bit short with everyone this week. Everything okay?’

Is everything okay? If wanting to fuck your fresh-outta-college nanny is okay, then I’m more than okay. I wish I could bounce this scenario off Marcus to see what he thinks, but I’m too chicken shit to breathe the words out loud.

‘I’m fine, man. Things are just getting busy around here. I’m gearing up to present the new wine we selected from Italy, you know how it goes.’

His eyebrows raise like he doesn’t believe me. I wait in my seat to see if he’s going to call me on my bullshit.

‘It’s gonna be a lot of work and a ton of travel to get that wine out there. I’m probably going to need to schedule a night out to release my stress…if you know what I mean?’

Did he seriously just come in here to tell me he needs to fuck to relieve stress? Sometimes I wonder about him. Maybe Pa accidentally dropped a brick or two on his head growing up.

I groan at his words.

‘Can we not discuss your extracurricular activities at work? Some of us have class and don’t need to strut around airing our dirty laundry.’

He inspects his sleeve like he didn’t hear a word I said.

‘I was thinking of calling Alexis. She seems like someone who would be up for a good time.’

I can’t tell whether he’s serious or not, but I don’t give a shit. All the muscles in my body are tense and angry, ready to fight. Unfortunately, punching my brother at our place of work isn’t an option. Otherwise, he would already be on the floor.

‘Get. The. Fuck. Out,’ I growl at him.

He starts to laugh like this entire thing is a game to him. Well, I have far too much sexual frustration pent up in me to find anything amusing.

When he doesn’t make any effort to stand. I get up and grab his jacket to help him get going, which only seems to make him laugh more. I march us over to my door and throw him out when I hear him yell Lucas’s name.

‘I did it, Lucas! You owe me a hundred big ones,’ he yells down the hall.

Well, that’s my family for ya. Turning my misery into their entertainment. If only they knew what kind of slow torture the past month has been. I feel like every situation in my house lately puts Alexis into some position that shouldn’t make me hard, but damn if my body can control it.

My lungs are gasping for air and, my legs are feeling weak, but I press accelerate on my treadmill and keep pushing myself. It’s all I can think to do to ease the mounting tension in my body. Before Alexis came along, my world was dark, but it made sense. Sienna was my only bright spot, and the rest was just me going through the motions.

Now I’m not sure what to make of anything. I don’t like feeling completely out of control every day, but the feelings she’s evoking aren’t completely unappealing. What would it be like to fuck again and actually feel something when I’m buried deep inside a woman? The problem is with that, comes the danger of someone ripping my heart out again.

And someone breaking Sienna’s heart.

I push the increase speed button again. I need these thoughts to fade away…where the only thing I can focus on is the pain.

When I feel like my body can’t take anymore, I hit stop and grab my towel. The house is silent early in the morning, so I can go about my routine in peace. No worrying about whether Alexis will be in the next room. I walk into the dark kitchen and fill up a glass of water. The water quenches the dire thirst I was forcing on myself but does nothing for the thirst I’m feeling deep in my soul.

I hear a gasp just as I’m finished slamming down the water.

Alexis is standing in just a T-shirt, hair askew, looking like she was just properly fucked this morning. I’m standing here in just my gym shorts, thinking I had the house to myself.

‘Sorry. I was just working out, didn’t mean to scare you,’ I tell her.

There’s no denying that she is ogling my body right now. I want to tell her to cut that shit out before I take her right here on the counter, but I’m all kinds of fucked in the head after she ran from me the other night and then proceeded to avoid me all week. I don’t know what the hell she wants.

‘It’s fine. I just came down to lick some water.’ Her eyes become big when she notices her mistake. ‘I mean, I came down to drink some water.’

‘Don’t let me stop you.’ I motion for her to continue.

Was she just picturing licking me? Or was I licking her?

Fuck! There goes my productivity at work today.

Something has gotta give here. I’m not sure what is going on between us, but I need to apologize for the other night and tell her that it will never happen again. I’m not going to make her feel uncomfortable under my roof for the remainder of her stay. Maybe if we just address it and get it out in the open, we can move on from it.

I look down at my sweaty, shirtless body. I’m not having this conversation with her half-naked.

Tonight…after work.