CHAPTER 41 : DETERMINED

All members of the music club were still running around trying to get things done the morning of the Live Contest. Om and I were especially busy since Brother Sakda made things worse for us by giving our class a pop quiz. We couldn’t ditch to help prepare the event. By the time we made it out of the classroom, it was already past 11 am. We ended up rushing around, covered in sweats.

The amplifiers kept breaking down to this very day for no apparent reason. I have turned into the club’s repairman now (heh heh). When something broke down, they called me to fix it. At first, I didn’t know how to fix the amplifier myself (since I was afraid of getting electrocuted) but then I took everything apart and examined every wires without any fear to find out what the heck was wrong with it. It couldn’t be helped.

Eventually, the screwdriver and the wrench became my 33rd and 34th limps. Go on. I dare you to break down again. I’ll fix them all! Bring it on! Even Om was being especially nice to me because he noticed how I was fixing so many things to the point where he said he felt exhausted just watching me.

“The bands will go on stage in half an hour. The event will start in 15 minutes. The first and the second band please head backstage and standby.” I walk (with the screwdriver and the wrench still in my hands) to into the room full of the contest participants. And here I thought we made enough room for everybody. The room looks cramped all of a sudden. I guess it’s due to each band bringing their own instruments too.

I finish reminding the bands before I turn and stick the list of the participants on the door for those that cannot remember which order they’ll be playing. But because I am in such a rush, I don’t get a chance to look around and see if there were any familiar faces in the room. I still need to head over to the soundboard where nong Knott is the sound engineer for today’s event. He still has some troubles handing the responsibility and I fear that he might break the soundboard if I take any longer getting there.

“Noh!” A voice that I recognize calls out from behind me while I am still putting up the list of bands. I reply without having to look at his face. “What’s up, Earn?”

“You tired?” He asks as I bang on the door to make sure that the paper sticks to the door. I pound it a couple of times more before I answer him. “Freaking tired. I gotta go though. The sound engineer guy’s in a daze.” Hm…did it feel like I abruptly cut our conversation short? Realizing that, I turn around and look at Earn who seems to have a slight disappointment look on his face.

What should I do? I reach over and pat his back twice to show my support. “Fighting, man. Can’t wait to see you on the stage.” That is enough to bring a smile on his face.

I smile to myself and plan to leave so I can check on Knott (who is probably out of his mind by now) but it feels like someone is staring at me. I turn back to look inside the waiting room.

P’Oak’s band (the previous music club president) is grinning widely at me. I quickly nod to greet him. His band definitely fits the name All Star because each member has incredible talent. The band is filled with some of the best musicians from the club, so how am I supposed to give them high scores? His band is definitely the one to beat.

I greet p’Oak’s band before I look around the room. the members of the band Mafia are sitting close by. Phun is chatting with his friends. He seems to be really into the conversation since he hasn’t even noticed that I entered the room. My eyes meet with Fi’s instead.

I use my hands and ask if Fi can get Phun’s attention for me and he quickly does so. It takes a couple of strong nudges before Phun finally turns to look my way. He looks surprise to see me standing here. That’s funny, I’ve been standing here for ages.

He beams at me and I raise my brows and secretly give him the V sign. (I can’t raise my hands too high, people might accuse me of being biased towards him.) Ah…I can’t linger around here any longer or Knott’ll lose it. I mouth the words ‘good luck’ to him and I leave the room in a swift.

***

Knott is able to handle the soundboard by himself after we finished the last soundcheck. (Actually, Art is there with him too. It’s just a precaution since these equipment are expensive.) Now, it’s time I return to my spot on the judges table. I still have the walkie-talkie, the wrench and the screwdriver on me in case one of the amplifiers breaks down again. (You just gotta endure it all when you’re the club president.) The event begins with a speech from the Headmaster (who the heck invited him?) then follows by the teachers who are advisors for our club. Then I say a few words in closing (very briefly) before the event officially starts.

Since there are only 15 bands, I think there aren’t too little or too many. I check the list and notice that quite a few of the underclassman I know are participating too. Per is one of those guys. I see that nong Mawin is sitting some distance away on the bleachers. I guess they had another fight. I flip the pages and I also notice that nong Mick is listed as well. He’s with the other 10th graders. I can’t help but tease Om about this.

“Oh…I have a feeling that this band will get excessively high scores.” I point to the name of nong Mick’s band. Naturally, Om would never own up to this.

“Film’s not one of the judges.” Oh, sure! Go with that! This guy gets on my nerves. I shake my head wearily, not realizing that I’ll be the one being in the hot seat within a few seconds.

“What about you? Are you rooting for P’Queer or Mafia?~ After all, you’re Mr. Popular.” There it is. I turn and give him a stink eye. “You’re funny! Mafia, of course! Hahaha!” I play along with the joke and Om smacks me right in the head.

“I knew it. This whole competition is fixed!” Now Om has me in a headlock. Aaaaahhhh! I can’t breathe, goddamn it!

“I’m-I’m-I’m kidding! Let goooooo!” I struggle against Om’s hold and I can hear his amused laughter. I’ll get you next time! If it weren’t for the fact that the bands will start playing soon, I wouldn’t have allowed myself being the only victim. The hosts of this event (nong Kim and Ken offered to help) are now introducing the first band so we need to compose ourselves and focus on the stage right away.

A long while later, it is time for the fourth band to perform. The third band had some technical difficulty where the guitar’s feedback was ringing throughout the gym. (I was about to fall asleep and was shaken awake by it. I guess it was done on purpose.) And whose job is it to fix this? It’s none other than this Incredi-Noh. Do I get a special prize for doing all of this? In the end, it wasn’t an electrical problem but the guitarist had tuned the sequence incorrectly. (You can tune this and adjust for higher or lower pitches. But when you make a mistake with the tuning, you get a feedback like when you shove a microphone in front of a speaker. It was so loud and annoying.) I had to try and fix this for nothing! I should take points off for this!

I’ve been in a daze up until the fifth band, which is Earn’s band. I’m a little more awake now but not because of anything else but rather that Om is stomping on my foot over and over. Bastard. You’re buying me a new pair of shoes if you left any marks. I scowl at Om before I flip the page so I can write down the scores for P’Queer.

For the finals, each band are supposed to play 3 different songs with a 15 minutes limit. They are not allowed to go beyond that. If their equipment breaks down then they need to fix them as soon as they can (unless the equipment provided by the club breaks down, then we’d stop the time). Earn’s band (and other p’Queers members) quickly set up everything without wasting any time in the middle of loud cheers from the audience. Most of them are the underclassman who are stand members so they’re being especially loud.

P’Queer is trying to get on the judges’ good side once again. They begin with “7 Words” by Deftones, Om’s favorite band. (Quite brave of them.) When Earn starts singing the “suck, suck, suck” part, I immediately look over to the Brother who has a stern expression on his face. (And he follows by yelling the word “fuck” into the microphone. Way to stress me out, damn it!) At any rate, everything is going by smoothly because right now is simply the time for the kids to let off some steam, hahaha.

In all honestly, I do like this song due to their different beats and rhythms. I enjoy listening to songs with a heavy bass (It probably has something to do with me playing the cello) so this is one of my favorites. I guess I can give them some bonus points for the song selection. (Don’t tell anybody.) Next up is “Zero” by The Smashing Pumpkins. How long will this band keep sucking up to Om anyway? The guy in question is rocking out in his seat nonstop. He even turns around and whispers something to me. “Earn’s good too, ya know. He’s not as hot as Phun but he has good tastes.” This asshole is too easily swayed!

I shake my head dully, not wanting to argue with him. I’m still rocking in my chair along to Earn’s singing though. The drummer has good timing. Everything flows together nicely without a hitch. I’m not being biased here, but they are scoring pretty high. It’s too bad that Earn’s voice doesn’t sound as obnoxious as khun Billy, the lead singer of the band. I suppose his voice is too clean and suave so he’s more suited for songs from Bakery Music. (Ha…)

Speaking of which…while this isn’t something from Bakery Music, this is pretty close.

I look up when I hear familiar chords coming from the guitar on the stage. It’s a completely different feel from the rock songs they were playing just earlier. Earn flashes a wide and devious grin my way. He introduces the last song using his deep voice. “I’ve been practicing this song since I knew that I was about to get my heart broken.” Well, then. Everyone is laughing gleefully but all I can do is chuckling dryly while Om kicks me in the shin. (You know this hurts, right?)

Earn stares at me and shows off his signature dimple. “I still hope you’ll think about it again.”

“It may be only a dream

Will the day when the two of us fall in love ever arrive?

So I ask

How do you really feel about the things that I’ve done for you?

Do you know?

That I’m sadden

By what you told me

When you told me that you can’t give me more than this

I’ll only ask if you’d only give me a chance

Please don’t retreat just yet

Think about it

The things I’ve done

There’s no need to fear your heart

And I may not be the one

Just try to keep an open mind and accept my heart

Would that be possible?

How do you really feel about the things that I’ve done for you?

Do you know?

That I’m sadden

By what you told me

When you told me that you can’t give me more than this

I’ll only ask if you’d only give me a chance

Please don’t retreat just yet

Think about it

The things I’ve done

There’s no need to fear your heart

And I may not be the one

Just try to keep an open mind and accept my heart

Would that be possible?

Think about it

The things I’ve done

There’s no need to fear your heart

And I may not be the one

Just try to keep an open mind and accept my heart

Think about it

The things I’ve done

There’s no need to fear your heart

And I may not be the one

Just try to keep an open mind and accept my heart

Would that be possible?”

Hmm… That bastard Om is kicking me repeatedly with his feet. Hmm… So when is Earn gonna stop staring at my face? (And I happen to be the type that stares back too). Hmm… So what now? I don’t even know how I should score them.

Finally, the last melody is played. I give the lead singer who is still grinning at me a clumsy smile. Then, he leaves the stage and Om is the first person to suddenly yell out something very loudly.

“Right in the middle of the gym, man! The balls of steel!” Real funny. The guy didn’t even mention my name. Nobody is as nosy as you are.

I shake my head while I write down the scores for Earn’s band. Let’s see…they played well. The first two songs don’t really go well with the third song. (See, I told you guys that Earn’s voice matches songs for wooing girls.) The set list was a little messy, unfortunately. They should’ve stuck to a concept instead of playing punk then rock and then soft rock. It was difficult to keep up with the pace. I need to take some points off for that, I hope he understands.

The next band after Earn’s band is called Seven Dwarfs. I chuckle when I read their name on the list. This is nong Mick’s band.

However, Om is acting nonchalant about this. He’s playing with the pen in his hand while keeping his eyes on the sheet of paper on the table. He refuses to look at nong Mick despite the kid trying to look this way as if he wants some encouragements.

It’s my turn to get on Om’s case. I stick my feet over and kick him in the shin. “It’s your guy’s turn. He seems nervous, how cute is that?”

“You better watch it or Film’s gonna kick your ass.” He shrugs it off. The intro begins and we stop in order to watch their performance.

Nong Mick’s band is a ska band since they’re all playing woodwind instruments. Nong Mick is playing the french horn (Om’s surprisingly a good teacher, he actually taught him how to play that after all) and every time he plays something, there’s a huge buzz coming from the audience. (He’s goddamn adorable, seriously.) They’re earning extra points from me since I normally listen to this genre.

I shake my leg along to the rhythm to which Om ends up kicking me. I suppose he thinks I’m being too much. “Well, aren’t you really into this?” What the hell? This guy is the jealous type, isn’t he?

I don’t pay any attention and shrug him off. I focus on writing down the scores instead. I notice that Om smiles at the kid on the stage every now and then. Every time their eyes meet, nong Mick would get so embarrassed to the point where he nearly plays the wrong note. How cute! (What is so great about this friend of mine anyway though?)

After nong Mick’s band (who left the stage while Om was looking forlorn. You still have the nerves to deny it after this?!), other bands performed on the stage. Per played the guitar for his band (and even sang one song), but they were being totally indie since I haven’t a clue which songs they were performing because I’ve never heard of them. When Per was singing, he kept looking over at nong Mawin and the poor kid started crying. (I don’t know if he was so touched or embarrassed that Per sang the first note incorrectly.) This could be talk of the town by the time tomorrow rolls around. Heh heh heh, my stage isn’t for confessing your feelings, ya know!

As for All Star, they were the ones to beat. P’Oak switched out the members for every single song (where did he find these guys?). Each songs also had new arrangement that they did themselves too. My stage isn’t the Hot Wave Music Award, jeez! Each category has the maximum of 30 points only. I wanted to give them 80 in each but I couldn’t find a way to do that so I gave them perfect scores.

Eventually, we arrive at the band before the last one. I’m still in a daze so I take a timeout and sip some water from a straw that Ngoi had refilled for me earlier. But when I look up, I see that Phun is setting up the instruments on the stage.

He gives me a tiny smile (in passing) before he checks his guitar and doesn’t look at my way again.

The first song they chose to perform is “Because We Are Humans” by Street Funk Rollers. Here’s another band that’s trying to suck up to me. I’m a bit surprised that his band chose a song with woodwind instruments. But then I understand when look up and notice that they had borrowed nong Mum and his friends from my music club to play with them. (When did they agree to this?) I like how Phun is playing the guitar because it goes well with the bass. The drums are a bit too loud but they still work. They’re giving a different feel to the song. Aw, crap. Will people start accusing me of being biased if I give this band a high score?!

Next up is…which song is this? Ah, “Tuk Tuk Breakdown” by Kaoi-Jo Brothers. When did this band turn into a reggae group? (They were playing rock during the prelims.) So this is the surprise he was talking about? This is hilarious. Everyone is dancing now, even Om stands up and dances too. He tries to pull me up and make me dance with him but there’s no way I’m doing that! I do have some shame!

Phun laughs heartily to the people with weird dance moves (none other than the Angels Gang) and I begin to feel like he’s looking especially handsome today. I wonder what he did. Maybe he was being serious when he mentioned yesterday that he needed to look good today? Did he use a facial mask? Is he wearing makeup? He’s looking real dapper today. Or maybe I’m looking too much into this. Maybe it’s the orange lights from the stage. The funniest part has to be when Fi pulls out the khene. Ahahaha! He actually knows how to play this?! There goes your student council president image! You should’ve told us that you’re secretly a mor lam musician. (Hahaha!)

Two songs later and the audience are freaking exhausted. I’m beginning to think that they’re just playing for the hell of it and not for the winning title. Their song choices are peculiar. They’re messy but fun. Their techniques aren’t great but their performance score is way above 30! Om is out of breath so they’re pretty much awesome for being able to achieve that. (Hahaha!)

I can’t wait to see what they’ll play next after “Tuk Tuk Breakdown.” But then, the kids playing the woodwind instruments leave the stage in a row. Now, there are only the four band members still on the stage. Fi walks up to say something into the microphone.

“We’re ending the party right here since the ugliest guy in our band suddenly wants to sing.” Everyone starts yelling and laughing since someone is shouting, “Isn’t that you?!” from the audience.

I notice that Fi was about to stick out his middle finger but stopped himself just in time. He turns and gives the Brother an embarrassed smile. “You’re all mistaken, you need to get glasses. So Phun, you better sing this well. If we lose points because of this then I’m gonna kill you.” Fi answers the crowd before he speaks to the guitar player. Phun switches to an acoustic guitar that he had brought with him, then he drags a tall stool over and sits on it. He smiles briefly without saying anything else.

“The stage is his now!” Fi ends with that and he leaves the stage. Phun is sitting in the middle of the stage, being literally the center of everyone’s attention. The noisy audience is now quieting down to a complete silence. It seems Phun is concentrating very hard too.

The sweet melodies are being played from that acoustic guitar, so much so that I cannot look away despite Om’s constant nudge on my leg with his foot.

Phun looks up and gives me an embarrassed smile for a moment before he goes back to playing the guitar and begins to sing.

“In a world where it’s a labyrinth

In a world where everyone must struggle

It’s confusing, tiring and exhausting

In a world where agony prevails

And constantly enters my life

Sometimes I’m unsure how to overcome them

But as life goes on and the more I experience

It’s making me realize

I’m glad to have you in my life

I’m glad to have met you

You are the only encouragement I have

In every single minute

I’m glad to have you in my life

No matter what I will face

I’m at ease

Knowing that you will be right here

Within these numerous obstacles

Within these doubts and chaos

Within my future, my present, and my past

Within these pains that I must encounter

That I can never escape from

I don’t know what else I must endure tomorrow

But as life goes on and the more I experience

It’s making me realize

I’m glad to have you in my life

I’m glad to have met you

You are the only encouragement I have

In every single minute

I’m glad to have you in my life

No matter what I will face

I’m at ease

Knowing that you will be right here

But as life goes on and the more I experience

It’s making me realize…

I’m glad to have you in my life

I’m glad to have met you

You are the only encouragement I have

In every single minute

I’m glad to have you in my life

No matter what I will face

I’m at ease

Knowing that you will be right here

I’m at ease

Knowing that you will be…with me…”

Once the last melody ends, there is a thunderous applause filling the gym. Even all of the judges are giving a standing ovation to Phun. I notice that he wipes away his tears, just like many others present, including me.

Phun doesn’t have a great singing voice (he even went off-key several times). He doesn’t sing well or is able to pull off the sweet tones like Earn can. Phun can’t play the guitar in a fancy way like the seniors or his friends. But his determination and sincerity came through during the song. It’s those things that made me realize…that the person he sang this to is the luckiest person in the entire world.

“Phun won, man.” Om tells me while he’s still clapping his hands. I give him a chuckle with tears lingering in my eyes. He playfully nudges my head as if I’m a crybaby.

Earn is clapping away at the other end of the gym. He gives me a smile like he wants to tell me something. But whatever it is he wants to let me know, I still smile back at him.

***

There were no twists or surprises to the results of the Live Contest. The first place went to p’Oak’s band, All Star, just as expected. The second place went to another band full of seniors. The third place went to Earn’s band (I’m pretty sure they got a ton of points from Om). Nobody objected to the result as those watching seemed to be pleased with it. I happily congratulated the bands on the stage. :)

Phun’s band didn’t place in the top three but they won the hearts of the crowd. Their fast songs were so much fun while the ballad was incredibly touching. No one opposed to their Fan Favorite title. Although there were no special trophies or a cash prize (they got a box of crackers, just for fun, haha) but Phun’s bright and dazzling smile while on the stage was still something worth laying eyes upon the most.

After that, a bunch of the members from the music club, those that participated in the contest and those that did not, all helped clearing the equipment from the stage ( and yet, there weren’t that many people when we we setting up, hmph!) It didn’t take long for everything to be put away and cleaned up the place.

“Thanks, everyone. Thanks so much.” I say to all the upperclassman, my friends and the underclassmen to thank them for completing another big event. Everybody had a hand in this. If one were missing, we couldn’t have done all of this. I notice that nong Mawin is sitting nearby waiting for Per so they can head home together. (It was obvious since Per kept looking at the bleachers, I guess he was concerned.) Om and nong Mick are helping carrying stuff too and they look real cute together. Although, I was forced to listen to Film’s complaints about how he shouldn’t have left a grilled fish with a cat. (Om’s no cat, he’s more like a vicious lion. Heh heh.)

As for Phun, he’s helping my other friends with the soundboards. Nong Knott seems to be quite proud of himself since he was able to handle everything all by himself without needing Art’s help. (Art was reading some manga the entire time, that bastard.) I’m happy for him but also for myself since I finally found a new sound engineer. Soon enough, we bid our goodbyes and go our separate ways.

I wave goodbye to all my friends before I split up with them and leave the school with Phun. The sky is dark and it’s a little chilly. But with Phun right next to me, it doesn’t feel as cold as when I walk alone.

“So, you sang well. Heh heh.” I begin to tease him and his face goes red. I guess that people have been teasing him ever since he left the stage.

“Can you not rub it in? I already know that I suck at singingggg!” He makes a fuss like a small child. Hahaha, this is funny. I didn’t even say anything bad yet. I laugh even more now that I can see how he really was not confident in himself. I suppose he was actually made fun a whole lot.

“I didn’t even say anything bad yet. It was great and I loved it…” I tell him this but I’m the one feeling weird about it. Does this feel like I’m trying to tell Phun something though? I don’t know either. I just know that I can’t face him now that I’ve said what I said.

“Really? You loved it?”

“Yeah…”

“You sure…?”

“Yeahhhhh!” Quit asking me about it already! I could barely stop myself from smiling while I watched you on the stage.

We stay quiet and allow the sound of cars racing by to fill the void. I drag my feet along the street while keeping my head down. All of a sudden, my hand feels warm.

I turn to see that Phun briefly smiles at me before he turns his attention back to the main road. We gently hold each other’s hand in silence. This is the first time we’ve ever gotten to do something like this.

“Noh…” Phun calls out my name and I snap out of my reverie. He stops walking and faces me.

His stares are still. It is as if what he’s about to say to me is of utmost importance.

I watch as Phun takes a deep breath and I can feel that he tightens his grip on my hand. It seems like his lips are moving ever so slowly when he proceeds to speak. “I’m ready now…to learn about the truth…all of them.” Phun brings up something I had nearly forgotten about.

His eyes seem serious, yet gentle at the same time. “Noh, you’ll be there when the time comes? Won’t you?”

I will always be by Phun’s side, no matter the circumstances.

“I’ll be there for you.”