CHAPTER 60: PROLOGUE
LOVE SICK : The Chaotic Lives of Blue Shorts Guys
All the terrible things (for me, at least) are finally behind us. Our lives has become peacefulâ¦for a couple of days. Those couple of days have been utterly wonderful and simply calming. You know how the sky is crystal clear right before a storm? And then said storm catches you complete off guard? Itâs exactly like that. Weâve been unaware of the calm before the storm. No, itâs worse than a storm.
Itâs Hurricane Finals
Well, Iâm fucked. Seriously, just shoot me now (because Ma and Pa will kill me anyway when my grades are out). Y____Y How do I know my fate already? I know because I sleep all day every day. I play my PSP when the teachers give lectures. I play DotA when I get home. I copy Kengâs homework in the morning. So what exactly am I supposed to use during my exams when my brain is completely void of any educational knowledge? Once I get a chance to figure all out this out, I decide to pack my bag so I can sleepover at Dr. Whaenâs house in order toâ¦play Dota with Om. No, wait! I mean, in order to study! (Ah, I let it slip.) At any rate, thereâs no way Om and I would be able to learn anything on our own. In the end, we call Keng, Palm, Pong and Rodkeng (who still has some brain cells left in his head), to come over for tutor sessions. But when Dong, Ken and Em found out, they asked if they could come to get some scrapsâ¦I mean some knowledge too. (I didnât mean to use that word, Iâm seriousâ¦maybe.)
And thus, the national level tutor session begins! (Okay, take it down a notch.) I lie down on my belly while I take notes about the important parts. I read those back aloud at the same time to the guys. It gets confusing off and on. Not even off and on, actually. Everything is confusing from the start to now, to be honest. These invited tutors are the worst. Thereâs no cohesion to the way they review things whatsoever. Seriously, are you actually in the same class?! All they do is go into these long arguments on electric potential tension, electrochemical cells and electrical circuits or some shit. Will I ever understand these damn concepts?! Letâs just study something else! We decide to put away out Physics book (because no one can agree on whoâs right and wrong) and switch to Biology instead. Butâ¦it makes no difference. Keng and Palm insist on having another face off like before. When Keng says something, Palm interrupts. When Palm points something out, Keng interjects with something else. The ones that pay the price are the listeners. Weâre pretty much confused and dumbfounded by the whole thing. All we can do is let those two have it out while we watch helplessly. But then, my cell phone rings and I see a name Iâm too familiar with on the screen.
Phun Phumipat! Final answer!
It canât be helped, heâs calling right when weâre in trouble so this is on him, hahaha. Phun is smart, as expected of someone whoâs in the gifted class. Sure, he often runs around doing silly things with me but I think he probably pays attention during his classes since his scores are always high and Iâm secretly jealous of that. At any rate, Phun is calling to borrow my Nirvanaâs first album. He knows that I own one. (Itâs a rarity, lemme tell you. But heâs still in the mood to listen to music when itâs this close to our finals? How chill is he?) The problem, though, is that Iâm not at home. But more importantly, a little quid pro quo must be involved. Heh heh heh.
Thus, the intensive tutor sessions by poor Phun Phumipat begin. Itâs unfortunate that he has us as his students. No, seriously. Itâs really pitiful. Iâm stressed out for him, especially when Om asks about Euler. He wants to know who that guy is and where he lives so that he could go smack Eulerâs father in the headâ¦for coming up with that graph theory. (Heâs kinda dead, you bastard!) I canât believe Om came up with that. Wellâ¦smack them for me too because I also hate them. -_-
In the end, Phun ends up spending 3 nights and 2 days at Dr. Whaenâs house (like itâs a camping trip). We all feel like such burdens but Phun keeps saying that itâs all good and that this is a way for him to review things for himself too anyway. Since Iâm normally a considerate person, I ask him to just tutor us in Physics after we finish up with Math. (Haâ¦)
And of course, after such extensive tutor sessionsâ¦
â¦I was still completely clueless during my exams. -_-ââ¦
Ugh! What do these teachers want from me?! Damn it. I mean, Phun did give the questions thatâd be on the tests and I recognized them. Itâs justâ¦I wasnât entirely focused when he was tutoring us. The air conditioner at Dr. Whaenâs house was so nice and cool, what was I supposed to do? Not to mention how Auntie Pen (sheâs the maid there) spoiled us with soda, snacks, fruits and all kinds of yummy things. Letâs just say that 60 % of my concentration was on the can of Prinkles, 20% on rice skin dumplings, 10% on glasses of Coke and the last 10% was on the textbooks, hahaha. I wonder if Iâll end up eating a big fat hard boiled egg when my grades are out. -_-
At any rate, itâs all in the past now and thereâs nothing I can do about it (seriously? T____T) because our summer vacation is finally here. =D Right at the start of our vacation, we decided to go to the beach! Om, Keng, Rodkeng, Pong, Em, Dong, Palm and I went to Ko Chang for 4 days and 3 nights. We came back really tanned. (Especially Om, heâs the darkest among us.) Something really spooky happened too, but I wonât tell you guys. (Itâs a secret.) Although, this summer vacation isnât all fun and gamesâ¦due to our school forcing all high school students to take summer classes from March to April. Wah. T___T Theyâre too cruel.
Still, thereâs that Pharma-Camp which will cheer us up a little, hehehe. I hope thereâd be cute girls there as eye candies just as Om spoke of.
The Pharmaceutical major students had asked us to show up ungodly early in the morning. And I really mean early. They wanted us to show up at the Bangkok Railway Station at 7 in the morning. Ugh. I thought I was going to lose it. Itâs summer vacation, so 7 in the morning is when I go to sleep. -_- Luckily, Phun knew better and called me even before the roosters were up. Otherwise, certain someone wouldâve missed that train for sure. Certain someone may have been a little too excited to play with his new Wii that he stayed up until 4 amâ¦so forget actually waking up when he was supposed to on his own. I think back to myself while I clumsily exit my cab since I was pretty much nodding off and on the entire ride. (Plus, the traffic was awful.)
I stumble my way to the entrance where Phun said weâd meet up. The handsome jerk is standing there with a huge grin on his face. I guess heâs cheering me on and hope that Iâd get to where he is in one piece. Honestly, it feels like Iâm walking around with my eyes closed right now. -_-
âStayed up late, didnât ya? See? I told you to sleep early.â
âI didnât stay up late, I justâ¦slept late.â Shit, Iâm not wrong though, am I? Whyâd you smack me in the head?! I rub the spot where I was hit, feeling slightly irritated but also dizzy (because Iâm not fully awake yet). Meanwhile, Phun drags me by the arm and we head inside the train station.
Just as weâre about to walk through the entrance, Om blocks us. Thereâs a panic expression on his face.
âYo, Phun!â And he didnât even say hi to me! Heâs calling Phunâs name instead?! Iâm waking up now.
âWhatâs up?â I donât know if Iâm imagining this but even though Phun sounds perfectly polite, thereâs a slight instigation tone to his voice.
I stare at the two with my eyes blinking rapidly. Finally, Om shows his teeth at the student council secretary whom he owes so much to (you know, the finals thing.)
âYou! Didnât you say weâd be going to the Pharma-Camp?! So what the hell is this?!â
âWhatâs happening?â Itâs my turn to ask a question, I canât help butting in. Arenât we going to the Pharma-Camp?
Om shoots me an annoyed look before he replies. âItâs an afforestation camping trip! Phun! Explain!â Now Om is grabbing Phun by his shirt.
The student council secretary chuckles to himself before he gives his answer. âAnd which faculty is running this camp, Om?â
âPharmaceuticals.â
âSo was I wrong to tell you that itâs a Pharma-Camp? Theyâre running the camp, but I never specifically said that the camp is for those that wanna study pharmaceuticals.â Wow. You bastardddddddd! You tricked us! Om and I both hang our mouths open. It feels as though our dreams have been crushed. No girls would want to hike around and plant trees! This sucks!
Om and I have the exact same expression, that we want to go home right now, but Phun refuses to let that happen as he pushes both of us inside.
âAh, come on. Just go. Itâll be fun. Why do you wanna go to a real Pharma-Camp anyway? Itâs not like youâre interested in that, right? An afforestation camp is way better, weâll actually get to do something useful.â Itâs so nice of you to speak for us like this. Om and I frown at Phunâs overly confidence that things will be great. I guess it couldnât be helped since weâre already here. Iâll get you back for this later!
In the end, here we are. I give the female seniors who are waiting to welcome us an embarrassed smile. Thereâs a banner with âAfforestation Camp by Faculty of Paramedical from xxx Universityâ written on it. Damn you, Phun, damn you. How could you trick me like this?!
But it seems Om is no longer disappointed by this outcome. Heâs sending sweet smiles to a pretty senior whoâs checking us in.
âWhat are your names?â
âItâs Om, what about you?â Watch it!
The pretty senior smiles widely. (and if I may, Iâm in a dream-like state along with Om too. Sheâs so cute! Does Phun have something stuck in his throat or something? He keeps clearing his throat.) Then, she answers his question in the most pleasant tone. âI meantâ¦the name you used to register. What was it? That way I can find the correct name tag for you.â Fail! Om just got owned. Ahahaha! I burst out laughing in glee as he stomps on my foot in a swift. Ouch! That hurts, you fuck!
Eventually, we weasel our way into learning her name. (Her name is pâLiew. Her name is beautiful and so is she. Om and I nearly broke our ribs elbowing each other.) Finally, we finish signing in and receive our name tags. Thatâs when we learn thatâ¦
All three tags are in different colors?
What the heck?
Om, Phun and I look at one another in bewilderment. My name tag says âNâNohâ in red. Phunâs is in bright yellow. But the best one has to be Omâs as his is pretty in pink. Ahahahaha!
But before Om can make a huge fuss over this, a group of co-ed seniors jump in front of us at lightning speed. Ah! You startled me! I hang my mouth open as I watch those college students proceed to sing at the top of their lungs as though theyâve forgotten that itâsâ¦7 in the morning right now!
Do you guys usually get up this early to sing and dance?!
Om, Phun and I canât seem to stop blinking as the welcoming committee forms a circle around us. Theyâre singing and dancing like crazy. (Are you all possessedâ¦?) How do you expect innocent kids like us to reactâ¦other than standing still and be completely mute while allowing them to go nuts as they please? (Just let us go when youâre done, please. Y____Y)
Apparently I was sorely mistaken about standing still and simply watching them. After the loud singing and dancing, a woman from the group shoves a microphone at Phunâs face and sings out a question ever so loudly.
âWhatâs your name? Whatâs your nameeeee?â Thereâs a name tag hanging around his neck though? -_-â I start cackling up at the sight of Phun flinching as if heâs seeing a ghost. Heâs even sweating bullets and itâs only 7 in the morning. This is hilarious! Itâs really funny watching beads of sweat being formed on Phunâs forehead. How lucky am I to get a chance to witness Phun Phumipat, the guy who can do it all, being put on the spot like this? Hahaha. âUhâ¦my name is Phun.â
What is with the scream?! We wince a bit before they continue with the song. âYour name is Phun! Your name is Phun! You must dance like this! You must dance like this! You must dance like this!â What is that dance?! Ahahahaha! I lose it when I see a male senior jump out and start to move his hip to the right then smacking it twice. Hahahahaha. Phun looks scared but heâs too afraid to go against them. (Right now, a ton of seniors are around us, youâd think weâre being beat up if you donât look close enough.) In the end, this capable Phun Phumipat shyly swings his hip to the right and hits his butt twice like in that âShape Baâ music video by Apaporn. Ahahahahha, I wish I had been recording this!
And of course, it is Omâs turn now. Iâm laughing even harder when heâs being told to drag his limbs and walk around the station like a zombie. Think of the innocent bystanders! A grandmother nearby flinches so hard when Om walks up to her. Ahahaha! Thatâs just too much!
Even though Iâm laughing, it doesnât mean Iâm off the hook. After laughing my ass off at these guys, this madness is coming my way. Y____Y
âWhatâs your name? Whatâs your nameeeee?â There she goes. What do I do now?
âNâ¦Noh.â More screams. -_-â So you scream for everyone, is that it? (Did you swallow a whistle by accident earlier this morning?) All I can do is give them an embarrassed smile while bracing myself for whatever ridiculous things theyâll tell me to do. âYour name is Noh! Your name is Noh! You must dance like this! You must dance like this! You must dance like this!â What the heck is that?! I hang my mouth open as the senior from before (who came up with the absurd moves for Phun and Om earlier) wants me to mimic his moves where heâ¦sticks his hand under his armpit then sniffs it. Iâm about to go insane here. I didnât even put on deodorant this morning and my armpits are like the amazon jungle. He canât be serious!
I look at them with my pleading eyes, thinking that they might be lenient on me. But nope. Everyone is still hitting those drums and shaking those tambourines to get me to do it. Wah, wah, wah. This is too cruel. Fine, Iâll do it! Ugh! Gross! This is so nasty, why does it smell so bad?!
After everybody gets a chance to say hello (in the the most brutal ways Y___Y), weâre left alone by ourselves as a new group of campers arrived. Look at that! Way to abandon me! Where do I go and wait now?
âPhun! Noh! Om! Over here!â Ah, so thatâs where the rest of my friends are. I turn to wave at Pong, Joke and Nant who probably got here earlier than we did but kept quiet because they wanted to watch what we had to go through. Youâre saving those moments to make fun of us later, arenât you?!
âWhat the hell were you doing sniffing your pits at 7 in the morning? That was so nasty, I thought I was gonna barf.â Fucker, I knew it! Donât rub it in! I point my finger at young master Pong as a warning. Joke is laughing heartily in the background.
âPong, what you had to do wasnât that much better than what Noh had to do though. You had to grab your crotch and danced around the station like Micheal Jackson after all. Haha.â Ahahahaha! For real?! Good thing I got here later than him, I wouldnât want that image to haunt me at night.
I get up close and laugh at his face (I donât even know if I brushed my teeth well enough) before Om reaches over and caresses Pongâs big butt. The owner of said butt jumps in a panic. âWhat the fuck, Om?!â
âI just wanted to know how well you can move your hips. Ahahahaha.â
Smack!
âFuck you, I ainât nong Mick! Asshole! Go put your damn bags there. They said everyone can help carry them onto the train before it depart.â Hahaha, serves you right. Iâm laughing but Iâm forgetting the fact that Om doesnât really care what people think anyway. He shrugs before he throws his backpack into the same pile as young master Pongâs rolling luggage. (Jeez, Pong, Weâre going out of town, not out of the country. This is kind of excessive and scary.)
âOh, yeah! How come almost all of our name tags are in different colors?! Only Nant and yours are the same color.â Despite being happy with red and not getting Omâs pretty in pink, Iâm still curious. I grab my red name tag and place it next to Pongâs and Nantâs which are purple. This is rather puzzling.
âOh, this thing?â Joke begins his explanation. âThey said itâs like how we divide into teams of different colors for Sports Day. So when we play games, work or doing other recreational activities, weâre actually competing with each other. I guess theyâre doing this because they noticed that weâre all from the same school so they split us up. Only Nant and Pong share the same color. But weâre still waiting for the rest of the guys from our school to show up. Not everyone is here yet.â Oh, yeah. My friends arenât even here yet.
âOh, right! What about Dong and Palm?! That bastard Palm is running late again, isnât he?â I quickly turn to ask Pong once I realize this. However, it was a total waste of breath considering how someone like Palm doesnât show up to class unless the gates are already closing. Itâs like he has this need of being forced to climb over the fence to get inside the school instead of just walking through the gate like normal people. I canât help but wonder if he isnât sick and tired of doing a 4 x 100 metre sprint from the harbor every day?
Pong takes this opportunity to rag on his friend. âYeah. Palm told me he woke up late. Heâs on his way. Dong isnât coming though, he said that heâs busy with something but I donât know what.â Eh? I see. Itâs a little disappointing since I was looking forward to going on this trip with a ton of friends. Omâs laughter interrupts my thoughts. âHeâs probably afraid that they wonât let him smoke, haha.â Damn, way to talk shit about him. He quit a while ago! I turn to smack Om once for running his mouth off. Then, I remember that Film is supposed to be here too.
âOh, what about Film? How come he isnât here yet? Did he call you?â It seems the one with the answers this time is Om. Heâs nodding his head.
âYeah, he did. He canât go either because Art is sick. He has to go to that thank you party with that head committee auntie. Ahahaha, serves him right!â Hahaha! I agree! Serves him right! But this means thereâs even less people from our school now though.
I let out a sigh. Iâm bummed. As I look around the crowded train station filled with campers waiting for the train, I notice that there are a lot more girls here than I originally thought. When we learned that this is actually an afforestation camp, our dream of going on a camping trip with cute girls went away in the blink of an eye. But now that I take a look, half the group are actually girls. I guess this is why Om is in a better mood now. He has since stopped nagging at Phun like how he was earlier.
The guys from Phunâs class and my class chat and joke around with one another. Joke brought his guitar but left his tuner at home so he asks me to help out since Iâm the president of the music club (what does that have to do with this?). However, itâs been a long while since Iâve done this myself (and I donât have a tuner with me either), so I am a bit stumped. I keep making it sound weird to the point where Om smacks my head and tunes it instead. He accuses me of ruining the music clubâs good name too. Well, I normally use a tuner! You bastard! (Anyway, how come Om is so good at this? Curse him and his perfect pitch ears. I canât deny that heâs really talented.) In the end, I become the ugly stepchild that no one wants because Iâm useless to them. All I can do is watch as Om tunes the 6 strings on that guitar with hands on my hip.
As I find something else to look at, my eyes spot a big group of girls. (Theyâre mouth-watering cute, itâs insane.) Theyâre all light-skinned and pretty. The thing is though, they look awfully familiar. I begin to wonder if theyâre from the convent near my school.
And slowly, I get my answers. Iâm sure I recognize one of the girls there. Sheâs sitting near where the luggage are and it seems sheâs not actively chatting with anybody. The girl turns and our eyes meet. She smiles at me.
Thatâs the girl from the conventâs music club, isnât she? Iâm trying really hard to recall her name but I canât and itâs starting to piss me off. Whatâs her name again? Itâs on the tip of my tongue. Beed? Need? Something like that? Ugh, I canât remember! But it definitely is the same girl.
Despite not being able to remember her name, Iâm still polite enough to give her a nod and smile back. Then, my eyes spot another familiar light-skinned girl. And this girl is a lot more familiar to me than that girl whose name I canât remember. Sheâs laughing with her group of friends.
I could never forget her cheerful expression and bright laughter.
âYuriâ¦â
âSo you finally saw her. Youâre even more blind than I first thought.â Om says. This must mean he has seen her a while ago. What about Phun?
I glance at Phun, thereâs a hint of alarm in my eyes. As usual, he has nothing but smiles for me. He raises one of his brows as though he wants to let me know that I shouldnât worry.
So, Iâm the last person to find outâ¦
I let out a long sigh because I donât know what else to do. âShould Iâ¦just go home?â
âWhat the fuck for? Do you hate her or something?â
I know Om doesnât actually think that I do. âNoâ¦but you know why. I just donât want to make things awkward for herâ¦â
âShe already saw you when you walked in. If she thought itâd be awkward then she wouldâve dragged her suitcase home by now, you dumbass.â You couldâve said that nicely, you asshole. I give Om a stare as he continues to work on the guitar. He seems not very bothered by this. I let out an even longer sigh.
âSighâ¦â
âJust act normal. You donât want Phun to worry again, do you?â Heâs right. I glance at Phun who is chatting with Joke and Nant not too far from us. Still, he turns to give me a smile occasionally. I know well enough that thereâs some uncertainty hidden behind those smiley eyes. Phun has been blaming himself for what happened between Yuri and me this entire time. I, on the other hand, would never place the blame on anyone else.
Sighâ¦
You lose 7 seconds of your life every time you sigh, I wonder how much time I have left. Sigh. (Again.) But it seems this camp refuses to let me die that quickly even though Iâve sighed for what seems to be the hundredth time so far as everyone in the entire station bursts into screams and shrieks.
Om (whoâs still tuning the guitar) and I flinch and turn to see whatâs happening. Biological and non-biological female seniors are squealing as if they found a new favorite toy. What the heck? I think to myself as I get on my tippy toes to see who or what is in the middle of that crowd.
Itâs Earn.
And heâs wearing a red name tag just like mine?