If You Need Me: Chapter 42

For the first time since I broke my own heart, I sleep like a damn baby. It helps that I get to spoon Wills all night long. I hated seeing her break down, but I wouldn’t trade getting to be the person to take care of her.

I’m up early for ice time with the guys, so I have a fruit and muffin platter delivered to the room, and I leave Wills sleeping in the massive bed. I kiss on the forehead, and she hums, but doesn’t move otherwise. Her eyes are still a little puffy from all the tears last night, but at least she’s getting sleep, which she needs.

She told me about her childhood. Good things and bad. She told me about how she feels in the office and why fake dating me was the only real choice. She also shared what she wanted out of a partner, and that she never thought she’d have love. My heart ached as she let me in, one piece, one story, one vulnerability revealed at a time. I was selfish and impatient. But from now on, I’ll be the man who puts her first in all things. Loving her is bigger than my fears, impulses, and dreams.

I make it to practice on time—barely. Tonight is our first exhibition game, and there’s no way I want to be stuck warming the bench. It isn’t until we’re off the ice that Ash asks me how things are going. He knows what’s up, in part because I texted him yesterday afternoon to bail on our evening yoga session with Hollis and Roman, but also because Hammer informed Shilpa that I took Wills out of the office yesterday.

Ash makes sure no one can hear him before he asks, “Does this mean you’re back together?”

“Uh, not yet, no.”

He frowns. “But you spent the night together?”

“Yeah. Nothing happened, though.” Other than temple kisses and the one I pressed to the back of her neck when she snuggled against me in bed, it was a PG night. “We’ll talk tonight. After the game. She needed to know she didn’t always have to be strong alone, and I wanted her to know I would hold her when she needed someone.”

He smiles and claps me on the shoulder. “Look at you, doing your best to show up for her.”

“I hope it works.”

“It will. She loves the way you love her. Shilps and I see it. Hemi is the strong one in most parts of her life, but falling in love is one of those things that doesn’t allow much room for control. That can be scary.”

After practice, I find messages from Wills thanking me for yesterday and this morning and a whole bunch of fingers-crossed emojis that I made it to practice on time. She has meetings this afternoon; otherwise, I’d be in her office, checking on her. I assure her I did and that I’ll see her tonight. Regardless of how rough the past few days have been, she won’t miss the first exhibition game of the season. Especially when we’re playing against New York, and Flip’s archnemesis, Connor Grace.

I’m feeling optimistic—not just about the game, but about me and Wills—as I suit up later that evening. We take the ice, and I scan New York’s bench. Kodiak Bowman is impossible to miss. Despite being young, he’s huge and imposing, and tonight he looks like he’s on edge. Or more on edge than usual. I’ve heard rumors that he still pukes before games. It’s hard to say if that’s bullshit or not.

“Is Grace missing?” I ask Palaniappa.

“Looks like it. You think he got traded?”

I shrug. “Dunno. Last I heard he was holding out until New York offered him more money.” At the end of last season, he became an unrestricted free agent. He didn’t like the deal New York offered, so he was sitting on it. I thought he would take it eventually, but maybe he didn’t.

Madden and Stiles take the ice, along with the rest of the starting lineup. We gain control of the puck right away and score a goal within the first five minutes of play. It doesn’t matter that New York has the league’s star player in their lineup; Bowman is off his game, and that gives us the advantage.

We wipe the ice with their asses, beating New York 5-1. It’s a rough loss for them, and not a great way to start their preseason. When we hit the locker room, Hammerstein is feeling good about the near shutout, and Madden is practically floating on the high of scoring three goals. Stiles is all smiles over his two assists, as are Hendrix and I over ours. It’s a hell of a preseason start.

I’m surprised when Flip suggests we go to the Watering Hole, once we’re showered and dressed. Usually on a night like this, he’d suggest a club. But lately he’s been more about low-key nights with the team. I want to ask Wills if she’s coming, but I don’t want to put pressure on her. I’ve done enough of that.

The girls are at their favorite table when we arrive, and I’m glad to see Wills is with them. She looks better. She’s smiling, and the puffiness around her eyes is gone.

That smile is directed at me, real and genuine, when she sees us headed their way. The girls slide out of the booth, cheering and clapping along with the staff.

“Oh shit,” Roman mutters. “Is that Tally?”

My gaze shifts briefly from Wills, and I fight to keep my eyebrows from climbing my forehead. “Uh, yeah. It appears that way.” Gone is the sweet little Tally who wore jeans and hoodies to games and dress pants and blouses to the Terror office for her internship. Tonight, she’s in a crop top and a leather jacket.

“Is she wearing makeup?” Roman asks.

“Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“At least she’s out with us and not at a keg party,” Flip mutters and heads for the girls.

Tristan skirts around me and heads straight for Rix. Hollis does the same with Hammer, but his greeting is more PG, because Roman is standing right here. Ash kisses Shilpa on the cheek. Wills takes a tentative step forward. Like magnets, we move toward each other, our smiles widening. When she’s close enough, she winds her arms around my waist and squeezes. I do the same and drop my head so I can breathe her in like the balm she is.

“Thank you for yesterday. It was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful.”

I lean back and brush her hair over her shoulders. “I’m sorry I had to go before you woke up.”

Her palms settle on my chest. “You couldn’t be late for practice.”

“I could have, but neither of us needed that.” I stroke the edge of her jaw. “And I felt you needed sleep more than you needed me waking you up just to tell you I had to go. But I didn’t like leaving you.”

She fingers the buttons on my shirt and adjusts my tie. “After we’re done celebrating the win, can we go back to your place and talk?”

“Absolutely. We can go whenever you’re ready.” I’ll leave now, if she wants to.

She pats my chest. “Celebrate the win with your teammates. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Me neither. Not ever again. Not unless you tell me to. And even then, I won’t go without a fight.” I dip down and kiss her perfect lips. “Can I get you a fun drink?”

“I could be persuaded.”

“I’ll be right back.” I reluctantly release her.

I step up next to Tristan at the bar as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. I glance at the screen.

“What’s Bowman texting you about?” Me, Flip, and Tristan all went to the Hockey Academy, and he and Kodiak Bowman kept in touch, despite him being a few years younger. We all saw the talent in that kid, and he’s proving to be one hell of a force on the ice.

“Dunno.” He opens the message, and his brow furrows. “Well, shit.”

“Everything okay?” I ask.

“Connor Grace wasn’t on the ice tonight because he was traded.”

“To what team?”

“Ours.”