Chapter 5 I'm a survivor!
Not Your Mate Anymore
It was the day of the annual alliance ball hosted by Green Forrest Pack. All packs that stand United
with Green Forrest will be in attendance, including Blue Moon Pack and now that Percy was alpha,
he was attending.
I woke up and remembered I slept with Max while Josey and Cj took over my bed. I looked at the
pillow fort and chuckled at my childish behavior.
Obviously Max would never take advantage of me, but I guess I just needed that extra precaution.
Max was up already as he wasn't in bed and as alpha he had to prepare for tonight's festivities. He
also has to do the welcoming of high ranking officials as they arrive before the ball to settle in to
their rooms.
When we were younger Max and I would run in our wolf forms to my lakeside manor where my
grandfather resides to play there as uncle
Deacon was all sorts of mood swings during the preparation of the annual ball. Twelve alphas
attend this ball so it can get nerve wrecking. Just like this piss of a hangover I seem to have.
Werewolf hangovers aren't crazy. One just feels a little sluggish and any kind of bright light would
need sunglasses throughout the day. I look to the bedside table on my side and see that Max left
me some painkillers, three bottles of water and his RayBan shades. He also left the windows open
but his blinds were still closed. A very thoughtful man... it's really a shame Elise didn't give him a
chance. She could've been really happy with him.
Had she gotten to know Max, she would've met me and we could've been great friends. Max never
asked me for financial assistance and I would've helped him. I often wonder how he was able to get
the pack out of trouble at such a young age but heâs had years of training to be alpha. I guess
reading financial statements was one of them. He knows how far my trust fund goes and he knows
I'd never say no of he was in trouble. Also, now that I'm not going to be the Luna of Blue Moon,
now that I'm part of Green Forrest Pack, I would be more than willing to get my pack out of trouble.
When I found out Percy was my mate, I started planning on how i was going to change the pack.
Renovate the houses even the omega houses.
I remember visiting Ralyn at her place and noticed how small it was. She just had a one room house
with a small bathroom that had a small shower fit for one and a toilet. I thought of building modern
flats like in the human territory for omegas that were close to the main pack house so they didn't
have to wake up early to walk to work. I also wanted to upgrade our reinforcements. Our weaponry.
Buy some businesses in human territory to make money for the pack so kids won't have to work
until they are much older.
I guess it's all a dream now. I left Blue Moon but maybe I could ask Max if I can make some changes
here. I hope he agrees. Josey, Gj and I need to register for school too. Max did mention how they
had way too many teenagers and classes were full which meant that we would have to attend
school on human territory. I will have to call my grandfather to ask about that. Maybe we can attend
the school my mother attended. Would be like getting to know her again.
I decide to wake up and shower. Before I could do that, I change his sheets because they smell like a
brewery and make his bed. I pick up all the bottles and throw them out.. once I was satisfied with
the look of the place, the maids can come in and clean without having to deal with the alcohol
stench. I opened up the blinds and balcony doors so the room can get more fresh air. I go into his
bathroom and hop in the shower. Once I'm dry I head into his closet. Since Max and I are pretend
love birds, I used his shower so I could make use of his shampoo and shower gel so I could smell
like him. I get out to dry myself and I walk into his closet to get a shirt to wear that strongly smells
like him. Then I make my way out of his room to my room to get some pants and sneakers before
heading down for breakfast. Josey and Cj were already awake arguing over something. I never
intervene because when I do they make me pick a side. Although I did notice my room was still a
mess. They better clean that up. I couldn't say it to them without breaking up their little sibling fight,
where they'll drag me in the middle and force me to pick a side.
Never ends well for me.
I rush into my closet and decide on some boots instead. Quickly pull my hair into a tight bun and
add on some hoop earrings. A little make up here and there so I don't look how I feel. Miserable
and hungover. My good girl perfume and I'm good to go. I'll keep hold of Max's sunglasses. Still
need âem.
I walk out of my closet to find maids in my room cleaning. I didn't like this...
See in my family, Male or female, you clean after yourself. You need to make your own bed. Nobody
makes the bed for you and that's my dad.
He drilled that into us and now I was going to do the same. The maids were almost done so I
couldn't have my siblings come clean now but I was going to give them a piece of my mind when I
see them.
I apologize profusely to the maids who tell me it's ok but I tell them it's really not. This goes on for
about 2minutes and I give up because I wasn't going to win with them. I walk out of my room to
notice maids were also cleaning Josey's room so I'm guessing everybody is down in the dining hall. I
walk down the stairs and into the hall to notice Josey sitting by her mates on Alpha Deacon's table. I
walk over there to give my uncle a kiss on the cheek. I give the twins a deadly glare and I smile at
Josey who's sitting in between the two. I mind link her reprimanding her about the state of my room
and how maids had to clean up after them. She bulged her eyes out and mouth âI'm sorryâ to me
and I just rolled my eyes. Across from the lovely trio is Elise which makes me wonder how my sister
is keeping it together. She turns to me and I mentally groan because I had no intention of ever
speaking to her.
"I don't think we've met. I'm Elise, Max's mate.â She says to me holding her hand out to shake.
"No. I have not had the pleasure. I finally get to put a face to the name. How far along are you?" I
say back to her. I did not acknowledge her hand or her statement on being Max's mate because she
rejected him and he accepted it. They broke the bond. There was a time and place to acknowledge
it. 1 don't like being petty unless I'm forced to be.
"I'm almost due. I didn't get your name... is it Sabina?" She asks smirking. Of course Bella would fill
her in, they are sisters after all.
This is that time. It was forced upon me. Roll out the petty carpet, I'm about to drag sis on it.
âIt's Sabrina but I see you and your sister tend to make similar mistakes." I say this eyeing her belly.
She frowns. I said I can be petty. Call me pettyna pett. I swim in my ocean of pettiness.
Round 2 for the heck of it!
âI don't know how this works so you'll have to help me out here" I say as I take a seat next to her.
"You are carrying the twins pupâ I point at Clayton and Chase. "Yet they have not initiated you as
their Luna and you sit here feeding yourself..." I say with pretend bored tone. She looks down,
ashamed?
Round 3 for Josey.
"_but you are not their mate. They are Josey's matesâ pointing at my sister who is sitting between
the two lookalikes.
Round 4 for my own enjoyment.
"They are to be my new brothers in law so does that automatically make me an aunt or ..?" I trail
off.. looking at the boys and then back at Elise. Pretending to be confused.
"There's also you being Max's mate. Although that doesn't count anymore because you rejected
him and he accepted it. Which would explain why you're seated here and not there, next to Max.
You can call him alpha now... heâs no longer your equal.â I say smiling at her.
"Well, let me make my way to the Luna seat. Thank you for warming up my chair last night.â I say
standing up but as I was about to walk away, Elise throws a comment.
âWe are all the same really. I hear you have a mate. You only want Max because he has more power
and is richer than the mate you left back home." She says to me. I turn around and make my way
back to her. I sit down and grab both her hands gently.
"No sweetie, I don't need Max's money when I have my own. I am a billionaire heiress if you need to
know but you are right about one thing, Max is more powerful. He is feared in this pack and around
the country. I won't lie, that is a very attractive trait on a man, besides his good looks and killer
bod." I say winking at my uncle. I turn to face Elise again with a serious face.
âMy mate is just like you, he chose power over the mate bond and ended up with the rogue alphas
spawn." I throw in there.
"He will be here shortly. I'm sure you'll both exchange some notes on your failed plans. It's a pity
really, you both could've been very powerful with your own mates but greed got the best of you.
Now my uncle's wish for his son to mate with me can come to fruition with you out of the pictureâ I
say. I stand up and pat her back as I make my way to Max.
He is looking at me in awe. Did he forget about our chat yesterday? Why was he so shocked? I
mean I did drag sis to filth but this was the plan. To stick together.
I won't lie, if I could pick my own mate it would be Max knowing what I know now. With all that I've
come to find out about Percy and now Elise. Max is all beastly and feared but he's really just a giant
teddy bear.
I walk to him and give him a kiss on the cheek while I ruffle his hair. I sit down and greet everyone
around me. Nicole can't stop grinning, Damon too but Tristan has his jaw on the floor. Guess he
wasn't expecting this. Bella is fuming next to him, I could tell because sheâs all red and a vein is
sticking out on her forehead. I ignored her and started a conversation with Nicole. She kept asking
me to help her during training and I agreed. She was a bad ass and I would be lying if I said I didn't
want to see her in action.
We all ate in silence until Max got a mind link as we all did, telling him of a pack that was arriving on
the land. He looks at me giving me those sad eyes and I knew it could only be Blue Moon.
"Kimberley, Blue Moon is here. I need to go welcome them and have Albert show them to their
rooms before they come down for breakfast.â Max tells me... I'm too nervous to say anything.
I knew they were coming but I didn't think it'd be so soon. My entire family relinquished our places
in that pack so they weren't part of us anymore. My father and Remi were now living in human
territory for the remainder of their lives but they would be here for the ball in uncle Deacon's honor.
Cj would not be beta anymore but we were ok just being normal pack members.
We still have the wealth and were regarded as family to the alpha. I guess that helps our social
standing and with me being Max's girl puts us at the top.
âGo with him Sabrina. Find the strength and stand by him. It is time to play your role too." Uncle
Deacon said. It made sense, to him I was his son's chosen mate. The girl who sat on the Luna's seat.
It would only make sense that I perform this task with him as any Luna would do. I nod my head to
him to show him I understood what he meant.
Max got up and held out his hand, I put my hand in his and got up too. We walked out of the dining
hall hand in hand as everyone quieted down due to shock. This was to show the pack that I was his,
he was claiming me as his in front of his pack. That I was his lady. His wolf had not surfaced so to
them it was as if his human side had decided to make me his.
When we got to the door 3 SUVs pulled up. First to get out was Alpha Charley and Luna Natalie.
They were shocked to see me here at the door to welcome them. I'm sure they thought I'd be in
human territory as the last time I saw the alpha, I told him I was visiting my grandfather.
âAlpha Charley. Luna." Max says as I smile at them and nod to show my acknowledgement.
"Max. You have grown into a fine young man. I see you have chosen a mate too." Alpha Charley says
to Max looking at me.
âThank you alpha. Luna, you still look beautiful as ever Natalie.â Max says smiling from ear to ear as
he shakes the alphas hand and gives Natalie a hug.
âI see you took after your father. Ever charming.â Luna jokes.
âSabrina, I'm so happy to see you. You look well and I have Max to thank for that. I was deeply
saddened to learn you would not be the next luna after we had formed such a close bond. I really
hope we can stay friends. I miss you dearly.â Natalie says pulling me in for a hug. I wanted to cry.
Really, but I had to close my eyes and breath. The luna and I would always spend time together
back at Blue Moon. After everyone found out I was Percy's mate, the luna took me under her wing
to train me in Luna ways. She would teach me how to cook Percy's favorite dishes and what my role
as a Luna would be. She was a friend of my mothers and before my mother died, she called Natalie
to keep an eye out for her children which made sense after she told me because she kept an eye on
us alright.
I pulled away from the hug and looked at her. "Oh luna I missed you too. I'm so happy you could
make it. Once you're rested from your long journey, let's have some tea and biscuits. I'd love to
catch up and fill you in on my front too.â I say to her..
"I'd love that Sabrina. You'll always be my little girl.â Luna said kissing my cheek. Going back to
stand by her mate. Max cleared his throat and looked at alpha Charley.
âAlbert will show you to your rooms. Please come in. Breakfast is served in the dining hall but if you
would prefer to dine in your rooms, please tell Albert.â Max said moving aside to let them in.
The first car drove away and the second one pulled up. And there he was that mate of mine. My gift
from the moon goddess, Percy. He was supposed to be my mate. We should be arriving together
being welcomed by Max and Elise if things went accordingly.
My tall handsome mate. Goddess he still looked good. His scent taking over my senses and I'm
entranced. I can try hate him all I want but he was still my mate and he looked very handsome in
ripped Jean's and a Metallica shirt.
Athena scoffed at this and rolled her eyes at me. She was going to lecture me about this I'm sure.
Percy locked eyes with me for a minute. He closed his door and walked up to me, clearly in a trance
like 1 was as his wolf eyes were out begging for Athena to show herself. Athena wouldn't budge.
Percy had forgotten to open the door for his chosen mate as he walked up to us. Max Squeezed my
hand as Percy stood in front of me, pulling me out of my trance I cleared my throat looking at him.
He seemed confused so I clearly had to remind him.
"Alpha, you seem to have forgotten your mate in the car.â I say smiling shyly even though I wanted
to jump up and down and throw a fist pump in the air at this. Childish I know but it just further
proved to me that this was nothing else than a business deal. He didn't love her.
His cheeks flushed and his eyes turned darker at my voice calling him alpha. Men!
He took a moment to collect himself as he turned around to find Ralyn opening her own door mad
as hell. She shot him a look that said âI will deal with you laterâ as Percy looked at her looking
unapologetic. Ralyn noticed his attitude and huffed as she walked ahead of Percy and stopped by
us.
"Welcome luna... welcome to Green Forrest Pack. Have you been here before?â Max asks snaking his
hand around my waist and I let him. We had to show a United front and that is what I'll do.
"No alpha May, it is my first time here. I've never attended a ball before too but i guess there's a first
time for everything. I also look forward to the rainy weather I'm told about. My alpha is in need of
an heir to complete the mating ritual and I'm told this is the best place to get the moons blessing."
She says looking at me before looking back at Max..
Max smiles.. We share a look as he squeezes my hand again to comfort me and then we face Percy
and his chosen mate.
"Ah yes. It rains an awful lot in this part of the country but there's a reason we hold our ball this time
of the year annually. See for the next few days, we experience some dry weather. It allows for our
guests to hike, hunt and see our land and the greenery it comes with. I'm sorry to say this Luna but
if its rain you are looking for, it's really bad timing.â Max says to her. I was confused because Max
said it was raining when Elise mated with the twins. If it's supposed to be dry during this time then
the moon really wanted Elise to carry that child.
No wonder Max was so upset. If it rained then that means they were truly blessed by the moon.
Ralyn looks at me. I look back at her smiling at this new revelation. Knowing very well that they have
not been blessed by the moon.
âHello alpha. Luna. Welcome to Green Forrest pack. Albert will show you to your rooms to settle in.
Breakfast is served in the dining hall but if you'd like, we could have Albert send the food to your
room.â I say looking at them. An idea forms in my head and I act on it before I have the chance to
stop myself. I turn around,
âAlbert...â I call out.. he comes out of the house.
"Yes ma'am?" He asks..
"Show the blue moon pack alpha and luna to their room. Have a bottle of champagne sent to their
room and some strawberries. They are newly mated and are hoping the moon will bless them with
rain. I want them to be relaxed and at ease.â I say to him. Percy looked shocked and so was Max.
"I really hope you get what you came here for, both of you. If it is the moons will, it will be done. I
wish you both the best.â I say to them.
Max and I move aside to let them in and before they could disappear, I had one last thing to say..
"Percy, I hope you can accept my rejection now that you're here. I'd very much like to move on with
my life." I say to him
"Seems to me you have already.â He points at Max.
"Unlike you, I don't wish to cause you any pain. It was excruciating and I wouldn't wish that pain on
my worst enemy" I say this looking at Ralyn. I look back at Percy who looks hurt after hearing of the
pain I endured because of his selfishness.
âI want to complete the mating ritual free of you.â I say to him calmly.
I nod at Albert seeing as Percy couldn't find his words and we turned around to welcome the beta
and gamma.
The third car pulled up. I wondered who Percy chose as his beta seeing as the only family of beta
blood was my family.
Aman to be around his forties walked out. He looked familiar but I couldn't remember from where
He walked around to open the door for his mate.
When the girl walked out I choked. How is Meghan his mate? She's only 18.
Wait...
Wasn't her mate one of the warriors killed in the rogue attacks?? She was mated. We had a
ceremony for them. Her little sister was my age, we were in the same classes. Cj did say the rogue
alpha picked a girl from our pack as his chosen mate. Could this be him? Why was he here. Lycans
don't do well with rogues.
"Max. I think this is the rogue alpha. That's Meghan, she had a mate. He was a warrior that was
killed in one of the rogue attacks.â I say to him. Max tries to sniff the air.
Mental face palm. Of course rogues have a scent. To confirm my suspicions he did smell like a rogue
and Max stiffened.
Like I said, Lycans don't do well with rogues. Wolves that openly stay in the woods and cause chaos.
No.
Lycans have no respect for wild dogs. Rogues don't clean their wolves after a kill or after they rape
the defenseless. Their wolves relish on that scent. When you become a rogue you lose that pack
scent and have only your scent to go with. Eventually that will fade too and you'll only be left with
the scent of the woods if you stay as a wolf and live your life as a wild dog. Most rogues leave their
packs to live in human territory as humans only turning into their wolves for a run now and then.
Then we have the wild dogs. The werewolves that live on no mans land and cause chaos. Kill. Steal.
Rape. Force into slavery. In rogue culture, the stronger the stench of blood on you, the more
powerful you are. It's really evil. When Lycans hunt on the red moon which comes every 3 years,
they hunt rogues in the wild. They despise rogues. For a rogue to enter a lycan pack, this old man
must have a death wish.
"Ahhhh Sabrinaaa. We meet again. Although the first time we met you were a little girl walking with
my Ralyn in the woods.â He says and then it clicked.
Ralyn, Josey and I would play hide and seek in the woods but the time I saw this rogue was when
Josey and I hid our scents and hid right behind the tree closest to Ralyn. She had no idea where we
were which made it even more fun.
This man walked up to her.. we didn't think much of it then but it makes sense now. They planned
all of this. Percy was just a pawn in their little game. What I don't understand is why tell me now?
What does he gain from me knowing about this? Does he think I'll run to Percy and break them up?
Or is he betting on the fact that I am now Max's chosen mate according to everyone and I pose no
threat to his causeâ... All I knew was that this man has piqued my interest and I was going to find out
his game plan.
"Alpha Max it is a pleasure to finally put a face to the name" rogue says..
"Rogues are not allowed on my territory. You will be driven back. Let's not waste each others time"
Max says taking my hand and leading me back into the house as Damon leads the rogue back to his
car.
"We have things to talk about you and I Max. Scarlett sends her regards from my dungeon.â He
shouts out.
It all happened so fast. One second Max was walking side by side with me and the next he had his
hands around the rogues neck.
"YOU DARE CALL ME BY MY NAME? YOU FILTHY ROGUE CALL ME BY MY NAME!?" Max shouts as
his hands tighten around the rogue alphas neck. The rogue struggles to breath as Max lifts him in
the air with his legs kicking around. This guy. Lycans are strong.. what was he thinking!?.
Max loosens his grip and throws the rogue on the ground. He turns to Damon and tells him to put
him in his dungeon. To chain him up head to toe in silver and that he will deal with him in an hour.
The rogues eyes bulged out. He clearly wasn't expecting Max to react this way.
âYou don't care that your mother is in my dungeon? Locked up like an animal?" The rogue alpha
asked out to Max. Mother? Max's mother was still alive?
"If anything, Scarlett is not in your dungeon but in your bed. I wouldn't be surprised to find out
sheâs the mastermind behind your grand plan to take over blue moon. You're not smart enough to
pull that off" Max spat out.
Max walked back to the rogue and stopped right in front of him and Damon.
"You tell my tell my mother I await her visit. It's been a decade.â Max says to the rogue. The rogue
alpha looks at Max confused.
âDon't play dumb with me, I could smell her on you. Mixed with all that stench. Mind link her and
tell her to come home Reginald. Tell her Maxxy boy misses her.â Max said with a calm expression. He
turns to walk away, and I turn to running to catch up with him.
Reginald? That was this rogues name? Maxxy boy? MAXXY BOY? I walk fast trying to match Max's
pace. Boy he needed to slow down.
"Maxxy boy?" I whisper yell to Max as we walk back in the house. He chuckles and stops to look at
me.
"That's what my mother called me. You were little moon to your mother and I was maxxy boy." I
looked at him stunned but then he starts to walk again and I have to catch up.
"She's weird like that. Said I was always in my wolf form as a pup and the only way to get through to
me was call me that. " he chuckles to himself lost in thought. Ok well that makes sense if he was a
house dog.
Max got his wolf very early in his life. Every wolf pup is different but for Max, he was a special case.
At 2 years old he shifted into his wolf and being a baby, he had no control over his wolf so he spent
most of his time in his wolf form. When he was 6 they had to call in a seer to weaken his wolf so he
could be human again and attend school like all the children. Having his wolf early on helped him a
lot. He got his strength at an early age which meant he had to start training at an early age, he was
taught how to hunt at an early age. Max was a living and breathing weapon. Uncle Deacon always
joked that Max was his secret weapon if all else fails but we knew it wasn't really a joke.
Max has great strength in him and he has never lost a fight. Except with me but I'm a special kind of
wolf, nobody knows why Josey and I are so powerful considering my mother was half wolf. Nobody
knows why we were born stronger than alpha blood when were half beta. It's still a mystery to us
but Josey and I promised each other that when we get older we would find out why we are the way
we are.
Cj is also a strong pup. He got his wolf at the age of 10. He was also a black wolf which shouldn't be
because only alpha born males get the black wolf. That was a mystery we as siblings promised to
solve. Yes, we had our work cut out for us but we were willing to do it. It meant finding out who we
are and it would help a lot if our wolves weren't so secretive.
Max decided to go for training after breakfast but I knew he was going to pay old Reginald a visit. I,
on the other hand decided to drive to my grandfather's with my siblings. We were driving to human
territory so by law we all were not allowed to drive in their eyes. Just a few more months and I'll be
allowed to drive in human land. Damon dropped us off and we said we'd call him when we wanted
to return back to the pack. My mother came running out the house to greet us. Tears already falling
down her face. Remi was always so emotional.
"Oh my beautiful babies. I'm glad to see you're all ok. Josey, I heard.â She said grabbing my sister
for another hug.
"Come on. Your grandfather is a little grumpy you have all been to Green Forrest and couldn't pay
him a visit." She says to us. That look of disappointment clear in her eyes. We all looked down in
shame. We just got lost in our lives really.
We walked into the house and I must say, my grandfather knows a thing or two about class
Even though the house belonged to me, we have all always seen it as my grandfathers house. He's
lived her for over a decade after I was born and even before when he and my nana moved back to
human territory. This is where they raised my mother.
Pictures of her and my nana where everywhere around the house. Not in a spooky way. Unlike
Max's pack, my grandfather believed if he can still use his limbs, he doesn't need that much help. So
there was no butler to welcome us and all the maids only come in the morning to clean the house
and leave before my grandfather is even up. The only thing I was sure he didn't do was the garden.
This place looked like it had a landscaper or two.
We ran into the house to the lounge area to give my grandfather many kisses and hugs. Begging for
forgiveness. We all knew he couldn't stay angry at us, he had a soft spot for us and always said my
nana will come down from the moon if he ever stayed grumpy at us to whip him into shape.
In his eyes you could tell that he missed my nana but he said because they couldn't mark each
other, the bond was never completed thus making it a little bit easier to live without her. Although
his heart would beg to differ.
We spent the morning with my grandfather but around noon we had my mother drive us to the
mall to shop for dresses for the ball later while she went school hunting for us. I told her to try her
best to get us into my mothers old school. She said it was a private school and they did things
differently. I had to remind her that my nana's last name before she married my grandfather meant
something to this town and wealth is a big deal to humans too. She promised to try her best.
It took Cj 10min to find a tux at Hugo Boss and shoes at salvatore ferragamo while my sister and I
took hours. Cj eventually grew tired of us and decided to go grab something to eat while we
continued to shop.
I opted for a red evening dress and black heels. My Josey chose a white greek goddess dress. She
looked amazing in it and I knew her mates were going to lose their shits when they see her. We paid
for our dresses and all the accessories, shoes and make up. After hours of shopping we headed out
to the food court to meet up with Cj. Found him playing video games while munching on some
fries. He was such a dorky human. My sister and I sat down and ordered cheeseburgers. We ate and
then requested an uber to take us home as mom was still busy with our school stuff.
The uber dropped us off and I went to my room. I decided to call Max and ask him to have Damon
pick up at 7pm, an hour before the ball was to commence. I had to arrive before then so I can stand
by Max's side the entire night. What I was most nervous about was seeing pack alphas dance with
their mates. Yes I would be dancing with Max, but Percy would be dancing with Ralyn.
The funny this is the minute I rejected Percy, my wolf quit whining for him. It's just been me the
whole time, crying for him. Athena was done with him. If she couldn't kill him then she wouldn't
acknowledge him. Weird I know but that was my wolf. A fierce queen.
"So are you" Athena said to me. Making her presence know in my head. "It was your idea to reject
our mate. Stick to it.â She said. I needed to remember that Athena was a part of me and I was a part
of her. If she was a fierce queen, so was I
It really was my idea to reject him. It was my idea to stick with Max. If I felt strong enough to come
up with this, I was strong enough to carry it out. My nana could do it, my mama could do it and so
can I. I will make a life for myself. Mated or not.