Chapter 49

Lauren's POV

We never know we take things for granted until the realization of losing it.

Thinking. A lot of thinking. That is how I passed the past week since I met Olivia in that parking lot. It's been an obnoxious time of overwhelming feelings and the drowning sadness.

The guilt of hiding a huge thing from Ethan is eating me from inside. It felt like I'm walking on a thin ice in constant fear. Is this what I imagined my life will be one day? No. Especially with him? Definitely not. But here I am.

I love Ethan insanely. I do. But I love my father just the same. Even after I knew his reality. The very next second someone knows about my father's betrayal, he will lose everything. Himself included.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and all I could only see is a version of myself that I hate profusely. A vulnerable woman who doesn't have enough guts to take a proper decision. A woman who is dumb enough to be played easily.

Self-loathe and thinking low of myself brought a memory from the past in front of me.

"Ow." I hissed when I accidentally cut my finger while chopping the vegetables.

"Are you okay?" I heard Ethan's worried voice before he stood in front of me, taking my hand to inspect the wound.

It was just a small cut but Ethan glared at me for a moment before pulling me towards the sink to stop the bleeding.

"I told you I'll cook tonight." He spoke and I sighed. Yes he did. But I wanted to help him and I guess, my plan backfired on me.

I'm so dumb sometimes. Not sometimes, but most of the time, I guess.

I wanted to help him and now see, where we ended up.

If only I was better at something but I just know only how to ruin things for worse.

Why am I like this. Will I ever do something without ruining something or showcasing my low IQ.  My mother was right about me.

Maybe if I just-

"You are doing it again, Lauren."

"What?" I asked him coming out of those dark thoughts.

"Blaming yourself for everything. It's just cooking. You don't have to be good at everything."

I stared at Ethan while he cleaned the cut on my finger.

"It's a basic thing, Ethan. Why can't I do a simple thing? I'm literally the dumbest person on the whole world. I am such a--"

"Don't you dare call my wife dumb."

"You know it's the truth." He applied the band-aid on my finger and held my good hand staring at me.

"It's not. I know my wife and she is very smart. She doubts herself if one thing goes wrong. She blames everything on herself. She needs words affirmation sometimes and I'm here for it. It's ok if you are not good at something now, Lauren. You will get better and can do it someday."

"I need word affirmation?" I frowned at him because I never knew I needed that. I mean I always loved when people appreciated me for something I did or people loved anything I do.

"Yes. You do. You don't realize it but you do. And I'm always here to do that."

I stared at the man in front of me and it makes me happy because he reads me like I'm his favourite book. He understands me. I can see his efforts to make me happy in everything I do.

When did I get this lucky...

"Next time you hate yourself for something or doubt yourself, remember my words."

I waited for him to continue and he did.

"You are hurting the woman I love, Lauren. And it hurts me."

It hurts me...

It hurts me...

It hurts me.

His words ran in my mind and the negative thoughts of self hatred faded away slowly. At least for now.

The confusion still existed but the courage to do something about it raised in me. Picking one between my father and Ethan is hard. The result of picking someone over the other can never be the answer.

At least it's not the solution for me.

***

I opened the door with determination but all my courage vanished in an instant when I saw Olivia standing beside Ethan while he sat in his seat. The determination from earlier was replaced with dread.

My eyes jumped between Ethan and Olivia and the dirty smirk on her lips confirmed my suspicion pushing me more into my overthinking.

"Ethan-"

"Here she is." Olivia cut me off before I could even say something.

"Listen to me, Ethan." I tried.

"You don't believe my words right? Just ask her." She spoke looking at me.

I waited and waited and waited for the reaction to come. I waited for him to look at me like he wants to murder me on spot. I waited for him to show his disappointment towards me. I waited but nothing came. After everything my father did and the way I still hadn't told him the truth even after knowing it, will justify his reaction.

When he looked up, my current situation worsened looking at his emotionless face. I'm familiar with his anger. I'm familiar with his rage. But when he hides his emotions, it makes me go mad. It reminds me of the early times of our marriage when he used to be closed off towards me. Looking at him right now made me travel back time into that part of our life where we were strangers to each other even when we were married.

"Ethan-"

"You really are something, Lauren. You know your father's dirty secret and you still stand here, in front of him." She spoke standing in between us facing him. "See....if it wasn't for me Ethan, you would have never seen this woman's true intentions." She spoke and after a moment of contemplation, Ethan pushed her aside to look at me.

"Is what she said true, Lauren?" He asked me standing in front of me.

"Ethan, just listen to me once. I can explain it-"

"Yes or no?"

"Ethan-"

"Answer me." He cut me off harshly and I had to answer him.

"Yes but-" I looked up to his face to only stare at the emptiness in his eyes and the emotionless tone of his, did nothing to give away what he is feeling inside.

"Why?"

"Ethan-"

"Don't, Lauren."

No.

No.

No...

This can't be happening.

He has to listen to me. He has to listen to my side of the story. He has to know that hiding my father's truth forever was never my intention. He just has to know.

"No. Please. I only got to know about everything recently, Ethan. I didn't know anything about this before. Please, believe me." I spoke stepping up towards him.

"You knew what your father did to mine and you still chose to stay silent, Lauren." He spoke and the tic in his jaw showed his anger.

"I- I just didn't know what to do, Ethan. I love you. Trust me I love you so much but I love my father too. I just didn't know what to do and-"

"What about me then? You were going to hide it from me? You could have said something to me, Lauren. You could have trusted me with this information. You are not the only one who loved. I loved you too."

He fired the words out and every letter of it burned my flesh like lava.

"Ethan-"

"Is this your way of loving, Lauren? If it is, then I don't think it's love."

My heartbeat paced listening to him and a crippling fear reared its ugly head pushing me towards the phase where my mother showed me how useless I am and how I can't do a single thing perfectly. And how good I'm at ruining even the best of the best things.

"Don't say that." I whispered looking away from him.

"No. I can't do this anymore. You kept a huge thing like this away from me, Lauren. And after knowing what your father did to mine, I can't even stand looking at you."

Crack...

I could hear the every crack of my heart that broke with his words.

That's it?

It's that easy for him.

He didn't even hesitate saying those words.

Hell is better than being here right now listening to his words.

How could he even say that...

What has happened to us?

What has happened to the man I loved...

The world without him didn't even look gray. It was pitch black. I don't know if I'm depended on him or I'm obsessed with him. But I just know that I can't be me if I'm not with him.

I just can't.

I was still lost in a bizarre world of utter darkness when I heard Ethan's words.

"Is that what you wanted me to say, Olivia?"

***

Ethan's POV

"Is that what you wanted me to say, Olivia?"

I watched as Olivia's smirk disappeared with her eyes jumping between us.

"W-What?" She stuttered not expecting the words that left my mouth earlier.

"Is that what you expected the situation to be when you said Lauren betrayed me?" I spoke taking a peek at equally shocked Lauren before facing Olivia.  "You are a planner, aren't you? You plan everything."

Olivia frowned for a moment contemplating her next move before standing straight.

"What are you talking about, Ethan?" She spoke as if she is completely in control of the situation but we both know she isn't.

She planned everything well but she didn't plan my reaction at all.

"You had everything sorted out from the start, But you didn't plan about my involvement in your little game, did you?" I spoke leaning my back on the desk, staring at Olivia.

I could still see Lauren with a frown, standing a bit far away from me. She looked like a deer caught in headlines. Lost and clueless.

"How?" Olivia finally spoke after moments of silence in the room. She has always been smart, she knew when to play a game and when to stop the game. She is a lizard who can change colours according to the situation. But there's a thin line between being smart and oversmart.

"You planned everything right, Olivia. Your plan was flawless. I'll give you that. But you under estimated my love for my wife. I'm obsessed with her and you think I wouldn't notice a change in her behaviour?"

I asked her and Olivia looked at Lauren for a moment before returning her eyes back to me. Her jaw clenched when she looked at Lauren and the jealousy spiked up in her eyes.

"When she denied saying anything to me, I did what I had to." I shrugged my shoulders and stood up straight.

"I checked the people who might give her a trouble and imagine my surprise when I got to know that she met you in the past week." I gave Olivia a tightlipped smile.

A peek at Lauren gave me how she is slowly catching up to evrything that has happened till now.

"But how did you know about her father's truth?" Olivia asked me as if she can't believe everything that is happening right now.

I took my phone that is residing on my desk before dialing a number and waiting for the other person to speak.

"Come in." I spoke and exactly three minutes later, the door to my office opened.

In this past three minutes while we waited for the person to come inside, Olivia was lost in her world.

Lauren was thinking deeply while still being curious of everything that is happening around her.

I, on the other hand, has only thing running in my brain.

The truth. Lauren's father betrayal. And my father's death.

The moment I got to know about this truth, it tore me apart. The betrayal was a huge blow on every thing I believed till now.

Every thing fell apart while I stood there staring at the empty wall. The empty wall which showed me bits and pieces of my whole childhood with my father and then came the worst part. My harsh treatment towards my mother. The way I treated her, the way I ignored her, the way I insulted her got to me at the end of the day. It made me want to kill someone or myself. I was on the verge of break down but the thought of something stopped me from going on a crazy spree. Or rather someone. Lauren.

The door opened and in walked a man. Olivia widened her eyes in shock and Lauren is equally surprised looking at the newcomer.

"Austin?" Lauren whispered when he stood across Olivia.

"The one and only." He spoke giving Lauren a short smile and pushing his hair away which fell on his forehead.

"Austin, what is this?" Olivia threw daggers at him with her eyes.

"It is what it is." He shrugged his shoulders not giving a care at the way Olivia is gritting her teeth right now.

"You didn't plan this now, did you?" I spoke again crossing my arms across my chest.

"What the hell is happening here?" Olivia closed her eyes trying to control her rage but nothing is hiding her emotions anymore.

"Let me tell you. The reason you trusted Austin is also the reason why he betrayed you." I spoke giving her a small smile and Olivia thought about my answer for a moment before realization settled in, multiplying her rage even more.

Lauren is the reason for him to team up with Olivia and she is also the reason why he changed the teams in the last minute.

"I agree I had feelings for Lauren. I thought what I felt for her was love. Maybe it is or maybe it's not. I was in your team before because of Lauren. Because somewhere along the way, I felt that Ethan didn't deserve her. I thought it was very unfair for Lauren that she loves him too much while he does nothing. And when you told me about their arranged marriage, I was sure that they weren't made for each other."

Austin spoke after staring at Lauren for a moment before looking at Olivia.

"That was what I thought till I saw the way she looked so lost when I saw her three days back in the office. I know her father's truth will hurt her but I didn't expect her to be so broken at the truth. But what changed my mind about my assumption of their loveless marriage was that she is heartbroken for her father's truth but she is also equally scared of the fact that this will completely ruin her marriage. That she will never have Ethan again because of this truth. The fear in her eyes that she might just lose Ethan once and for all spoke everything I needed to know."

Lauren looked at Austin while her eyes returned to mine for a splitting second to gauge my reaction.

"Lauren will never be mine, Olivia, even if Ethan leaves her. She will only love Ethan and him alone no matter what he does. I hate that she has so much admiration for him even when he does nothing. Her eyes only search for him even if I stand right in front of her. Maybe I was too blinded with my obsession to make her mine that I didn't care for her feelings. If I did, then I would have seen that Ethan loves her equally, if not more. When I saw her lifeless eyes three days back, it changed my mind."

"I was wrong, they are perfect for each other and I'm sure I will hate myself forever if Lauren gets hurt because of me. And your plan will certainly hurt Lauren. And that was why, I met Mr. Kingston to tell him about your plan."

Olivia was too stunned to even speak but her surprise soon turned into rage.

"Wow... you all play for same team. Don't you?"

"I lost the game. I lost it." she choked the words out before a laugh erupted from her mouth. It was a crazy laugh which showed how she is losing herself now that something didn't go like she wanted.

She glared at us three for a moment, probably hoping to kill us with her eyes before storming out of my office.

Austin exhaled once she left the room and looked at me before his eyes fell on Lauren who stood opposite of me.

He walked towards her and I turned away to look at the buildings outside the office and the sky which was getting dark. It was a pretty sunset to look at if we are not surrounded among tall  corporate buildings and unwanted situations.

"I'm sorry, Lauren. For everything." I heard Austin speak and a moment later I could hear footsteps.

The sound of the door closing insighted me that Austin might have left leaving Lauren and I alone.

"You knew?"

Lauren spoke the words after a minute of silence where we are lost in our own worlds. Our worlds were once one but now it didn't feel same anymore. Truths, lies, secrets, misunderstandings developed separating our worlds that we once thought were one.

"I do." I spoke turning around to face her.

"Everything?" Her voice wavered asking the question and she looked away before I could even see her eyes.

"Yes." I answered shortly.

She stayed silent to let eveything sink in and a moment later, she finally opened her mouth.

"We need to talk..."

"We do."

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