Under an Endless Moon: Chapter 10

I pulled my restored Ford into the clearing. The rest of the family was already there, smiles on their faces, everything for our barbecue set in a pile behind River’s SUV. Theo and Kane’s bikes were parked to the right of it, and I pulled into the spot beside them. I hopped out and grabbed the cooler I’d packed from the bed of my truck.

“Yo, brother,” Kane shouted from where he, River, Charleigh, and Theo were chatting under the shade of a tree in the distance.

“What’s up?”

“Just waiting on your sorry ass,” Kane punted back.

River and Theo laughed, no one really minding.

All except for maybe my sweet little tot who came bounding my way. Nolan was growing too fast. It blew my mind the kid was already five.

“Uncle Otto, Uncle Otto! Sheesh, it’s about time you finally got here. I thought we were gonna have to leave you behind and you were gonna have to find your way all the way to the lake by yourself because we can’t be late.”

I set the cooler down so I could sweep him up and into my arms the second he was within reach.

Affection squeezed my chest. His cherub face shining all its glee. His tender spirit so damned sweet. The kid had me wrapped around every single one of his little fingers.

“Looks like I made it just in time,” I told him.

“Whew.” Nolan dragged the back of his hand across his brow, wiping up nonexistent sweat.

Except my skin was instantly slick with it when I caught sight of Raven. She was across the clearing, bent over and leaning into the rear of the SUV as she dug around for something, wearing a pair of black shorts that hugged her splendid ass in the best of ways.

Did my best to rip my attention away and not stand there ogling her like some kind of perverted asshole, but it was damned hard to look away.

She straightened as she turned around, slinging a reusable grocery bag over her shoulder. A grin spread across her gorgeous face when she saw me standing there.

“Thank God you’re here. We need all the hands we can get.”

I looked at the giant pile of shit that we needed to carry.

“At your service.” I ambled that way with Nolan still in my arms, kid wrestling around like he was trying to take me to the ground while my focus remained on Raven. She had on an oversized white tee with a unicorn printed on the front. The neck was stretched out and it draped over one shoulder, and she had the loose hem of it tucked into her shorts.

That buzz intensified the closer I got to her. “You think we have enough stuff for one afternoon?” I asked, arching a cynical brow.

She gave me an innocent look. “Don’t judge me, Otto.”

Couldn’t judge her. Not ever. Not when I sure as hell didn’t have the right.

A week had passed since I’d stepped out of Sanctum’s bounds. Wasn’t sure if I’d even really processed it yet. What I’d done or the consequences it might bring. The only thing I could do was press on. Act like nothing had changed when I knew I’d taken a sharp turn toward destruction. When I knew there was no way I could stop until it was finished.

“No judgement here. Just making sure you didn’t need me to run into town to grab something else.” I let the razzing wind into the words.

Nolan wiggled around to get in my line of sight. “Don’t worry, Uncle Otto. I helped my auntie pack everything we needed, and we got so many lots of things there’s no way we’re gonna starve.”

“Well then, it sounds like a picnic.”

I set him on his feet and he went running back for the rest. “Come on, guys! Our whole family is here except for Uncle Cash because he’s a really big grump, but that’s okay because I like him a lot anyway, and now we gotta go to the lake and eat the best food ever,” he shouted as he flew that way, a torrent of words spilling out of him nonstop.

They were all grins as they headed over to load themselves up with supplies. River had the portable grill and a bunch of bags, and Theo and Kane weighed themselves down with the rest.

I trudged back to where I’d left my cooler next to my truck, heaved it up, and started toward the narrow trail that ran through the woods toward our favorite spot by the lake.

It was tucked in a little cove where there was an actual beach plus a big area where wild grasses grew. Massive trees hugged the meadow, offering shade and making it extra beautiful, but it was a hard enough hike through the woods to get to it that there were never a whole lot of other people around.

We all started up the incline. We had to get to the top of a small hill and then back down on the other side to make it to the secluded spot. In two-point-five seconds, Raven was huffing behind me. “Guys, why can’t we just go to the beach that has an actual parking lot and picnic spots in front of it?”

“Because then there’d be a ton of assholes around us,” River grumbled.

“A little walk never hurt anyone,” Theo hollered from way up ahead.

“Speak for yourself, Theo. What kind of masochist goes on a hike for fun?” she tossed out as she clomped along behind me.

Funny since she was the one who always suggested it.

I supposed it was because once she complained enough, she didn’t have to keep up with the tromping through the woods. Because just like I always did, I stopped, leaned down, and muttered, “Hop on, darlin’.”

She giggled, but she didn’t hesitate, since at this point it was basically protocol. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck, and I straightened, balancing her and the cooler.

“Hey, no fair, you always get a piggyback ride, Auntie!” Nolan cried from where he trotted behind his mother up ahead.

“That’s only because your uncle Otto is putting us all out of our misery and stopping us from having to listen to your aunt Raven complain.” River tossed an annoyed look over his shoulder at his sister.

I could feel Raven’s smile at the side of my neck, could taste her breath, that sweet moonflower scent, and her words were whispered, meant only for me. “I think it’s just because Otto likes me most.”

I grunted and heaved us up the hill, not even able to deny it.

“What the hell is wrong with you, man? Are you trying to burn these burgers to a crisp? There are enough goddamn rocks around here without you making my lunch another of them.”

Couldn’t help but give River shit as he manned the grill. The asshole clearly didn’t understand the intricacies of barbecuing.

He sent me a scowl as he flipped a charred to fuck burger. “Not gonna have my family gettin’ sick off a burger if it isn’t cooked long enough.”

I gave him the most exaggerated lift of my brow. “Don’t you know your meat is supposed to be moist and full of flavor? Like biting into a ripe, juicy ass.”

River shook his head like he thought I was the most obnoxious guy around while Kane cracked up. “You do realize how wrong that sounds? I hope you aren’t actually taking chunks out of the women you somehow convince to climb into your bed?”

“My dear, poor, ignorant Kane. You can rest assured that anyone who climbs into my bed is not complaining.” I dramatically touched my chest, playing it up. “Only thing I do is leave them begging for more.”

Kane knew I’d never hurt a woman. Loved women. Respected the hell out of them, and I made sure to give them as much pleasure as they gave me. It ended there, though.

Tinkling laughter rolled through the fall air, and my attention immediately was drawn to where Raven was playing at the edge of the lake with Nolan and Charleigh. All three of them were barefoot and splashing around in the cool water.

“Auntie, Auntie, watch this one!” Nolan shouted as he jumped and splashed in the water. He had a giant rock that he tossed from the side like he thought he was going to skip it.

It was his favorite game at the lake, though he hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it, and the rock sank straight to the bottom.

Not a shocker that Raven gave him a giant high five. “That one was amazing! Did you see the big splash it made? I think it was the biggest one yet.”

Yeah, someone made a big splash, that was for sure.

“Sure, sure, you just keep telling yourself whatever you need to.” Kane’s razzing jolted me back to the conversation.

“Oh, what matters is what they tell me, brother,” I told him. “Maybe someday you’ll do it right and you’ll know what that’s like.”

I reached out and patted his shoulder in mock sympathy.

He flicked off my hand. “Fuck you, man. I always have them chanting my name.”

Theo grunted from where he sat lounged in a folding chair, nursing a beer. “Only the assholes who don’t know what they’re doing need to brag about it.”

Our conversation clipped off when Nolan suddenly came running up the shore toward us, flapping his hands over his head as he sang, “Is the food almost ready yet? I’m starving, so I gotta eat.”

“If your dad here wasn’t trying to burn the burgers, it would already be ready.” Couldn’t help but toss out the taunt.

River grunted before he turned a smile at his son. I wasn’t the only one the kid had completely smitten. “Yup, just finishing up. Why don’t you tell your mom and auntie that we’re about ready.”

“Yes!” He punched a fist in the air, and he gave me a high five as he blazed a path back toward where Raven and Charleigh were whispering something to each other, two of them always giggling and keeping secrets.

“Hey, hey, my best Mommy and Auntie!” Nolan shouted as he jumped, his blond hair bouncing in the wind, rallying the crowd. “Hurry up! It’s time to eat.”

Spinning again, he beelined for the big cooler that sat next to the portable picnic table we’d set up. “Uncle Otto, get over here and help me get everything because you know it’s really good to help out our family because family takes care of each other.”

Wasn’t about to argue with that.

A low chuckle rumbled free as I ambled his direction. He was on his knees, grunting as he tried to pry open the lid.

“Here, let me help.” I acted like it took a whole lot of effort to get it free.

“Woowee, Uncle Otto, that was a rough one, but I guess because you got the really big muscles, you got it.”

I ruffled a hand through his hair. “Don’t worry, Little Dude. Soon your muscles will be big enough, and you’ll be so strong that you’ll have to be careful not to rip the lid clean off.”

He giggled like mad. “Like the Hulk?” Then his blue eyes went wide as he curled up his nose. “Except I don’t want to be green.”

“Nah, you don’t have to be green.”

I helped him load everything from the cooler onto the table. Sliced tomatoes and onions and lettuce. Ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise. A fucking delicious looking potato salad.

I’d done up a fruit salad, and I went to my cooler to grab it. I was setting it onto the table just as Raven placed a hot dish that looked like some kind of casserole onto the table across from me.

She leaned over so she could reach an open spot. A lock of midnight hair caressed her sun-kissed cheek, and those inky eyes did desperate, stupid things to me when she angled her gaze up in my direction.

Fuck, wasn’t sure why I couldn’t keep it tamped of late. Why it felt like I was losing my damned mind anytime I was around her. But maybe I did know. Maybe it was because I couldn’t stop thinking about that time. Wounds ripped wide open. The truth that this vengeance wasn’t just for Haddie.

It was also for her.

She peeled the foil from the dish.

I sucked all the chaos down and forced a casual grin to my mouth. “Smells good.”

“Don’t get your hopes up too much. It was just something I threw together super-fast this morning.” Raven leaned farther across the table, her voice dropping to a secret. “But what you really should get your hopes up for is the chocolate cake I brought for dessert.”

A groan rumbled through my chest.

Fuck. She knew it was my favorite. I probably shouldn’t take so much pleasure in it.

“Don’t tease me, darlin’.”

“You eat your food like a good boy, and I might save you an extra piece.” She winked as she straightened, and I had to fist my hands to quell the smack of lust that slammed me.

Woman acting the tease as she strutted off to help River transfer the burgers from the grill to a platter.

Baby sister. Baby sister. Baby sister.

Yeah, chanting it didn’t do anything to make me feel like that designation was true.

Five minutes later, we’d all gathered at the table, filling our plates.

Everyone gave themselves over to the airy, relaxed mood. Was easy to put your cares behind you when your surroundings were like this.

The placid lake that barely rippled with the cool breeze that whispered through the trees. The laughter of the ones you held dearest babbling in your ear. Nolan on his knees next to me as he took a humungous bite out of his burger.

It left a glob of ketchup on his cheek.

“How is it?” I asked as I used a napkin to clean the mess off his face.

“Deeeeelicious.” He rubbed his belly.

“And here someone was questioning my cooking skills,” River grumbled from where he sat on the other side of Nolan.

“Well, Daddy-O, I have had better, but it would be rude manners if I said that you did a terrible job and it was burnt since you did so much work,” Nolan said, so nonchalant.

A howl of laughter ripped out of my chest, and River was laughing too as he curled an arm around his son and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Guess your poor dad had better stick to the things he’s good at.”

“Like loving me and Mommy so much?”

Adoration rolled out of my best friend. A fuckin’ landslide of it. He slung his other arm around Charleigh on his opposite side and gathered his little family tight. “That’s right. Like loving you both.”

“I have to say, you’re pretty good at it,” Charleigh said.

Swore, she cherished these two more than I’d ever seen anyone do before. She’d been separated from her son for so long, and getting to have him back in her life? She wasn’t about to waste a single second.

Nolan leaned around so he could look at her. “And you love me a whole lot, too, right, Mommy?”

“There aren’t words that have been created to express how much I love you, Nolan.”

The kid beamed, and I could feel the love rolling out of Raven as she looked at them from where she sat across from me.

Nolan took another giant bite of his burger, words garbled around it. “I got the best family in the whole world…so many uncles and my auntie and a mom and dad. I think I got really lucky and got a really big family. Gotta remember family is who you love most, and I love you all the most, so don’t you forget it.”

It was funny looking at my crew who were all hard as stone and vicious to their cores turn to mush.

But it was always the way Nolan had us. Mush. The kid an actualization of what we did. Proof that it was right and good.

Theo reached a fist across the table to bump it against Nolan’s. “That’s right. Family is who you love most. And this family will always take care of each other.”

Nolan fist-bumped him back. “You got that right, Uncle Theo.”

Kane reached out, too, mumbling, “No question about it, Little Dude. Family is who you love most.”

We’d started saying that years ago since most all our actual families were jacked. Fucked-up, appalling examples of what a family should be. We came to the swift conclusion that blood didn’t necessarily matter. It was about the loyalty you shared.

A rumble of agreement went up, but it was Raven peeking over at me that sent the blood thundering through my veins.

That gaze said too many things.

Her own promises and some kind of plea.

Every oath I had made spiraled through me.

Love. Protect. Never cause harm to the innocent.

But it was the one I’d made her brother that shouted loudest right then.

The one thing I had to remember most. To accept.

She deserved so much better than this life. So much better than what I had to offer.

My thoughts drifted to what still had to be done, and my stomach knotted in shame.

Guilt rising high as I sat here bumping fists like I wasn’t betraying every single one of them.