Chapter 365: Long Feiye, I missed you so much

Another night had passed in silence. The person on the bed didn’t wake, and the person by his side didn’t sleep. Someone once said that gaining something, only to lose it again, was nothing short of agony. But for Han Yunxi, it felt like she was losing something before she even had it.

In the beginning, she’d take Long Feiye’s pulse every two hours. Even now, her hand was resting persistently against his wrist, watching for any sign of changes within.

She was... afraid!

She might not be a doctor, but she’d seen her share of illnesses and read her share of medical texts. Long Feiye had neither woken up nor passed away. At this point, she was very clear that there was a possibility he’d be one of the living dead–in other words, a vegetable. Despite everything, she didn’t dare to entertain the notion. She didn’t even let Gu Beiyue inside, afraid that he’d make a diagnosis and announce the end of everything.

One of her hands held his, their fingers entwined together; the other rested against his pulse point on his wrist. She had sat by his bed in the exact same position for two days and two nights, almost turning into a statue herself. She always knew that she liked this man, but she never realized just how much she adored him. Perhaps she did now.

At this moment, she was still lost in her thoughts, feeling as if everything before her was a dream. Even for a dream, everything had come so suddenly! How she wished she could wake up soon, so she could open her window and look out to see Long Feiye’s sleeping quarters with its lamplight in the windows.

Abruptly, someone knocked on the door, shattering her daydream. Unfortunately, Long Feiye was still lying on the bed, as unchanged as before.

“Esteemed wangfei, it’s been two days. Please let this one take another look,” Gu Beiyue said, his voice gentle, if a little hoarse. He hadn’t recovered his health much either, but he’d spent the past two days sleepless like the rest.

Han Yunxi stared at Long Feiye without saying a word.

“Esteemed wangfei, you’ve studied medicine as well. You need to be clear in your heart on the matter.”

“Esteemed wangfei, His Highness’s pulse hasn’t changed from two days ago, correct? He’s already past the point of danger, so let this one come in for an examination.”

Gu Beiyue truly was cruel. His words were clearly pronouncing Long Feiye’s end to Han Yunxi. Han Yunxi lost the nerve to look at Long Feiye any longer. Her head drooped lower and lower as she remained mute.

“Esteemed wangfei, you’re half a doctor yourself. Please keep calm,” Gu Beiyue said again.

Han Yunxi bit her lip. She knew what Gu Beiyue meant by her being half a doctor herself. She should possess a doctor’s calm and logical mind. When faced with a case like this, there was no need to wait any longer. It’d only be a futile effort. But right now, she wasn’t just half a doctor, but Long Feiye’s wife! Lying by her side was the man she had loved for a very, very long time. How am I supposed to calm down? She’d already held back her tears, so what else did they want her to do?

She pulled Long Feiye’s hands to her lips, her entire form so still that not a living breath escaped. The whole world seemed to dim and darken with her. In the end, the noises from the door ceased, and the room fell silent once more.

The silence lasted for another whole day and night.

Time was the cruelest one of all.

Long Feiye, did you ever keep a tally? Have you counted how many steps Han Yunxi took towards you?

Long Feiye, do you know how much courage it took Han Yunxi to take even a single step? If you don’t wake up, where should Han Yunxi go?

Long Feiye, aren’t you even going to give Han Yunxi the chance to walk to your side?

—

Some time later, Han Yunxi parted her lips to speak.

“Your Highness, if you don’t wake up, aren’t you afraid that Yunxi...won’t want you anymore?”

Tears flowed soundlessly down her cheeks to splash against Long Feiye’s icy cold hands.

Yunxi is crying.

But when her hot tears landed once more in his palm, his hand trembled. It was the slightest of movements, but Han Yunxi noticed it immediately. She was caught between being stunned, flustered, thrilled, and nervous! Her heart beat wildly in her chest, filled with fear that she’d seen it wrongly. She was scared that a single careless movement from her would stop his movements forever. She forced herself to wait and watch.

A long time later, Long Feiye’s hand shook once again. Then his finger twitched. Han Yunxi made sure she hadn’t made a mistake before she went wild with joy. She even forgot to call Gu Beiyue in, but remained fixated on Long Feiye’s finger. This time, she waited for an even longer period of time, but the finger didn’t budge.

Instead, his eyelids did!

Long Feiye’s eyes fluttered open to see Han Yunxi sitting by his side, staring foolishly at his hands.

What’s...wrong with this woman?

He only felt that his head was extremely heavy and his chest ached. But his mind was clear enough. He remembered how he fainted after the black-robed man had stabbed him. Despite a dagger to the heart, he’d still survived. Did this woman save me? But her medical skills aren’t even equal to the imperial physicians at court. How long have I been unconscious? Have I delayed things in the disaster areas? Who brought this woman to the Hidden Pavilion? Does she know about the secret chamber yet?

Though he just woke up, thousands of thoughts were already streaming into Long Feiye’s head. He unconsciously knitted his brows to stare at Han Yunxi. Han Yunxi had no idea he’d woken up, but remained staring at his hand without moving. Like this, the two of them remained in their silent worlds for a time before Long Feiye spoke up.

“Han Yunxi, what are you doing?”

Han Yunxi’s head whipped up to meet his deep eyes. Although he was still weak, his pupils were as cold and sharp as always, as if they could see through tens of thousands of things. Very soon, he creased his brows again as his gaze turned complicated. That was because the woman looking at him now had obviously been crying. Her eyes were red and swollen like a poor little bunny.

Long Feiye abruptly sat up, ignoring the pain in his chest as he demanded in a stern voice, “What’s going on? Who bullied you?”

His fierce tone drove Han Yunxi back to her senses as the tears in her eyes finally spilled over. But she quickly wiped them away and smiled through her snot, a foolish smile that led to no words.

Long Feiye creased his brows even further. “What happened to you?”

Han Yunxi really wanted to cry, but she wanted to laugh as well! He’s awake! Really, truly awake! She knew he’d wake up–though she didn’t know why, she’d always persisted in believing.

“Han Yunxi, tell your lordship, just what’s wrong?” Long Feiye considered himself intelligent, but he could never understand this woman’s heart. What does she mean by smiling and crying at the same time?

Unexpectedly, Han Yunxi suddenly threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “Long Feiye, I missed you so much! I really, really missed you!”

Even though he’d been next to her this whole time while she was keeping watch, it felt like they’d been at the opposite ends of the Earth. That’s why I really miss you. Long Feiye allowed Han Yunxi to hold him as he stiffened. Nobody had ever hugged him before, not even his foster mother Grand Concubine Yi or his real mother. Nobody else had ever dared.

Han Yunxi buried her head into his neck, holding him tightly. She might turn up her nose at rules forbidding men and women from getting too close, but this was the first time she’d chosen to hug a man, let alone so tight! It was as if she feared he run away again. She was so happy, she even forgot that Long Feiye was still seriously injured!

Long Feiye allowed her to hug him without moving a muscle before he finally asked, “How long was I out?”

“Three days. I thought...I was afraid that...” Han Yunxi didn’t have the guts to finish, but only held on for dear life.

Long Feiye finally understood. His eyes flickered between complicated emotions and a hint of helplessness. Finally, he said mildly, “Can you let go of me now?”

Urk...

His tone was the same as always, cold and serious. Han Yunxi had gotten used to it, but this time it turned her numb. Her hands tightened before she immediately let him go. Only then did she say, “Alright.” She figured she must have been too impulsive. Taking a step like that seemed too much too forward. Her head drooped as her lips drew into a self-mocking lilt. She wanted to back away, but the sight of her pitiful figure made Long Feiye unable to resist his urge to pull her back into his arms to rest against his chest.

Although hugging like this pained his chest immensely, he endured it for her sake. Han Yunxi didn’t know what Long Feiye meant by the gesture. First he told her to let go, then he held her back again. She struggled to get up, causing Long Feiye to suck in a cold breath in pain.

“If you don’t want your lordship to die of pain, then stop struggling!”

Die of pain?

Han Yunxi grew alarmed. She finally remembered that he was still injured on his chest! Hugging like this would definitely touch the wound. Moreover, he was still half lying down in bed, and his arm movements could affect the injury as well! It’d be big trouble if his injury re-opened!

Damn it!

Han Yunxi wanted to slap herself. The poor and pitiful bunny suddenly turned stern. She all but ordered him, “Long Feiye, let go of me right now!”

“Don’t worry, your lordship won’t die,” Long Feiye’s tone was breezy in comparison.

Han Yunxi didn’t dare to struggle further, but tried to coax him instead. “You’re still in danger.”

“Did you save your lordship?” Long Feiye didn’t seem like he want to let go. Instead, he changed the topic.

He was more clear than anyone on the state of his own body. Even though his injury ached, the current situation wasn’t life-threatening. Judging by the position of the wound, he’d avoided death with difficulty. Whoever saved him must have had substantial skills.

“It wasn’t me, but Imperial Physician Gu. He helped you apply medicine while I stopped the bleeding afterwards. Fortunately, he came in time, otherwise I don’t know what could have happened,” Han Yunxi lay against Long Feiye, feeling his breath and warmth at last. She hadn’t had a chance to feel those sensations until now.

Gu Beiyue... Long Feiye was surprised, but he didn’t reveal his feelings. He could guess that Han Yunxi had summoned him here. Han Yunxi dearly wanted Long Feiye to let her go. Holding onto her was no solution to his wound, but she knew his stubbornness better than anyone else. She could only remain in place.

As long as he was alright, then anything was okay.

“Your Highness, who hurt you? How could they have injured you this much?” The problem that had plagued Gu Beiyue had plagued Han Yunxi in equal measure. Who could wound Long Feiye so severely?