Adapting to a New Normal

CALLUM

I stir awake to discover Ella and Tyler have already risen.

Tyler must have started his day early to fetch Tilly from the lay-by on the main road, just off our peaceful dirt road.

Yesterday was a shopping frenzy for Tilly.

We purchased an additional car seat, a crib for Ella’s room, and even toys we hadn’t considered buying for Ella yet, given she’s only three weeks old.

Tyler also secured another high chair that he’s collecting this morning.

I have a feeling I’ll be the one assembling it later.

The entire situation is peculiar and disconcerting, but it’s unfolding.

We simply have to adapt.

I trust Tyler; my instincts urge me to.

But now we have another child, in a way, who will be with us half the week, and I share Tyler’s worries.

We’re all going to grow attached to her.

When she’s taken away, it’s going to sting.

It’s going to sting like hell and leave a sour taste in our mouths.

But my primary concern is Ella. She’s going to get accustomed to having a sister who might just disappear one day.

We considered giving Tilly her own room, but she’s so young that we didn’t feel comfortable leaving her on a different floor while we all slept upstairs.

So, we decided to let her share Ella’s room.

Apparently, Tilly already sleeps in her own room at her mother’s house.

I find that unusual for a three-month-old.

We planned to have Ella in our room for at least six months or more.

I also find it odd that Sophie declined Tyler’s offer to pay for her to stay home from work.

What mother wouldn’t want more time at home with their child?

I understand that the work system in this country is tough on working mothers, not giving them enough time at home with their kids, but Tyler offered to pay for her to stay home with Tilly, and she said no.

She said no and left us with her child.

I rise from bed and head toward Ella’s room.

Standing in the doorway, I see Tyler dressing Ella and talking to her.

“Things are about to change, Ella. I’m so sorry my poor decisions are going to shake up your little world, but I promise it doesn’t mean I’ll love you any less,” he says.

I remain silent, not wanting to interrupt his conversation with Ella.

I guess this is what Violet and he have been doing when they’ve watched me with Ella in the mornings.

Seeing him with Ella warms my heart.

It’s a raw, private moment between father and daughter that I’m privileged to witness.

“Mommy said we should love Tilly like she were our own until things sort themselves out, and I’m inclined to agree…after all, it’s not her fault that her mother has decided to do this. Anyway, once you’re old enough, it might be nice to have a playmate. And I promise you, little one, I’ll never stop you from continuing a relationship with Tilly when grandpa proves Sophie has lied,” he says, picking up Ella and hugging her, tears in his eyes.

“Ella won’t know the difference. It will become her new normal,” I say, trying to reassure him.

He looks up, startled, but doesn’t respond immediately.

“She might think we are replacing her with another.”

“I doubt it. She sleeps most of the day,” he dismisses my comment and looks away.

“I have to leave in ten to pick her up,” he says, his statement hanging in the air like a question.

Maybe he started out asking a question, or maybe he wants someone to go with him.

Maybe I should go with him.

“Want us to come with you? Might be nice to give Violet a few hours off,” I suggest.

He looks up again, his expression hopeful instead of sad.

I guess he was asking a question.

“That would be nice, but I’m not sure Violet would want us to take Ella. She’s only three weeks old.”

“I’ll sort it,” I assure him, heading back to the bedroom where Violet and Zach are still sleeping.

I climb onto the bed and gently wake Violet with a kiss on her cheek.

“Vi?” I nuzzle her neck, kissing her from collarbone to ear. “Violet?”

She moans and turns her face toward me, her hand finding its way around the back of my head.

“It’s too early, Callum.”

“I think Tyler needs company this morning. I was thinking…Ella and I could go with him to pick up Tilly and go to the baby store. Would that be okay?”

She opens her eyes and looks at me, wide awake now, considering my request.

I can see the indecision in her eyes, followed by panic.

Maybe it is too soon.

“What about her milk?”

“I’ll get Catherine to pack us some in that handy travel bag that came with the breast pump.”

She looks up at the ceiling, swallowing hard.

All I can do is watch and wait.

“I’ve not spent time away from her where she isn’t still near. Normally it’s only for a nap, Callum.”

“We can leave her here if you don’t feel comfortable, baby. It was just an idea.”

I kiss her jaw until our lips meet in a passionate morning kiss.

When I pull away, her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are dilated.

If I had time, I would make love to her before leaving.

“I’m…you’ll…You’ll bring her straight back if I start to panic. Have your phone on loud so that you hear my phone call? Let me know if she’s okay?”

“Of course, baby. Besides, we’re only going to be gone a few hours,” I reassure her.

She nods, swallowing hard, her body tense.

Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

“Okay.”

“We can take her?” I ask for confirmation.

“Yes.”

“It’s alright, Vi, I’ll keep your mind off her not being here,” Zach says, rolling over to spoon her, smiling at us as if he heard our whole conversation and wasn’t asleep as he appeared to be.

I give Violet one more kiss before climbing out of bed to get dressed in the walk-in closet.

That’s when I call Catherine.

“Callum, everything okay?”

“Yes, can you pack up some milk and bottles for Ella? She’s coming out with Tyler and me this morning.”

“For how long?”

“A few hours, maybe three at most.”

“I’ll pack enough for two bottles then. Say three ounces per bottle. Has Violet okayed this?”

“She just did. Why?”

“Some mothers find it hard to separate from their newborns, though it is a good idea—maybe she can nap and catch up on sleep. She’ll have to pump, so make sure to call when Ella eats.”

I roll my eyes. We already know this, and I highly doubt Zach would let her forget.

He’d probably drink the milk just like I would.

“Very well, we need to leave in five.”

“I’ll have the bags ready.”

Oh, shoot. I had forgotten the changing bag.

By the time I’ve dressed and left the room after almost making out with Violet again, Tyler is packed and ready in the car.

Ella is snug in her car seat on the driver’s side rear, and there’s a matching car seat in gray on the passenger side at the back.

I’m not sure why we didn’t just use the spare car seat that Tyler had bought, but there’s that.

Tilly has her own things, her own seat unit for the stroller that we’ve yet to use, her own car seat as well as her own cot and high chair.

“Are you still nervous?” I ask as we drive off our property toward the lay-by, where Tyler is meeting Sophie this morning.

“Very much so, she’s leaving her child in my possession for three fucking days, and I barely know her. I mean, I’ve seen her for all of three hours,” he says, signaling left at the end of our drive.

“I’m not going to lie, Ty, this is fucking weird, and it’s going to take some getting used to…but we will get there and for what it’s worth. I believe you.”

He makes a funny face at my statement before signaling off the dirt road onto the main road toward town.

We drive for a further three minutes before he pulls into the lay-by where the small black convertible is already idling.

Sophie is out of the car almost immediately.

“Do you need her car seat?” she asks in a rush, taking a large changing bag out of the footwell.

“No, I have one in my car,” he replies as she picks up Tilly from the car seat in her car, walking over to peer into the back of Tyler’s car.

She nods toward Tyler, who is leaning against my door, facing away from Sophie.

“Alright, I’ll let you buckle her in. I’ve been paged and need to rush to work. She just finished a bottle, so she’ll need another one at ten. There’s a can of formula in the bag. It’s one scoop per ounce of water, and she takes five ounces every three hours. You’ll need another can since this one’s already open. The water needs to be boiled and cooled before she can drink it. Her routines are all written down in the notebook in the bag. Mommy loves you, Tils, but I have to leave now.” She thrusts Tilly into Tyler’s surprised arms, planting a quick kiss on the baby’s head.

Tyler takes the bag with his other hand, and before he knows it, she’s in her car and driving away.

“Alright then,” he mutters, opening the back door.

He adjusts the car seat and the headrest, securing Tilly in with the same meticulousness he uses for Ella. “Guess your mom was really eager to get back to work, huh, little one?”

The rest of the morning goes smoothly.

We pick up the items Tyler ordered from the baby store, and decide to buy diapers in Tilly’s size, along with a few cans of milk and extra bottles. Sophie only packed two bottles for three whole days.

We buy the same brand she brought, getting two packs so we have enough to clean and use simultaneously.

Tilly starts to get fussy around nine forty-five in BuyBuy Baby, so Tyler decides to change her diaper in the parent’s room at the back and prepare a bottle for both girls. But things quickly go south from there.

Ella is perfectly content drinking her breast milk from the bottle Catherine packed, but Tilly refuses her milk once the water cools down enough for her to drink.

She won’t take the bottle or a cuddle. Her diaper is clean, but she’s screaming like she’s in pain.

It gets so embarrassing that we end up retreating to the car, where Ella has fallen asleep in her car seat.

But Tilly just won’t calm down.

Tyler paces around the parking lot, anxiety written all over his face, until he finally calls Zach. He doesn’t share this with Zach, but he’s secretly banking on Violet to be their saving grace. He believes Tilly is yearning for her mom, and Violet is the closest thing to a maternal figure she’ll have in the coming three days.

The idea unsettles me, yet I choose to remain silent. Even I can’t help but feel a twinge of anxiety that the upcoming three days might be dominated by the ceaseless wails of this little girl—a scenario none of us are ready to face.