Double Surprise

ZACH

I read the note tucked inside the box Violet has named Matthew’s memory box.

~Matthew gave us the gift of life for his first birthday. What a surprise!~

The meaning sinks in on the second read, and by the look on Tyler’s face, he’s just as shocked. My heart thumps wildly, echoing the roar of my car engine when I floor it.

I can almost hear the gears turning in my head, my heart pounding with the thrill of the possibility of another child…are we having more kids?

“Vi?” I ask, reaching into the box to pull out the three pregnancy tests hidden beneath the note. I hold them up for Tyler and me to see, the tangible evidence of Violet’s written words.

Two are standard tests with unmistakable pink lines, but the third one is special. It boldly declares the word pregnant.

Tyler pulls out ultrasound photos showing two identical babies.

“You’re pregnant?” Tyler asks softly.

“With twins?” I add, my voice filled with excitement.

“Yes,” Violet responds, her voice barely above a whisper but filled with joy.

She’s practically bouncing on her toes, her hands clasped together in anticipation.

I glance at Tyler, and he looks back at me. A smile spreads across my face as I see his expression change.

And that strange sensation in my chest, the one that flutters when I think about those I love… it makes room for two identical shapes of hope for the babies growing inside Violet.

“How far along are you?” I ask at the same time Tyler asks, “How long have you known?” That’s a fair question; she must have known long enough to get an ultrasound.

“We found out yesterday at the doctor’s office… we’re ten weeks and six days along. It was a surprise for us too,” Callum says, his grin revealing all his pearly whites.

I’ve never seen him smile like that, except maybe when he’s with Ella and thinks no one is watching.

He’s as thrilled as he should be, a stark contrast from the last time… apparently.

“Twins?” I can’t help but grin. We’re having two babies.

Two tiny humans growing inside my girl.

“That’s four kids under two, you realize?” Tyler says, grinning at Violet and Callum.

I can’t resist the urge to scoop Violet up and spin her around before pressing my lips to hers. Tyler joins in after I set her back on her feet, and then I pull Callum and Ella into a group hug.

I give Ella a quick peck on the cheek before kissing Callum. Then I turn to Tyler, pulling him into my arms to kiss him too.

“I guess the debate the other night is moot?” I ask the three of them.

You see…Callum and Tyler were undecided about when to try for another baby, whereas I didn’t care and wanted to leave it up to fate.

I guess that whole debate was pointless because fate had other plans, given she was already pregnant.

“Fate had other plans,” Violet echoes my thoughts exactly, grinning.

“I can’t wait to see you carrying these two little miracles,” I say, dropping to my knees in front of her.

The most passionate sex I’ve ever had was with Violet when she was pregnant with Ella. I lift her shirt so I can press my lips to her still-flat belly and talk to the babies just like I did with Ella.

“You don’t know how happy your daddy is that you’re growing in here, little ones,” I say, looking up at Violet as she runs her fingers through my hair.

God, she’s beautiful and…unique.

And she’s all ours.

“I love you, my little minx,” I tell her, and her eyes mist over before she blinks away the tears threatening to spill.

“I love you too, Zach.”

TYLER

Life has a way of thrusting you into reality when you least expect it, and looking at Violet’s ultrasound photos is that reality check.

A few days ago, when we discussed having more kids, I was terrified. The thought of adding another child to our already busy lives scared me.

I’ve struggled with going back to work and missing out on parts of Ella’s life, her firsts that I’ll never get back. I feel the same way about Tilly when she goes home for the weekend, even though I know she’s not biologically mine. But I’ve come to love her as if she were my own daughter.

On the other hand, I know I’d get bored without work, so I couldn’t be a stay-at-home dad forever.

I made my case for waiting. I listed my reasons and explained each one to ensure there was no miscommunication among the four of us.

Surprisingly, Callum shared some of my concerns and agreed with me, making it a two-to-two split.

Zach and Violet wanted to leave it up to fate, to let nature take its course. And I guess, in a way, that’s exactly what happened.

She was on birth control that obviously didn’t work, but it gave us not one, but two wonderful surprises.

My thumb traces the two babies in the ultrasound photo, their heads barely a breath apart and sharing the same sac, meaning they have the same father.

Either Zach or Callum, it seems fate listened to our plan too.

Identical twins come with risks, risks that I’m all too familiar with.

I suppose I have Rose to thank for that because she researched all the possible outcomes that could have happened but didn’t, at least not with her.

A pang of old feelings tries to settle within me. Rose and Ivee are buried just a few meters from where we’re standing right now. My late wife and daughter rest together as a mother and daughter should. A life promised but stolen.

I want to feel the soul-crushing sadness I used to carry within me, but I can’t summon it because fate had other plans for me. For us, this is it.

The four of us. Ella and these two babies and Tilly too.

Everything we dreamed of.

Every year of pain yearning for something that we thought was impossible has been gifted to us tenfold in a mere year of our lives.

Patience.

That’s the word Carla always whispered to me when I was feeling down and defeated.

The word she claimed she preached to herself all those years she also suffered from infertility.

Patience was the key, trust in God, and you shall receive when the time is right.

I never thought beyond my pain to understand my mother-in-law’s words, but now I get them. I get it.

Thank you, Lord, for all that you have given us.

The four of us embrace each other in happiness on a day that should have been filled with tears and sorrow.

This brings me back to what Violet wrote. Matthew gifted us with life.

Maybe he did.

Maybe you can do that after you’ve passed on and gone to the afterlife, to heaven.

I hope that maybe Rose and Ivee had a hand in this too.

In this miracle that I didn’t know I would be so happy to receive.

Damn, if you had asked me two days ago about having another child, I would have argued until I was blue in the face.

But today, faced with the reality that not two but four tiny feet will be joining us in a few months, all I feel is—elation and happiness.

Yes…happiness, even contentment.

This is all I’ve ever wanted, a family of our own, and now we have it.

We take time to spend with Matthew, reading Ella’s favorite book, describing his teddy, and talking about his sister and the ones to come. This is all we can do for him, and it’s a sad fact, but we like to think he’s up there, happy, warm, and safe. And surrounded by our loved ones who have passed.

On our way out of the baby garden, I veer off on my own, heading toward Rose and Ivee. It would feel wrong not to visit them at all, not when they’re so close.

But to my surprise, when I look behind me, not only is Zach following as I expected, but Violet and Callum are too. They sit down on the ground with Ella so Violet can feed her while I clean both headstones and place their flowers in their little vases as I used to do every month.

It’s been a while since I last came, leaving some dust on the marble headstones. Unlike the baby garden, there aren’t people who keep these headstones clean.

Zach and I talk to Rose, telling her about our life now, how things have changed so drastically with Zach’s parents, especially his father.

We talk about Ella and how wonderful it is to finally be what we’ve longed to be for so long, parents.

All too soon, it’s time for our dinner date with Annie, and we have to pack up and leave.

I say my goodbyes and head to the car with Callum and Ella, Zach trailing just behind us.

Violet stays behind, her hand resting on Ivee’s headstone, and we all stop to look back over our shoulders.

“I swear, your memory will live on in our children. I’ll make sure the boys share stories about you, show them your pictures,” she makes this promise, her hand gently resting on Rose’s.

“I don’t know if God took you away so that Tyler and Zach could be a part of my life. But if that’s the case, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. And I’m grateful. I’m grateful to you for giving me the chance to have them.” I step away then.

I don’t want to intrude on her private conversation with Rose. But the little I’ve heard is enough to tell me everything. It tells me that Violet has one of the most genuine hearts I’ve ever come across. Instead of feeling envy toward Rose and Ivee, she feels gratitude.

How did we get so lucky to have someone as pure-hearted as her in our lives?