Professor Astor: Chapter 27

I smile at Krishan and try my best to focus on his story about the corporate fraud case he handled at his previous firm, but all I can think about is Thor. He looked upset when I left, and the pleading gaze in his eyes haunts me.

“That’s honestly really cool,” I tell him, feeling terrible about my inability to focus on him. He seems like a nice guy, maybe someone I actually would’ve liked if I’d never met Thor. I smile at him while I try to think of an excuse to leave early, but my smile melts away when I see Thor walking my way. What is he doing here?

“Leia.”

Krishan looks up at Thor, and then back at me. I’m so at a loss for words that I can’t even think of anything to say.

“Thanks for keeping my girl company,” he tells Krishan, “but I’ve got it from here.”

My face heats at those words and I look at Krishan with wide eyes, unsure if I should apologize or laugh off Thor’s words. He merely smiles at me and nods. “He’s not your boyfriend, is he?”

I shake my head. “No, not exactly.”

“But he’s something?”

Thor places his hand on my shoulder. “Damn right, we’re something.”

I smile nervously and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m really sorry, Krishan.”

He shakes his head, dismissing my apology as he rises from his seat. “That explains why I could barely keep your attention.” He smiles sheepishly, and I try my hardest to smile back at him, but guilt prevents me from doing so.

I groan when Krishan walks away, and Thor takes his seat. “What the hell are you doing here?” I snap.

“I asked you nicely not to go on this date,” he warns. “Since you wanted to go so badly, then we’ll go.”

My lips fall open in shock as I stare at him, taking in the possessiveness in his demeanor. Every time I’m alone with him, he shows me a different facet of himself. This part of him might well be my favorite, though I’d never admit it to him.

“You’re insufferable.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“What exactly do you think you’re doing? Aren’t you afraid of people seeing us together?”

“This?” he asks. “This is our weekly dissertation meeting.”

A startled laugh escapes my lips and I shake my head. “You’re shameless.” He crashed my date and won’t even outright admit he did. “How did you even know where I was?”

“It took Silas approximately seven minutes to track you down. Far too long, in my opinion.”

I stare at him wide-eyed, a strange sense of satisfaction washing over me. He and I have been dancing around each other, neither of us truly admitting the way we feel. Today he’s not holding back, and it exhilarates me.

Thor stares me down, his eyes flashing. “I told you not to leave my bed last night, and you did. Then I told you not to go on this damn date, and you fucking did. What did you think I’d do, Leia? Sit at home while some asshole accountant gets to have dinner with you? No, baby. You admitted that you want me last night, and you don’t get to take those words back.”

“You’re being a hypocrite. You went on a date just last week, but I can’t do the same? You must be kidding me.”

He smiles at me and leans in, his arms crossed. “Did, I, though? Did I go on a date? All I remember doing was having dinner with Roger Williams. I didn’t even know his daughter would be there, and I didn’t care she was. He heavily hinted that I should stay and have a drink with her after he left, so I stayed for one single drink. The girl managed to spill wine all over her dress and asked to borrow my jacket, so I gave it to her. If you’d just asked me about it, I would’ve told you everything. I have no interest in playing games with you, Leia. Ask me anything, and I’ll always tell you the truth. You’re the only one I want, and you know it. I’m done pretending it isn’t true, especially now that I know you feel the same way.”

I lean back in my seat, my thoughts reeling, but before I can say a word, a server appears with what appears to be the manager. “Good evening, Mr. Astor,” he says. “It’s so good to have you. If you’d told us you’d be here tonight, we would’ve ensured you’d have a better table. Please let me know if there’s anything you need.”

I’ve seen Amara be treated like this everywhere she goes, but Thor has always seemed different somehow. Perhaps because I usually only see him at home or at Astor College.

He smiles politely and holds up the wine menu. I watch him as he asks for recommendations and orders a bottle to match the food Krishan and I already ordered. He’s so shameless. I have no doubt he has every intention of actually eating Krishan’s dinner too.

His eyes find mine the second the server walks away, and the way he looks at me is different. I’ve gotten used to him being kind and reserved with me, but today he looks the way he did two years ago… like a man who knows exactly what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.

And what he wants seems to be me.

“Our circumstances haven’t changed,” I tell him, my voice soft. “You still have children that desperately need you. I’m still your nanny and your student.”

He nods. “I know, but I don’t care anymore. I don’t think you understand, Leia. I can’t be without you anymore. I’m tired of feeling so fucking miserable, of having you within reach and being unable to touch you. I’m exhausted. I’m done wondering if you want me too, if maybe I could be the one to make you smile, the one to offer you a shoulder to lean on when you’ve had a rough day. I’m done with all of it.”

My heart clenches and I bite down on my lip, a whirlwind of emotions rushing through me. His words ignite a spark within me, a desire so deep it’d have me weak in the knees if I wasn’t sitting.

“Thor… I don’t want to be your dirty little secret. You know we can’t be together publicly. I’d be risking my PhD, and there’s a high chance it’d disrupt the children’s lives. They’ve only just gotten used to school and life here.”

He falls silent then and looks away, frustration marring his features. “Time is all we need, Leia. If you ask me to wait for you, I will. I can wait till you finish your PhD, till the kids have a bit more stability. They’re already smitten with you, and I think they’d accept us being together if we give them time.”

I nod, my heart racing. “Then answer this question, Thor. Be honest with me. Do you see yourself marrying me someday? Would you ever want to have another child, even though you already have Lucy and Colton? Just because the chances of me ever having a child of my own are slim to none, doesn’t mean I won’t try. If you and I start dating, I need to know there’s a future for us, one that aligns with what I envision for myself.”

“Yes,” he answers without hesitation. “Someday, I’m making you my wife. Yes, Leia. I want to have children with you. Am I crazy for wanting that after everything I just went through? Maybe, but maybe not. That fantasy we indulged in on our first date? I want that. All of it. If it’s with you, I want it all.”

I stare at him in shock, his words barely registering. This isn’t what I expected him to say. I was so sure he’d tell me he never wants to get married again, and that Lucy and Colton are enough for him.

“Baby, if you want to, we can start trying straight away. I have no doubts when it comes to you. I will marry you — preferably as soon as you graduate.”

“I…”

“Just say yes, Leia. Say you want the future we fantasized about. Tell me you’ll give us a chance.”

“I… I don’t want to wait,” I tell him honestly. “I’m tired of fighting this, too. Maybe this is the worst decision I’ll ever make, but what if it’s the best? I want to try with you, Thor.”

He smiles, and it transforms his entire face. I’m falling for him all over again, and this time, there’s no going back.

“Thor,” I whisper, and he nods. “We have to keep this quiet until I finish my PhD. To be honest, I’m not sure how my family will feel about us being together, and that’s something we’ll have to discuss at some point, but for now… for now, I just want to be with you.”

He reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do, so long as you tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours. Heart and soul.”

He grins and lifts my hand to his lips. “Oh baby, make no mistake. It isn’t just your heart and soul I want. I want your body too.”

I burst out laughing, my heart skipping a beat. Is this really happening? It all feels so surreal. The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of broken hearts and longing. I hope that isn’t how our story ends too.