Professor Astor: Chapter 31

I’m nervous as I unlock Thor’s front door, memories of the way he kissed me goodnight before I left last night still fresh in my mind. The way Thor touched me, his possessiveness, the passion. God, I can’t get enough of that man.

How am I supposed to spend a day with his daughter, acting as though I’m nothing but her nanny? How do I listen to her concerns and the pain she’s experiencing as a result of her parents’ divorce without feeling like a complete jerk for sleeping with her father, when she’s still hoping her parents might reconcile?

The house is mostly quiet when I walk in, the only sounds coming from the kitchen. I pause in the doorway when I see Thor standing behind the stove in a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants that make his ass look perfectly grabbable.

I lean against the doorway and admire the view, a pang of longing going straight to my chest. I want this. I want lazy Saturday mornings and home-cooked breakfasts with him. I want to wake up with him and spend whole days doing nothing together.

I watch his side profile, my heart skipping a beat when he smiles. “See something you like?” he asks, his voice as sexy as everything else about him.

“Yeah, looks delicious,” I tell him.

Thor chuckles and turns to look at me, his smile vanishing when he takes me in. I’m wearing a loose sun dress today, nothing overly fancy, but the look in his eyes makes me wonder whether what I see in the mirror might be different to what he sees when he looks at me.

“Oh yeah? Which part looks delicious?”

I grin and let my gaze roam over his body, enjoying the eye candy. “I like the eggs, but I’m more interested in the sausage.”

He bursts out laughing, and I can’t help but giggle too. “Hey, don’t forget, you’re the guy who joked about Uranus on our first date. You set a precedent for lame jokes, and you’ll never live that down.”

He smiles at me, his gaze filling with something deeper, something that makes my heart race in the weirdest way. I don’t usually get nervous or flustered, yet that’s exactly how I feel right now. “You look beautiful today,” he says eventually. “I wish I didn’t have to share you with Lucy. Is it weird to be jealous of my own daughter?”

I smile at him, shyness overcoming me. “No,” I murmur. “But maybe I can hang back when I drop her home later… to make up for the gross crime I’m committing by not being yours today.”

He chuckles and turns off the stove before walking up to me. “Oh baby,” he whispers. “You’re always mine. You have been from the moment I saw you sipping that cosmopolitan. You just didn’t know it yet.”

My heart skips a beat when he reaches me, his hand cupping my cheek gently before he leans in.

“What are you guys doing?”

I jump away from Thor, surprised to find Colton standing behind me, his eyes moving between his father and me. “Oh, Leia had something in her eye,” Thor says, his tone nonchalant.

“That happens to me sometimes,” Colton says, nodding in understanding, and I grimace. We really should know better than sneaking around when the kids are at home, but I was so lost in him for a moment that I forgot about everything that’s at stake. Thor does that to me. He makes me forget about everything but him.

“Leia!” Lucy yells, rushing up to me with the biggest smile on her face. I open up my arms as she crashes into me and hug her tightly, my heart totally overflowing with tenderness. This is the first time I’ve seen her act her age, and it proves how much she needs today. It’s strange how guilt and love for this little girl entwine, leaving me feeling helpless.

“Are you ready for today, sweetheart?” I ask.

She nods so furiously that I can’t help but laugh. “I’m so excited, Ley!”

I hug her tightly and nod back at her. “Me too! Lucy-Ley day, here we come!” I squeal, neither of us aware of the glares the boys are sending us.

“I hope you don’t have fun,” Colton says, stabbing his fork into the omelet Thor made him, and I suppress my chuckle.

“That’s a little mean, Colt,” I tell him gently. “That hurts a little.”

He looks guilty instantly, a look of panic crossing his face. “I’m sorry,” he says, his voice soft.

“You can make it up to me by playing Minecraft with me after school on Monday.”

He looks up, his eyes lit with excitement and relief, and then he nods. “Okay!”

“You ready to go, or do you want to have breakfast first? The spa I’m taking you to has a restaurant inside, so I was thinking it’d be nice to have an early lunch there, just you and I?”

Lucy nods and grabs my hand. “Yes! I’m not hungry. I’m too excited. I just want to go already, Ley.”

“You got it, Luce.”

I glance at Thor, wishing I could walk up to him and kiss him goodbye. It’s the small things I want most with him. His eyes drop to my lips, and I watch his Adam’s apple move as he drags his gaze away. I smile to myself in satisfaction. We might not be able to do these kind of things, but knowing he wants it as badly as I do sets me at ease.

“Let’s go, Ley!” Lucy says, pulling on my hand, and I chuckle as I let her drag me out. I’ve never seen Lucy so excited before, and it brings me such joy to see her act like a child. I wish I’d asked her more questions about her old life, so I’d known what she misses most. I’ll never replace her mother, but I should be able to take away at least some of the pain she feels. At least, I hope so.

“This spa is one that your auntie Amara introduced me to. I think it’s going to be so much fun. They have the fluffiest robes, and they’ve got like a million saunas and pools we can try. They even have this really cool ice room. I booked us facials and manis too!”

“Really?” Lucy asks, her eyes wide. “Wow, Ley. I really can’t wait!”

“Me neither,” I tell her. Over the last few months, I’ve come to care about Lucy and Colton far more than I ever cared about any of the other kids I’ve taken care of. It’s different with them, and I don’t think it’s necessarily because of Thor. They’ve both stolen my heart and filled a void I thought I’d always have to live with.

“Oh, and thank you for talking to Dad,” Lucy says, her cheeks bright red. “He said that Mum can come see Colton and me, and I think it’s thanks to you.”

I tense, my grip on the steering wheel tightening. Thor’s ex-wife is coming here? Why didn’t he tell me? Insecurity takes root deep inside my heart, spreading its poisonous vines until unwanted thoughts are all that fill my mind. He said that the divorce was unexpected, leading me to believe that it never would have occurred if Alice hadn’t asked for it.

I don’t know how seeing her will impact him, and fear mingles with my insecurity, leaving me trembling. I can’t help but wonder if at least some part of him still loves her. I know their divorce was a bitter one, but underneath all that pain, is there still love? “That’s great, sweetheart,” I tell Lucy. “Are you looking forward to seeing your mom again?”

She nods. “I can’t wait to introduce you. I told her all about you, and she’s excited to meet you too.”

I smile at Lucy, praying I’m doing an adequate job of keeping my inner turmoil from her. The very last thing I want to do is meet Thor’s ex-wife, but I have a sinking feeling that I won’t be able to avoid it.

I bite down on my lip, scared of what the future might hold. I should’ve known not to be too happy. Every time I think happiness is within reach, it’s taken from me abruptly and brutally. I’m hoping this time will be different, but admittedly, my hopes aren’t very high.