Professor Astor: Chapter 32

I check my watch for the tenth time in just as many minutes, impatient for my girls to get back home. How long can you possibly spend at a spa? They’ve been gone for hours. If Leia hadn’t been texting me regularly, I’d be worried sick by now.

I sit up when I finally hear the sounds of giggles and excited chatter coming from the hallway, and I take a moment to just enjoy it. For a really long time, I was worried I’d never hear my little girl laugh the way she used to. I thought Alice and I forced her to grow up too quickly, and that her last remaining childhood years were lost.

If not for Leia, they might have been. Slowly but surely, she teased out the Lucy I thought I’d lost, and she did it so effortlessly. She never pushed, always providing Lucy with the support she needed, until one day, my daughter fell as hard for Leia as I did.

“Daddy,” Lucy says as she walks in, and I open my arms up wide. She giggles as she rushes up to me and hugs me tightly.

“Sounds like you had a good day?” I murmur, my eyes on Leia who’s leaning back against the wall, her smile as wide as Lucy’s is.

Lucy nods and pulls away. “The best day, Dad.” She holds her hands up for me. “Look, Leia and I got matching nail polish.”

I glance at the light pink color and pretend to admire it, even though I know jack shit about nail polish, and this color barely looks different to her skin tone.

“Is it really matching?” I ask. “I’ll have to see yours, Leia. How else can I compare?”

She pushes away from the wall and walks up to me, her hips swaying ever so slightly as she walks. She’s a fucking siren, and I have a feeling she knows what she does to me when she looks at me that way.

Leia sits down next to us and holds her hand up for me. I grab it and hold it tenderly, my thumb brushing over the back of her hand. This is what she does to me. She makes me act like a fucking teenager, eager to just hold her hand.

“Beautiful,” I murmur, my eyes on her.

“I know right!” Lucy says, and I grin, dragging my gaze back to my daughter.

“Did you eat dinner, love? You two are home a lot later than I expected.”

Lucy and Leia both nod in unison. “Ley and I went on a posh date,” Lucy tells me, before proceeding to tell me all about the fancy restaurant Leia took her to. She spoiled Lucy today, huh? I’d better make sure I adequately reward her for it.

Lucy yawns, and I smile as I brush her hair out of her face. “Go brush your teeth, sweetheart. I’ll come tuck you in soon.”

She nods and disappears through the door. Leia and I both listen for the sound of her footsteps on the stairs, and then she leans into me.

“I missed you,” I tell her. “You’re all I’ve been able to think about all day.”

I thread my hand through her hair, my fingers grazing her scalp as I tip her head up. I kiss her leisurely, taking my time to drive her as crazy as I’ve felt all day. My attempts backfire, because within seconds, I’m hard as fuck for her.

“I missed you too,” she whispers against my lips, before pulling away.

“I’m going to need you to show me just how much you missed me, Leia. Preferably all night long,” I tell her before giving her another lingering kiss. “But first I’m going to put my little girl to bed.”

She nods. “Meanwhile, I’ll go make sure that Colt isn’t secretly still gaming.”

I chuckle as we both get up, and I can’t help but wonder if she feels it too. We fit together so perfectly. I can see Leia truly becoming part of our family. Fuck. I can’t wait to make her my wife. I’ve never felt that way before. I only ever married Alice because it was the next logical step, but there was no deep primal need to make her mine.

By the time the kids are in bed, I’m barely hanging onto my sanity. I’m so eager to have Leia to myself that I can barely think straight.

“Finally,” I murmur as I pull her into my bedroom, pressing her against the door the second it closes behind us. I kiss her hungrily, impatiently. “I’ve been dying for you, baby,” I murmur in between kisses. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since this morning.”

She melts against me and looks up at me, a sweet smile on her face. “Me too. Watching you standing there in these damn sweatpants, teasing me like that. It’s unfair.”

I smirk and bite down on my lip, loving how honest she is with me about how much she wants me. There are never any games with Leia, and it’s so fucking refreshing after years of marriage to a woman who continuously messed with my head.

Ley looks up at me, something in her eyes I can’t quite place. It’s not sorrow, but it’s a pain of some sort.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” I ask, my tone gentle. I tuck her hair behind her ear and cup her cheek, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

“Thor… Lucy told me her mother is coming to visit soon. I know it isn’t any of my business, but I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

I pull back a little to look at her, taking in the torment in her eyes, the insecurity. Fucking hell. I’m so fucking glad she chose to address her concerns instead of keeping her worries in, letting them fester.

“Anything that pertains to me is your business, Leia. Always. Don’t ever doubt that.”

She looks startled for a moment, and then the tension flows away from her body, her shoulders sagging in relief.

“I meant to tell you today, but honestly, the mere mention of my ex-wife puts me in a terrible mood, and we were just having a nice little moment this morning. I didn’t want to ruin your day or my own, but I should’ve known Lucy would tell you. I never meant to keep it from you, Leia.”

She nods, but her eyes are still filled with questions. I give her a moment, disappointment flooding me when I realize she won’t ask anything more. Does she not feel like she has the right to? If she doesn’t, then I’m to blame for that.

“After you told me what Lucy said to you, I sat down with the kids and talked to them about their mother. Both of them wanted to see her really badly, and I didn’t even realize it. She’s coming to see them in a few weeks, when they have some time off school.”

“That’s good,” she says. “It’ll be good for Lucy and Colton.”

I nod at her and cup her cheek. “It will be, and while their mother is with them, you and I can go on as many dates as we want. I can’t wait to spend all day in bed with you, Princess.”

The way she looks at me puts me on edge. It feels like there’s distance between us that wasn’t there mere moments ago. “Do you still love her?”

I frown, surprised by her question. “No. No, Leia. I absolutely do not still love her. That’s not something you’ll ever have to worry about. Her visiting will not impact us at all. You have nothing to worry about, Princess. She and I are over.”

“I can’t help it, Thor. I just… I keep thinking how good it would be for the kids to have their parents together, how much happier they’d both be. And then my mind drifts back to you telling me that the divorce was so unexpected, and I just can’t help but wonder. If she hadn’t asked for a divorce, would you still be with her?”

I pull away from Leia, unsure what to tell her. “I honestly don’t know, Leia. I don’t see how it matters, because that isn’t the case. What’s the point in tormenting ourselves over what-ifs?”

“Your inability to answer my question speaks volumes,” she says, wrapping her arms around herself. She looks so hurt, so heartbroken, and I hate that I did that to her.

“Leia, I won’t ever lie to you. If she hadn’t asked for a divorce, I would’ve done what’s best for the kids. I would’ve stayed.” Leia flinches, and I run a hand through my hair to keep from reaching for her. What she needs right now isn’t physical comfort. She needs the truth. I won’t have our relationship built on anything but honesty. “But I can also tell you that I stopped loving Alice long before she asked for a divorce, and she knew it. I think she realized it before I ever did. I hear the questions you aren’t asking, my love, and the answer is no. No, you aren’t a second choice. No, I would never choose her over you if given the chance. No, you won’t lose me to her. No, her being here won’t affect me in the way you’re imagining.”

Leia’s eyes fill with tears, and I pull her toward me, capturing her in my embrace. “That day in my office when I told you that you’re mine, I failed to make it clear that in return, I’m yours too. I’ve been yours from the moment you proclaimed yourself my wife on our very first date.”

“Prove it,” she whispers, rising to her tiptoes. I kiss her until she’s moaning against my lips, her touch as needy as mine.

“Gladly, Princess. I have a feeling you’re not easily convinced, though. I think this might take all night.”

She laughs, and just like that, everything is right in my world again.