Professor Astor: Chapter 37

“I can’t believe you took us to a water park, Dad!” Colton says, his eyes wide with excitement.

I reach for his hand, but he doesn’t even realize it. Instead, he runs up to Leia and grabs her free hand. Both of my children abandoned me in favor of Leia. “Wow. I’m not sure if I should be jealous or happy,” I say, but the kids simply ignore me. Leia looks over her shoulder and sticks her tongue out at me, and I shake my head in amusement.

I watch the trio, their joined hands swinging back and forth, smiles on their faces. Taking a day off work was the right call. I need Colton and Lucy to know that I’ll never punish them for standing up for themselves or each other. I had no idea Colt had been bullied for weeks before it escalated, and I can’t help but feel like I failed him.

Perhaps I’ve been relying on Leia too much. I’ve definitely been working too much. Trying to keep up with everything Grandpa has me doing has been hard enough as it is. Combine that with my role at Astor College, and I barely have time left to sleep.

I need to do better. Not just for the kids, but for Leia too. I’m asking too much of her. Without me even realizing it, she’s taking on the role of their mother, when that was never in her job description. Even now that we’re dating, I wouldn’t dare ask it of her.

“Can we go on that ride?” Lucy asks, pointing to a long spiral slide, and I nod.

“Go on,” I tell her. “Leia and I will wait here. The queue will be long, though. Are you sure you want to go on that one?”

“Definitely!” Lucy says, and Colton nods in agreement.

I smile when he takes his sister’s hand and pulls her along, the two of them joining a queue of forty-five minutes to go on a ride that’ll last three minutes tops. I never quite understood theme parks, but the kids love them, so here we are.

“You know, Ley? Because of you, Lucy is finally acting like a child again. She’s smiling the way she used to, and I owe it to you. Colton too, he coped with the divorce by throwing himself into his games, and you took that and used it to connect with him. You never cease to amaze me, and I’m so incredibly grateful that the kids and I have you in our lives.”

She looks at me, visibly emotional, and I smile as I lean in. I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, my eyes on hers. I’ve fallen for her so damn hard. I never thought I’d ever fall in love again, but here I am, staring down at my future.

“I didn’t notice he was being bullied. Even worse, it was because of me. I can’t help but wonder what it is I did that made him a target. I feel terrible about it, Thor.”

I cup her cheek and lean in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. She sighs and rises to her tiptoes, kissing me fully. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of this woman.

“It wasn’t anything you did, Leia,” I murmur against her lips. “Kids can be mean, and I can only imagine that this boy was jealous of the love you give Colton. It must be hard, you know? Seeing how much you care, when many parents probably don’t care half as much. That’s all it is.”

She nods, but I see the worry in her eyes. I love that about her. I love how much she cares, how much of herself she gives us. I always thought I’d never find another woman that I’d want to be in a serious relationship with, because I didn’t think I’d ever find someone who would love my kids as though they’re her own. I think Leia genuinely does, and they love her just as much. Lately I find myself thinking of a future with her every time my thoughts drift. Day dreaming about her has become my favorite hobby.

“Come on, the kids will be back soon,” she says, pulling me toward the exit of the ride. “I don’t want them to look for us. I’m worried they’ll panic if they don’t see us straight away.”

Yeah, it’s official. I’m fucking smitten. “Okay, Princess,” I murmur, grabbing her hand. Leia looks surprised, and I smirk. She and I rarely hold hands since we’re so secretive about our relationship, but I can’t resist today.

I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never felt so possessive. I’ve never had the urge to touch a woman at all times. This type of need, this connection, it’s all new to me.

“Ley! Dad!”

I grin when the kids run up to us. Colton crashes into me while Lucy wraps her arms around Leia, hugging her tightly. “Oh, that was so exciting!” she squeals, and my heart skips a beat. I’ve missed my little girl. This is exactly what she used to be like, and when Alice and I divorced, I thought I’d lost her. “Oh, Daddy, we should bring Mum here soon!”

Leia tenses beside me, and I force a smile. “You’ll have to ask your mum, but if you ask really nicely, she might just bring you here.”

Thankfully, Colton pulls Lucy away to go to the next slide, saving me from what I’m certain was about to be a tough conversation. It’s one I’ll need to have with them, though.

“When will she be arriving?” Leia asks, her tone hesitant.

“Next week.”

“Oh.” Leia crosses her arms and looks away, her expression torn. I can pretty much guess how she feels. She’s happy for the kids, but worried for us.

“I booked her a nice hotel. I haven’t spoken to her much, so I’m uncertain how much she’ll want to see the kids. I figured we can discuss that in person once she’s here. I’d hate to make the kids any promises that she can’t keep, but I think she’ll want to take care of them, so you’ll be able to focus on your dissertation.”

Leia nods, but she won’t look at me. “Hey,” I say, placing my index finger under her chin. I lift her face up and smile at her. “Tell me what you’re thinking, Princess. If you won’t talk to me, I can’t put your worries at ease.”

Leia sighs and runs a hand through her long hair. “I’m just worried in general, Thor. I can’t help but worry about whether you’ll spend much time alone with her, and what it’ll be like when the four of you are together again. I know I’m being irrational, but part of me wonders what you’d do if she says she changed her mind, and she wants you back. You never even wanted a divorce, and the kids want nothing more than for you to get back together. I can’t help overthinking everything.”

“I love you,” I tell her. I’ve never been overly generous with my affection, but I can’t resist with Leia. I wish the first time I told her I loved her wasn’t while I was fucking her against the door of my office on campus. I imagined roses and champagne, and every other little thing I want Leia to have so she’ll never feel like she missed out on anything by being with me, but I’ve already fucked that up now. All I can do is tell her I love her every single day to make up for the first time I said it not being special. “I love you so fucking much that it hurts, Leia. I have the utmost respect for my ex-wife as my children’s mother, but that’s all she is to me.” I want to admit that I never felt anything like this before, that I never loved my ex-wife the way I love her, but it feels disrespectful to say that, when Alice has given me so many happy years and two beautiful children. It’s something I’d rather prove to Leia than say.

She looks at me with wide eyes, and I smile, my heart overflowing. “I love you,” I repeat, trying to resist the urge to say it a thousand times over. “All I ask of you, is that you remember my words when doubt inevitably creeps in. I love you.”

She smiles, and I see her feelings reflected in her eyes before she says anything at all. “I guess I love you too.” She smirks, and I burst out laughing.

“You guess? Looks like I’m going to have to up my game, wifey. I’m going to have to go all out to make you fall for me as hard as I fell for you.”

Leia grins and rises to her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to my lips. “Can’t wait, hubs.”

With Leia and me, the time has never been right. Being with her has taught me that the best things in life are worth fighting for, against all the odds and every obstacle.

I’m certain Alice being here won’t be easy on us, but I’ll do everything in my power to make sure Leia feels secure in our relationship.