Professor Astor: Chapter 44

“He will never love you the way he loves me.” I turn around to find Alice leaning against the kitchen door. I expected her to come find me earlier today, but she’s left me alone all day. She didn’t even ask me to pick up Lucy and did it herself. I was sure she’d pile every single errand she could think of on me, reminding me that I’m an employee. Other than checking in on Colton and Lucy a few times, she’s barely said a word to me. Until now. “This fling might be exciting for now, but he’ll never marry you. You’re still young, Leia. Don’t you want children of your own? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being a stand-in for me?”

Her words hit me straight in the chest, and it takes all of me not to react. Stand-in… I guess that’s exactly what I am. I try not to let her words get to me, but they do, and I have a feeling she knows it. “I’m not at liberty to discuss my relationship with Adrian with you,” I tell her, keeping my tone as friendly as I can.

She chuckles and runs a hand through her long, blonde hair. “That’s cute. So he’s keeping you hidden, huh? Let me guess… he’s got you convinced that it’s your idea, or that it’s for the best. It’s probably for the kids, right?”

I look at her, unsure where she’s going with this. I’m not stupid. I know she’s trying to rile me up, and I’d be an idiot to fall for it, but I can’t help but feel hurt.

“Why do you think we got a divorce, Leia?” she asks, a knowing smile on her face. “You’re not the first girl Adrian has promised the world to. You’re not his first affair. He’s charismatic, isn’t he? He could charm any girl he sets his sights on, and he does it with such ease. It isn’t the first time he used the children, either. Makes him look more broken, you see? As though he’s just in need of the right woman’s touch. He’ll convince you that our marriage was empty, because he’s not stupid enough to actually badmouth me. He’s too subtle for that. He always is.” She laughs, the sound chilling. I should walk away, but I can’t. A part of me fears that her words are true. He did, after all, give me the wrong phone number, and he did pick me up in a bar. It’s so out of character for him, but maybe it isn’t at all?

“He’ll tell you he can’t date you out in the open, because the kids would never accept that. That part of the story has changed. It used to be that our marriage was over, but we stayed together for the kids. He’d promise the girls that he’d leave me someday, but he never would. You know, if I hadn’t asked him for a divorce, he never would have left me at all. I’m the only woman he’s ever truly loved, the only one he keeps coming back to.”

She smiles apologetically, her eyes filled with pity. “I shouldn’t even try to warn you, because you’ll end up finding out the hard way. He will never love you, no matter what he says. Don’t believe his promises, Leia. He won’t marry you. He won’t start a family with you. Whatever he promised you, it isn’t true. I can’t make you believe me, but just think about it. He used to cheat on me each time he went on a trip, picking up girls in bars, spending a night with them. There weren’t many that actually lasted beyond one night, but the few who did, didn’t last more than a few months. He’d get bored, and he’d move on. It was an endless vicious cycle that I was trapped in as much as these girls were. I got out, and I hope you will too.”

She walks away, leaving me standing there reeling. I don’t want to believe her, but something in her expression as she spoke to me unnerved me. I mentally go through my first meeting with Thor, the way he wouldn’t tell me his real name, and the way he gave me a wrong phone number. Has he done that to other girls, too?

I might not even have been the only girl he slept with on that trip. I was just the one that crossed his path again, unexpectedly. Perhaps I was just the most convenient choice. I’m always accessible to him, and I didn’t exactly even make him chase me.

“Leia?”

I look up at Thor and blink slowly, confused as to why I’m seated on the kitchen floor. I don’t even remember sitting down. How long have I been here, lost in my thoughts?

“What happened?” he asks, kneeling down beside me. He brushes my hair out of my face and I recoil, my eyes widening.

“Leia?” he repeats, his tone worried.

My eyes find his, and I breathe in deeply. “Did you ever cheat on Alice?” I ask. “Don’t lie to me, Thor. Tell me the truth.”

He shakes his head. “Never. I swear it.”

I nod. “Why didn’t you tell me your name that night?”

“Because you wouldn’t give me yours. I remember that night vividly, baby. You were wearing a yellow summer dress with shoes that had a sunflower on them, and your lips were bright red. You were sipping a cosmopolitan when I walked in, and you stole my breath. I was supposed to meet Silas there, but when I saw you, every thought just faded. I asked you what your name was, and you told me I could just call you Ley. In return, I told you to call me Thor.”

I nod, a sob tearing through my throat. He takes me into his arms, and I burst into tears, my throat burning. “Princess,” Thor says. “You need to tell me what happened. What’s going on? Is it something Alice did, something she said?”

I nod and tighten my grip on him, my entire body heaving from the force of my sobs. I believed her. For a few moments, I believed her over the man I know so well.

“Leia, look at me,” he says, pulling away. He wipes away my tears and smiles. “I love you. I don’t know what Alice said to you, but it’s clear she made you doubt me. Ask me anything you want. Even if the answers aren’t what you might want to hear, I will always be honest with you. I promise.”

I nod and drop my forehead to his shoulder, trying my best to get a hold of myself. What was I thinking? How could I possibly have doubted him as much as I did? If Alice could do that to me, then our relationship might not be as strong as I thought it was.

“I asked her to leave this morning,” he says. “I’m not surprised she lashed out, but I should’ve warned you. She threatened me this morning, insinuating that she’d tell the school about us. I told her that doing so would be the end of any relationship I still have with her, and I thought she heeded my warning.”

I have a feeling that it’s more than Thor is telling me. For her to react the way she did… that wasn’t just being unhappy to see your ex move on. She was actively trying to sabotage our relationship. To what end?

“We can no longer keep our relationship hidden, Leia. You need to finish your doctorate as soon as you can. You have to hand in your dissertation. Once you’ve done that, we can tackle the rest. I’m tired of hiding in the shadows. I’m ready for more, Leia. I’m ready to publicly call you mine, consequences be damned… but I won’t let this hurt your doctorate. Please, Princess, please tell me you’ll finish your dissertation soon.”

I nod. “It’s nearly finished. I was going to ask you if we could sit down and review it together next week.”

His relief is palpable, and my faith is restored. I was crazy to doubt him. I should’ve known better. This is Thor, after all. “As soon as you finish your doctorate, we need to come clean about our relationship. The kids might not take it well, but there’s no point in delaying the inevitable.”

I recognize the worries in his eyes… they reflect mine perfectly. We need to tell the kids before Alice does.

“My family won’t take this well either,” I admit. “They might not accept it at all.”

It would be impossible for him to truly understand, but they won’t immediately accept him. It isn’t just the fact that he’s older, divorced, and has kids. It’s his ethnicity and religion too. My parents will be too worried about the way us being together might look, and what it would mean for any kids we might have. They’ll worry that I’ll lose sight of my roots by being with him, but that’s something I will need to worry about when it comes to it.

“I will win them over,” Thor says, a smile on his face.

God, I hope so. I doubt it’s going to be as easy as he thinks it is.