Professor Astor: Chapter 60

My heart aches as I stare at my front door, part of me unwilling to walk in. It’s been over a week, but my argument with my parents is still fresh in my mind.

If my mother hadn’t called me, asking me to come home, I never would have. I wonder what my dad would have done. Would he truly have let his pride and stubbornness ruin our relationship? Would he truly want to lose me over this?

I inhale deeply as I unlock the door and walk in, the house quiet. I drop my key in the little bowl we’ve got in the hallway, feeling conflicted. I’m still hurt and angry, and I know my parents will only make it worse.

“Leia.”

I look up to find my mother standing in the doorway, her expression regretful.

“You’re home.”

I nod and walk past her toward the stairs, unsure what to even say to her. I know what my parents are like. It doesn’t matter what I say, they won’t listen, anyway. They’re more concerned with what people will say. Their pride and ego will take precedence over my happiness.

“Leia,” Mom repeats. “Come have some tea.”

I want to say no. I don’t want to play this game where we act like everything is okay, even though they’re breaking my heart. I don’t want to put up pretenses. I don’t have it in me.

“Mom,” I say, my tone weary. “I’m tired.”

“It’s just a cup of tea, Leia. Just a few minutes, okay? I haven’t seen you all week.”

Her tone sounds concerned, and my heart squeezes painfully. This is so incredibly hard on me. I know she means well, and I know she’s worried about me, but those same worries are going to cost me everything.

“All right,” I say in the end, unable to deny her when she’s looking at me that way, looking as hurt as I am.

I follow her into the kitchen and sit down at the breakfast bar as she pours me a cup of steaming milky masala tea. I watch as she adds a huge helping of sugar for me, my heart aching.

Mom rests her elbows against the kitchen counter and looks at me, her expression guarded. “So, Adrian Astor came to our house yesterday.”

“I know. You called me to tell me about it, remember? And so did Asha.”

She nods and purses her lips. “What do you like about that man?”

I take a sip of my tea, both of us ignoring the way my hands tremble. “I like the way he makes me feel, Mom,” I tell her honestly. “He makes me feel like there’s nothing I can’t do, nothing I don’t deserve. He makes me feel whole and worthy of everything my heart desires. When I’m with him, I’m truly happy, in a way I’ve never been before.”

“What about his kids? Are you ready to handle teenagers?”

I smile and shake my head. “Is anyone ever ready for that? What I do know is that I genuinely love those kids. They aren’t mine, but they feel like they are. Things won’t be easy, and there are going to be times that they’ll hate me. When they first found out about Adrian and me, they were so upset they wouldn’t speak to me for weeks. They’re children, Mom. Of course it won’t be easy, but I’m getting into this knowing that. I have no illusions of a perfect life and a perfect family that never falls apart. I know there are going to be times that things will get messy, and there will be times that I might envy them for not being able to have as much of Adrian’s time as I want to have. I know that. I’m only human, Mom. I know there are going to be times that I’ll mess up, or they will and I’ll get hurt. But it’d be the same if they were mine.”

Mom nods, her gaze thoughtful. “What about his ex-wife?”

I shake my head. “She’s… problematic. She’s not happy to see Adrian move on, and she’s making that very clear. What I can tell you is that Adrian and I have handled everything she’s thrown at us as best as we could, and we’ll continue to do so.”

“So you’ve thought this through, huh? You’re sure about him?”

I nod. “Yes. I have no doubts.”

Mom sighs and looks away. “You know what he said about you when he came to ask for your hand?”

I shake my head, curious.

“That he’s going to make sure that you always feel appreciated and cared for, and that he’ll always remind you that what you think are your flaws aren’t flaws at all,” she says, pausing. “He also said he’s willing to learn about our traditions.”

I smile to myself, my heart warming.

“That wasn’t what convinced me to give him a chance, though. It was his children. You know what they said about you?”

I shake my head.

“They said they already see you as their mother, that they’re okay with having two mothers. You might love those kids, Leia… but they love you just as much in return.”

Considering everything the kids and I just went through, that surprises me. “They said that?”

Mom nods. “They even brought your dad Star Wars toys. He’d never admit it, but those two stole his heart instantly.”

My eyes fill with tears, and I sniff. Though things have been better between the kids and I, I didn’t think we’d fully recover. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe we’re doing much better than I thought we were.

“I still don’t like this, Leia,” Mom says. “I don’t want you to have to deal with kids that aren’t your own, or an ex-wife that might try to mess with you through the kids. I don’t want any of that for you, but I can see that you love Adrian. I can see that he loves you too.”

She hesitates and taps her finger on the kitchen counter, the way she does when she’s thinking.

“I don’t like it,” she repeats. “But you have my blessing.”

I stare at her in shock. “What?”

Mom smiles at me and nods. “He’s a good man. He’s not the kind of person I’d have picked for you, but so long as you’re happy, then that’s all that matters. I nearly lost you once when you were diagnosed with cancer. Just having you sitting opposite me right now is a miracle, Leia. If this is what you want, if you’re sure about him, then you have my support. I cannot promise you that I can convince your father, but I will try.”

She places her hand over mine and squeezes. “Just be happy, okay? That’s all I want for you.”

I nod, a tear running down my cheek. “Thank you, Mom. This… thank you.”

She smiles and tips her head to the tea on the counter. “Finish your tea, then come help me make parathas for tonight. Your sister fired you anyway, might as well put you to work.”

I suppress a smile and nod, my heart warming. I didn’t expect this at all. I was so certain she’d put appearances above my happiness, but she didn’t.