Chapter 16: Why I Can’t Kill Her? (1)

I stared at him for a little while longer before quietly closing my eyes. Since tomorrow I had another busy day ahead of me, I decided to just go to bed now.

Goodnight, Kyle.

*****

As he lay on the bed, Kyle sensed how calm the air had become and the peaceful morning waiting to dawn over the horizon. The gentle rustling of leaves swaying to and fro in the wind was the only other sound interrupting the otherwise quiet bedchamber.

Yes, he wasn’t asleep. He had only pretended to be asleep since the situation last night prevented him from resting adequately. As a result, he felt dizzy and his mind was starting to spin.

He remembered how he had almost killed Jean a year and a half ago. There had been a maid who ignored the mansion’s only rule and wandered up to the fifth floor. Kyle had nearly murdered her, but Jean quickly intervened and tried to stop him. In the process, the loyal butler had been grievously injured.

“I’m… fine, master. Please don’t worry about me.”

Afterward, Jean fell into a coma and was in critical condition for two weeks, teetering between the border of life and death. It was nothing short of a miracle that he eventually recovered from his wounds.

Kyle hated the fact that he had almost killed someone so close to him with his own hands. He had difficulty accepting how badly the curse was affecting him, and in one last effort to salvage whatever was left, he became determined to prevent himself from needlessly killing anyone else.

Since then, Kyle became feeble against Jean. It was hard for him to refuse Jean’s requests because of his remorse over that incident; but recently, Kyle felt something changing within him.

Though he did acquiesce to some things, there were many others that he couldn’t agree to, even if Jean begged him to. Moreover, his human feelings were slowly fading away, so his guilt over the incident had long worn off. As of late, Kyle had stopped killing simply because he felt he no longer gained any value from doing so. His few, remaining human emotions had helped to block his urges, but even those were growing weaker by the day.

This time, however, he was sure that something was different. For the past few days, he had agreed to Jean’s requests several times in a row, even though he knew that the butler was just faking his illness. Further, all those requests were related to Riddel.

I’ve tried to kill her.

Kyle recalled what happened during their walk yesterday. When the dragon’s feelings moved to take over his human side, he would often be swayed by an insatiable need to recklessly slaughter the people before him. At the time, he was determined to kill Riddel, but to his surprise, he found that he couldn’t bring himself to actually carry out the deed.

I can’t kill that irritating, annoying woman.

Strange emotions swirled within him whenever Riddel was around. Kyle noticed that he had started feeling this way since a while ago when she tried to be close to him instead of avoiding him as he had ordered her to.

Why am I feeling like this?

Riddel Spencer was someone who had nothing to do with him. Their relationship was one based on contract and nothing more. Also, the contract was a simple decision he had made a few months ago—when his human emotions were stronger than they were now—after the emperor had ordered him to marry.

But what’s happening to me? Why can’t I kill this woman?

No, it can’t be… There’s nothing that I can’t kill.

Kyle’s eyes flared red like blood as his body was filled with murderous intent. He opened his eyes and got up from the bed, walking to the side where Riddel slept soundly. His hands reached toward her peaceful form.

This woman has no value to me. She’s worthless, which is why I should eliminate her.

Only

Kyle could have easily killed Riddel right now by freezing her neck, yet why did his fingers refuse to do so?

“… Eung,” Riddel instinctively groaned and moved her body.

Is she awake?

The Archduke was unconsciously relieved when he realized that she was only sleep talking.

Why? Why should I be relieved about that?

The extreme contradiction in his own feelings threw Kyle into confusion.

Why can’t I kill her?

Moonlight from the window illuminated Riddel’s face. Her golden hair and alabaster skin glimmered under the silvery rays. Kyle’s face burned like flames and his body unconsciously became warm. Kyle’s thoughts were full of murderous intent towards her, but he couldn’t kill her. There were indescribable feelings in his heart, blocking his commands. He couldn’t even bring himself to touch her. As if mesmerized, Kyle couldn’t shake his eyes from Riddel.