Chapter 9 - Photo of Sabine

The picture on the side is how I imagine Sabine to look :)

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Chapter Nine

Hearing that question broke Daniel’s heart. Of course she did not recognise him; she had never seen him before aside from the day she was born.

He let go of her hand and sat them in his lap. He decided not to answer her question, if he did so truthfully he would scare her and he refused to lie. “How are you feeling, Sabine?” he asked softly.

She coughed and lay back on her pillow lethargically. “I’m very ill; Miss Porter says I have to stay in bed.”

“Miss Porter is right; you must stay in bed and rest,” Daniel replied carefully.

“What is your name?” she asked, still trying to decipher who he was.

“Daniel,” he answered truthfully.

Sabine’s eyelids drooped as she listened and before she could respond she fell back asleep.

For hours Daniel stared at her little chest to make sure she was breathing. The doctor came and went every few hours to give her medicine and help her relieve herself. Miss Porter sponged her down every so often and then brought him food and drink but he would not eat.

After two days of sitting by her bed, the doctor finally said that the ulcers in her throat were slowly starting to heal. Her temperature had come down a little and the rash was clearing from her skin. Dr Remington told him that they were not out of the woods just yet but she was on the right track.

Sabine was able to eat solid food, and Miss Porter had brought her favourite food for her to eat from the kitchens. Daniel learned that her favourite food was treacle tart smothered in fresh cream. He liked knowing things like that about her.

Daniel had retreated to the rocking chair in the corner of the room when Dr Remington and Miss Porter were treating her and then moved to the chair beside her bed at night so that he could hold her hand.

Thanks to her youth she was still naïve enough not to question the presence of a strange man in her bedchamber. She treated him as if he were a friend and when she was not sleeping and feeling stronger they would have conversations.

Daniel cursed his cowardice. He should not have been afraid of the house. Every place he’d been or ever would go would hold negative memories for him because he let them. He had to power through it and be strong. He had every reason to because of the beautiful little girl in her bed.

He’d been given the strength thanks to Jane. She’d made him see sense finally. She’d given him the ability to prioritise and care about others again.

When Sabine had fallen asleep with four days until she was in the clear, Daniel got up from the chair next to her bed and walked over to her desk. He picked up a clean piece of parchment, a quill and an inkwell and settled down to write.

Jane,

I fell as though I owe you an apology for leaving without an explanation the other night at the military salute. I also write to say ‘thank you’.

You may or may not have noticed my absence but it was because I received an urgent letter from Sabine’s governess at Southerby House. The letter informed me of a grave illness that Sabine had been diagnosed with – scarlet fever. I’m sure you have heard of many cases of the child killing disease and you knew why I had to go straight away. The good news is that she seems to be getting a little better each day.

The reason I wish to thank you is because I knew exactly what to do when I read the letter, I knew where I had to be and I wasn’t afraid, and I owe that all to you. I think I just needed to say everything aloud, say the story, say what had killed Eleanor, I needed to hear it from someone else that I was not to blame, and you have shown me that, Jane.

Sabine does not yet know who I am but I will tell her, I don’t know when, but I will. She is so beautiful, even covered in rashes as she is. You should see her ... in fact, you should visit. I want to thank you properly in person. I extend an open invitation to Southerby House to you and your family to stay as long as you like.

I would ask your help one last time, if you could write me back telling me the correct thing to say when I tell Sabine who I truly I am I would be forever in your debt.

Yours,

Daniel.

He folded the letter and put it in his jacket pocket. He would seal it in the morning and then send it to London. He hoped Jane would accept the offer, he didn’t even mind if she brought her family, he just would like to get to know her better. She spent an entire morning listening to him; he would’ve liked to have spent several mornings listening to her.

He crossed the room back over to his chair and sat down. Sabine was asleep and turned towards him. With her eyes closed she looked like such an innocent, but when she was awake she showed such strength and determination, it proved to him that she was not going to give into the disease without a fight.

“My Lord,” said a voice at the door. He turned his head to see Miss Porter standing there with a steaming cup of tea. Miss Porter was a woman in her late fifties who had cared for Eleanor when she was younger as well. Eleanor had insisted that she be hired to care for the baby when he or she was born as well. Daniel didn’t mind, Eleanor had turned out so perfectly that he knew he could trust Miss Porter with his child.

“Come in, Miss Porter,” he smiled slightly. He had been very short with his staff the past few days, the stress and fear was getting to him and he wasn’t very patient.

Miss Porter entered the room and walked over to him, holding the tea cup out to him. Daniel noticed how she hadn’t changed very much in the five years since he’d seen her – granted she arrived a few days before the baby was born so he didn’t remember her that well. Her black hair was still very much that same colour and her green eyes were still sharp and aware.

“Thank you,” he smiled as he accepted the cup. The both stared at the sleeping Sabine for awhile before either of them spoke. “Thank you for writing me, Miss Porter. It was right that you did and I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, my Lord, I’m glad you returned. Sabine needs her father around.” Daniel was sure there was a double meaning to her sentence and he agreed.

“You’ve done a wonderful job with her, Miss Porter, when she speaks to me she is polite and courteous, just as she should be,” Daniel said, trying to compliment the woman.

“Thank you, my Lord,” Miss Porter sniffed. Daniel knew that he would have to prove himself to Miss Porter, as with a lot of the staff. Miss Porter would naturally be protective of Sabine as she had been her primary caregiver for five years.

The next day Sabine’s rash on her body had faded a little more. Daniel didn’t want to get carried away as according to Dr Remington had said that nine days was the usual amount of time for when one could consider themselves in the clear and Sabine still had three days to go and he could not wish those days to pass faster.

He’d visited his old study for the first time in five years which was extremely daunting. It was just as he remembered it. His books and newspapers and even his whiskey collection were exactly where he’d left them. He managed his estate from afar on his travels so he didn’t technically need to worry about that side of things. He found what he was after though, the Southerby seal. He melted a small amount of wax before stamping the letter to Jane closed with the seal.

After he’d made sure it was in safe hands he made his way back up to Sabine’s bedchamber. This trip everyday always involved him walking past his old bedchamber. That was one milestone that Jane’s help had not aided him in overcoming. If there was a way to remove that room from the house he would do it. He knew that he would never step foot in that room again.

When he returned to Sabine’s bedchamber she was sitting up against the headboard as Dr Remington inspected her throat.

“How is her throat?” Daniel asked. “Are the ulcers gone?”

“No,” Dr Remington replied as he felt her forehead with his palm. “They’re still there, but healing, aren’t they Lady Sabine?” he asked Sabine. “Why don’t you tell papa how much better you’re feeling?”

Sabine gasped and her big, blue eyes flashed to him in horror. “Papa?” she gasped.

It had been a week since Daniel had disappeared from London and Jane was very worried. She’d gone to the spot that they’d met in Hyde Park just in case he turned up then but he didn’t. She’d hoped he wasn’t in trouble or injured or anything but she couldn’t be sure.

It was Saturday and Emilia and Sebastian had rejected an invitation to a ball at Lady Elizabeth’s parent’s, the Duke and Duchess of Pembroke, house as James had come down with a temperature and they didn’t want to leave him when he was ill.

She sat in the drawing room immersed in ‘Pride and Prejudice’. She found it truly compelling and she really identified with Elizabeth Bennet, even though she was a lot more sensible than Jane, she still held a very logical view on the world which Jane found quite refreshing.

She looked up when the door opened as Emilia walked in holding a letter. “Can you tell me why Lord Southerby is writing to you?” she asked in a confused tone. She came over to the settee and sat down beside Jane. Jane set her book aside and accepted the letter. She turned it over to see that it was indeed from Daniel at ‘Southerby House’.

She gasped as she broke the seal and unfolded the letter. “He went back!” she said more to herself than to Emilia. Her eyes quickly read the letter and her heart sunk. Sabine was ill with scarlet fever. She’d lost a childhood friend to that when she was about seven years old. Catherine wouldn’t allow her to visit as scarlet fever was highly infectious, especially in children.

She was relieved when he read that Sabine was getting better. She did not think Daniel would be able to resurface from grief if he lost his daughter as well.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Emilia pressed.

“Daniel’s daughter has been diagnosed with scarlet fever,” Jane replied as she read on.

Emilia gasped in horror. “Scarlet fever? That is terrible! I did not even know he had a daughter.”

She paused as she read his invitation. She did not know what to make of it. Should she accept and just arrive on the doorstep and meet a daughter that Daniel didn’t even know himself.

When she’d finished the letter she handed it to Emilia to read as she needed to think. She was worried sick about Sabine and Daniel, but she did not know where she stood with him.

When Emilia had finished the letter she exhaled sadly. “That is every parent’s worst nightmare,” she shook her head. “I can’t imagine how he is feeling.”

“I know, but the good news is Sabine is healing,” Jane said positively. She would definitely be adding the little girl to her prayers that evening.

“Janey, can I ask you a question?” Emilia asked softly.

“Yes.”

“What is he talking about when he says that you’ve helped him?” she asked.

Jane turned to look at her worried sister – in – law. “He is not so much of a rake as you think,” Jane said sincerely. “He told me everything. He told me how his wife died from eclampsia giving birth to Sabine and how he was heartbroken. He couldn’t return to Southerby House until after I’d counselled him. We’re friends I think.”

Emilia’s jaw dropped as she looked at the letter again. “Well, he doesn’t sound like a rake in this letter,” she said as she tried to sound nice. “But there is no way I am taking my children anywhere near that house when there is a child there with scarlet fever. I will pray for that little girl but I have to put my children first.”

Jane nodded. “I can understand that,” she smiled. “But what would you say if I went alone?”

Emilia looked like she really wanted to say ‘no’. A thin line formed between her brows as she frowned. “You were supposed to have a season with us, Janey.”

“I know, but do you seriously think any respectable man is going to want me when there are a hundred other women in the room who are much prettier than me. I was perfectly happy being a spinster and helping mama on the farm,” Jane exclaimed.

Emilia reluctantly nodded. “I can’t very well tell you what to do, can I?”

Jane smiled and shook her head. “Will you, Sebastian and the children come with me if I send word that Sabine is healthy?”

Emilia nodded. “I suppose we can, we haven’t been on a trip together in awhile and Southerby House is in Nottingham so I’ll be able to call on Kassandra, I haven’t seen her since wintertime.”

“Yes,” Jane said enthusiastically. “I haven’t seen her in awhile either, it will be good for us all to catch up.”

Emilia rolled her eyes. “You needn’t twist my arm any further, Janey, just send word when it’s safe and we shall join you. The children will miss you when you’re gone.”

Jane nodded, smiling. “They will, and I’ll miss them too. But it shan’t be long before we are reunited. But if you’ll excuse me, I need to reply to Daniel’s letter.” She stood up to go and find some parchment and a quill but before she could exit Emilia stopped her.

“You call him by his first name?” Emilia said in disbelief.

Jane bit her lip. “We’re friends,” she repeated.

“Be careful, Janey,” Emilia warned. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Jane shook her head and went off to find some parchment to write on. The only way she could get hurt was if she was emotionally invested, and she wasn’t, or was she?

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The next chapter we'll see an expedition as well as what happens next in Sabine's realisation that Daniel is her father :D

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