Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Ren

I miss my older brother. Evan graduated high school when I was in my freshman year. Since then, I barely see him. Our parents are busy and if we're lucky, we get to see them twice a year. Even on holidays, they're schedule is pretty hectic. Evan comes to visit around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sometimes, he'd come by on my birthday.

I understand, he has a life too. In fact, he's getting married soon to his long-term girlfriend, Cassie. She's the nicest person I've met and you never fail to smile around her. It's just who she is. She smiles a lot, she's funny, and it's not surprising how Evan fell in love with her.

I grab my laptop and open Skype. I click on Evan's account and it rings for a few seconds before he answers. "Hey big bro," I smile at the screen.

He looks at me with sleepy eyes and his hair is going every place. He gives me a lazy smile, "Hey little sis." His voice is raspy and deep. I think I just woke him up.

"I woke you, didn't I?" I smile at him sheepishly.

He shakes his head. "No, I'm glad you called." From the screen, I see him sitting up on the bed and fixing his laptop to get a better position. "How are you? I haven't talked to you in ages."

I shrug, "A lot of things happened." I tell him everything from the very start. I tell him how Megan and I aren't roommates anymore and I'm stuck with Austin. I tell him about my first party, the friends I met, and the cliff. I tell him about Megan and Travis' accident and his expression shows concern.

"How is she?" he asks. Megan is like another sister to him. Megan hung out with me a lot and when Evan was around, we'd all hang out together. They got really close, if you haven't already know.

"She's getting discharged today. We're picking her up later," I say.

He nods, "That's good. Send her my regards, will you?" and I nod in return. "It's good to see you fine rather bawling in tears. Honestly, I thought you wouldn't even leave your room after the news." He laughs and I furrow my brows in confusion. What is he talking about?

"What news?" I ask slowly and his laughs falter. He stops laughing and clenches his jaw. He clears his throat.

"You don't know?" he looks at me like I was supposed to know about what he was talking about. But to his disappointment, I shake my head. He sighs, rubbing his nape. "Shit. I thought mom would have been the one to tell you."

"Tell me what, Evan."

"Dad left mom," he says. My heart drops. "He was actually cheating on mom a few months back but he finally decided to leave mom."

I feel my eyes starting to water. My hands start to shake. How can this happen? I shake my head. "It can't be, dad loves mom." I tell him.

"Dad loved mom," he corrects. "Now he loves some twenty year old."

I grab the closest thing to me, my book, and throw it at the wall. Evan flinches when he hears the book bang on the wall. Tears start rolling down my eyes and I hug my legs to my chest, resting my head on my knees.

"Ren," Evan calls me softly. I keep my eyes shut and continue crying. "Ren, look at me." I ignore him and he calls me again. "Look at me."

I open my eyes slowly and my vision goes blur because of my tears. I look at Evan. "Ren, I can't be there to comfort you, but listen to me. It sucks, I know. You were dad's favorite, I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now. I can get the next flight to your town and I'll get there tomorrow, if you want-"

"Don't. I'm fine," I nod my head.

"Okay, but Ren, everything will be okay. I know it will. It will always be okay. You have me, mom, Megan, your new friends, and even that annoying roommate of yours. You have all of us if you need someone to talk to," he adds.

"I miss you, E." I start crying again and he shushes me softly.

"I'll come to visit soon, alright?" he gives me a reassuring smile. "I love you, Ren, remember that."

I nod, "I love you too, Evan."

"Take care," he smiles and he ends the video call. I sigh and shut my laptop, putting it at the side.

I feel weak. And useless. I get off the bed but trip on my comforter and fall on the ground. The tears continue to roll down my cheeks. I lean against my bed and hug myself, rubbing my arms. I close my eyes and let the darkness consume me.

Why did you leave us dad?

I hear the door open but I don't bother to open my eyes. I just don't care anymore. I continue sobbing and I feel arms wrapping around me. It pulls me close and my face hits someone's chest. I sob harder into the stranger's shirt, while he or she rub circles on my back. I breathe in and Austin's cologne invades my nostrils. I open my eyes and see that I'm crouched between his legs with his arms around me.

"Austin."

"Shh," he pulls me closer and continues rubbing my back. I close my eyes and force myself to stop crying. I lean back on his chest and the beating of his heart calms me. I focus on his heart and without knowing it, I had stopped crying.

"You can talk to me," he says softly.

I open my eyes but I don't move. I stay in his arms and clench my jaw. "My dad left me," my voice croaks from all the crying. "He left us."

I cough a little and he pats my back lightly. "I thought he loved us, Austin. They were happy...or at least, I thought they were."

"It's all going to be okay. I promise you, Ren." He hugs me tight. "It's going to be okay."

I chuckle lightly, "That's what my brother said."

I feel him smiling down at me. "That's because it's true."

"Thank you, Austin." I pull away to look at him and my expression shifts to worry. His eyes are red from crying too. But it doesn't look like he's been crying with me, his cheeks and eyes are dry. However, he did cry.

"Austin-" I reach to grab his face but he looks away.

"Ren, don't."

I sigh and drop my hand. We're still in the same position; me in between his legs and him leaning against my bed with his arms around me. He doesn't look at me so hesitantly bring my hand up and touch his jaw, turning his head so his green eyes are looking down at my brown ones.

"You can talk to me," I whisper. Something flashes in his eyes and his expression softens. He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes. I tilt my head in confusion before realizing, he's fighting back his own tears. Without thinking, I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight. He doesn't move for a while until he finally wraps his arms around me again.

"Just cry," I tell him and feel him shaking his head.

"I don't cry." His eyes are red from crying, he knows very well not to lie to me, but I don't push him. "Everyone needs to let go once in a while."

He holds me tighter and rests his head on my shoulder. He's quiet. I feel his heart beating fast and I give him a squeeze. "Just let go," I say softly. And with those three words, he lets it all go. His body shakes as he cries on my shoulder.

I never pictured Austin Lancer crying in front me more the less cry on my shoulder. I rub his back and let him cry. While I was crying, he was strong for me. Although he was crying before that, he had to be strong for me. Now, I have to do the same. I have to be the strong one for him.

Minutes go by when he pulls away. I reach his face and wipe a tear from his cheek. I keep my hand on his cheek and he stares down at me. His eyes are now puffy from crying. Actually, both of our eyes are puffy from crying. He grabs my hand, removing it from his face and holds it. He looks down at our hands and he intertwines it.

My hands fits perfectly in his. It feels secure. He clears his throat, "My friend at the hospital, she's in a coma."

I bring my free hand to my mouth. "Austin, I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head. "It's been years and she still hasn't woken up. Money gave me the extra years for the hospital to keep her there, but the doctor called a few hours ago..." he starts to cry again and I squeeze his hand. "If she doesn't wake up before the month ends, they have to...they'll...fuck." He lets go of my hand and buries his face in his hands, sobbing.

I don't know what to say. Perhaps because there really isn't anything to say. The doctors are going to kill his friend. What should I say? That it will all be okay? That we'll just wait for some kind of miracle that she'd wake up before the month ends? That's a 50/50 chance of her waking up. And he knows that.

He's going to lose her.

"I'm going to visit her when we go and get Megan and Travis," he says, dropping his hands and looking at me. "Will you come with me?"

I'm taken aback by his invitation, but immediately I agree. An hour later, Alanna, Adam, Austin and I head to the hospital. We all go in two separate cars. Alanna carpool with Adam while Austin rides with me.

Megan sees us and runs directly into my arms. "Gosh it's good to be out," Megan says in glee. I laugh and pull away with my hands on her shoulder. "I missed you."

I smile at her, "I missed you more."

She turns to see Alanna and lets go of me to hug her. Travis is with the guys talking and take this moment to get along. Megan fills us in with her late night hospital adventures with Travis. Apparently, this hospital is haunted and is full of ghosts. Her words, not mine.

The guys later join us. "Who's up for some Chinese food?" Adam slings his arm around me and Alanna. "My treat." He adds.

"Count me in, man." Travis pats his back. "Hospital food sucks ass."

"I'm sick of hospital food. I'm game," Megan pipes in.

"I want some Chinese," Alanna shrugs.

They all look at Austin and I. I shrug and turn to Austin. "Count me and Ren out," he looks at the guys. "We have an errand to run."

Megan narrows his eyes at me and Austin. "You guys don't have an errand to run," she states.

"Where are you guys going?" Travis asks.

"We need to visit someone here, alright?" Austin shoves his hands in his pockets before turning on his heels, walking away. I sigh and turn to them.

"We'll catch up," I tell them. "Promise."

They all leave and I jog to catch up with Austin. I walk side by side him until he stops and turns towards the door. He doesn't move, but stares at the door. I look at him then at the door then back at him.

"Are you trying to open it with your mind?" I ask him and frowns down at me.

He grabs the knob and turns it before pushing the door open. He lets me go in first before he follows behind me, closing the door. My eyes turn towards the hospital bed and I see a girl sleeping. I walk closer to get a better look at her. She's no older than am I. She has long brown hair that falls until her chest. I furrow my brows at her. She looks like...

"You." I look at Austin. "She looks just like you."

Austin grabs two stools from the side and plants it beside the hospital bed. He sits down and I join him. I stare at him, waiting for him to say something. But he doesn't. He looks at the girl on the bed and takes her hand in his. He brings it up to his mouth and kisses her hand.

"Hey there little sis," he smiles at her.

Little sis? I turn to look at the girl again. It makes sense. She has the same hair color, the same facial features, and I bet she has the same eyes with Austin.

"I hope you don't mind me bringing a friend along," he turns to me and I offer a small smile before turning to his sister.

"Hi uhm..."

"Amanda."

"Hi Amanda," I smile at her. "I'm Ren, your brother's roomie."

Austin sighs and rubs her hand with his thumb. He looks at me and opens his mouth to say something but then he closes his mouth. "What?" I ask.

He shakes his head and turns back to Amanda. "She ran away when she was fifteen and came back when she was seventeen. Amanda, Adam, Travis and I went to a party a day after her arrival, you know, to celebrate. It was getting late and I was wasted. Amanda wanted to go home so went to look for a ride. The next day, I find out she got into an accident."

I furrow my brows and look around the room, thinking. Then it hits me. I look back at Austin. "It was Adam, wasn't it?" I ask. "Adam was the one driving."

A tear rolls down his face and he quickly wipes it away. "She was my responsibility and I got wasted, Ren." He turns to me and his eyes are full of regret and guilt. "What kind of a brother am I? She's in a coma because of me. It's been years and now they're going to kill her. And it's all because of me."

I grab his other hand and squeeze it tight. "It is not your fault. No one would have expected the accident. You were all there celebrating her arrival, you were having fun. You were happy. How can you blame yourself? It is nobody's fault; not Amanda's, not Adam's and definitely not yours."

He looks back at Amanda and sighs, "I can't lose her again."

We stay quiet for a while until Austin starts humming. I recognize that tune. He starts singing and immediately, I know the song. Fix You by Coldplay.

I remember hearing his voice for the first time. It made me weak on my knees. And now, I was feeling the same thing. I watch him sing to her and I'm in complete and utter awe. He loves her, deeply and truly. He loves her like how Evan loves me.

Austin finishes singing and kisses her hand once more. "Please wake up, Mands. Please." He lets out a breath and slowly stands up. I start to stand when he gestures for me to stay. "I'm just going to get us some sandwiches."

I nod, "Okay."

He leaves me and sister alone and I let out a breath I didn't think I was holding. I look around Amanda's bed and see different machines. One monitor beeps softly, showing her pulse rate. Other machines have wires and tubes attached to Amanda.

"Hey Amanda. So honestly, I don't really know what to say. I just found out about you like just a few minutes ago. But what I do know is, Austin loves you. Your brother loves you. And right now, he needs you." I take her hand in mine and rub my thumb across the back of her hand. "If you can hear me, Amanda. You need to wake up. It's been too long. Please, wake up."

"When I found out that I was rooming with your brother, my whole world fell apart. That time, I'd do anything to not share a room with him. But that was before I got to know him a little more. I got to know him personally. Your brother is a caring guy. He cares about his friends and he cares about you-"

I hear the door open and I let go of her hand. Austin appears beside me and hands me a sandwich. "Did I miss anything?" he asks, glancing at Amanda.

I shake my head, "Just me bonding with your sister."

He narrows his eyes at me before nodding, "Well we better go and meet up with the others. Adam has been calling me nonstop." He walks over to Amanda's side and bends down to kiss her on her forehead. "I'll see you soon, alright?"

I stand up and grab her hand, giving it a light squeeze. "It was great meeting you, Amanda."