Chapter Twenty Five

The first memory I was flung into was a slightly familiar one. I remembered this point in time. This had happened after my first 'date' with Idris. I had decided to try and avoid him and focus on my relationship with Henry.

And because I was avoiding Idris, I had been spending more time studying at home. That's where I was in this memory, in my home, hunched over my desk, studying as well as I could. I had kept zoning out, my mind retracing my prior night with Idris.

Regardless of how the date had ended that night, I had had fun. And more than anything, my mind had been stuck on that conversation I'd had with Idris in his car.

He had admitted to wanting to kiss me and that scene replayed over and over as I tried to study. Until I couldn't take it anymore and I stood up to take a break. However, when I took a step, my body suddenly felt immensely light. Everything blurred before me and my heart began to palpitate in an abnormally fast rhythm.

I swayed as my heart went into a frenzy, beating faster and faster and I couldn't stop it, I couldn't control it.

My back had hit the ground and I began to fall unconscious.

I thought I was dying. How this might finally be my end.

"Alix! Alixandria, stay with me." Someone had hauled my body into their warm arms.

"H-henry," his name managed to slip past my lips, but my words slurred as I felt myself slipping into darkness. I had just wanted to comfort him, to let him know I knew he was there for me in my final moments.

Complete darkness clouded my vision and I knew this was it. I felt the familiar peace surrounding me, but something changed. A shock, like bolts of thunder, hit my chest.

I woke up, feeling an odd sense of adrenaline. The sudden low to high made me feel nauseous. The world spun. My vision was blurry and so I closed my eyes, letting the feeling pass.

I wasn't sure what was happening, but I felt a whirlwind of emotions and tears spilt from my eyes, until I felt a warm embrace squeeze me tenderly, reminding me that I wasn't alone.

Henry was here, and he must be as panicked as I was.

"H-henry, I'm so sorry," I whimpered.

He had always been so afraid when this happened to me. It wasn't the first time I had passed out and I could only imagine the fright I put him through.

Nausea settled, I opened my eyes and sucked in a breath at the sight before me.

"Idris?" I paused.

I blinked back several times, thinking that this was an illusion, but he was there. Holding me in my home. Why was he here?

"I-Idris, what are you doing here?" I stuttered out, "And how did you get i–" The question faltered when I caught the heartbroken look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Alixandria. I meant to keep my distance but when I heard your heart stopping I broke in."

"You... you heard my heart stopping?"

He nodded, still holding me tightly as if he were afraid I'd fade away any minute.

"How did you know? I mean, how did you hear my heart?"

He looked away for a moment, hesitant but conflicted. "It doesn't matter, Alix. What matters is that I got to you in time, but I can't let it happen again," he said sternly, "Alix, I need to feed you more of my blood."

More?

Suddenly, my lips came into awareness. I could feel a moisture there, liquidy and almost sweet.

"Idris, did you—?" I felt a sudden weakness.

My heart was threatening to drag me under again.

"Alix, I would have asked you but you were dying. My blood brought you back, but I need to give you more."

"Why would I need your blood? Are...are you drunk or something?" I tried to make sense of what he was saying.

He took my chin in his hand, gently stroking my face until my eyes were focused on him. His touch was oddly soothing, and involuntarily, I had thought about the fact that I wanted to kiss him.

"Alixandria, let me feed you." He pleaded.

"Feed me?" I frowned. "Your blood? Idris, why would that help?" I shook my head. "I just need my pills and I'll feel better."

"You and I both know those pills aren't working for you."

I sighed, knowing he was right. I rubbed my face and sniffled. "I know," I hated to admit. "But what choice do I have?"

I felt another sudden bout of weakness.

"I am offering you a choice."

"Just...just take me to the hospital."

"And risk losing you to some complicated surgery? No," he shook his head and brought his wrist up to my face, where his blood was flowing in his veins. "My blood can heal you without the need for surgery or pills. So please, Alixandria, let me do this. I don't want to force you."

"I don't understand." I felt like crying.

"I know," Idris opened his mouth and I shuddered in his grasp as his lips parted.

Two sharp incisors protruded from his lips.

"Idris!" I shuffled, but he kept me still.

"Relax," his voice softened into a lulling tone, "Relax." The dark pupils in his eyes widened and my body immediately listened.

"I know you're scared of me, Alixandria, but I know the thought of dying scares you more. So let me help you."

"Why would you want to help me?"

"Because I care about you," He sighed, looking down for a moment. "...because I need you, Alixandria." He abruptly admitted.

I had never expected those words to leave his lips, but they instantly warmed me. I felt my soul dancing in my body, trying to reach for him. The memory of us sitting in his car and him telling me he wanted to kiss me crossed my mind again.

"What are you, Idris?" I whispered more to myself than to him. "You show up telling me you can hear my heart, you have fangs and you're telling me your blood can heal me..." I bit my lip back in thought. "What will happen if I drink your blood?"

"Hopefully, it will heal your heart, and if not, it will keep you healthy enough until I have to feed you again, but Alix you should know something."

"What?"

"Blood-sharing, with me, might have an effect on you."

"Effect? Why?"

"I wish I could tell you, but I think I'd only scare you more."

"Then what should I expect?"

He eyed more for a long moment before he spoke, "Heat, Alixandria. You should expect heat."

But the way he looked at me told me it wasn't the type of heat like a fever. It was a different type of heat, one that would challenge my morals. I contemplated my options. I could either be strong and let Idris heal me or risk possibly dying.

Idris was right...I did want to live. For so long, my heart issues had been stopping me from living my life fully. I wasn't sure why his blood would heal me or if it would even work, but Idris had brought me back when my heart was stopping, so as odd as it was, I believed him.

So I had to be strong.

I nodded my head, "Heal me," I said, swallowing down a tremble, "but on one condition."

"What?"

"You erase my memories after."

His brows furrowed in confusion at my request. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because..." I bit my lip as the truth stirred within me, but Idris needed to know. "...because if I'm honest with myself, my feelings for you aren't exactly platonic and I get the feeling you feel the same. The thing is, I'm with Henry, and I love him, but what we're about to do feels strangely intimate and I can't..." I tried to look for the right words, "I can't—"

"You don't want to live with the guilt." He finished for me.

I thought he was upset, until I felt his gentle touch below my chin. "You think about me?"

My heart thundered in my chest from the intensity of his gaze.

"Yes," I swallowed thickly. "B-but I don't want this to influence my feelings for you."

"I would never ask you for anything in return, short cake. If I help you, it is because I want to...whether you return my affections or not. So very well," He let me go, "I will erase your memories, but only if you ask me to." He brought his wrist to his lips and without a second thought, he bit into it, offering me his blood. I watched as it ran down his forearm.

He was literally offering me the blood that ran through his veins. Something pulled me closer to him and my lips were on his skin the next instant, his blood pooling into my mouth.

His blood was warm, sweet but strong. I felt my body react to it. Those shocks of thunder danced within my chest, butterflies swarmed in my belly, my entire body hummed. I felt stronger, warmer, vibrant...and needy.

I took more of his blood, unable to stop myself.

"Alix—" Idris called me.

His voice sounded different for some reason, like audible sex to my ears. It made my body tremble with desire.

Mine.

"Alix."

Mate...Our mate! My soul screamed at me and I only realized I'd removed his wrist from my lips when I caught myself panting in his grasp.

I felt like I was on fire.

I met his silver green eyes and felt something snap within me. My body moved on instinct, seeking relief from the one person it desired. I'd pushed Idris to the floor and straddled him.

His hands went around my waist, mouthing something about stopping, but I couldn't hear him. Instead, I pressed my lips against his.

Fireworks ignited at the connection. It felt so right, so good to kiss him. I wanted more, I couldn't get enough. I kissed him deeper and this time, Idris responded. Following a groan, as if he'd given up holding back, he cinched my waist, pressing me tightly against him and took over the kiss.

My body melted into his, feeling a rush of euphoria enter my veins.

"Idris," I moaned.

"Stop me, Alixandria. Stop me before I take you and make you all mine."

Why would I stop him? Why should I back away and—

Henry.

I pushed away from Idris, as shame overflowed within me. What the hell had I done?

"E-erase my memories, Idris," I begged, feeling the tears of guilt in my eyes.

"Alix—"

"Please," I cried. "This isn't me. I'm so sorry. I let my emotions take over. This... this—"

"Hey," he sat up, taking my hands in his. "I understand," He whispered.

"I understand," he repeated as I sobbed.

I closed my eyes, feeling the depth of my betrayal.

With a simple word, Idris had made me forget and with that memory now back I understood why I had asked him to compel me to forget. Other forgotten memories swarmed my vision and they were each the same.

When my heart got bad, Idris would feed me and I'd lose control.

The vivid memories finally left me. My eyes widened, my chest felt heavy with the weight of the revelations. The room seemed to close in on me as I blinked.

Idris watched me closely, concern etched on his face.

"Alixandria, are you alright?" he asked, reaching out to steady me.

I took a shaky breath, attempting to compose myself. "I...I can't believe I almost died. And you gave me your blood. You kept me safe."

Idris said nothing, but his gaze was reassuring. My guilt bubbled up, and I felt the need to apologize for what I'd put him through. He had just told me how the pull is capable of killing and I had not only rejected him, but tempted him.

"I'm sorry for how I acted, for losing control with you," I confessed, avoiding his eyes.

"Well, it was hard," he said nonchalantly. "But it wasn't your fault, Alix. We are mates, after all. Blood-sharing just made you feel it stronger."

"Is that why I can feel it stronger now that my memories are back?" I asked, feeling a growing heat moving through my body.

Idris leaned in close, "Do you?" His voice was laced with a tinge of hope.

I nodded, slightly embarrassed, but I felt the connection between us palpable. "Yes, I can feel it. Like if it's this living thing inside me, drawing me to you."

He gently cupped my face in his hands, his eyes locked onto mine. "Alixandria," he whispered, the air between us charged.

As our gazes held, I felt the pull between us become undeniable. It was like a vine, bringing us closer, and closer, until his lips hovered just inches from mine. The air crackled with anticipation, and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my skin,

With all my memories back, all that desire converged in the air around us. Idris closed the remaining distance, capturing my lips with his tenderly.

He picked me up into his arms and I felt the world spin around us as he carried me into a secluded room. The space smelt of him, warming me further. He gently lowered me into a bed and hovered above me.

The sensation of being held by him was both thrilling and comforting.

He deepened our kiss, moving his tongue like his hands began to explore my body. His lips began to move with a gentle urgency, and I responded in kind, until there was nothing left between us but our skin.

The room faded away, and all that existed was the warmth of his embrace and the intoxicating taste of his kiss.