CH. 10 Letting someone in

CH.10 Letting someone in

(Ben POV)

"I'll tell you one day, I promise. If whatever happens to us ends up in a successful relationship, I'll tell you." I said.

"That's fine with me," Jesse said, smiling sweetly.

He kissed me again before turning his attention to the TV. I was going to have to get used to this.

I could feel my face getting heated, so I avoided it as I continued to eat while watching TV with him.

I don't know if anyone has ever felt what I felt, to wonder why someone was suddenly talking to them, showing them interest, and hanging out with them.

I wasn't the only one who had gone through this feeling; I'm sure some people could relate to what I was saying.

Right?

But I had no idea what to do; this was all new. It was sad and stupid to admit, but I didn't have that many people I considered friends. I never had any boyfriends or even flirted with a guy.

Yes.

I am a virgin, but I didn't mind being a virgin at all whatsoever; I mean, I wanted to do it with someone who was someone who fell for me, who I fell in love with as well.

Just because I was a virgin didn't mean I didn't have reasonable expectations for myself.

It didn't matter if I was a loner; I wanted someone to like me for me and be willing to be with me to get into a physical and emotional relationship.

Some people would call me a hopeless romantic, and I didn't care if I was seen as hopeless. I was allowed at least to think of what I wanted between my partner and me.

I glanced at him, and anyone could see that he was gorgeous.

He had the most beautiful skin I have ever seen, and his body was kept right. He was someone who made sure he took care of his body, and it showed.

I felt my face get heated as thoughts began to run through my head. I needed to stop thinking about this man's body; why was I behaving this way.

I tried to focus on the movie, but the thoughts would not go away. They had me thinking, of course. I know Jesse's a good kisser, obviously from him kissing me, but does that mean he's also good in-.

Okay, I need to stop.

I know for a fact that I would be the first guy he's ever dated, which means he does not have experience in gay sex, and I was a virgin, so what a great pair we were.

I smiled at the thought that if we ever got to that phase, it would be a new experience for both of us.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked me, and I looked up at him, not wanting him to know that I was actually having dirty thoughts about him.

I didn't want to freak him out, and there was no way I was bold enough to say what I was actually thinking.

"Just thinking it's going to be a journey for us, that's all," I said softly.

He rose a brow. "Well, I think of it as a nice adventure and I happen to like adventures. I know I will enjoy this one for sure." He said, going back to watching the TV.

My face was probably pink now. Jesse had a way with words that put you at ease.

When we were done eating, Jesse pulled me into his arms and cuddled me.

I laid my head against his chest. Resting my head against his chest felt terrific; it comforted me.

I was willing to open myself up to him, but of course, I was also scared because I had never done this before. I mean, just the thought of it was scary: letting someone in, letting them get to know you, your likes, your dislikes, what you're scared of, what bothers you, what you enjoy doing, and many more.

Also, you should let them learn about your past and why you're the way you are now.

That was scary, even though I had no friends. I knew I wasn't the only person who had felt like that.

I knew there were people out there who felt the way I felt.

Fingers started running through my hair, and my eyes began to flutter. Jesse started scratching my hair while running his fingers through it.

I found myself letting out a moan that honestly shocked me, but I just couldn't help it because it was something that I had never experienced. It was one of those best feelings, something you didn't want someone doing.

He kept doing it, not saying anything as I fell into bliss.

I could get used to it if he did this all the time. I would love to get this treatment in the morning and at night.

"You like that, don't you?" he asked me in a deep voice, and I whispered yes.

I really liked it.

"I can get used to this." I found myself saying before I could stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

"That's good because I want you too," he said, and I felt him lean in and kiss my neck.

I whimper at the touch; he lifted my head with his hand and brought my lips to his, kissing me.

I let my eyes close as he led the kiss, I kissed him back the best way I could, and a groan came from his mouth as he turned my body around, lifting me up and had me sitting on his lap.

I don't know how he did it or how I got into that position, but I was okay with it.

He stopped kissing me on the lips and lowered his lips on my neck, pressing kisses all over my neck, licking and sucking.

I moaned at the feeling, and he brought my body closer to his.

"I love the sound of your moans." He said while he brought his mouth towards my ear. He nibbled on my ear, which caused me to moan again.

Jesse tugged my head back towards him, bringing his lip back to mine, and I kissed him back with a force I didn't even know I had. I wanted him to feel how much I liked him, to see that I wanted him this way, too.

That I wanted us this way.

We both parted from our kiss moments later to catch our breaths. Jesse still had his eyes closed as he leaned his head against mine.

"You're amazing you know that?" He asked me, and I let out a small laugh.

"Not really," I said, causing Jesse's eyes to open up.

My breath hitched at how he looked, the seriousness in his eyes, and how intense his eye color looked.

"I'm going to show you how amazing you are to me. We're going to be dating, and there won't be a day that goes by that I don't show you how amazing you are," he said to me, and a smile made its way to my face.

"That's a promise." He said.

"Promises get broken sometimes," I whispered. Sadly, it was the truth. I've had promises made to me before that were sadly broken.

"Not this one, you'll see." He said, and I sure hoped he had proved me wrong.

After all, none of the books I've read said letting someone in would be easy.

(*Kassandra Speaks*)

Aww, I think Ben is all of us when we're getting into something new or even when we're getting into a relationship, and someone like Jesse comes along, who is good for us, but because of all the things we have gone through, because of the trust issues we have and the number of times we've gotten hurt, we're scared to let that person in.

Ben and Jesse are what they need from each other. Like Jesse said, this is an adventure, and of course, Jesse is starting to make Ben Feel. Their story is going to get amazing! Just wait, until next time, DOLLS

Give this chapter a VOTE, COMMENT & SHARE.

Xoxoxo

-Kassandra Vivu