The Future

31st December

It's been a while since I saw some sort of significance to the upcoming day.

Actually, it may be the first time.

The efforts I made to enter this school has certainly not gone to waste.

Merely intermingling with students has made a huge difference to me.

And now, as if that was not enough, I have a girlfriend to add on to it.

"So this is the excitement of New year's day?"

Roughly 8 months ago, I entered this school.

I didn't expect much.

I expected a change, but a minor one.

After all, I will just go back to that place inevitably.

My certain end...

But...

Is this, perhaps, the feeling of having fun?

The feeling of wanting to continue life as a student forever?

Or is someone like me simply unable to experience that?

"No..."

After all, she taught me that feelings come naturally, not forcefully.

And that even a shell can be filled with love.

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"You're late, Kiyotaka."

"My bad, I got caught up with my thoughts."

"It's fine," she grabs my hand, "Then, let's go, shall we?"

I've felt the warmth of her hands several times before, yet, every time I have held it feels like the first.

Back then, 5 months ago, she came up to me.

And said the four words that may have changed years.

The life I sought as a student has been sated.

And now, I have another desire.

To spend my life with her.

The 'her' that glistened my perception of life.

"Oh, they're here!"

"You're late! Ayanokoji-kun! Horikita-san!"

"Hirata..."

Half of Class D has gathered late at evening, at around 11 PM.

Students should be asleep at this time, but today would be an exception.

Though this school can be cruel at sometime, it also can be generous.

Even this school has the heart to instil the memories of youth into us.

"Suzune?"

She stood, stationary, with her eyes widened.

"Is something the matter?" I ask.

"No... it's just... there's a lot of people..."

"Well, I suppose there is."

Many people from all years had gathered around. Some may still be asleep, seeing no need to participate in such a useless event. However some are still awake, as they still see some sort of memory they can create at this school.

"Come, we won't see it from here." I hold my hand out.

"Kiyotaka, why did you want to see the fireworks?"

I stand and stare.

Why did I want to see the fireworks?

If I were to answer that question, one year ago, then, I would perhaps be speechless and silent.

However...

"Because this is a memory you will be a part of."

Memories cannot be fully cherished. One cannot fully comprehend the weight of their present, and how dear it would be to them.

In the future, this memory will become a sweet memory.

But if all things go wrong, it will be a bittersweet memory.

However no matter what, it will still be a memory that I will look back on.

When it comes to memories, it is impossible to pass up on.

"I also wanted you to see for yourself, the beauty that you showed me."

Now that the colours of beauty has become apparent to me, I can finally experience the pleasure of living.

Because she taught me that experience.

"Kiyotaka... it's cold..."

"Huh? Even with that many layers?"

"Well..."

Even she can be fragile at times... eh?

I guess I have no choice.

"W-Wha-"

I squeeze her close to me, embracing her figure.

"Now it's fine, right?"

"Well, a little bit..."

"A little bit? The temperature is not so bad today, yet you still are cold?"

"Well..."

"Or, are you worried about something?"

"Worried? Why would I be worried?"

"That I will grow distant?"

"..."

Looks like I hit the spot.

"I guess it's only natural to have such thoughts."

"It's natural...?"

"A human doubts everything around them. That is why they are considered the most intelligent beings on earth, after all."

"There you go again..."

"It's true, isn't it? Doubting everything you see will make you less shocked when that doubt turns into reality."

"Are you saying... that I should doubt you?"

"I'm saying that doubting me is a way humans live. But when that doubt turns into a prior thought, then humans will be relieved."

"So you will remain close to me, is what you're trying to say?"

"That's what I intend."

"Jeez, stop trying to act cool and get to the point."

"It's because I acted cool, that I removed that doubt of yours."

"Huh?" She takes a moment to realize, "You're right..."

"It's going to start in a few minutes. Let's hurry and find a good spot."

She smiles under her scarf, "Let's do that quick then."

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One cannot truly say that their youth was wasted, nor perfect.

But, just how close am I to attaining the elusive 'perfect'?

I still have years to go until I become an adult.

And I may have wasted a few years of my youth beforehand.

But, the 3 years of  high school can be believed as making up one's youth.

Even though I still have the uncertain future of expulsion, and the uncertainties of my father's movement, having her incorporated into my life will make up for any flaws in the remaining years as a student.

"It will be starting in a minute."

During the few months I've experienced at this school, I've learned not a single thing education-wise, but I've learnt a lot human-wise.

That we are too weak emotionally.

Yet strong at the same time.

We harbour strong emotions to our beloved.

Yet are broken when they leave us.

Caused by the flaws of strong emotion.

I glance over at Suzune.

If I leave her, will she cry again?

What will happen to the beauty of her face?

Will her beauty blemish?

After all, she is also weak, just like the rest of us.

In fact, she may be weaker than average.

Although I may be stronger than the rest,

I cannot imagine the guilt I will have when leaving her.

I, myself, might break.

But it's fine, after all, i have no intentions of leaving her.

Not because I wish to spice this concept of youth.

But because I have grown attached to her in ways I thought was beyond my capabilities.

But still-

I need to stay true to what I and Suzune wants...

"3"

To stay...

"2"

And to continue to love...

"1"

That is my new year's resolution... for life.

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These fireworks are like youth.

Beautiful yet short-lived.

Main account: https://www.wattpad.com/user/Diefeel

Whoever can guess what anime the fireworks came from will get a shoutout lol.

Btw, a lot of you guys missed a chapter called 'lovesick' which is completely my bad. It was the chapter before the last, which included the romantic date. It was a good chapter, so you should probably read it.

As for this chapter, it was mainly a monologue, as I love writing monologues. Probably the best thing about writing. You can see the development Kiyotaka has in this chapter through his monologue.

Gosh monologues are the best...

Did I mention how great monologues are?

Thanks for reading!