41

Eleanor was ahead of us, her backpack slung over one shoulder, chattering about some guy she hooked up with this short vacation.

Iris walked beside me, her pace slower than usual, probably sensing that something was off or something is off with her.

My eyes were stained from crying this entire week, but whenever anyone asked why my eyes were glossy and red, I'd reply with it's just make-up. It wasn't the best cover up, but it worked... a bit. I couldn't explain my glossy eyes with 'makeup,' so I said it was just watery because I had something in my eye this week and it doesn't want to come out.

And now it was university again, on our way to the cafeteria.

I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to think about anything, honestly. But Iris and Eleanor made me feel better, even though they don't know anything. It should stay like that.

Eleanor knows absolutely nothing.

Iris knows Daniela and I are a couple.

Daniela hasn't spoken to me since that day on the beach.

She'd normally text me early morning, saying she'd come pick me up or even a 'good morning.' Now I get nothing. I've been wondering what she's doing, wondering if I hurt her so bad that she's been crying just like me.

I should've said I loved her back, maybe it would be different now. Maybe we'd be walking down the halls together to her office with a bunch of students side-eyeing us.

We normally would get weird glances, especially me.

Everyone knows my mom passed, and they probably think I see Daniela as one, giving me that same comfort.

Thinking about that day when I accidentally called her mom in front of the class, a tiny smile spread across my face.

Hell, I miss her.

But then thinking about Adeline, my smile fades. Unease grew inside of me.

She thinks I'm like her. She thinks I'd cheat on Daniela like she did.

The thought makes my chest tighten, and I quickly push it away.

I glanced at Iris, who was walking quietly beside me, her head slightly turned in my direction. She had this look on her face, the one that always made me think she knew more than she let on.

Iris nudged me with her elbow, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"So, spill. What's up with you lately?" She was smiling, but there was something in her eyes that said she wasn't buying my 'I'm fine' act. "You didn't want to come to your favorite Frozen Yogurt place with us-- that's a red flag."

I just shrugged, trying to keep my voice casual. "Nothing, just tired. It's been a long week."

"Bullshit. You've been staring off into space." She said, "What's wrong, pookie?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but the words didn't come. How could I explain everything-- Adeline's threat, my guilt over not saying the words to Daniela, the fear that I was losing her.

Eleanor walked back toward us after spotting a table. She placed her hands on her hips, almost scolding us. "So, you two ready to eat, or are we gonna just stand here all day?"

We reached the table where Eleanor had already set down her tray, looking pleased with herself as she chatted about the latest gossip.

Iris was still giving me that look, the one that said she wasn't letting me off the hook.

But I couldn't focus on that right now.

My gaze wandered around the cafeteria, my mind still tangled with everything. That's when I saw her.

Daniela.

She was standing near the counter, talking to another professor.

She was far away, but not distant in the way I wished she was.

The quiet ache that had been with me all week flared again.

I felt my heart twist as I watched her laugh at something the professor said. It was a soft, warm sound. I wanted to hear it for myself again. I wanted to be the one who made her smile. But my stomach churned. The words I hadn't said--the "I love you" that had slipped away from my lips--kept echoing in my mind, a constant reminder of how I hurt her.

Then, I felt it.

Her eyes.

She was looking at me. I froze. For the tiniest moment, everything around us faded. It was just the two of us in that split second.

Her gaze didn't waver, and neither did mine. My heart was pounding in my chest, my breath caught in my throat. I wanted to jump up and run away, but I couldn't look away. Her eyes were soft, searching, like she was waiting for something from me, an answer, an apology, or maybe just a sign that I was still here.

And then she blinked.

Her expression shifted slightly, something that could've been hurt, confusion, or maybe just the same overwhelming emotion that I was feeling.

Before I could process what had just happened, Daniela looked away, her focus shifting back to the professor she was talking to. The moment was gone.

I hadn't moved, hadn't said anything. I just stared.

"Are you gonna keep staring at her, or do you actually want to talk to her?" Iris' voice cut through the air.

Luckily, Eleanor was busy looking down at her phone, listening to music with her earphones in, so she didn't hear what Iris said.

I turned to Iris. "I messed up. Big time. She told me she loves me-- loved me. And I just stood there like an idiot."

"What?" Iris' eyes widen in surprise. "Woah. Wait, you didn't say it back?"

Seeing Iris staring at me like that makes me even more guilty and I started stuttering. "I- I couldn't. I don't know why, I just... I couldn't."

Iris shifted in her seat, her playful expression faltering for a second. She didn't say anything for a moment, processing everything.

After a pause, she leaned in slightly, her voice serious. "You know, I get it. It's not easy."

I scoffed slightly, "How do you get it? You have Xavier."

Iris hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the strap of her bag. She looked away, clearly trying to gather her thoughts, before turning back to me with a small, almost bitter smile. "Xavier and I... we broke up yesterday. I wanted to tell you at the Yogurt place."

Oh shit.

I blinked, stunned. "What?" How is that even possible? "I'm... I'm sorry. But you two were okay, right? You guys seemed..."

"Fine?" Iris scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, we thought so too. We never really talked about what mattered, you know? We just... assumed. And then one day, we were standing there, and neither of us could bring ourselves to say what we really felt. To say we loved each other-- communication is key."

I was silent for a moment, letting her words sink in.

"I... I didn't know."

"Yeah, well," Iris shrugged, her voice quiet for once, "We never said it. And now? Now it's too late. I mean, we still care about each other, but... we weren't brave enough to take that step. So, here I am, trying to give you advice."

I felt a knot form in my chest, seeing how vulnerable Iris was being.

She wasn't the type to wear her feelings on her sleeve, but now I could see the pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Iris. I didn't know you two were... like that." I was speechless, only repeating my words.

Why is everything falling apart?

Iris gave a small, crooked smile, trying to brush it off.

"It's fine. I'm not upset, really. It's just... it's a lesson, you know? I'm not saying you have to jump into anything, but you can't keep avoiding the truth, Vic,"

"Whether it's love or anything else, if you want it, you've got to take that leap. Otherwise, you're just gonna be left wondering what could've been. That's what happened with me and Xavier."

I look over at Daniela who quickly looked away when I caught her gaze.

My cheeks felt warm.

"I don't know if I can. What if I say it, and it's too late? What if I push her away even more?" I mumble, "I think she hates me."

"The way she stares at you can't be hatred."

I gulp, turning back to Iris. "I'm not ready to say it."

Iris gave a small, knowing smile. "You'll never feel ready, Vic. Love is scary."

I frowned at her wise words.

"Yeah. I am scared." I whisper. "Scared because I don't know if we're still together or not."

"You should be scared." Iris gave a genuine smile, "But that's what makes it worth it, right? If it was easy, it wouldn't be love."

I sat there, the weight of Iris' words sinking in deeper with every passing second.

Her usual playful demeanor was completely gone now, replaced by something far more raw and real.

She wasn't joking around.

She wasn't being her usual sarcastic self.

She was speaking from a place of truth, and I could feel it.

She's hurting like I am.

Because Xavier and Iris never really spoke their feelings, they broke up.

I don't want it to happen between Daniela and I.

I glanced over at Iris, her usual playful grin slowly returning. She was back to her bold, confident self.

Just the way I needed her to be right now.

"Go get your woman." She said. "She's waiting for you. What's the worst that could happen?"

"She can literally reject me." I mumble under my breath, "Like for a third time."

"Oh come on. The worst that could happen, she tells you you hurt her and can't do it again, and then what? You take a nap, watch Netflix, and cry into your pillow for a few weeks? Been there, done that. I quite like the alone time."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Wow, you really make rejection sound like a fun day out."

"Trust me, it's an art form," she said with a wink before turning serious again. "Look, you've got two choices here, you either go talk to her and apologize, or you sit here all day, feeling sorry for yourself."

I jumped to my feet, a new sense of determination bubbling up inside me from her somewhat inspiring words. "Alright, you're right. I'm doing it. I'm going to go talk to her."

Eleanor looked up at me curiously, before shrugging and look back at her phone. Continuing to bop her head to her music.

Iris gave me a proud thumbs-up. "That's what I like to hear. Go get your woman!"

I turned my head again, scanning the cafeteria, my heart sinking further.

Daniela wasn't there anymore.

After lunch and all my classes, I needed some space, some time alone to think and breathe.

I didn't have Daniela's class, which is good... but also not.

So, I found myself in the music hall, an empty, quiet place where the air felt lighter. The piano on stage stood like an old friend, waiting for me.

I walked up and sat down on the bench, immediately playing on it.

I started playing, first slow, like I was testing the waters, but soon enough the emotions broke through. My fingers flew over the keys, the music becoming more aggressive, more forceful.

My chest tightened, and the tears I had been holding back threatened to spill.

As I finished the piece, my hands stilled on the keys, the last note hanging in the air like a breath held too long.

The silence was broken by clapping.

A guy.

He was tall, probably around my age, with short, dark hair that was a styled like a slick-back.

He had sharp features, strong jawline, green eyes and a cleanly shaved beard.

He wore a simple black t-shirt and jeans.

His green eyes were kind, friendly, and when he saw me freeze, he softened his expression, almost as if he was trying to put me at ease.

He stood in the doorway, clapping slowly.

"You've got some serious talent," he said with a tiny, sweet smile. "That was... intense. Intense, but beautiful."

I stared at him, confused. "Who are you?"

"Oh, right, yeah, sorry. I'm Cameron. I think my aunt Adeline mentioned me?" His voice dropped quieter, uncertain. "She showed me a picture of you-- Victoria, right?"

What the fuck.

I nodded slowly, trying to keep my composure.

She wasn't playing around.

I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud, but everything inside me screamed to run.

To leave, to avoid this whole mess. But I couldn't.

Not when Daniela's job was hanging over me and our relationship if we're even still okay.

"So, uh, you're really good," Cameron added, trying to keep the conversation going.

After my shock disappeared, I forced a small smile. "Thanks. It's... it's something I do to clear my head."

"I get that." He said, his voice warm. "Sometimes, when I need to clear my head, I go for a run. But music's a better choice for sure."

I nodded, too distracted to engage fully. I wasn't really hearing him, my thoughts too loud.

Cameron shifted on his feet, glancing around the room.

"I actually just moved here." He said, like I didn't know that. "First day, and I'm already lost. You wouldn't happen to know where the, uh, Spanish department is, would you?"

I froze. My heart skipped a beat.

The Spanish department.

Daniela.

"Yeah, I do... I have class there." I said suspiciously.

Cameron's face brightened. "Seriously? That's perfect. Do... you mind showing me around? I mean, then we can get to know each other better."

I hesitated, and he could tell. His eyes slightly widen knowing I was getting uncomfortable. "I promise I don't bite."

I let go of a sigh and grab my things, walking down to the ground floor off the stage.

I studied him, spotting the redness on his cheeks.

I stop as I realize he's not follow me. I look over my shoulder and nod. "You coming or not?"

His smile widens before speed walking after me.

We walked together down the hall, the sound of our footsteps echoing through the empty corridor.

Cameron kept up with my pace, asking me about NYU, how long I've been here, and what I was studying.

I gave short, clipped answers, too distracted by thinking how I can escape this.

He's too sweet, maybe I can use that to friendzone him, tell Adeline he's not into me.

Hell, then she will definitely tell my dad about Daniela and I.

We turned the corner, and I was about to point him towards her classroom but then I crashed into a body coming around.

The impact almost made me stumble, but then I felt strong hands grip my arms, steadying me.

"Gotcha." Cameron said, holding me up.

Regaining my posture, I look up, still in his arms, and into Daniela's eyes.

She was standing right in front of me, frozen in place, staring at me with wide eyes. Her hands were at her sides, fists clenched as she took in the scene.

Her gaze flicked between me and Cameron, her face unreadable.

I could feel the tension crackling in the air, but the worst part was the silence.

It felt suffocating.

I jumped away out of his embrace, clearing my throat.

Daniela said nothing, but the way her eyes were fixed on him made my heart race. There was something about the way she was looking at him that made my stomach twist in knots.

The look that could kill.

I swallowed hard, trying to find my words. "Cameron, maybe you should..." I trailed off, my voice quieter than I intended.

It wasn't hard to understand what I meant. I didn't need to finish my sentence. He seemed to sense the shift in the atmosphere, and his eyes darted between us, a little confused but clearly picking up on the tension.

He probably thought I was in trouble by a professor, and immediately backed up.

"Uh, yeah." He turned to me, "I'll see you around. Thank you for giving me a tour, Victoria."

He turned, walking off without another word.

My heart was still racing, but the worst part was the way Daniela was looking at me now.

Her jaw was tight, and her eyes were narrowed.

She takes a deep breath in finally after just staring at each other. I could still see the hurt in her eyes. "So, who was that?" She asked coldly.

"Uh... I- uh, his name is Cameron." My voice was only above a whisper.

"Cameron, huh?" She scoffed, "He sure is touchy. Why haven't you told him that you have a... partner? Is he your friend, same class, or..."

Daniela never met Adeline's nephew before.

Good to know.

"We just met. He asked me to show him to your class." I said shyly, "He's taking Spanish."

Which is oddly specific... why Spanish? The same class I'm taking?

Luckily his main course is Business Management, far away from law.

There was awkward silence for a few seconds before I spoke. "So... how you've been?"

Daniela's eyes soften for a moment, but her expression tightens again.

"I've been alright," she says, her tone quieter now as she looks at me. "Been keeping busy... not that it matters. Guess we're both good at keeping distance these days, huh?"

She looks away for a brief second, as if trying to gather herself before meeting your eyes again. "You still avoiding me?"

I blink. "I-I'm not avoiding you."

She looked into my eyes as if trying to search for answers. "I don't know what I did, Victoria," she says, her tone heavy with unspoken emotion. "But if I did something to make you pull away, you can tell me. I don't want to keep guessing, wondering what happened. Is it because I said I lo--"

Just then her phone rang, and I sighed.

She picked it up, looked at me and brought it to her ear.

I stood there awkwardly as she spoke before she put her phone away again.

"I'm sorry, I got to go."