54

It was difficult getting ready for university, let alone standing up from bed.

Like I said, I cried myself to sleep yesterday night around two in the morning.

But I have to admit, letting Cameron down gently brought the tiniest relief to me. He was so understanding. It hurts a bit.

Nevertheless, at least one weight has been lifted off my chest. A bonus is also him not minding the fact that I like girls and boys.

Now I was sitting on the grass patch outside the building with the girls, my back leaning against the trunk of a tree. Eleanor was stretched out on her stomach beside me, flipping through her notes, while Iris sat cross-legged, picking at the grass and tossing them at Eleanor whenever she wasn't looking. The shade of the tree protected us from the sun.

"So," Iris said. "What's the plan for the weekend? Party? Movie night? Or are we doing that whole 'lie in bed and complain about life' thing? Because I'm down for any of it."

Eleanor rolled her eyes, brushing away the grass Iris threw at her. "You're always down for lying around and complaining."

"Because it's therapeutic!" Iris quipped, grinning.

I couldn't help but smile faintly at their banter, grateful for even the smallest distraction.

Then Eleanor suddenly sat up, her gaze shifting to something--or someone-- behind me. Her eyebrows raised, and she nudged me with her elbow.

"Hey, isn't that your Spanish teacher?" she asked, her voice curious. "Miss hot stuff?"

In the speed of light my head snapped around, my heart stuttering in my chest.

Daniela was walking down the pathway, heading toward the building. Her coffee cup balanced in one hand, a bag slung over her arm, and a pile of books and files in her other hand.

She looked so tired.

Her movements a little slower than usual. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail with strands poking out, and her brows were slightly furrowed in concentration as she tried to juggle everything she was carrying.

My chest tightened as I watched her.

Part of me wanted to rush over, to take the books from her arms, to say something, anything, but the other part of me stayed frozen in place.

"She looks like she's about to drop everything," Eleanor squinted her eyes her way. "Should we help her?"

I shook my head. "She's fine."

Iris raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything-at least not loud enough for Eleanor to hear. Instead, she leaned closer to me. "Go help her."

"What? No," I whispered back, my voice barely audible.

Iris gave me a knowing look, her whisper turning into a low murmur only I could hear. "Victoria, don't be stupid. Go."

I hesitated before giving in and standing up, rushing towards Daniela.

She was so focused on balancing her load that she didn't even notice me until I was right in front of her.

"Hey," I almost called her by her name. "Professor."

And as she lost her focus by looking up at me, her coffee slid off her hand. Using my fast reflexes, my hand reaches out and caught it, but not without it spilling all over my shirt. The flaming hot liquid soaking through into my skin.

A sharp hiss escaped my lips as the burning sensation spread across. I nearly dropped the coffee cup, but I held onto it, trying to steady my breathing. I could practically feel Iris and Eleanor's eyes on us from afar, knowing they're laughing.

Daniela's eyes widened, her tired expression morphing into alarm. "Victoria!" she exclaimed, dropping the books and files she was holding.

"It's fine," I said quickly, though the sting on my skin told a different story.

"It's not fine." She stepped closer, her hands hovering awkwardly, like she didn't know whether to touch me or not.

"I'm okay," I insisted, but my voice wavered, betraying me.

She reached out to roll up my sleeve before I moved back. "They're watching." I mumbled under my breath, nodding to where the girls were sitting,

Daniela frowned, glancing over her head towards them. They quickly look away. At this point, Daniela didn't care if they saw or not. Her professor mode kicked in as she took the coffee cup from my hand and placed it on a nearby ledge.

"Come with me." She ordered.

She threw the cup away in a bin and picked up her books and files. I was standing their awkwardly with my arms held out, feeling the burn in them, not really being able to do anything. Aside from the burn, it made my skin feel sticky. I felt gross.

From across the field my eyes sent daggers into Iris'.

I knew this was a bad idea.

Then I followed Daniela inside.

We passed a few students in the hallway, their curious stares burning into me. Daniela didn't seem to notice--or maybe she just didn't care. Her focus was entirely on getting us somewhere private. She guided me up to the Hallway of Doom, probably going to her office.

Instead we stopped in front of a door marked Staff Only. My eyes widened as she pushed it open with her shoulder, gesturing me inside.

It was the lecturer's bathroom-- luckily nobody inside.

"Wait, I'm not supposed to be here," I whispered, glancing anxiously around.

"No one will care," She said. "And even if they do, I'll deal with it."

Daniela locked the door behind us with a swift turn of her wrist, the sound echoing in the small space. The bathroom was tidy, white tiles gleaming under the lights.

She placed her books and files on the countertop near the sink and turned to me, her gaze sweeping over my coffee-soaked shirt. Red spots all over my skin.

"Take your shirt off," she said, already moving to open a cabinet where a small medkit was stored.

I froze, my eyes widening. "What?"

Her head whipped around, and she blinked as if realizing how it sounded. But, she acted unfazed. Me on the other hand was a blushing mess, and the fact that we broke up didn't feel real. I just focused on her. How she would tease me whenever I got flustered, how she would give me flowers almost every week, how she would shower me in compliments. Just how she took care of me.

How she loved me.

Daniela's eyes softened as she looked at me, almost like she was trying to hide the pain I caused to help me. There was a flicker of something in her gaze-- something unreadable, but her tone remained professional even.

"The coffee's only going to irritate your skin even more if you don't take it off," she said again, her voice more gentle this time, though there was a sharp edge underneath it.

My fingers trembled slightly as I reach down for my shirt, feeling exposed with it still even on. She was so close, and yet the space between us felt so far.

I could feel her eyes on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. My hands fumbled with the hem of my shirt, and I quickly pulled it over my head, feeling the cool air hit my skin. The burn from the coffee was still there, a constant reminder of the real reason why we're in here. But it wasn't just the burn from the coffee that hurt now.

Daniela's was quiet. She was still standing behind me. The idea of her standing there giving me chills. Sad chills. I could hear the slight shuffle of her movements as she reached for something, and then the sound of a small bottle being opened.

"Turn around," she said quietly. "Let me see the burn."

My heart raced. My mind screamed for me to step back, to keep the distance between us, but my body betrayed me. Slowly, I turned to face her, keeping my eyes down. I wish I could disappear, shrink into the floor. The tension between us was too much.

She moved closer, her hands gentle as she applied the ointment to the burn on my skin. Her touch sent shivers down my spine, and for a brief, moment, I imagined everything as it used to be. Her hands on my skin, the soft murmurs of comfort, the safety of her presence.

"I never wanted to hurt you," I whispered, my voice breaking.

Daniela didn't respond right away, her focus entirely on the burn as she continued to carefully apply the ointment. She was stiff, like she was trying to keep herself together, trying to hold onto whatever control she had left.

I watched her hands as she worked, trying not to focus on the silence that hung between us.

Every second felt like an eternity. I didn't say anything else. There was nothing more to say, at least not right now. I just stood there, feeling the cool ointment against my skin, wishing I could take everything back.

When she finished, she set the small bottle down on the counter with a soft click. She didn't look at me--didn't say anything. She simply stepped back and glanced toward the door, like she was already mentally preparing to leave.

"Is that all?" I asked quietly, the words coming out before I could stop them.

She met my gaze, her expression softening just a fraction, but her eyes were still distant, guarded. "You should be fine. Just keep an eye on it."

I nodded, and put my shirt back on. I felt as it stuck against my skin.

"You should go back to your friends." She said quietly, wrapping her arms over her chest.

"Yeah."

So I walked away. No, I sped walked. I wanted to run away. But the other people would stare at me weirdly if they see me running like there was a ghost behind me.

When I was far away, I could breathe properly again. But what seemed as steady breathes turned into gasps for air. My hand found my shirt right over my heart, clutching it. I mentally swore at myself over and over again.

I tried talking to her, but she doesn't want to listen.

Tomorrow I'll try again. I'll try over and over and over.

I'll tell her the truth.

I don't care anymore.

She doesn't deserve this.

As I hurried through the hallways, my mind was racing.

I made it outside, hoping the fresh air would clear my head, but it only made everything feel more real. My chest tightened again, and I found myself gasping for breath, clutching at my shirt like I could somehow hold myself together if I just tried hard enough.

I mentally cursed myself over and over. Why couldn't I just fix things? Why couldn't she just listen to me?

I wanted to try again, try tomorrow, try forever, until she saw how sorry I was.

And then, as I rounded a corner, I ran straight into someone.

I stumbled back, my heart skipping a beat as I looked up, and there they were-- Cameron and Elijah.

Why is he everywhere!?

I gave Cameron a warning! The one we drilled into him: stay away from Elijah. He didn't listen to me.

"Victoria?" Cameron said, his face lighting up in surprise when he saw me. "Hey, are you okay?"

I didn't think I'd bump into him today since he's sick. Not even booked off?

I let go of my shirt, suddenly breathing correctly again. "Uh... yeah." I mumbled. A frown plastered on my face looking back and forth between them.

Elijah took a deep breath in. "Hey, Vic."

"Don't call me that." My eyes snap to him.

Cameron looked away, knowing he's been caught. He shoved his hands in his pockets, swaying back and forth on his feet awkwardly.

All while Elijah nodded. "Right."

"Cameron, can we talk?" I asked, faking a smile to keep myself relaxed.

He sighed and nodded, about to walk with me before he stopped and his phone rang. He looked down at it. "I'm sorry, it's my mom. Uh, can I take this real quick?"

"Yeah sure." I mumble.

He quickly moved away, bringing his phone up to his ear.

Elijah and I were now standing there, both our eyes darting around, afraid to meet each other. He scratched the back of his neck. "So uh, whatchu been up to?" He asked.

The last thing I wanted was to engage in small talk with him.

"Not much," I mumbled. "Just... stuff. The usual."

Elijah let out a dry chuckle, clearly uncomfortable but still trying to act like everything was fine. "Yeah, well... that's the thing with stuff, right? It never ends." He scratched the back of his neck again, clearly fishing for something to say. "So, you and Cameron?"

Immediately I knew what he was hinting at. "No." I immediately respond.

He nodded again. "Right."

There was awkward silence again. Every now and then my eyes would dart to Cameron standing in the corner, wishing he'd just hung up.

"So... you like, never felt anything for me?" He asked. My eyebrows furrowed at his bold question and I scoffed.

"I felt sorry for you." I groaned, not in the mood. "Didn't professor Garcia tell you to back the fuck off?"

His eyes widen, remembering Daniela's threats. He unconsciously took a step back. "H-Hey now!" He gulped. "Technically, you bumped into us-- into me."

Then just in time, like my hero, Cameron came back. "Sorry, my mom's asking how I'm feeling. She's really protective when it comes to feeling ill."

"Talk. Now. Please." I said.

Cameron quickly said goodbye to Elijah while I give him one last glare and then lead Cameron away. The halls were quite empty, every now and then students passing. So for even more privacy, I guided him outside to where me and the girls were sitting earlier. Maybe they could scold Cameron out for not listening to us.

Unfortunately, they weren't there anymore so I needed to scold him out myself.

Instead of sitting at the same spot on the grass, there was a perfectly nice bench where we sat down.

I turn to him, but before I could talk, he beat me to it. "Okay, Okay, I know you and Iris told me to ignore him, but he gave me football tickets to the live show!"

I raised an eyebrow, my irritation simmering just below the surface. "Football tickets?" I repeated, my voice low. "You're seriously going to let that be your excuse?"

"I didn't want to be rude." He mumbled.

I took a deep breath in to compose myself before turning to him. Dramatically, my hands fell on top of his as he rested them on his knees. I took it and gripped it, like a plea for him to bare with me. Asking him to just listen and stay quiet.

But I knew if I wanted him on our side, I'd have to tell him everything.

"Elijah's brother almost took advantage of me." Cameron's eyes widen upon hearing this. "It was at a dance and we were both drunk. We were kissing but he wanted more. He didn't stop, so I kneed him in the face and ran away. He's now in prison for taking advantage of another girl."

His jaw dropped.

"And Elijah, well, I don't know if he's anything like his brother, but he's not as innocent as you think. He couldn't get past the fact that I didn't feel the same way. Ditched him on Valentines. He said I was embarrassing him since he was alone now. Then he started talking smack and stuff. Professor Garcia saw him after class one day. Why do you think he's so quite during class now?"

Cameron sat their frozen.

So first I told him I play both ways, and now I told him about Felix. All my secrets are starting to spill out it seems.

Uncomfortably, Cameron shifted around before taking my hand. He squeezed it. Sad eyes staring back into me.

"I won't ever talk to him again, I promise." He said quietly.

A tiny smile spread on my face, thankful.

But that smile faded once my eyes landed on Daniela walking down the path again.

She was staring at us.

Staring at our hands locked.

I knew how bad it looked and quickly pulled back. Cameron was too busy staring at me to notice anything around him. But he snapped back into reality as I took my hands away.

"Oh and, mouth shut, right?" I said. But while talking, my eyes met Daniela's again while she walked away.

There was this guilty feeling in my chest and my shoulders slumped once the hurt and anger in her eyes came through.

She shook her head and turned away to look in front of her path.

"Promise." He said.