Under Control: Chapter 23

I’m awake with the sunrise, and Karine’s breathing deeply and slowly beside me.

She looks so small and beautiful. I’m tempted to reach out and brush her hair from her face, but I don’t want to wake her up, not when she’s so peaceful.

And nothing about our marriage so far has been peaceful.

She deserves a moment of rest, even if that means leaving her asleep.

I stretch and keep staring at her, unable to look away. When she first came into my life, naked and glorious and embarrassed as hell, I thought she was a mess.

But I was drawn to her. I couldn’t get her out of my head.

That thick, dark hair, those graceful curves, that gorgeous fucking body and that coy little smile.

I wanted more, and her friend Merrick was more than happy to sell her out.

And when I realized who her family was?

I thought I smelled an opportunity.

That’s the life of a Pakhan. If I want to keep my family safe and strong, I have to be willing to make the hard choices. Normal people with their normal lives, with their jobs and their friends and their fucking pets, they get to keep their moral score sheet clean. Their hands don’t have to get dirty, because nobody relies on them, and they don’t have monstrous killers out there waiting to take everything away.

I’m surrounded by thieves and murderers, which means I need to be twice as hard.

So I make the difficult decisions and do the morally reprehensible things, all for the greater good.

That’s what Karine was to me at first. She was a means to the end. She was my ticket back into the good graces of the Brotherhood, and nothing more.

Until I realized I was completely wrong about her.

She was everything.

I couldn’t get her from my head. Even now, with her lying by my side, I can’t stop thinking about Karine’s lips wrapped around my hard shaft. I reach down into my boxer briefs and slowly stroke myself while looking at her. It’s fucked, but I’m so broken and obsessed with her, and I can’t help it. I growl out a soft grunting moan as I rub my palm around the crown of my cock and watch my sleeping wife’s breasts rise and fall with each breath.

She’s my entire world now.

I don’t remember when the shift happened. There has to be a moment somewhere in the near past where I went from wanting her, to thinking about her constantly, to a deep and sickening obsession.

But that’s where I am now, trapped down at the bottom of this hole, and she’s my only light.

Karine stirs. The motion of my strokes must’ve woken her. She looks at me, blinking sleep from her eyes, and smiles slightly. “Morning,” she says, groggy.

I’m still fucking hard.

That’s how sick for her I am.

“Morning,” I say, stroking slower now.

Her eyes move down my bare chest and widen when she notices what I’m doing.

I have no embarrassment, no shame, nothing but desire for this girl.

She licks her lips.

“Were you watching me sleep and touching yourself?” she whispers.

“Yes,” I tell her truthfully. “Does that bother you?”

“It probably should… but no, not really.”

“Good.” She reaches for me, but I tell her to stop. “Stay still. Close your eyes.”

“You want me to pretend like I’m still asleep?”

“Yes,” I say, voice husky. What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?

It’s because she’s so pure like that.

Her eyes close. Her mouth opens slightly, and it’s good enough. I groan as I shift my position and get onto my knees, freeing my cock and stroking myself faster, rubbing my precum down my shaft.

It’s her light. Her brightness. It’s the way she banishes the shadows of my mind whenever she’s around. I can be for once, I can think and act and desire, without getting lost in the brambles of the dark hell that is my life.

She’s good, and I want to destroy her.

I pull down the sheets. She’s wearing only an old t-shirt with nothing underneath. Her nipples are hard, and she’s breathing fast as I let out a soft growl of bliss. I lean forward and smear the head of my cock against her mouth, wetting her lips, and she whimpers like she’s having a good dream. I look down, and realize her hand’s between her legs.

Stroking her own pussy for me.

Fuck, that does it. I hunch forward as I come on her tits, soaking her shirt against her skin, and her hand moves faster between her legs. She moans, back arching, mouth open, and I rub the head of my cock into her mouth and make her suck me clean as she comes on her own hand, her body shaking and trembling with bliss.

I pull her into my arms. She snuggles in close, breathing hard.

“Good morning,” she whispers, and I can feel her grinning against my chest.

“Good morning, malishka.”

“Do you do that a lot? Get yourself off while I’m sleeping?”

“That was a first.”

“You can wake me up, you know. I mean, unless you like it.”

“I like you. That’s all I care about.” I’m not sure she understands, and it doesn’t matter. Asleep, awake, I don’t care, so long as she’s here with me. So long as she’s mine. “Let’s shower together.”

I clean her off. I’m tender and slow, and soon we’re fucking against the wall again. I fill her to the brim and leave her pussy lips puffy and swollen with bliss. I’m dripping down her leg and mixing with the water on the shower floor. I don’t know how I ever survived without her in my world before right now.

We get out of the shower together, finally clean, and my phone’s ringing on the nightstand. I hurry over to grab it, since nobody calls me this early. The screen says it’s one of my guards, and I realize with a start that he’s supposed to be on duty at Miriam’s house, Karine’s mother.

“Pakhan,” he says, sounding breathless, a young man named Alexei. “I’m sorry to bother you so early, but⁠—”

“What’s wrong, boy? Say it fast.”

“The woman’s house is on fire.”

I turn around and stare at Karine, my heart hammering into my throat. “How? When? Is the woman alive?”

“Just now. Igor’s dead. Some men came and we tried to stop them, but⁠—”

“What happened to you?”

“I’m shot, Pakhan. I’m in the backyard, bleeding.”

And he still called. He’s a good lad. A good soldier. It’ll be a shame if he dies. “Hold on. I’m bringing help.”

“I don’t know if the woman’s still alive, Pakhan. I heard shouting and a scream.”

“Just hold on.” I hang up and start throwing on clothes.

“What’s happening?” Karine stares at me, looking pale and lovely.

“Nothing. Stay here.”

“You mentioned a woman. Who’s in trouble, Valentin?”

“You don’t need to be concerned.” I walk to her and crush her mouth with mine. “I’ll handle it.”

But she doesn’t let me off that easy. As I finish dressing, she pulls on tights and a sweatshirt. “I’m coming.”

“You are most certainly not.” I text Anton and tell him to gather a few men. “Sit back down.”

“It’s my mother, isn’t it?” When I don’t respond, she punches me in the arm. “Tell me the truth, asshole!”

“I’m not going to lie to you, which is why I want you to sit back down and stay here. I will handle it.”

“I’m coming.” Tears stream down her face. “Something’s happening to my mother. I’m not staying here.”

I curse my rotten luck but there’s no time to fight her. I storm out of the room with Karine fast on my heels. I bark orders at the nearest guards and tell them to arm themselves for a fight, and two minutes later, we’re in an oversized SUV with five armed men and Karine sitting up front in the passenger seat.

I drive like a maniac.

Karine’s mother doesn’t live far. It’s a typical Philly neighborhood with lots of cars parked in the street and tightly packed row homes. Neighbors are on the sidewalk, staring and pointing.

Miriam’s house is on fire.

Smoke billows from the roof in thick black plumes. Flames crackle at the windows, and the door’s been left open. More smoke and more fire pour out onto the front stoop. Someone’s screaming and crying, and I realize it’s Karine as she claws at the door, and barely manages to throw it open before I can lock it.

“Karine!” I shout as she runs toward the house. I turn around and bark orders at my men as I double park right against the curb. “Get this place secured. Make sure no Armenians are anywhere nearby. Send someone around back to save Alexei if he’s still alive. Get fucking moving.”

My men spill out as I leap from the SUV, not bothering to turn off the engine. Karine’s trying to get in the front door, but the heat from the fire is too much, and it’s singeing her eyebrows and the front of her hair.

I have to drag her away. She kicks and screams, but I can’t let her burn herself trying to get inside that place.

“Baby, please, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Mama! Valentin, Mama’s in there, please you have to help her.” She’s begging, pleading, crying so hard her body’s shaking with each bone-wrenching sob. She grabs at my shirt. “Please, Valentin! You promised!”

The firemen aren’t here yet. I have no protective equipment. No way to get in through this door.

But Karine’s right. I promised I would protect her, no matter what.

A truck pulls up behind my SUV and Anton jumps out with more soldiers. His men start pushing the neighbors away and helping anyone in the nearby houses.

“Pakhan, how bad?” Anton asks.

“Watch her,” I bark at him and push Karine in his direction. “I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?” he yells, but I don’t answer. I kick open the neighbor’s door and hurry through a quiet, empty house, past a sink filled with dishes, and into a yard overgrown with weeds. I leap over the fence and land on Miriam’s back concrete slab.

Alexei’s lying in the bushes. I hurry to him and kneel down. The young man’s pale and he’s not breathing. An ugly wound in his chest leaks red, and bubbly bloody spittle covers his mouth.

Calling me must’ve been his final act.

I turn to the house. He’s lost, but Karine’s screams still ring in my ears.

The back door is closed, but I manage to get it open. The kitchen’s filled with smoke and I start coughing like crazy as I crouch down to get underneath. The fire isn’t bad back here, and I shout for Miriam as loud as I can, but it’s impossible to see anything. I run into a chair, stumble into a table. I knock a glass off the counter and curse as I bash my face on the goddamn refrigerator.

I nearly stomp on her fucking neck.

But Miriam’s body appears on the threshold of the living room. The fire’s bad here and I’m coughing so hard I can barely think. My eyes are stinging and tears stream down my face as my body tries to clear the smoke from my vision, and I’m getting weak already.

I grab Miriam’s legs. No time to see if she’s still alive. I drag her back into the kitchen and try not to pull her through the broken glass. I keep going, even though my legs are burning and I’m fucking dizzy, even when I knock my head into the doorframe. I get her outside and collapse onto the grass, coughing and spitting and sucking in fresh air, but the world’s a black tunnel around me. I pull Miriam into my arms and pat her face. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” I tell her, but it’s coming out in Russian, and I can’t find any English words as the tunnel around my head starts to narrow, and I feel like I’m dropping down to the bottom of a well, the world turning to darkness.