Under Control: Chapter 40

I can’t bring myself to leave my mother’s side. Even though she’s asleep again and made it clear that I don’t need to hang around, I still won’t leave her.

She’s been through so much, and a lot of it was my fault.

But she’s back now just like Valentin promised. When he wheeled her into the mansion early this morning, that was the happiest moment of my life. I cried like a big, joyous baby, and clung onto her hand like I’d never get to see her again.

“How’s she doing?” Valentin asks later that day. I know he’s been busy with the war. From what I heard, Arsen called and said his father was livid about what happened with Miriam.

“It’s hard to tell. She doesn’t want to complain, but she’s exhausted from the trip down here, and she’s still in a lot of pain.”

“The doctor will help manage that. She won’t leave my sight again, I can promise you that. I’ll make sure she has the best care possible right here at home.”

“Thank you, Valentin. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

He takes my hand in his and holds it tight. “I know this is going to be hard, but I need you for something.”

“Anything. You know that.”

“Arsen’s coming to Philadelphia and he wants you at the meeting.”

I hesitate and glance back at Mama. “You’re right, it won’t be easy leaving her right now.”

“I’ll post guards. Nobody will get anywhere near this room until you come back.”

“I know that.” I shift my weight and lean forward. “It’s just, I felt so powerless when she was gone, you know? I want to sit right here and make sure she’s safe.”

“You couldn’t have done anything for her last time.”

“But at least I would’ve been there.”

He pulls me back and leans down to kiss my cheek. “You’re strong, but nobody is that strong. Let me be here for you.”

I nod to myself. I knew this was coming. I had hoped I’d get a day or two without any interruptions, but things are moving fast now, and I can’t slow them down just because I’m worried about my mom.

I want to live up to Valentin’s idea of me.

“When will Arsen be here?” I ask and lean my head against my husband’s shoulder.

“He’s on the road now. I can give you two more hours with your mother, and then I need you.”

“Then I’ll see you in two hours.”

Rittenhouse Park is one of the most famous and busiest open spaces in the whole city. It’s a series of concentric rings around a central fountain. Grass, some trees, but mostly walking paths and benches. Enormous downtown skyscrapers blot out the pink-and-blue sunset. Nearby, a busker plays guitar, and a couple of guys juggle bowling pins back and forth.

Arsen’s sitting on a bench already, just like last time. Except now, he’s on Valentin’s home turf, in his home city, and half the people in the park right now are related to the Bratva in some way. All of them are armed and ready.

“How’s she doing?” Arsen asks when I sit down beside him. Valentin sits on my other side. Just like our first meeting.

“Good, actually. She’s been asleep but the doctor says your people took good care of her. I’m grateful for that much.”

Arsen looks away. “Don’t thank the kidnappers,” he says.

“You came a long way for this conversation. What’s going on?”

I can tell he’s bothered. Last meeting, back in Baltimore, he seemed totally calm and self-possessed. It was almost impressive the way he handled that extremely stressful moment.

But right now, he can’t seem to sit still. He’s fidgeting and agitated, and I suspect that’s a very bad sign.

“My father suspects something,” he says and gives me a hard look. “It’s only a matter of time before he starts purging everyone that knew about your mother’s whereabouts.”

“Including you?” Valentin asks.

“He’ll get to me,” Arsen confirms and his jaw works. “And his questioning style is very similar to yours.”

Valentin’s smirk is vicious. “Are you complaining about your treatment? You’re alive. You’re not missing any fingers or toes.”

“You’re right, I should be thanking you. But I wonder what you would’ve done if I weren’t so useful.”

“Be happy that didn’t happen.”

I can tell this isn’t going anywhere good, and I quickly cut in. “Arsen, would you like to go for a walk with me around the park?”

He seems taken aback. Valentin looks downright furious.

“Absolutely not,” my husband says.

But Arsen nods. “I’d like that.”

There’s a silent standoff between them. I put my hand on Valentin’s muscular thigh and turn to him. “If Arsen wanted to hurt us, he would have, and you two are just going to keep butting heads. He’s my cousin, Valentin. Let us have a conversation.”

“I don’t like it,” he says through his teeth.

“I’m not giving you a choice.” I stand up before he can stop me and gesture for Arsen to follow.

My cousin is tall and muscular, a similar physique to Valentin, though he doesn’t have Valentin’s aura of maturity and power. I suspect one day he will—and he might even make a good leader for the Brotherhood—but right now, he’s still so young.

“I’ll stay close,” Valentin warns, glaring as I start off along the path.

Arsen keeps up. We don’t say anything for a little while as we get out of earshot of Valentin. Once we’re alone, or at least as alone as we’ll ever be in this city, Arsen looks down at me. There’s a small smile on his lips.

“He doesn’t trust me,” Arsen observes.

“Can you blame him?” I frown in response. My hands rub together behind my back. “He tortured you.”

“It wasn’t so bad. At least, I’ve gotten worse from my father.”

“Your father tortured you?”

“Not exactly. But also, yes.” He doesn’t look like he’s going to elaborate on that, and I can almost feel the frustration rolling off him.

Something went very wrong in his life. He keeps alluding to the terrible things his father did to him, and now he’s acting like getting tortured was no big deal. I can’t imagine growing up in a family like that.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I say very softly, and I find that I mean it. I know Arsen’s the one that burned my mother’s house down and nearly killed her, but he did it under orders. Now that I’m getting to know him better, I can tell that he never had much of a choice. If he had refused to do what his father commanded, I can’t even begin to imagine the horrifying consequences.

“It’s just what I am,” he says and stares at the path ahead of us, walking slowly. “I was never given much of a choice. I was the firstborn to Aram Sarkissian, which meant my path was decided before I ever came out of the womb. Then my mother died giving birth to Tigran, and it’s like any warmth in my life was sucked away. Maybe that’s why I like you.”

I look up, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“You seem so… normal.” He laughs lightly. “We have a big family, you know. Lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Some blood, some basically blood. But none of them are normal. Not a single fucking one of them. Including me.”

I hesitate, not sure how to take that. “I don’t feel normal,” I tell him. “This thing with Valentin, I don’t know. It’s like I’m finding my place in the world by his side.”

“God, that’s the most normal thing in the fucking world. You met your match. You fell in love. That’s what normal people do, right? But I’ll never be that. Even if it’s something I want.” He stares off into the distance again, and I can tell there’s much more to this story. Except I’m worried he’ll shut down again if I push, and I need him on our side right now.

“You don’t have to be whatever they want you to be,” I say as gently as I can.

He grunts and his pace slows as he looks back at me. “You’re wrong about that. It’s way too late for me. I’ve already gone down the road, and there’s no turning around, not anymore. My life is blood, violence, and pain, and it always will be. But I’m starting to think it can at least be on my own terms.”

I feel him teetering. This is the moment. He’s unsure of where to go from here, and he desperately wants me to give him a reason to push forward. This is where he turns, and all he needs is the right nudge.

“Maybe you won’t ever be normal, but at least you can have control over your own life again.”

“How would I do that?” he asks, voice sounding distant.

“You know how. Your father’s at the center of all this. He sold my mother to Valentin’s father. He kidnapped her and nearly killed her. He made you try to murder your own aunt. We can stop this. You and I.”

He stares at me. His face twitches, and I can tell he’s struggling. His hands curl into fists, and I wonder if he’s going to hit me. I spot Valentin nearby, staring with an intensity that makes me uncomfortable. I’m scared, and I’m worried, but I don’t back down.

And after a long pause, Arsen slowly unclenches. He blows out a breath and cracks his neck to the side, jaw loosening, hands opening back up again.

“If we do this, I’ll need muscle,” he says, looking down at me. “I assume that’s where your husband comes in.”

“I’m sure Valentin will give you what you need.”

“He won’t trust me though.”

“Can you blame him?”

“Not in the slightest, but if he knew what it was like to have a father like Aram Sarkissian, he wouldn’t hesitate to help me.”

I want to put my hand on his arm to reassure him, but I’m pretty sure my jealous and possessive husband will go apeshit and murder Arsen right here and now.

“After your father’s down, it’ll be up to you to handle your family,” I warn him. “They won’t like that you had Russian help.”

“No, they won’t, but many of them will be happy it happened, and the rest will fall into line.” He turns away, expression darkening again. “It’ll be a fight, but it’s a fight worth having.”

“We’re all different sorts of fucked up, you know,” I blurt out, not even sure why I say it.

But Arsen grins at me. “Yeah, I know it. Don’t worry, cousin. Come on, let’s go tell your husband the good news before he has a fucking aneurysm.”

I laugh lightly and follow him back to where Valentin’s waiting, and we start to talk about what comes next.

More blood. More violence. But for once, there might be a new way, a new path forward, and now I hope that Valentin can steer away from the wreck and chart a better course.

Or else this was all for nothing.