Chapter 94

“I feel a little at ease now.”

Yerena looked to be filled with joy. Sezh thought that it had been a long time since the last time she had seen her like this.

“That sleazy bitch, she should have died quicker.”

Sezh looked at her mother with a vacant stare. Suddenly, a lot of questions ran through her head.

To finally kill Lady Lize, are you that happy?

And, do you know what’s going to happen?

“Anyway, I will find a husband for you again,” Yerena said while putting down her teacup.

“Not as good as Duke Franz, but I will find a proper one.”

Whether she will bring a seventy or eighty years old man, it will be useless. Soon everyone will die, including Yerena herself.

If Sezh stayed in this palace, she would end up having the same fate.

Should she tell her about it?

Still, Yerena was the mother who gave birth to her. Even if that was the only thing she did for Sezh.

“… Mother.”

Yerena’s face reflected over those empty blue eyes. As always, she was adorned with all kinds of colorful clothes and jewels.

If she spoke with a powerful noble or imperial family, she would pretend to be kind and a wholehearted person.

However, she had never shown such warmth to her own child.

“I am curious about something.”

“What is it.”

“Mother, at least once…”

Her dry lips suddenly felt tingled.

“Have you ever loved me…?”

Sezh already knew herself that even if Yerena said yes, that must be a lie. However, she wanted to hear that lie.

Then she would tell her to escape the palace to somehow avoid that event.

But Yerena didn’t.

“You sound stupid.”

A cold sneer appeared on Yerena’s face. She classily sipped her tea a few times.

“You are a useless bitch.”

“Do you know how difficult it is to become a concubine from a humble family until I get to this position?” She said with a calm face.

Sezh didn’t answer.

“It’s all my endeavor. I came up here all because of my own effort. If you were a son, no, at least, if you were a princess who doesn’t get ignored by everyone, it would have been helpful to me. Then I’d love you. But look.”

“…”

Yerena wiped her lips with a silk handkerchief. Even though she was uttering horrible words, she didn’t look agitated at all. It was like she said an absolute thing.

“You are nothing though? So why should I love you? It’s not worth it.”

“If you don’t like it, do as I tell you. Because that is your only value and the only way you can be loved by me.”

The tips of her fingers now felt cold. Sezh looked at Yerena with a bewildered face.

What the hell was she expecting from this person?

“You know what I mean? Sezh.”

Yerena asked sternly.

“Now that you have reached adulthood. I will find you a husband as soon as possible. So-“

“… Yes.”

Sezh’s voice cracked.

“I… understand. Thoroughly.”

Her wet blue eyes twitched. Sezh had a face that looked like she was about to cry, but Yerena didn’t pay any attention to it. As always.

***

Her bedroom was in a mess.

Sezh was crouching down on the floor while looking at her dresses. She was putting down all of hers.

Regardless, it wasn’t an expensive dress in the first place, so it didn’t seem like there was anything to save.

“Princess, are you looking for something? Can I help you?”

“No, it’s okay.”

Sezh shook her head.

“But there must be something I can do to hel—”

“Kaen, I’m sorry, but can you bring me something like a bag? The sturdy one.”

“A bag?”

“Yes. I prefer it to be a little bigger than the small one.”

“Alright. I’ll bring it to you soon.”

Kaen was puzzled but still replied. She then left Sezh’s bedroom.

Left alone, Sezh took a deep breath. The reason she had been suffering so early was simple. She was searching for anything that could become money.

All of Yerena’s jewels and cash that she had left behind were sent to Luna’s family. It wasn’t regretful, but she had no spare money to leave the palace now.

“However, with this… it will be enough for me.”

What Sezh had picked up from under the bed were some silverware. She secretly kept them after eating.

‘If I go out of the palace and sell it, I will be able to raise a minimum amount of money,’ Sezh comforted herself.

She hid the silverware again and sat across the bed. She then picked up Luna’s portrait and started talking.

“Luna, I’m leaving the palace.”

Luna didn’t answer, but Sezh continued to speak.

“I am going to see His Highness. I’m going to ask permission to leave the palace.”

Even if he didn’t treat her like a Princess, he wouldn’t refuse a request to meet her. Sezh wanted to think that way.

Of course, if her mother finds out about it, there will be an uproar. However, by the time the news that Sezh asked for permission to leave the palace reaches her ears, it must have already been over.

If the Emperor granted permission, Sezh would leave the palace within at least one day.

“He’s not interested in me anyway, so he’ll let me go without saying anything, right?”

It was ironic that the fact the Emperor wasn’t even paying attention to her would be so helpful.

“And even if he doesn’t permit me… I will still leave. Even if I have to climb the wall.”

Sets had a crestfallen expression on her face. Asking the Emperor’s permission was only to reduce the commotion. She’ll run away no matter what his answer.

“If I had done this earlier, you could have lived. Right, Luna?”

Sezh mumbled as she brushed her fingers against the painting. And then she shook her head.

“I’m not going to do anything like self-blame anymore. If I do that, you will be more upset.”

Like Kaen, Eton, Raytan, Luna too would be sad if she got sad again. She didn’t want to bother Luna even after she died.

“Anyhow…  Please root for me. Pray for me. So I will have a little more courage.”

Sezh muttered.

While doing that, Sezh heard the sound of the door being opened.

“Ka-…”

After turning her head. Sezh stopped. The person who opened the door wasn’t Kaen. It was Raytan.

Raytan, who was staring at Sezh, frowned.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah, Broth-“

“Princess, I brought the ba-… Prince Raytan.”

Kaen, who just entered the room, hurriedly bowed to Raytan with a slightly embarrassed face. Unlike Luna, she was still afraid of him.

“… What is this?”

Raytan stole the bag from Kaen then asked.

“Kaen, can you leave the room for a moment?”

“Ah, yes…”

“Thanks for bringing the bag.”

“P-Please don’t say that. Then, if you need anything else, please just call me.”

Kaen closed the door and left, leaving only Raytan and Sezh in that room.

Raytan approached Sezh with the bag in his hand.

“I asked what are you doing, Sezh.”

His expression was cold today.

Sezh hesitantly parted her lips, “Do you remember what I said back then, Brother?”

“About what?”

“I said when I reach adulthood, I would flee from the imperial palace.”

Raytan seemed a little bit startled.

“I’m going to tell His Highness and ask for his permission.”

“Your mother.”

“I didn’t tell her. Because… I’m sure she’ll be against it…” she muttered.

Raytan was saying nothing for a moment, then spoke in an aloof voice.

“The reason is?”

“Yes?”

“You didn’t tell me back then. What is your reason for leaving the palace?”

“…”

“What’s the reason?”

Sezh clammed up her lips. He asked what is her reason? It was simple. In no time, the imperial palace will become a sea of ​​blood. And maybe Sezh, too, might have her neck slashed off.

Over the past few days, Sezh had thought to herself over and over again. Would Raytan really cut her neck again like in the past?

She didn’t know the answer, but the destination of her thoughts was always the same.

She still wanted to run away.

It wasn’t just about surviving. She didn’t have the valor to see Raytan scrag people’s life like what is in the legend. Besides, she also didn’t want to see his crimson eyes looking at her coldly.

Even if he would cut off her head, or even if he wouldn’t… She was scared.

Despite everything, she couldn’t be honest about it.

“I… Because I’m not needed in this imperial palace.”

She lied.

“That’s why I want to run away, and I know very well what everyone thinks of me. I don’t want to live like that anymore. That’s all.”

“What if the Emperor doesn’t allow it?”

“I will still run away. Whatever it takes.”

His blood-red eyes shook in brief.

“Need you, you say,” Raytan muttered low, “Is it that important?”

“… Yes?”

“Then, if there’s somebody who needs you here, you won’t leave?”

“Brother…?”

Sezh made a baffled face.

“Answer me, Sezh.”

She didn’t know. Why was Raytan asking that question and how should she answer it?

She faltered but eventually replied softly to him.

“But there is no such person. That’s the situation now, and will always be like that.”

“…”

“I have been thinking about it since I was little. From a really long time ago…”

Raytan didn’t say anything. He just quietly looked down at Sezh, he laid down the bag he was holding in his hand.

“I see.”

Duk

The bag fell helplessly to the floor from his hand.

“I’ll just go back.”

“Brother, wait…”

She tried to chase him, but Raytan strode out of her bedroom without looking back.

“…”

Staring at the closed door, she sat reticently on her bed.

She couldn’t guess his heart.

Was he sad? That thought slipped into her mind, but she quickly shook her head.

“… It’s unavoidable.”

It was all already decided from the beginning.

“This is… what the best.”

‘Leaving the imperial palace is the best choice for me and you…’

Sezh locked her lips tight as if trying to come back to her senses. She then picked up the bag that had fallen on the floor.

Two days later, Sezh finally visited the Emperor.