13: New Beginnings

❝ Every other song says I'm beautiful, but what if I don't feel like I'm beautiful? ❞

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The car ride back home was silent. I wouldn't call it an awkward silence, because we both had lots on our minds. We both knew we needed space, not physically but mentally.

After our little-almost-kiss, Ray had offered to take me back home as the moon was already up. He borrowed a car from the garage he worked in and rolled the windows down, letting the cool wind brush my face. It was never cold in California, and me spending my childhood days in Washington, I was used to the cold.

I didn't miss the way Ray reversed his car so skillfully, turned at the turns smoothly and maintained an even speed all along. I also didn't miss his muscles flexing every now and then and his veins popping out frequently. He caught me a few times and just chuckled.

The car came to a halt and I snapped from my thoughts. Happy thoughts, to be precise. The sight of my dark house turned me off and I knew I would stay up tonight fighting my inner demons.

Managing a smile at Ray who had done nothing wrong, I started to climb out of the seat only to be stopped by a hand on my wrist. A warm hand which gave me a warm, tingly feeling.

I turned around to face him, and his face held a new profound determination.

"I think we spent a lot of time misjudging each other. Atleast I did. Could we move past that and be friends?" His voice was almost desperate. I smiled because tonight had changed everything between me and him. He didn't have to tell me, but nonetheless, his words meant a lot to me.

"You're right. Thank you for letting me in, I appreciate it." I gave his hand a squeeze. He nodded, scratching his neck.

"Goodnight Ray," I whispered, taking a last look at him. It was comforting to look at him and I wanted to be comforted atleast for awhile before entering the dark space.

He looked hesitant and as if it was a deja vu, he called my name yet again as I turned to look at him.

"June!" It was loud and clear.

"Yes?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Don't overthink. You're enough. You'll be enough to someone who'll recognize your worth. You'll be everything to someone who loves you, for you. Don't let anyone trudge you over," he said as he stepped forward.

Tears welled up my eyes but I held them in, nodding curtly at his words. Waving at him silently, I walked inside the house finally allowing myself to collapse.

Ray's car pulled out after I entered my room and it made me smile.

He was such a gentleman.

Hitting the sheets was very comforting but at the same time, the darkness seemed to surround me. My screen lit up with some Instagram notification allowing me to see my wallpaper which had a photo of me and Stefan goofing around.

When had I turned into someone who could be controlled? When had I started to crawl into my shell and never bothered the people stepping over me? When had I started wanting to stick to the walls and avoid the unnecessary attention only to be called a loser?

Was I really that easy to be cheated on? Were Stefan's feelings for me that minimal to be thrown aside?

I never thought of myself as ugly but I knew I wasn't any IMG Model. Looking in the mirror I saw the way my face was molded. It wasn't symmetrical like Evelyn's was. My curves were almost non existent and my hair wasn't wavy like Evelyn's.

How could I have been so stupid to not see the flaws in me?

Slipping under the sheets, I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to just vanish from this world.

Clenching my eyes shut, surprisingly, Ray's words echoed in my mind.

"Don't let a guy question your worth. You're worth everything. "

I wanted to believe Ray. I wanted to accept that his words were true. But right now, I was having a hard time accepting that I was perfect the way I was.

Ray's words were the only light in my dark.

××

"Morningggggggg June!" Katie squealed, tackling me into a hug. I hugged her back, needing all the love I could get.

"What's up? You seem down." She dragged me to our group. Yes, it was our group now. We were officially close friends with them.

Simon stood beside Olivia, goofing around with her hair as she chatted away with Jack on the upcoming MIB movie that they promised to watch while Jason was kicking Ray's shoes. Ray, on the other hand, stood tall in his handsome glory and looked quite unbothered while leaning on the lockers, his eyes closed and music blasting through his earphones. G-Eazy. The more I got to know his music taste, the more I liked him, because I enjoyed the same music he did.

"Guys!" Katie was quite energetic this morning.

Ray didn't bother to open his eyes while Jack waved enthusiastically at Katie. I narrowed my eyes at him for his behavior. It was getting quiet obvious that he had the hots for Katie. He blushed as his eyes connected with mine and swung an arm around my shoulder playfully.

"Morning, sunshine." Mocked Simon rather smoothly, as he smirked.

"What was that?" Seethed Jack as Jason and Simon guffawed.

"Chill bro. Katie is lightened up on a boring morning and hence her nickname, sunshine," Stated Simon.

"Whatever suits you, lover boy," teased Katie, as Simon blew a kiss at her.

"Oh shut up!" Complained Jack as he flipped off Simon.

"So June, will you tell me what's got your panties in a twist? Why are you so damn quiet?" Enquired Katie, narrowing her eyes at me as if she found me suspicious.

I moved my gaze to my vans, finding them quiet interesting at the moment.

"I'll tell you what's got her panties in a twist," spoke up Ray, suddenly standing tall and mighty. I could see the anger in his eyes and so did the others.

"Whoa, Ray's angry. Watch out guys!" Sneered Jason as Ray jabbed in his stomach sending Jason to rap a string of curses.

"Stefan cheated on June with Evelyn Johnson." He was straight to the point.

For a moment, everyone was quiet and didn't utter a single word. I wondered if they knew that Stefan had been cheating on me.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!" Bellowed Simon, throwing his backpack on the floor to rush off and beat the shit out of Stefan, but was stopped and pulled back by a rather annoyed Olivia.

"Shut your ass Simon. We don't need another fight. We can think this out rationally." She was right, and I sent a thankful glance at Olivia. The last thing that I wanted was to cause a fight.

"Do you really expect me to let that fucker walk around like he owns the world? My answer is no, so let me go Ol." Simon was really angry and while I shouldn't say this, I was thankful that they cared about me. I was thankful for my friends.

"Yeah that's right Simon, let's beat the shit out of that asshole!" Cheered Ray, and hified Simon. I immediately whispered a hushed no to Ray and looked at him desperately.

I watched his eyes go from angry, to annoyed, to tired, to soft. He sighed, and nodded.

"Guys, it's okay. I'm fine." I managed to say.

"How can you be fine? And to think I was friends with that bitch," seethed Katie.

"And here comes the devil," announced Jack and everyone turned to look in the opposite direction to see Stefan and his minions walking down the hallways like they didn't give a fuck.

My heart fell to my stomach at the sight of him and I suddenly wanted to hide away. My insecurity was back, and I wondered what he had got to say to me. Tears burned at the back of my eyes, and last night's thoughts raced through my mind.

As if sensing my uncomfort, everyone lined up beside me determinedly, eyeing Stefan as if he was trash.

He saw us and whispered something in one of the guy's ears as he nodded and walked off with the others. Stefan walked up to us with a blank face, still not showing a glint of guilt.

"What do you want, loser?" Teased Simon, as everyone snickered. Ray stood bored, as if waiting for the right moment.

"I'm here to talk to June, not to you nobodies, so get the fuck out of my way." I was surprised at his choice of words. Only if he knew what Ray was capable of.

"She won't talk to you." Ray stepped forward, tilting his head to look properly at Stefan.

Ray was taller than Stefan atleast by five inches and towered above him. Stefan was about my height and I couldn't help but laugh at how helpless he looked. Maybe he should have kept his friends with him.

Stefan stepped back defensively but Ray kept walking towards him until Stefan's back hit the lockers.

"Got anything to say?" Ray placed his both hands at the side of Stefan's face and knelt down to look him in the eye.

"If y-you think I'm scared, I'm not, so move," blurted Stefan as the others chuckled. There was quite a crowd starting to gather around us, and in a corner, I spotted Evelyn with fear plastered all over her face. Her eyes flitted between Ray and Stefan, her friends whispering and nudging her non-stop.

"Well your words say something else, cheater." Ray emphasized on the word cheater and everyone gasped in the hallway.

Ray stepped back but held Stefan in place with a hand on his collar and turned to face the crowd. Many looked down in fear, and I didn't miss the slight hurt that flashed across Ray's face but he regained his blank expression.

"Do we respect boys who cheat on their girlfriends?" Shouted Ray, as many shook their head while some let out a weak no. Olivia cheered up some girls who looked white and nudged them. They all looked at each other and shouted a loud no, and surprisingly, many boys also started shouting "hell no" "of course not" .

I was proud of Ray. Not only was he putting Stefan in place without any violence, but also he was giving the betrayed girls and boys a chance to speak up.

"Great!" He smiled.

"Do we let these fuckers walk around the school like they own it or do we punish them?" Almost all the girls shouted punish them, and Katie encouraged me to speak up as well.

"Hell yeah!" Shouted Ray, shaking Stefan as he stumbled.

I saw a few teachers standing behind the circle that had formed and my heart raced in fear. But then I saw a teacher smiling at another teacher, and the others watched the scene in utmost curiosity.

Thank God. I couldn't risk Ray being suspended or something.

"So Stefan, will you do us the honors of cleaning the school garden, school cafeteria and school hallways? I hope you can do that, right?" Ray spoke politely, but his voice held sarcasm laced to it.

"This is bullying! I won't do that! Get off me, you bloody gangster!" Stefan started struggling but Ray held him in place. "June, it was just a kiss! Its not like I fucking slept with her! Weren't you being a slut? Then why does a kiss hurt you?" His words stabbed me.

"You son of a—" Ray had held his hand up to punch him, but a cold voice stopped him.

"That's enough!" Everyone turned to face an angered Principal, Mrs Jones.

"Step back, Mr Rutherford. And Mr Cartwright, your choice of words really surprise me. I thought you had a certain sense of responsibility being the Football Captain you are. I think you skipped the lesson of basic manners towards girls in your kindergarten. Not only do you get a month of detention, you also have to do everything mentioned here by Mr Rutherford." I stiffled a laugh, as the others cracked a smile and smirked.

"I see many girls and boys here have been a subject to cheating and betrayal. On behalf of all those boys and girls—I must also say—for some girls here have also cheated on boys, you have to carry out the punishment. And do not mistake this punishment as a result of your actions right now. I know you have been skipping classes and carrying out your dirty deeds in janitor rooms and labs! Now get back to your classes everyone! And you follow me Mr Cartwright!"

Everyone scattered and ran away for their classes while an annoyed Stefan followed Mrs Jones.

Olivia and group hified each other as Katie pulled me in for a hug, before waving me a goodbye as she had a class to get to. Jack, Jason, Simon and Olivia had English Basic while Ray and I had English Honors. So we decided to split up.

Ray fell into step beside me and slowed down his for me to match with him, which sent a warm tingling sensation inside of me.

He had respected my words of not fighting. He had publicly shown Stefan his place and I was happy that the teachers had shown their support as well. Many tormented girls and boys, who had been cheated on found hope and support, and spoke up in crowds today.

"Why are you smiling like a goof?" Ray asked, while flicking my forehead as I let out a yelp. He only chuckled.

"I don't know. I'm happy." I confessed, looking at him. "Thank you."

His mouth curved into a genuine smile and he nodded his head.

"It's okay. He deserved it. But what surprised me was Mrs Jones showing her support. For once, she didn't award me a detention." He seemed giddy about it.

"Well, why would she punish you? You haven't done anything wrong. You helped people cope up with their issues, helped them speak up while rightfully bashing Stefan. Did you miss the way how everyone was thankful to you?"

"Were they?" He scratched his neck and I laughed at the way his cheeks tinged pink.

"Yes, Ray. You helped them. For once, for them, a boy they thought was only scary, helped them fight their demons and show the wrong people in this school that they must get off their high horse. You made my day a little better. You made me feel that someone's there for me. You did that."

He kept quiet and kept his gaze down.

"Be yourself. This is the real you. Be proud of it and show the world how great you can be, how talented you are. I haven't missed your wonderful drawings that you not-so-secretly draw in your notebooks. They are beautiful. This world is dark as well as bright. There will be people dragging you down, but what should anchor you is self-recognition. You should be aware of what makes you happy, what makes you you."

He stopped abruptly at my long string of words and for a second I feared that he might lash out. But then, I didn't regret saying that to him. He looked at me for what seemed like forever and in that moment, I felt an instant pull towards him. He nodded and dragged me to class where everyone, for once, looked at Ray hopefully, happily and heroically.

Ray looked surprised and smiled at some, while he sat down on his desk to turn his gaze to me.

I smiled at him and gave him a told-you-so look for which he shook his head amusedly and for the first time in his life, opened his English textbook and began to read along the lines of Whitman as the teacher explained through it.

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Both of them helping each other through their dark times; I love it! It's been a hell of a ride for them, and the story hasn't even reached its main climax yet 🙄

+ ALSO, 1.13K READS? WHATTTT? THANKYOU SO MUCH OMG, IM SPEECHLESS. I LOVE YOU GUYS <3