46.

Guys I think imma hang this book up idk I don't really care for it don't be mad🥺-Dajah

Spencer

"Really Spence why the hell would you do that?" Coop asked as we were walking. "We literally do everything as a couple all I wanted was-" I started off "listen we get that you want her to be your girl but how you gonna tell the girl we'll do it at her own pace then get mad when she's doing it at her own pace?" Coop asked as we shared a small laugh.

"Look I at least wanted our mothers to know what's going on" I said.

"Again, you want her to go at her own pace after everything that has happened with you and Layla but don't want her to go at her own pace?" Coop questioned. "I swear you gotta stop that's a good girl" coop said shaking her head.

"All you do is push the one who cares and loves you away so they won't have the chance to do it first. So you react like this." She explained as I looked over at her "I love you and don't push you away" I brought up. "You tried" coop said as we shared a chuckle. "Coop" we heard someone say as we both seen Tyrone. "You still dealing with him?" I asked her.

"I gotta go" Coop simply said as I just watched her walk off "what's up Spence?" Tyrone started off. "I seen you and your girl yesterday walking together. She cute as he-" he started off. "Watch yo mouth and she's just a friend" I warned as he chuckled. "Word. Y'all just friends? Well she's hella cute" he started off as I felt him struck a nerve but I couldn't react.

He then nudged Coop's arm "put me on with her" he asked coop while smirking at me. "You don't date darkskins no way Spence" he said looking me up and down before walking away. Coop and I just looked at each other as I walked away. Right now wasn't the time for Y/N and I to have a disagreement because she can easily be dragged into this and that's the last thing I wanted nor needed.

I tried calling her phone as it went to voicemail so I decided to leave from Crenshaw and go back to Beverly Hills. I tried calling Y/N's phone once again as it went to voicemail. I was walking towards her house and noticed she came out the house dressed walking towards her mothers car she allows her to drive. "Y/N" I said while walking up to her. She looked over at me and immediately opened her car passenger door.

"Im going out" she simply said placing Dakota into the passengers seat and closing the door. "Where you going?" I asked "why does it matter, you done right?"she asked. "I never said that, that was you" I said. "Because look at how you were acting, literally all I said was that we were friends Spencer, and you got the way you did" she expressed. "Because when will it stop being a secret?" I asked.

"We're clearly not a secret if both of our mothers pieced together that something was going on with us" She said. "So how is other people supposed to know we're together?" I asked as she just rolled her eyes. "First off we're not because you never asked me to be your girlfriend, we agreed that we would take it slow because of what JUST happened" she started off "on top of that if you'd trust me, you'd know that I'm riding for you not no other guy" she explained as I just looked at her.

"I'm sorry" I started off as I grabbed her hand "no" she started off snatching her hand away. "I like you so much and you just can't see that. All I asked you was to work with me and I'd work with you Spence. You may have been hurt by other people and so have I but I'm not trying to hurt you at all" she expressed. "Im tired of being hurt and feeling neglected so why would I sit there and do it to you? Someone who I care about?" She asked as I seen a tear fall from her eye.

"If it's going to be like this I rather just be friends" she said opening her car door. "I wish you luck on your championship game" she said referring to the game we had when we came back from Christmas break. "You're not going to be there?" I asked as she simply shook her head. "Good luck" she simply said before getting In the car as I just watched her pull out the driveway and drive off.

I just placed my hand on top of my head for a moment before walking back towards coaches house. As I was walking I took my phone out of my pocket and pressed Layla's name. After three rings. "Hello?" She answered. "Hey can we meet up and talk?" I questioned. "Yeah, you want to meet at my place?" She questioned as I sighed. "Yeah" I answered "7 is fine?" She asked. "Yeah" I agreed as we hung up.

Y/N

I was listening to Beyoncé's "Lemonade" album in the car while driving to Crenshaw to go hang out with Patience to just talk. "Pray you catch me" was blasting through the speakers as I stopped at a red light feeling tears roll down my cheeks. I hurried to wipe them as I then looked to my side in the drivers seat seeing my father sitting there. Someone then beeped the horn as I continued driving.

"What are you crying for?" I heard him question. "I'm tired of fighting. I've been fighting since I was a kid, when does someone ever fight for me or to have me?" I asked. "Baby I fought for you" I heard him say as I shook my head feeling tears fall from my eyes. "If you fought for me why did you keep me in New York? Why did you have me around what you were involved in? You should've fought hard for me to be out that environment and you didn't" I expressed.

"Sometimes you can't lea-" he started off "ma gave you a choice and instead of sending me out there like a responsible parent, you had me out there enduring shit that I didn't have to endure" I explained. "I was so worried about you when you wasn't worried about me at all because if you were you would've did what was best for your daughter no matter how I felt" I expressed.

"Y/N what did you want me to do?!" He questioned. "Be a fucking father! Protect me!" I shouted then looked to my side realizing he wasn't even sitting there it was just Dakota sleeping. I parked the car in front of precious house. She walked up to the car excited as she finally got in and looked over at me. Her smile then fell "what's wrong?" She asked as I just started crying.

She immediately just hugged me as I continued to cry. I soon stopped feeling her rub my back "here let me go pack some stuff and stay the night with you" she said before getting out of the car. She got out the car running back inside. I just sat there as Spencer texted my phone.

Spencer🤍: Maybe it's best we just stay friends.

I read and placed my phone back down there was then a knock on my window as I looked to my side seeing a guy I rolled down the window some as he smiled and honestly he resembled Tupac a lot. "Hey I've been seeing you around here with Spencer" he started off as I rolled down my window some more. "Yeah" I simply said. "Me and him go way back" he added. "How do you know him?" I asked. "He's someone I grew up with around here, everyone knows Spence" he said as I faintly smiled.

"So what's up with you?" He asked "nothing" I answered "damn I'm trying to have a conversation with you and you're just giving me one worded answers" he said as I laughed some.

"I'm sorry, I'm going through something" I admitted. "I'm sorry to hear that" he apologized as I gave him a faint smile.

"Can I get your number so I can talk to you when you're in the mood?" He asked as I just gave him my number. He just smiled at me as we shared a smile. "I'll holla at you later when you're straight" he said as I laughed "we don't even know each other names" I brought up as he laughed.

"My bad baby girl" he started off "I'm Tyrone" he introduced holding his hand out as I grabbed it. "Y/N" I said as he licked his bottom lip some. "I'll hit you up later, I got some business to handle" he said as I smiled. "Alright" I said watching him walk off as I rolled my window up. A couple of minutes later Patience came outside with a small over night bag then came to the car.

She got in and placed her seatbelt on. "So what's going on?" She asked as I took the car out of park and started driving back to Beverly Hills. "Spencer and I are just going to stay friends, we feel that's the best decision. "What happened now?" She asked "he wants me to label him as my boyfriend and spazzed out about it" I said. "Wasn't he trying to move with your pace?" Patience asked. "Yeah but I guess he's tired of waiting" I said with a shrug. "Did he ever ask you?" Patience asked as I shook my head.

"I'm just done with this, I never ever said we weren't going to be together I just said give me a minute, everything that's going on and went on with him and Layla I have to sit there and deal with the consequences of that, although I'm in counseling for my father I'm dealing with that, I'm still learning how to adapt in an environment where they deem me as beneath them, along with my anxiety and this school" I expressed as Patience just looked at me. "Then my mother being who she is and me being apart of that light, making sure nothing happens to Storm, making sure serenity good back at home hell making sure my aunt is okay after losing my father" I explained.

"Then my school work, college, dance I'm just tired" I admitted. "I sometimes find myself blaming myself for why my father isn't here anymore, had I been there he probably would've never been shot and killed he would've just been in the house with me." I expressed.

"Y/N no, you literally had nothing to do with that because who's to say it wouldn't be you and him six feet under?" She asked as I listened. "You have to worry about yourself and know your limits because if you don't you're going to crack and it's not going to be pretty" she said as I just nodded. "I know but these things have to be done" I admitted. "Y/N there's only one you and you have to worry about yourself and worry about your future because no one else is going to do it" she explained as I just looked at the road.