Chapter 17

“It’s here, Josh push, push with all of your might and will.” Josh had listened carefully to everything and now was the time. Muriel went underwater to observe. The baby was crowning for sure. It would be out soon. She pushed Josh’s legs further apart as the size of the baby’s visible head grew moment by moment. The second she thought the baby was going to start to pop out, she reached up and pulled Peter’s hand indicating he should bob under. While steading Josh, with one arm he put his face under and could see at that moment his baby practically jettison out into the pool. Josh had done it. Muriel swiftly grabbed ahold of the newborn with lightning-quick reflexes and lifted him up still attached to the umbilical cord. Peter popped back up and hugged Josh. Moments later, Muriel handed over the new baby to his obviously adoring albeit woefully under-prepared parents.

“Wow,” is all that Peter could say. This was an unbelievable experience. Josh actually made it look easy. All of that strength-building made him more able to handle this. His body knew what to do even if he did not. Josh was regaining focus faster than to be expected after having endured this breathtaking experience.

“Ok, time to cut the cord and get him breathing,” Muriel said. This time her use of the gender pronoun was accurate. The baby was a boy. She turned to get the sterile scissors and offered Peter the chance to cut the cord. He snipped it according to the location of her fingers, and she quickly tied it up. Then she pinched the baby’s butt and pressed on his chest to help push the liquids out of his lungs. “You’re going to have to turn him upside down,” she said. Josh flipped the baby over holding him by his feet together in one hand and supporting his comparatively enormous head in his other hand. Muriel pinched again, and then rubbed and pushed gently on his chest to force the water out of his lungs. Moments later, the infant took his first breath and screamed bloody murder until he was turned right side up again and cradled in Josh’s arms. Even though the light was dim from the tiki torches, he could make out the face of this darling little infant, the product of him and Peter. Peter hugged them both with their new baby boy between them. Muriel snapped a photo of the three together. “Ok, Josh hug him a lot and cuddle him. This will help your body realize it can release the placenta inside.”

“Placenta?”

“You remember Mintaka, from that video they made us watch in bio class about the baby zebra being born. After the baby, then later on out comes this enormous mass of tissue that’s been the organ connecting mother to child?”

“That’s going to happen to me?”

“I’m guessing so, Josh, so far everything else has gone to the usually expected events — well apart from the gestation period.”

“And me being a guy,” Josh reminded her. He shrugged a bit, but he accepted it. This was all very unnaturally natural. So, Peter and Josh hugged and bonded cuddling their new baby. He was amazing. Here he was. A totally unexpected little miracle. Josh started feeling some more contractions just as Muriel predicted, and the placenta passed out of him without incident.

“What should we do with it,” Peter said wondering if he was supposed to collect it.

“It’s all organic! You can just let it go into the pool and be recycled into nature.”

“Great plan,” Peter said. He was grateful that he had not lagged behind in another area of preparation.

“Ok, let’s get baby Expalibour inside, bathed, and measured,” Muriel said acting like a cross between a drill sergeant and a kind elder auntie. “They will be wanting all of that information for the birth certificate. Also, I didn’t want to say this to you two before, but you are now parents of a newborn, and if it isn’t obvious to either of you, your honeymoon is officially over.”

“Why do you have to say that so ominously?” Peter asked as they climbed together back out of the pool.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound ominous, just factual. Unfortunately, most people have some time to prepare for this. You guys have just been thrown into the deep end without life jackets or a safety briefing, and your lives are never going to be the same again. Full speed into parenthood ahead.”

“Personally, I’m excited as hell,” Peter said perhaps over-confidently while supporting Josh as he traversed the stones of the path one-by-one while clutching the baby to his chest.

“Me too, Pumpkin,” Josh exclaimed. He should have felt uneasy, but he just felt energized. They all three entered the villa. Muriel proceeded to prepare a bathing station to clean up the new baby.

“Well, Mintaka, we always said we wanted kids, I just never knew we would get one that was this biologically ours.”

“It’s one of the most miraculous things I’ve ever seen,” Muriel exclaimed showing a bit more excitement herself.

“Mintaka, are you thinking what I’m thinking.”

“Yes, Pumpkin.”

“Muriel, would you like to be our baby’s U-mother?” Peter asked.

Muriel almost started to cry. “I will, of course. I would love that. I’ve never been a Universe-mother before.”

“He needs a name, Josh,” Peter said.

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about that for a few hours now. What to name him. I had settled on a girl’s name assuming you agreed, but I cannot settle on a boy’s name, but I think he should be called…”

“Hunter?” Peter exclaimed.

“Yes,” Josh said, “how did you know?”

“It’s logical, Mintaka, purely logical.”

“And I think Hunter is a very cool name. Hunter Expalibour.”

“Middle name?”

“No, let’s let him pick one himself when he gets older — like a 16th-year rite of passage.”

“Great idea, Josh!” Peter came over to look at their beautiful faces side-by-side and take some more photos of them. “He looks just like you, Mintaka. Same adorable nose, same chin.”

“Yes, but he has your gorgeous eyes and symmetry,” Josh said. “And look at these tiny little feet and toes. Oh my. I am going to eat those niblets.”

“Ok, boys, enough fawning over your good work for a moment,” Muriel took Hunter and gave him a quick bath cleaning him completely. She also measured him. “He is 20 inches in length and, if this cooking scale is to be trusted, weighs 7.6 pounds. I would say, from the looks of him, he is perfectly normal in every way, but I think a visit to the doctor tomorrow would be a very good idea. They can also fill out the paperwork for the birth certificate, etc.”

“Perfect little ball of joy!” Peter exclaimed. Muriel put on his first diaper and handed Hunter to Josh wrapped in a blanket. Josh held him snugly to his chest. Without even realizing what was happening, Hunter started to nuzzle on Josh’s nipple which was, to be fair, right there in his face. Josh had not expected this nor ever even thought about it. Then Hunter started to naturally suckle on Josh’s nipple. “Poor guy!” He cuddled the back of Hunter’s head. “You’re not going to get much from there,” Peter said. “I’ll make up some formula and get a bottle ready.” Then something miraculous also started to happen. Even though his breast had not swelled up, Josh’s nipple started to deliver milk. Hunter was drawing it into his tiny mouth with each suckle.

“Wait, Pumpkin, look! He’s feeding. This is happening. I’m making milk for him somehow. It feels really surreal.” Peter snapped a picture of his new son suckling on the nipple of his forever partner. “What was going on?”

Muriel looked at Peter and smiled. Her prediction had come true. “Looks like everything is going to turn out fine,” Muriel said. “So, now you know the routine. He’s going to want to eat every few hours, and Josh, you need to eat to keep up your strength, which I apparently don’t need to tell you, and Peter you are going to need to support Josh through this and play your role.”

“I’m prepared, M. That’s what the baby doll is for. Whenever Josh, is feeding Hunter, I am holding the doll. We are in this together all the way.” Peter grabbed the doll and started holding it to his chest. “I wish I could feed him for real, Mintaka, this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed.”

“This whole thing is beautiful, in ways only a U-mother can totally understand.” Muriel stood watching over them as Hunter suckled and his parents watched over him so dearly. “So, Boys, if you don’t have any questions, I think I need to retire and see you three in the morning.”

“Night, Fairy U-mother M. without your help and guidance, this would never have gone so smoothly and safely.”

“Good night, Boys, you are three beloved.” Muriel retired to the guest bedroom and got ready for bed swiftly after a very long, exhausting, yet thrilling day.

“Look, Pumpkin, he’s asleep now.” Peter looked at Hunter who looked very satisfied.

“You did good, Mintaka, he looks very satisfied and peaceful.” Josh smiled stifling any giggle that might bother his sleeping baby. “Maybe we should put him down and get some rest ourselves,” Peter suggested. Josh nodded. They went to their room and Josh put Hunter down on the special, make-shift sleeping space that Josh had assembled according to Muriel’s exact specifications. They both stood watching him breathe for a while and then climbed into bed.

Josh wanted to cuddle Peter now more than anything. He pulled Peter close in and wrapped one of his legs around him and then his arm. He pulled Peter’s face in close for a kiss. Peter kissed him back, and both felt something new. As if they had not experienced so many new feelings and emotions, this one was their first deep, real kiss as parents. Josh looked into Peter’s face, who returned staring past Josh’s eyes and further into his soul. They kissed again and again each time more deeply than before. “I love you so much, Mintaka,” Peter said.

“Me too, Pumpkin.”

“Do you think we are ready for this?”

“Yes, of course, we are, and if not, we better fake it for Hunter’s sake.”

“Shhhhh,” Peter placed his finger up to Josh’s lips. “We don’t need to fake it. All kids need is love, care, and protection. We’re going to give him everything.”

Josh smiled and giggled as he could feel that Peter was getting hard next to him. “Now? Peter, with our newborn, just napping a few feet away?”

Peter could feel Josh’s member swelling too, it was not just his problem. “I feel you too, don’t pretend you’re not excited.”

“Oh, I am. I think there will never be a day when I am not.” Josh rotated so they were face to face and reached down to slide their shorts off. He did not get too far though because as excited as they were, they were also both exhausted, and they fell almost instantly to sleep.