Play It By Ear

One of your characters does not, cannot, or will not speak. Why not? Only you as the writer knows.

It started off as a joke.

Alex was on the right side of the field, checking his phone because no one had hit a ball anywhere near him for the past ten minutes, which was why he wasn't at all concerned when he heard them shout a warning of 'head's up'. Maybe it was a risk to take but none of them were any good at rounders and the only left handed batter, Callum, was on the fielding team so the likelihood of it coming towards him was pretty low.

He was right, too, the ball dropping somewhere on the other side of the field.

And, usually, Alex would be an active player, keen to give anything a try but he'd stayed up till three that morning partying with the guys and he wasn't up for chasing after a ball. So, when they were forced to end the game ten minutes later because it started raining, he wasn't too put out about it.

"Hey," one of the guys from Old Terrace came up to him, clapping a hand on his arm, "that was a good game, it's so impressive how you play despite your impairment."

Alex looked at him, trying to figure that comment out but it was wet and they all wanted to get back inside so he shrugged it off while they gathered up the bats and equipment. By the time they'd got it all out of the rain, the guy was gone.

"Hey," he said, catching Callum as they went up to their flat, "do you think I have an impairment?"

"Yeah," he said, not even having to think about it.

"You're an ass."

Callum grinned, "You love it. Why'd you ask, though?"

"One of the guys from the other block said that I'd played well, given my impairment. That's weird, right? I swear it's the first time I met him."

"I don't know, maybe he saw you while you were drunk because, seriously, you were a mess Wednesday night."

They'd only been at uni for two weeks but Alex had been keen to take advantage of the Freshers' feeling, going out almost every night, so it wasn't too unlikely that he might've crossed paths with the guy before. He'd met a lot of people and forgotten a fair number of them, too, as was the nature of Freshers'.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Callum said, draping an arm around his shoulder, "you're probably not going to talk to him again once we get into the full swing of things. Come on, let's shower and then go to the predrinks at H block."

"Is that where they're happening?"

"Yeah, there and at E. We'll see which one's cooler and then go to that."

"Sounds like a plan."

They wound up at H because it was someone's birthday there and they weren't going to turn down the offer of free cake and balloons if they could get it. Alex was on his second slice of a chocolate log when Scotty found them, coming over with a few cans of the horrific-tasting cider he liked.

"Hey, guys," he drawled, snagging a chair and moving it over to sit next to them, "can I get in on this card game?"

"Sure," Callum split his hand, because he was losing and desperately needed the help, "we're playing Irish Snap."

"Doubles?"

"Of course."

"I feel like I've played more card games in the past two weeks than I have in my entire life," Alex said.

"That's what university's about, drinking and card games. And, you know, the occasional game of rounders when it's sunny enough on the green."

"Oh, speaking of rounders," Callum said, taking a pull of his beer, "do you think Alex fields like he has an impairment?"

Alex rolled his eyes, shoving at him, "You're an impairment."

Callum grinned, "Don't try and cover up the fact that you love me."

"You're just lucky we're flatmates, I'd never socialise with you otherwise."

Scotty looked between them, not so drunk that he'd forgotten what Callum asked him, and a grin began to form on his face, "See, I think I know what you're talking about. Did Hugo come up to you, the brunet with the floppy hair?"

"Yeah, that sounds like the guy, how'd you know?"

"Funny story," he began, "when one of the guys hit an absolute belter of a ball, we called out a warning and everyone moved except you. Hugo turned to me, surprised, and I joking said that you were deaf; he must've believed it."

They were a little drunk, having been predrinking and playing cards for roughly an hour already, which was why Alex thought what came next was such a good idea.

"Wouldn't it be hilarious if you pretended to be deaf?" Callum said.

"I don't know," Scotty said, frowning, "I think anyone would be able to tell in an instant, deaf people have a different accent than normal."

Callum laughed, "That's typical Scotty, putting more thought into a prank than any of his actual work. I guess you'd have to be deaf and mute to make it convincing."

"Dude!" Alex said, grinning at him, "That'd be such a good prank!"

It was one of those things they said glibly without the intent of ever doing it and Alex would've forgotten about it if Callum wasn't so keen on pranks. They'd dyed Scotty's milk green already, sneaking into his flat through the open window, and replaced his shampoo with Nair but he'd noticed that before he showered. In return, he'd bought a fucking creepy voodoo doll and started hiding it in random places. Alex was ashamed to admit he'd nearly pissed himself in fright when he'd woken in the middle of the night and found it hanging from the doorframe of the toilet.

It was getting ridiculous, though, when they were easing into October and he opened his curtains to see it stuck on the outside of his window.

It was also why he was ignoring Scotty.

"Alex!"

He didn't give any indication he'd heard him, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets and carrying on walking.

"Hey," a hand caught him, jerking him back roughly and off balance, the two of them landing in a heap on the floor.

Alex was going to turn and yell at the guy when a car rushed past where he would've been and then all the words just disappeared. Holy shit, he'd nearly been hit by a car.

"How do you even function?" the guy, brunet and vaguely familiar, asked, "I mean, you know how to look left and look right, don't you?"

"Geez, Alex, you  scared me," Scotty didn't sound too worried, though, coming over to them and helping Alex stand, "don't do that again, okay? Callum would cry if I delivered you back to the flat bleeding."

"You make it sound like you have to take care of him."

Scotty looked over at the guy, as if he was seeing him for the first time, and something flicked across his face, too fast to catch, "Well, yeah, he's deaf, isn't he?"

"Really?" he asked, sounding a little disbelieving.

"Yeah," he said, more enthusiastic since he hadn't been immediately shut down, "you're in the same halls as us, aren't you? We played rounders with you before the rain stopped us."

The guy was quiet for a while, like he was trying to find the memory, before nodding slowly, "Right, I remember that, it was a good game, all things considered. I'm Hugo, by the way."

"Scotty, and this is Alex."

"Cool," Hugo smiled at them, getting up and dusting off the back of his jeans, "it was great to see you guys again but I actually have a lecture now. I'll catch you somehow and we can hang out some other time."

"You do that, it sounds like a plan."

They watched him leave, Scotty careful to make sure Hugo was out of sight before turning to talk to Alex.

"It looks like the deaf prank is back on."

Alex rolled his eyes, "I can't believe you're thinking of pranks when my life literally flashed before my eyes."

"You nearly got hit by a car on Friday."

"It's okay to get hit by cars when you're drunk and don't know any better but I'm sober right now and that's scary."

"Your logic is ridiculous."

"My logic is always the best. Now, come on, let's get back to halls, I skipped breakfast and I'm hungry."

Scotty stared at him, asking, "How do you function?"

Alex shoved him, and not gently, "Shut up, Scotty, this is all on you. You kept me up till two last night and that's why I slept through my alarm, I didn't even shower before I went to lectures."

"That's gross."

"You're an English student, don't even try to talk to me about my timekeeping when you have eight hour weeks."

Scotty grinned, "I chose the best course is all I'm hearing."

It was a familiar argument, Arts vs Science, and one that they could never agree on because Alex and Callum were both Chemistry students and they were fiercely defensive of their course. It was good, a lot more contact hours and lab lessons than Scotty's, but they enjoyed it, even if it meant they had to get in for nine some mornings. Scotty wasn't so keen on them ducking out early on nights out but he'd learnt to live with it and they made it up to him with homecooked meals.

"Hey," Callum met them at the door, "you came just on time, I finished cooking a couple of minutes ago."

"What did you make?"

"Spag bol, nothing too fancy, but it's got mushrooms and peas so it's at least a little healthy."

"Did it take you long?" Alex asked, sitting down and dumping his bag on the floor.

"Half an hour, give or take, I was watching catch up TV," he gestured at his laptop, frozen on Russell Howard's face, "come on, let's eat."

Over their meal, Scotty told Callum about their meeting with Hugo and, predictably, he reacted with just as much enthusiasm as Scotty had. Which, of course, they would because they weren't the ones who had to pretend to be deaf and mute for the duration of the prank. But, that aside, it sounded like a really good story to tell later and Alex was a sucker for them.

"Just for the record, this is going to end badly and I want my objections to this noted."

"We'll write that down for you," Callum promised.

"We should start planning," Scotty said, pushing his plate away and bringing out his notepad, "because nothing ruins a good prank more than failing to prepare."

Alex wrinkled his nose, "How do we prepare for this?"

"How do you feel about learning sign language?"

"Pass."

"Okay, how about you don't speak until the prank has finished?"

"Fuck off."

"Which translates as a resounding no," Callum said helpfully, in case Scotty had missed it.

"Fine," Scotty said, "but try and condition yourself not to respond to people, even when they're talking about you, because then the jig is up."

Alex looked at him, "Did you just say 'the jig is up'?"

Callum laughed, "Oh my God, that's hilarious."

In return, Scotty put the doll in the top shelf of their fridge, and their flatmate, a girl called Julia, woke the whole flat up with her screaming.

"Not going to lie," Callum said, still smiling at the memory the day after, "It was the funniest thing I'd ever heard."

"Which is the only reason why I'm agreeing to this stupid deaf prank." Alex said.

Scotty grinned, "I knew you'd get on board."

They made plans about it, when they weren't busy with labs and their midterms, and Alex was feeling pretty prepared when the time finally came. It was just predrinks with the guys from Old Terrace so it wasn't anything too difficult but they were still nervous because a drunk Alex talked a lot. And sang a lot.

"Don't worry," Callum clapped him on his back, "this is going to fun."

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one who has to spend their entire night silent."

Like the name suggested, Old Terrace was one of the buildings that had been there the longest and, as a result, the design wasn't the best around. The flats held ten students and the only entrance was through the kitchen so it wasn't a surprise that Old Terrace was the party headquarters. Alex quite liked the social aspect of it, to be honest, but he didn't mind his own flat of four, either.

"Hey," Hugo greeted them at the door, "help yourself to drinks and snacks. We'll be leaving in around an hour or so to get to the club so, you know, stick around."

"I'll get us some vodka lemonades," Scotty said, moving past them and over to the counter, "you guys go find us somewhere to sit."

"Sit with me outside," Hugo suggested, "the weather's nice and it's going to get hot in there."

"Yeah, okay," Callum sat down on the path, grimacing a little at the cold, "Alex, sit with me."

Alex chose a patch that looked the least wet, letting his legs dangle over the side.

"How'd you do that?" Hugo asked, "Isn't he deaf?"

Callum flicked a glance across at Alex, saying none too convincingly, "He can lip read."

"Really? That's a cool skill to have." He sat on the other side of Alex, moving his hands in a deliberate fashion, "Does he know sign language? Can he understand what I'm saying?"

Alex didn't have to look at Callum to tell him no but it helped when he wasn't facing Hugo because the panic that flashed across his face was a dead giveaway.

"Um, no," Callum said, impressively keeping his cool, "he actually studied American sign language."

"Why'd he study that if he lives in England?"

"He had an American tutor and his parents decided to just roll with it."

"Right," he said, nodding slowly, "because that's what most parents decide to do with their son's only form of communication, roll with it."

"They're free spirits," he offered.

"And, speaking of spirits," Scotty said, coming over with their drinks, "I've got ours. Here, take them before I drop them."

Scotty was better at it than Callum, nudging Alex with his foot to gain his attention before handing over the plastic cup, and, with him carefully redirecting the conversation, it was a lot easier faking deaf. There was also the added bonus that Alex didn't feel like banging his head against the railing every time he heard Callum's terrible excuses.

"Alex," Hugo tapped his shoulder gently, "the taxis have arrived down by the reception. Come on."

It felt like it was too early for an hour to have passed already when he'd only had four drinks and three shots, because that was a much more reliable way of measuring the time than a watch, but there was a line of cars waiting for them and he couldn't argue with that. Alex followed Hugo into a cab and he was pleased that he did because Hugo knew the driver, which said something about how much he went out clubbing, and they had the most hilarious conversation that Alex couldn't remember.

"I don't think your friends are here yet," Hugo said, once they'd paid the fare and joined the queue for the club which was, thankfully, quite short, "but they'll be cool with us going in without them. I'll text my flatmates to tell them what's happening."

And Alex couldn't see anything wrong with that idea because it was a nightclub, the home of booming bass and deafening sound systems, and anything he said would be lost in that. Because, right now, on the wrong side of tipsy, it was going to happen.

"Come on," Hugo yelled, after a few minutes, "let's get closer to the DJ, "I think I saw Scotty over there."

The night was better with their friends, the guys surrounding the girls so they wouldn't get shoved around too much, and it was a given that a jam circle would form from that. Alex would very readily admit that he wasn't the best dancer but it wasn't about that, more about the energy and mood of the people involved than trying to show anyone up. It was fun, the kind that came about from drinking too much and good company, shouting themselves hoarse to the songs that they knew.

It was the last song before they knew it—Let It Go because the clubs had gone crazy with that one and everyone at least knew the chorus—and then they were out in the cold, the girls shivering as they stumbled in their heels and the guys graciously lending their arms for help when they weren't much better themselves.

"So that was pretty cool," Scotty said, "we should go out with you guys again sometime."

"You're welcome to," Hugo offered, "we're a party block down at Old Terrace so there's always going to be something happening. Just text us or, you know, find us in the clubs."

"Yeah, we'll do that, won't we, Callum?"

Callum wasn't a lightweight but his tolerance had gone down with midterms and how much they had to study for them, passing up on nights out,  so he wasn't quite up for talking, much less walking on his own.

"Don't worry," Hugo assured them, "we'll teach him how to drink like a real man. Maybe Alex could show him how, he was a champ out there."

Alex was too far gone to remember he wasn't supposed to talk and he opened his mouth, not exactly sure what was going to come out, but knowing that it was definitely going to be something. Scotty was looking at him, a mix of something between resigned and amused, which he assumed was a go ahead to speak, as if he could stop it if Scotty said not to.

"What's up?" Hugo asked, tilting his head.

Alex turned to him, a little lost on what to say but that was okay because, in the end, he didn't need words at all.

Instead, he vomited, and Scotty cheered because the prank was still on.

Loosely based off the AAA El Paso Chihuahuas' prank on Jeff Francouer because that was hilarious. As usual, vote and comment please. :)