Guilt

Jezzabelle's POV

When I got the call from one of my house maids being scared for her life because of Brad having an anger tantrum at home, I knew I had to go back as quick as I could.

Many people outside of Brad's family didn't know that even though me and Brad had a great relationship, we also had a bunch of secrets inside our relationship that wasn't as great as people would think if they found out.

One of the biggest secret in our relationship was brought up the first time I met Brad, when I went to the school nurses office for an excuse note for PE.

Yes, my lazy ass did not want to exercise and sweat during those times. Anyways, I went to the nurses office for an excuse note from her so I could get out of running the 20 minute mile bullshit.

But I was shocked to find a bloody bruised blonde cute guy in there waiting in the office for the nurse to get more bandages to patch him up.

It was awkward but at the same time cute to see a bloody knuckled guy with a heart racing smile apologize for taking up the nurses time with his drama.

It was the first time I've seen the guy so I did what normal people that were bored and waiting for the school nurse would do, I sat beside him and talked to him as if we had been the best of friends.

We chatted while the nurse was away and he explained to me the reason why he wasn't seen around school as much as he'd like. He told me about how he would spend a lot of his school time in the nurses office or at home due to his uncontrollable medical condition.

He explained to me that he suffered from a medical condition that his parents had payed off for the school to cover up most of his absences and missing school work.

Seeing a cute handsome guy with bruises and cuts all over his hands and face was enough to pique my interest, but a guy that suffered from a medical condition that causes him to have sudden outbursts and lose control of his body by episodes of anger.

I didn't understand how a medical condition could make a person turn so angry to that extent but after seeing it with my own eyes after we started dating and he lashed out on one of the football players in our school that groped me in the school hallway, I realized his medical issue was much worse than I thought.

It was like he was a completely different person, to me he would show a passionate and caring side but when he relapsed it seemed as if there was nothing that could stop him from lashing out.

What made it more confusing was the fact that his rich parents tried everything they could to stop him from his own temper. He went through so many doctors, psychologists and anger management classes until they decided it was best for him to stay on medications that he had to take every morning so he wouldn't relapse over and over like how he would as a child.

And being the supportive girlfriend I was, I stayed by his side through every doctors appointment and anger classes he had to take, just to make sure the guy I fell in love with in that nurses office stayed the same way I found him.

I just don't get why he was relapsing now, and especially at a time while I was in another country with another man.

"Miss Rose! Thank god!" The maid shouts in relief as soon as I ran through the bedroom doors.

"We tried to get him to take his pills but he's not listening to any of us" She rambles on as I watched four of our security team members trying to keep Brad on our bed but he was thrashing harshly in their arms.

"It's okay guys, you can let him go" I say gesturing them to release him but they stared back in disbelief.

"He won't hurt me, just let him go" I add on as they hesitated before letting him go slowly.

As soon as they let him go, Brad jumped off the bed and lunged at them but instead of letting him do it, I moved in front of him with a stern look on my face.

"Brad, you need to take your pills" I speak out the same way his doctor explained me to do if he ever relapsed.

"Belle" He mumbles after a while of heavily breathing in front of me with his dark eyes.

"Yes, it's me. You need to calm down. You're not feeling well again" I reply softly while gesturing the people behind me to move out of the room quickly.

"Where were you?" He growls out while pulling at his hair frustratedly.

"I was on a business trip. You know I'm always gone and my schedule-"

"You didn't tell me"

"What?"

"You always tell me where you're going before you go. You didn't tell me!"

"You said you were going on a business trip for a week, I didn't think you would-"

"Why wouldn't I care where my own fiancé is at?! I love you! You're my-"

"Brad! I love you too. Just calm down and we-"

"No! You didn't tell me you were leaving! I wanted to surprise you by leaving my trip early but you weren't here! I tried to call you but you weren't picking up! I thought.....I thought you....left me"

His eyes suddenly turned soft after his words left his lips making my heart ache at what he was thinking.

"Brad I would never do that to you" I answer back truthfully as he kneels down in front of me with an exhausted sad expression.

"I thought you were leaving me because I forgot our anniversary. I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid! I didn't fucking remember our special day! Fuck!" He shouts while hitting himself making me quickly pull him into my arms to stop him.

"It's okay Brad. Calm down. It's not your fault" I whisper now using the method of calming a child down to fix the situation at hand considering his doctor claimed it was the best way to calm a person with the same medical condition, down easiest and fastest.

"I love you Jezzabelle. I don't know what I would do without you. I promise I'll get better for you. I'll try not to get angry again. I swear" He mumbles against my neck while planting kisses against it.

At the realization of him turning back to his usual calm self, I slowly lead him to our bed so I could get him out of the sweaty and disheveled clothes he was wearing.

After getting rid of his dirty clothes, I used the glass of water by the bed that the maids put beside his pill bottle, I made sure to lift his head up from the pillow to allow the pill to be swallowed before I poured some of the water into his mouth afterwards.

"I love you" He whispers as I remove my shoes and clothes to lay down beside him while feeling his hand gripping mine tightly.

"I love you too" I answer back tiredly laying next to him.

Thinking it was already the end of this eventful night, the feeling of Brad planting kisses along my neck made me freeze up against him. I was facing the opposite side of the bed and yet his body was now so close against my backside while his hands were roaming my body.

"I want to show you how sorry I am belle" He says into my ear as I gulped nervously.

"It's fine Brad, I already told you-" before I could stop him, he tilted my chin to the side so he could pull me into a passionate kiss.

"Brad" I gasp out trying to get him to stop but he was already groaning and grinding himself behind me.

"I want to make you feel good. Can I make you feel you good? I want to show my lovely fiancé the way she deserves to be loved" He whispers into my ear as I felt a sense of guilt hit me.

Why was I feeling nervous about sleeping with the man that I've been in love with for 9 years? Instead of being here to wait for him to come back from his business trip, I was to busy having sex with his boss in a whole different country. What the hell is wrong with me?!

Deciding to let the guilt consume me, I laid still on the bed while letting Brad have his way with me. It was the least I could to make up for not being here for him when he relapsed because of me. And it was good that the lights in our bedroom now was dark, seeing as I still had bite marks and other marks from Alessandro's rough antics only less than 24 hours ago.

...

The next morning surprised me when the sight of my in laws in front of my bed woke me up. Reason one, it's been a long time time since I've seen them. Reason 2, I was completely naked with their son underneath our blanket right now. And reason 3, the guilt from last night was still in my mind.

"Good morning sweetie! We heard what happened last night about my sons relapse so we decided to come check on him, but it looks like you've done more than what we could ever do to calm him down" Brads mom, Beatrice, says wiggling her eyebrows at me as I laughed awkwardly while covering up my body.

"We had the maid set up breakfast downstairs, so we'll leave you two to get dressed and we'll be awaiting for the cute couple's presence downstairs" She says winking at me before grabbing her non emotional husband out of the room.

Between the two, Brads mother was the complete opposite of what I thought a rich soon to be mother in law, would be like. Beatrice has always been kind to me since the minute I walked into their house 8 years ago after Brad confessed his love for me and he wanted me to meet his parents the next night.

His father on the other hand was exactly what I thought a rich man like himself would be like, to busy to notice anyone or anything. He was always on his phone when we had dinner together or were at a family function that their family planned out and asked me to join. He barely smiled and when he did talk to me it was always short answers or a nod and a forced smile.

I didn't know if he liked me or not but I did know that whenever I asked Brad if his dad hated me, I would get an expensive gift on my front door the next day. Brad explained to me multiple times that his father wasn't one to voice out his feelings and emotions so he'd rather show it through spending a lot of his money. Which was one of the many reasons why he gifted me and Brad the mansion we lived in now.

"Was that my parents?" Brad yawns out while sitting up beside me as I nodded with an awkward grin.

"I guess we have to spend time with them today" He huffs out while letting out an irritated groan.

"I'll have to call out of work, knowing how long they talk and want to spend time with us" He adds on before getting out of bed.

Noticing his naked body, I laughed to myself while watching his bare ass walk inside our bathroom to get into the shower.

Realizing what time it was, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand to also call out from work just as Brad was saying. My eyes widened at the large amount of text messages and missed calls from Alessandro since last night.

Hearing Brad's horrible singing in the shower made the large boulder of guilt in my chest grow by the second. I quickly block Alessandro's number and promise myself that I would never do anything with him anymore.

As hard as it was to do that, I couldn't bare anymore guilt inside me. Especially since it's my own fault that my engagement is getting worse due to my recklessness with another man. I can't lose the man I've loved for so long due to some amazing sex and gifts from another man.

I needed to end whatever relationship I had with Alessandro way before we even had that amazing trip to Italy. Everything just happened to fast and I was caught up in the moment. Now I need to be there for my fiancé and make sure our relationship isn't side tracked anymore.

"After that amazing night we just had, I thought you would've jumped in the shower with me" Brad says walking back into our bedroom with a towel around his waist.

Usually the sight would make me wanna jump his bones but now my body seemed to be stuck in place with no emotions at all.

"You wanna have some more fun before we head downstairs" He says leaning over the bed to kiss my cheek as I smiled before pushing him away.

"I'm still stinky from last night you horny animal" I reply with a snort as he laughs before biting my neck playfully.

"I can't get enough of my sexy goddess of a fiancé" He chuckles while watching me walk into the bathroom, sending a wink my way before I closed the bathroom door.

...

"You two are absolutely adorable! I see that happy glow on both of your faces right now" Beatrice says as soon as me and Brad sat down at our dining table where they were seated on the opposite side of us.

"Ever since you two were together as young love sick teenagers, I knew in my heart that you two would be soul mates for life. I can tell by the way you both make each other the happiest just by being beside one another" She continues complimenting me and Brad while our maids placed our breakfast plates and drinks in front of us.

"I remember when I was engaged to mister grumpy pants over here. I was the golden girl of my highschool just like you Jezzabelle. Captain of the cheerleading team, valedictorian, popular and the best looking girl in school. A lot of the kids in school, even some school teachers and staff at the time, were shocked when I ended up giving the school outcast and goth rockstar a chance to be my boyfriend" She explains as the sound of Brad's father, Michael, coughing on the pancakes he was eating filled the room.

"Wait! What?! Dad was a goth rockstar?!" Brad gasps as our eyes widened at the sudden bombshell.

"Yup! Can you imagine the chaos in our school at the time? Goth rockstar Mika dating the valedictorian of the school" She beams while happily squeezing her husbands arm, who for the first time had a look of embarrassment on his face.

"Mika? That was your rock name back then?!" Brad asks excitedly as we all laughed at how red Michael's face turned.

"I think it was just a short term for Michael but he told me back then it was a cool nick name he created that let people know who was the drummer of the rock band Legends of Doom" She scoffs making me and Brad laugh even more at the revelation.

"Legends of Doom?! That's the name of your band?!" Brad gasps while laughing uncontrollably.

"Do you want this fork to be shoved up your ass before breakfast is over?!" Michael snaps at his son silencing the room in a flash.

"Michael don't threaten our son in his own home!" Beatrice retorts back with a slap on his arm.

"As if! I'm the one who paid for it plus, even if I was in a rock band in highschool, at least I wasn't a geek" he scoffs making Brad burst out in laughter again.

"Geek? Who even says that anymore?" He chimes in before his father tried to lunge at him over the table.

"Calm down boys! Your animosity is scaring my poor daughter in law!" Beatrice snaps making both men in the room sit down quietly in an instant.

"Speaking of daughter in law, have you guys made any wedding arrangements yet? I have a bunch of ideas I have for the venue, date, bachelorette party and decorations" She changes the topic quickly while glancing at me with an excited grin.

"We haven't really began the planning process since we've been so busy lately" I reply awkwardly taking a sip of my tea as she gasps.

"Brad! You haven't planned anything?! Are you planning to stay engaged forever? When your father proposed to me after high school, we got married the next day" She nags Brad as he rolls his eyes.

"That's because you two got drunk in Las Vegas the day after your graduation and got hitched while being drunk off your asses" He retorts making his father slam his hand on the table.

"Don't talk back to your mother! If you wanna keep this beautiful woman by your side, then act like it. A man should know how to show off their woman and be smart about it. Just because you put a ring on her finger doesn't make her yours fully till the day she walks down the aisle. Jezzabelle here is a keeper, so if you want to keep her, get to work on making her dream wedding come true before another man steals her from right under your nose" Michael scolds his son as I watched in astonishment.

This was the first time I've seen him speak more than a few sentences. And it was also the first time I've heard him compliment me face to face. Usually, Brad would say his father complimented just between the two of them during their conversations but he never did it while I was in the same room or in front of him.

"Her dream wedding? What about my dream wedding? The groom can't-" before Brad could finish his childish whining, his mother cut him off.

"Happy wife, happy life. Whatever my daughter in law wants for her wedding, you should provide as the man she's been handed to, to cherish and love. Your job is to cater to the woman who has to put up with you for the rest of her life, which as the woman who raised and took care of you, is a lot to handle as it already is" She chastised before wiping her mouth gently like the classy woman she was.

"I'm done with my breakfast. Jezzabelle, would you like to join me in the backyard for a morning stroll?" She asks quickly standing up from the table as I follow her with a nod.

Walking out to the backyard of our mansion, I turned back to see Brad being scolded by his father who was turning red in the face just by how angry he was.

"I honestly don't know how you do it" Beatrice sighs while walking beside me.

She was leading me towards the large seating area I had set up in the back of Brad and my house after I realized how much of a great view there was of the city in our backyard.

"Do what?" I question trying to figure out what she was saying.

"I know it's a lot to handle my son, especially after finding out about his medical condition and his different ways of showing his emotions. Trust me, I know a lot about how these Mitchell men are. They're not easy to be with" She says while staring off towards the view in front of us.

"Not easy to be with?" I ask suspiciously not getting what she was trying to say.

"As much as I love my husband, there's a lot of things I have to cope with that most people don't see on the outside or our relationship" She answers back with a frown on her face.

I've always known Beatrice as the happy type, since she's always been kind to me. She always had the same beautiful smile plastered on her face every time we met up but right now, it was strange seeing her without her normal smile.

"I don't know if Brad's case will be similar to his father but I want you to know that if something were to happen with you and Brad, I want you to know that I will always take your side and I will fully understand if you decide not to be in this relationship anymore" She explains before changing her expression as soon as the sound of footsteps were heard behind us.

"Baby, I gotta head back to work. There's something I need to deal with. Will you be heading out with me or-" Michael didn't finish his question before his wife got up quickly with a nod.

"I'll let the beautiful couple spend some alone time together without me hounding over them the whole day. I love you both so much, see you guys next time. And you guys better have had a lot of ideas and plans for the wedding when I do speak to you guys next time" She exclaims happily hugging both me and Brad before walking out with her husband hand in hand.

"I apologize for the way I spoke to both my parents and about you earlier in the dining room" Brad says as soon as they leave through the backyard door.

"Do you want to start wedding planning right now? I don't think we have to if you don't want to, I just want the both of us to be on board with it and not be so caught up with work to not have the time to think about our future" I pondered out my thoughts towards my fiancé who was caressing my cheek gently.

"It's up to you. Just like my mother said, happy wife happy life. Any time you wanna start, I'll be happy to hop on the bandwagon" He answers back with a grin before leaning in for a kiss.

I smiled as his lips meant mine only to be surprised at his sneaky hands beginning to roam around my body.

"I love the way you look without makeup on" He mutters against my lips making me stop all my movements at his words.

The memory of those exact words coming out of another man, specifically Alessandro, made my heart race with excitement. Why the hell am I thinking of another man while my fiancé was kissing me?!

"I just realized we've never had sex out here. Do you wanna be adventurous today?" He asks while sucking gently on my lower lip as I smirked before nodding.

"Come on future Misses Mitchell! Off with your clothes now! Let's bless our backyard with our nakedness!" He exclaims loudly before jumping up to throw his clothes off in a hurry, making me laugh.

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