30 - You Are Strong

Ailsa

Everything is dark. I blinked, and I blinked again, but nothing appeared to me through the dimness. I tried to move my hands, but they were locked in place. I wrenched my arms up, trying to pull away from the weight that kept me down. All I seemed to accomplish was making my bones groan in agony as they took the brunt of the movement.

My throat took precedence suddenly, demanding attention away from my bound hands. My throat is so dry and tight, a feeling unlike anything I've experienced before. It was painful, and I wished that my hands were free just so that I could grapple at my neck, almost as if that would somehow give me an idea of what the sensation was and where it was coming from. I briefly wondered if something was tied around my neck.

I didn't know where I was, although it felt familiar to me somehow, like I had been here, and not just once, but as if I had been here many many times, but this time it felt different. It felt awful.

"I can't believe this. Are you actually trying to escape?" The voice was deep and rich, and all too familiar to me as I dreamed about it often.

"Fraser!" I exclaimed, reeling as my head began to pound with pressure as I tried to turn. I twisted, trying to look around in the darkness for him, but pain exploded down my back. I choked as the motion sent a jolt straight to my mouth that felt like sand.

I lick my lips, finding them cracked and tasting of blood. My teeth were... sharp. I slid my tounge along the edge. Razor sharp canines met my proding.

"Don't act so surprised."

The disembodied voice of the man I love seemed to taunt me, but that couldn't be right. Fraser isn't like that he would never do something like that. Why was he speaking to me like this?

"Where am I? What's happening?" I twisted again, ignoring the agony sweeping through my whole body.

A dark, thundering chuckle reverberated through the air, making me suddenly aware of how frigid it is in the place. The clothes on my back felt tattered and torn to shreds against my bare skin, not nearly enough to keep me from shivering

"How adorable, you actually have the gall to be confused? You act as if you don't know what's happening, as if you don't deserve this? As if you haven't brought this all upon yourself?"

His voice echoed, the deep richness of his timbre confusing me. I usually loved the way his words make me quiver, but now all they made me feel was afraid.

"Where are you? Please, Fraser, please." My voice was unsteady, alien to even my own ears. "Please come out and we can talk about this. Please, I don't understand any of this, I just..."

I gasp as a new wave of pain exploded down my back again.

"Agh, what.. what is that? What is happening?" I begged, trying, and failing once again, to move my arms. It was no use, all the struggling just put me in more pain than ever. I wanted to howl.

"Not so fun is it?" Fraser sounded pleased, amused even, but each word seemed to ring with foreboding.

A light appeared suddenly, and I blinked against the new brightness. A candle had been lit not too far away. It flickered to life, dancing across my field of vision, and lighting up the man that I had grown to hold so dear.

He looked different than the way I've always known him. Gone is his beard, his scraggly hair trimmed as well. Fraser is clean and dressed in a kilt and smooth white shirt made of linen.

Those are not the only differences though.

He was on the other side of bars, but not the right side

"What?" It comes out in a broken whisper, this word that I couldn't seem to stop saying. I blink rapidly, trying to dissolve this fog of confusion that still grips my head.

A grin crept up his face, lighting his handsome features with dark pleasure

"You are my prisoner now, Ailsa. How does it feel to be trapped like an animal? How does it feel to be gawked at as if you're not even a person, not even someone worthy of mercy or love?" He barked a harsh laugh, shaking his head. "How does it feel to be less than human?"

"No, you don't understand Fraser, I am not the one who put you in here. Why are you..? Why are you doing this?I can't..." I tried to get the words to come, but they wouldn't budge, seeming to get stuck in my teeth on the way out. I swallowed the words I desperately wanted to say, itching down my throat that is still dry and becoming more sore with each passing minute spent sputtering half sentences.

"But you didn't set me free. Isn't that the same as keeping me prisoner?"

Tears began collecting in my eyes, and I wanted to scream at him or rip my hands free of their chains, but I couldnt. I was stuck, frozen by fear and a sorrow so great that I couldnt breath.

"I'm leaving, and I won't be coming back for you."

Fraser's eyes were cold as he said this. He leaned down to hover over me.

"This is what you deserve."

When I sit up ramrod straight in my bed, I'm soaked in sweat and panting.

Tears are falling down my cheeks, and my pillow is wet with tears.

"Fraser." I murmur, a pained whimper.

I can't remember my dream well, but I remember him. It;s the middle of the night, he must be awake. Has to be. If he's not, I don't know what I'll do.

Grabbing my lantern, I spring from the room like a loaded trap. I bound down flights of stairs and race through dark hallways. My feet bare, my nightgown still drenched and ticking to my body.

It doesn't matter because I have to see him.

He's surprised to see me when I arrive. He sits up, his shirt still gone, his dark eyes wide.

Something I remember from my dream was his clean cut look. His beard had been missing. I love his beard.

"What is going on? What's wrong?" Fraser wonders, real Fraser, his lips twitching at the corners like there's something amusing going on.

"What'dya mean?" I say, holding ky lantern high as I look down at him.

He breaks out in a grin, his brilliant, white teeth glimmering. The sharp tips of his fangs make him look oddly predatory and my stomach flops around at the sight. The things he does to me with a simple look...

"Well, I was thinking you werent coming since you spent hours with me yesterday. You show up now, much later than usual, and all you came to do was stare at my chin?" Fraser runs a hand over his beard. "Does it look that bad?"

I laugh, practically falling to my knees before him, scooting closer so that we're almost touching. His teasing tone releases some of the tension I've been holding in after that horrible dream. It mustve been horrible, because I had been scared of Fraser.

My Fraser, scary. Not possible.

"No. I like how you look. Do you always have a beard? Or is it just because you cant shave in this dreadful place?" I ask, and he ponders it for a moment.

"I dont usually grow out my facial hair, but I'd gladly keep it for you, lass." He murmurs, his tone a grumble of rasps. I feel my face heat, and I'm quick to put my hands up to my face to cover the pink thats surely taken over my cheeks.

Frasers hands shoot out to stop me, wrapping around my wrists and pulling them away from my face.

"Dont. I adore that." He frowns suddenly, narrowing his dark eyes at me as he leans forward.

"Whats wrong?"

"That's the second time you've asked me that. Would you enlighten me as to what you mean?" I don't mean for the words to come out crass, but they sound that way.

I want to apologize, but stop when my words elicit a small smile that quirks to the side.

I gasp. I think I love this man.

"This time..." He starts, eyeing my hands as he slides his grip up to turn my palms up. I look down, noting how much bigger his hands are than mine, and tanner too. His skin must be naturally olive toned, because he gets no sunlight down here.

"This time I ask because you're covered in sweat and your eyes.... They're wild. Mind telling me whats the matter, mo cuishle?"

I've never heard him speak so gently before.

"Bad dream." I choke, more flashes of the nightmare coming to me bit by bit.

"And your first thought was to come to me?"

I turn my head, observing him sternly. How could he even ask that?

"Of course."

Fraser stares at me blankly, processing.

His grip becomes tighter before loosening as his hand comes up to my neck, wrapping around my throat as he yanks me forward. His strength is demanding, and I have no choice but to submit.

"I want to try something." He says, and I nod, blindly following his lead. My heart flutters at the way his thumb tucks under my jaw, locking me in place for his own purposes.

He moves quick, so quick I barely see the way he sits up before pulling me all the way forward until my face is pressed against the bars, my cheeks molding into the cold metal.

And then, warmth, warmth all over, because his lips are on my mine and my eyes are closed and my heart is beating a thousand times.

His lips are dry, and so I stick out my tongue barley, just to wet them. He takes the opportunity to pull my tongue into his mouth to battle with his own. His mouth is hot, demeaning and rough.

He's a man starved, and acting much more desperate than when he drank my blood.

My breath rushes out in a whimper, and he groans throatily. His hand squeezes my throat as his tongue surges into my mouth. A clammer of arousal jolts me, unexpected but welcome.

I move my lips carefully, sliding my tongue slowly. I don't want to mess up. I don't want this moment to end.

But it has to end at some point.

Might as well be me that puts a stop to it. Because of course my lungs will chose now show their dismay at me enjoying my life for once.

I mewl again, but not in delight this time. No air is coming in, and my lips cease their movement just as my lungs do.

Fraser notices, pulling away to look down at me, eyes wild with what I can assume is lust.

"What's.." He stops, as if looking in my eyes tells him everything.

I try to breathe, try to think, try to move, but I can't.

My body gives out as it focuses on dying, I almost fall away before Fraser grabs my shoulders.

"No, no." He demands roughly, desperately. If anyone were to hear him, they would assume that hes the one in pain. He's holding me too tight, likely leaving bruises on my upper arms. I wish I was in his arms as the cold pain grips my lungs.

"Just listen to my voice, lass. Listen to me." He takes a deep breath, filling his chest to the brim. I envy him. I try to inhale and nothing happens. A strangled sound leaves my lips, and he's cursing while his panic grows.

"Listen to my voice. Listen to my breath."

I do as he says, focusing on him, just him.

"Listen to the air come in and out. Calm. Listen." He murmurs, sounding panicked and serene at the same time. He shows me his breaths, making them long and slow to get me to calm.

I focus, but my body still wont work, and black creeps into the edges of my vision. I'm going to pass out here in his hands. Maybe that's not so bad.

"I believe in you, mo cuishle. You are strong."

As if the sun has risen after a long night, the air rushes into me in a loud gasp, and I fall forward, hitting my head on something. At first I think it's one of the bars, but when I open my eyes and see brown I know that I am forehead to forehead with my vampire saviour.

"I think you just saved my life." I murmur after a long pause.

He smiles, his eyes pulling up.

"Well, I had to return the favor."