40 - I Am Nothing

Fraser

I am nothing, nothing at all. I've been reduced to a useless pile of flesh and bone with a bit of blood still in me. I'm not in pain. Shocking, seeing as there's a gaping hole in my side, but there's nothing to feel when you become nothing. There is only lack, lack of what was, lack of what could be.

It's healing rather slowly, but nothing can fix the wound in my heart, too deep to be reached or seen or touched. The outside afflictions are coming together, but I need blood to truly be healed.

After I blacked out, the world swirled into a blur. I didn't wake until the next night. Chained, mouth parched, side aching, head spinning.

My mate. Where is my mate?

My hands are tied with manacles, clamoring and clinking from any movement of my body. I am a true prisoner now, in every sense of the word.

Ailsa is gone. I'm not sure when I'll see her again, or if I will be granted such a gift before my life is taken.

They come for me again. Her father, his men. They rough me up. Spit on me. Lash at my back with a whip. Pour holy water onto my face, hoping it will burn.

None of it shakes me, not even a bit of it. I feel nothing but numbness. The lack of blood flowing through me is enough to strip my physical sensations altogether.

My insides are a different story.

I dream of her, and only her as I drift in and out of dreams and cursed reality.

Ailsa blushing. Ailsa smiling. Ailsa hiding her smile behind her hand. Ailsa squinting in concentration as she reads aloud. Ailsa kissing me. Ailsa tentatively suckling at my vein.

Ailsa in my arms. Ailsa's pained cries as she was grabbed. Ailsa's bruised and broken body.

Even though I'm nothing, I'm drowning, and even though I am drowning, Ailsa keeps me afloat.

My supernatural body goes into survival mode, shutting down systems as the human wreak more and more harsh damage against my skin. I close my eyes, picturing her, and suddenly it feels as if I'm floating above these rapid waters of a river determined to pull me under.

Eventually they leave me, their presence fizzling out and the air clearing.

I'm unaware of anything, even the familiar tick tick tick of the water fades into nothing until I am all that I see and hear and feel.

My breathing is uneven and harsh. My skin is clammy and cold. My clothes are torn and ravaged.

Madness lingers on the edge of my thoughts as I dift into the darkness. I know nothing. I have nothing. I am nothing.

Ailsa

I may very well go insane.

It's all I can think as Gentry follows a step behind me everywhere I walk. Things have been odd in the days following the incident, and I'm growing more desperate with each minute that ticks by. Time wasted.

Somehow, and I'm not sure how, father has kept the thing under wraps. The priest and Gentry were sworn to secrecy. My midnight screams were attributed to a nightmare, the screams the next morning blamed on a health scare.

Everyone in the clan bought it, or some were just too afraid to ask questions.

The worst part wasn't even Gentry becoming my shadow, no, that I could tolerate easily enough. But the guard posted right in front of the door to the dungeons, that was an issue.

I wasn't naive enough to assume that I would be able to go back to visiting Fraser as if nothing happened, but my soul mate is dying.

It's not a theory, some way deep in my heart I can simply feel it. He's dying. Alone. Scared. And because I am weak, there is nothing I can do to save him.

Well, that's not exactly true. I have an idea, a mere little sprout of a plan, but I have yet to lay it out into a feasible thing.

Gentry hasn't asked questions. She hasn't even spoken much, and neither have I.

Feeling the weight of Fraser's injuries and weakness, I am burdened with somberness that can't be discarded or patched.

Driven insane, I must move to my last ditch effort before I combust.

I will die either way, so might as well try.

"Gentry, I'd love a walk outside." I say one morning, days have passed since I was cast of any 'demons'. The time seems to pass slowly and yet it feels as if it was only moments ago.

My maid blanks, staring at me in the mirror as she brushes my hair, readying me for the day.

"Oh? Well that would be nice. It's rather rainy today. Maybe tomorrow."

I shake my head.

"No. It must be today." I whisper.

A certain understanding floods her gaze, and she nods. She doesn't ask questions, does not fight it, and soon enough we're on our way out of the main keep and strolling the vast, green lands that make up the clan's property.

I eyed the rolling hills topped with smoggy clouds of cottony gray, so dreary was spring in the highlands.

The rain persisted, and I couldn't help thinking about how the rain of spring was a sign. Spring is a sign of rebirth, of washing away the past, a fresh start.

I could only hope that it applied to me.

We've been walking for a while, complete silence between us, the only sounds the misting or the rain and squishing of our feet in the puddle-like grass. It sloshes against my dress hem, painting it brown.

Gentry stops suddenly, and I look at her before anxiously returning my gaze to the woods.

"I left my cloak in your chambers." She says, something meaningful lingering in her gaze. "I'm going to go fetch it."

My mouth drops open, wanting to say something, but it snaps shut as I flick my eyes back to the treeline and back to her face in a fraction of a second. My plan is laying out like a carpet right in front of me, begging me to take it, tempting me to make a run for it.

"I'll take my time, lass. That will surely give you more than enough time to run off and do whatever it is you're plotting, yes?" She casually tucks her hair behind her ears.

As usual, Gentry has read me like a simple story book, seeing right to my core.

"How did you-" I start, but shake my head, deciding it's a dumb question.

She cups my face with her warm palms, pressing her lips together as her eyes become glassy.

"I don't know what's going on, but I know love when I see it." She says, nodding towards the keep. My face burns. "Whatever it is you need, you need only ask."

I take a deep breath, biting my lower lip to keep it from trembling.

"I just need as much time as you can give me. Distract my father if you must.."

She smiles, releasing me and taking some steps backward.

"That I can do, lass, that I can do." Her amusement eases some of my fear as we part.

The woods are darker today than usual, as if a deep blue has been cast over everything. I wander aimlessly for a bit, then I remember where I need to go and I change course. I go towards that hill that I stood on not so long ago.

I march with purpose, tripping every now and then over some roots or weeds slicked with rain water.

As I get closer, I start calling out his name, my intended target.

"Alec!" I yell, my voice bounding through the trees and bouncing off stone cliff sides and low hanging tree branches. "Alec, come out!"

I stop for a moment, glancing around as water gathers on my eyelashes.

"Alec!" I demand again, continuing my journey, more swiftly this time. There is no time to waste, I've already wasted enough as it is.

There's no response, but I can feel a presence here. I know someone is there, and I'm out here a lot, he's the only one I've ever encountered in these ancient woods.

"I know you're there, you coward! What, are you afraid of a human girl?" I scoff, putting my hands on my hips as I slow to a stop, turning in a small circle.

I sense eyes watching me, how many I don't exactly know. Even looking up into the trees I still don't spot him.

Nothing. Birds chirp, rain falls, and he still won't reveal himself.

Fine. I guess Ill have to really step it up.

"I need your help, to save Fraser. Please. He's dying and you're my only hope." I say loudly, my body deflating of energy and purpose as time continues to drag. "Please."

I wait patiently, my dress soaking me to the bone, plastered to me like a second skin.

My breathing hitches when I hear footsteps closing in, and then a deep voice calling to me from the shadows behind my back.

"Start from the beginning, and tell me everything."

I turn to look at him, seeing he's not alone, two other massive males flanking him on both sides.

A huge sigh of relief leaves me, and I want to sink to my knees.

"That's gonna take a while, how much time do you have?"

Bing bong, things are happeninggggg

Predictions!? Let's hear em!

See you soon :))