45 - No Time To Waste

Fraser

Many years ago, I fought valiantly in a battle to defend the freedom of Scotland against the English. There were several forms of firearms being used by then, and the sound of a rifle erupting close to my sensitive ears left them ringing loudly for hours. I haven't experienced the sensation in years, until now. My ears are aching with the noise of it.

I groan, wanting them to silence, wanting the agony of the annoyance the cease. Where is the dripping water when you need it? I'd prefer that immensely.

My pain is bad enough, now I got another little pestering thing on top of that? At the thought of the wounds, I begin to process, to reassess. Then something goes off in my head.

The realization comes in full swing. There is no pain, not even a slight sliver of it. I feel good. Refreshed. Strong.

I flex my hands, by the Moon Goddess I feel stronger than I have in all my life. The sheer power pulsing in my veins aids me more than I've ever known. The sensation of the power is like a current, begging to be used and causing me to be utterly restless with the strength of it.

Rolling, I look down at my arms, tensing my muscles and watching them move solidly under healthy looking skin. I take a deep breath, recognizing the fresh air pulling into my lungs. Its startling, this realization that I am indeed outside, that there's night air all around me, and there is no hard floor underneath me.

Nothing remains of the stone cell built around me. All it left me with are horrid memories and harsh realities.

It all comes back to me as I stand, teetering on my unstable feet. The jail. The chains. The lashes. The pain. The torture. The starving. My mate.

I shoot up straight comnpletley, my balance returning as I stumble forward, frantically looking around. Night ahs fallen, the forest I'm sitting in is dark, stars lighting up the sky, the moon in waning gibbous. Trees are everywhere, not a single one of them familiar to me. Wait, forest? How the hell did I get here?

More importantly, where is Ailsa?

Ailsa!

I'm running now, passing through the trees frantically, the ground crunching beneath my shoeless feet. My mate, I need to find my mate. I frantically shuffle through the thick foliage tangling my boots, my wits are not as quick as they should be. I'm still recovering. Still reeling.

For Goddess sake, I dont even know where it is that I'm going, let alone where I am. All I know is that I must find my way back to her. Must I simply follow my intuition? Will it guide me well?

"Woah there, Fraser. It's alright. You're safe now." I stare at the vampire that is now before me, bumping into his chest in my haste and stopping to stare at his unruly hair. The curls fall over the place, his smile welcoming and sly. His green eyes are all too familiar to me as he holds me in place.

"Alec?" I grumble, his grin is enough to confirm. He spreads his arms wide.

"We finally found you, Laird. We saved you. Took you from the Sinclair's as they slept." Alec says on a mischievous laugh, and then I hear another of those self satisfied laughs behind me. It's a chuckle I've heard for years, and one I thought I wouldn't hear again.

I whip around to see my dear friend Gavin standing there. I'm in shock. He is still the same old nuisance. I grin, and chuckle in happiness.

I turn back to Alec, and immediately go to him, embarrassment be damned. It has been forever since I'd seen my kin and I am not about to hide my joy of it. I hug him tight to me, ruffling his hair.

"I missed you, brotha." He says, "but not enough to stand your affections, especially when your smellin like that." He pushes me away and we all laugh, it's then that I notice big guy leaning against a nearby tree, being his usual brooding self.

They rescued me, as I knew they would.

I shake my head, smiling a smile that's only half hearted, my mind wandering to other places.

Mainly, my mind is fixed on my wee little mate who has to be waiting for me by now, wondering where I've gone off to. I won't make her wait long. It makes me anxious that she isn't here at my side.

If I'm here, then she must still be at the Sinclair holding. She doesn't belong there, she has to be with me. I need to touch her, feel her, make sure she is alright. She's not safe there. Each minute she spends under the same roof as her father, her life is in danger.

I have no time to waste.

"I'll be goin now." I ramble, turning and stalking back into the woods. I have to keep my thoughts on track, I need to get back to the Sinclair clan as soon as I can. Ailsa needs me.

"You were there for months, and you're so quick to be back?!" Gavin shouts and I shake my head, still walking away without a glance over my shoulder.

"Eh, I'm speakin' to you. You gone deaf? You're actin mad!" I whirl around, glaring at my little brother with anger. Moonlight splays against his young looking face, casting shadows across the sharp planes of bone and skin.

Only seconds ago I was glad to be reunited with him, but now I'm furious and close to killing him. There are more pressing matters at hand.

"I've found my mate, she's still there. I need to get her back. If you'll be kind enough to aid me, I'll be indebted to you." I say reverently, my gaze scanning them continuously.

The reaction I get is not one I was expecting. A mate is a prize any would be lucky to find, and yet they are not rejoicing. Both of my comrades go completely silent.

They seem full of dread, as if they've just been through a bloody battle. I would've thought they'd be happy for me, cheering, clapping me on the back and then helping me retrieve my woman without a second to lose.

"Your... your mate?" Alec says, his voice a void of emotion. Why is he suddenly so pale?

"Yes, are you jealous? I didn't take you for that sort of male, Alec." I jest, but my brother remains quiet. They all stay oddly silent, in fact. I don't know what to say. I suppose they want to stay here.

I turn again, shaking my head and trying to start on my journey again when a mere sentence stops me, freezing me like a statue.

"You mean Ailsa, don't you?" I turn to see Nairn leaning against a tree. It's the first I've noticed his hulking presence.

My mind is numb at his monotone voice. He sounds emotionless. It's the first he'd spoken all this time, and his words hit me the most.

"Yes, how did you know?" I ask, finally looking back at them again. My clan mates do not look happy.

They won't meet my eyes.

They look as if they're in pain. Alec most of all.

"How do you think we got you free? She helped us." It's Gavin that says it.

I blank for a moment, soaking in the information. That's when sheer anger takes control.

"And you just left her behind?!" I rage, stomping towards them, wanting to rip out their throats one by one and bathe in their blood.

I picture my precious Ailsa, alone and scared, wondering where I am. I promised her I would always come back for her, and I pledged my love her. My own clan mates stood in the way of that promise.

Alec steps back, worry creasing his features. Nairn remains silent, but Gavin is the one to finally speak up.

"You don't understand, Fraser." He says calmly, but I understand perfectly well. I want to tear their heads off.

"How dare you?!! She is small and defenseless, how could you leave her to fend for herself. She has an ailment, she can scarcely breathe half the time. She can't stay there! Her father will kill her!" I yell each word, my body getting heated more and more.

Damn them! My precious, wee mate is alone because of them.

They knew about her, and they abandoned her. I have to get her back.

"You don't understand!" Alec shouts, taking a step towards me, and I growl, ready to fight. I may love my brother, but I love Ailsa more.

"Understand what?!" I demand, my rage knowing no boundaries. I'll kill him in a second's time for this.

"She's dead!" He screams, a vein in his forehead bulging.

I go silent, my heart pounding in my chest so loud, the ringing tripling in volume.

Dead? No. Ailsa is not dead. She couldn't be dead. Fear swallows me. It's not possible. I won't believe it.

The look of sorrow on my brother's face is enough to tell me otherwise.

Pain beyond compare shoots through me. She couldn't be gone, could she? My wee, little Ailsa, sweet as honey. She is my purpose. My love. My life. She can't die. My clan members are simply jesting, they think me a fool.

"You lie." I demand gruffly. Shaking my head in denial.

He's lying, the bastard.

"No. She's dead. She was dying when we got to you, too far gone for any help. If I'd known she was your mate I would've changed her. I just... I just thought..."

"Thought what?" I ask, my voice like gravel, not believing a word out of his mouth.

Something so terrible cannot be true.

"Thought you were using her. She was a Sinclair, a human, none here thought she meant anything."

I scoff, my blood boiling.

"Never." I take a deep breath, steadying myself. "How could she be killed? Her Father wouldn't stand for it, she's yet to provide what he wants. Surely she's fine. You must be confused. No one would hurt someone as sweet as my Ailsa."

Again, they're quiet. I knew it. They were lying to me, trying to make me abandon her. That was never going to happen. I turn again, walking away.

"It wasn't her clan that killed her, Fraser."

I stop, growling. I've had enough of this charade.

"Who, then?"

"You."

No.

My breath shutters. My body solidifies into nothing more than hollow stone.

No, no, no, no.

The deepest fear of my soul creeps in, haunting me. I always knew I was capable of hurting her. I recognized if I wasn't too careful I could kill her easily enough. It can't be true, though. I would never hurt my precious, wee mate. I love her. I could never...

A dark memory suddenly surfaces from nowhere. I'm in the dungeons, my fangs sunk deep into a soft, life saving meal. Sweet words of devotion were murmured in my ear all the while, a small hand touching my hair.

"It's alright, my love. Take all that you need."

I cry out. The pain too much to bear. My knees hit the ground, but I don't care. All I care about is gone, destroyed by my own hunger.

I killed her. I killed Ailsa.

My fingers rake the dirt, crushing roots and rock beneath my grip.

I ended the only happiness I'd ever known. She'd come to my aid, come to help me escape and I'd drained her of all life. And now I'm being told that she's gone for good, and that it's all because of me.

I roar, punching the ground. A shattering pain like no other cripples me.

I'm not sure I can move.

"Are you sure?" The voice sounds far away. I dont know who it came from. I dont care.

"Sure of what?" Someone asks.

"Sure that she's dead." The other voice demands.

"Please... Not my Ailsa." I beg, pleading with my friends through sobs and shouts.

I can't bear the thought of my mate being dead. What if she's still alive? What if there's hope still? Would they toy with me in such a way by giving me false hope when all is lost?

"She wasn't dead when we got there, but she wasn't far from it. I'm so sorry." Someone further explains, and pain explodes through me.

I'm in agony. No other torture is even close to this. Bring the whip, I'd take a thousand lashes before taking another second of this.

A sob escapes me. I've never cried. Never. But as I sit here in shattered pieces, tears fall to the forest floor.

"Stop. Something's not right. She can't be dead." I look up at who said it, Nairn, expression nearly blank, and everyone else stares at him too. His eyebrows are furrowed, his jaw set.

Alec stomps towards him, absolutely furious.

"Don't lie. You saw her, same as I did. She was dying, plain and simple. Her heart was barely beating in her chest. She had minutes left." My younger brother describes, and I hate each word. I feel hollow, the only thing in my head is an image of my Ailsa, laying there motionless from her blood loss.

Why did I have to be born as a monster?

"No, she has to be alive. Don't you understand what I'm tellin you? If the human is dead, then Fraser would not be like this. He wouldn't be himself. He would be gone. No emotion besides rage and bloodlust. He would be at our throats, no recognition at all. He wouldnt be like... this."

They continue to argue while I mourn, only listening to the hopeful message with doubt. How can I even hope that she's alive? I drained her. I deserve this agony for what I've done.

"But, don't you have to... you know..." Gavin offers, and they both look at me.

In order to complete the bond of mates, the two must exchange blood, and have sexual relations.

"We did not consummate our relationship." I fill in, and Alec sighs, motioning at me.

"See, that's why he's normal. He never got the chance to make her officially belong to him." All hope leaves me, and I wish for death.

"No, no, you don't understand. Regardless of if a matehood is officially consummated or not, if one dies the other is no longer who they once were. If Ailsa were dead, Fraser would be useless. He would be at our throats like an animal. His eyes would be as black as his soul. So, she is alive, somehow, she survived it."

My eyes widen, and I realize that Nairn is right. If she were dead, I wouldn't be aware, I would only want death and blood from the loss of my mate.

Ailsa is alive, my mate is alive. Relief floods me, and I know I have to get to her, and soon.

"We're leaving, right now."

Super long chapter! Hope y'all enjoyed