53 - More Than Enough

Ailsa

He stays slanted above me, eyes shadowed with worry as he looks me over. Assessing every piece of me.

My memories are fuzzy, and I try to make sense of them while I sit up. My head protests. Vision swimming, I groan and Fraser forces me to lay back down.

"Relax, you must take it easy. You've gone through an ordeal." He instructs, pressing my body into the bed under me. Wait, bed?

I glance around uneasily, unsure where I am or how I got here. Most concerning is how... clear everything seems.

I freeze, overwhelmed by how sharp everything looks.

I can see the cracks in the stones above my head, the splinters in the wooden beams. I easily spot the tiny flecks of dust collecting on the large desk.

My head turns when the roaring of a fire tickles the inside of my ear. The flames crackle and pop and my throat tightens as tears spring to my eyes. My heart thuds so powerfully in my chest, I fear it might break out.

I don't know why I'm crying, why the panic is building, but suddenly Fraser is gone. He's in front of the fire, stamping it out with his foot until it's gone. The logs of wood are blackened, and coals scatter across the ground.

He returned to me, slipping off his boots and crawling into bed with me.

"I'm sorry, mi cuishle. I should've known, I just wanted you to warm." His fingertips brush my cheek, and I take a good, long look at him. "Truth be told, I thought you'd be asleep longer. I didn't know what to expect. I've never turned someone before."

His beard is gone. I'm momentarily stunned by that, seeing his clean shaven face, albeit sprinkled with some dark hairs are starting to sprout.

"Turn? Turn what?" I ask, my own voice sounding strange to me.

Fraser looks meek, embarrassed. His cheekbones bloom pink. I've never seen him with such an expression.

"I'm sorry, but you were dying. I had to.. I had to do something. I'm so sorry." His voice light as air, I can't help the momentary confusion as my brain continues to awaken from its fog.

The horrifying memories come back to me in a slow trickle. I remember the dungeons, Gentry, the fires.

I shoot up, pushing Fraser away.

"Gentry!" I yell, trying to escape the bed and startling myself at the strength in my limbs. I stumble, falling into the wall as I look around wildly, trying to find the door.

"Darling, please, lay down. You need to adjust." He's grabbing me and holding me tight. I fight him, but barely. It's so nice to feel Fraser against me, but not nice enough to distract from the fate of my friend.

"Gentry. Is she okay? Please, please.." I beg, emotion clogging my throat.

"She's fine, love."

I sag in relief.

"We rescued her too, of course. She's safe." His lips press together in a grimace. "Of course she came out unscathed. I wish I could say the same for you."

My mouth falls open, and I look down, seeing the angry scars that snake up my feet. Ugly, red marks that will remain on me forever.

I must have made a face or a sound of distress, because Fraser shakes him head and scoops me up. I'm more aware of our size difference when I'm hefted into the air like this.

He places me on the bed.

"You're safe, that's all that matters. Don't worry yourself over such minor things." He murmurs, settling me under the blankets, fluffing the pillows behind me before settling me all the way down.

"You said you turned me. What does that mean, am I .. am I like you now?" I ask tentatively, realizing how different I feel now as I flex my fingers.

Fraser freezes for a moment, then nodding slowly, expression agonized.

"What's wrong?" I ask him, taking his face in my hands and trying to smooth the frown lines by his lip with the end of my thumbs. "I expected it. Of course, I assumed it would happen that night that we went to free you, but you... didn't."

The last word sounds choked as it escapes me, the same gut wrenching pain from that moment returning in one swift breath.

"The pain of realizing I was left behind is worse that any death, or becoming a vampire for that matter." I say, and Fraser is quick to respond.

"I didn't want to leave you, Ailsa, please believe me. It was my brother, my clan mates, they thought it was the best option. I nearly went mad when I found out. I woke up, and you weren't there. I wished for death myself. I thought... I thought..."

He groans, shaking his head before pressing his forehead to my shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, he tries to speak again.

"I was led to believe that you were dead. I thought I was too late. I thought I'd killed you myself." He admits against my skin, and I fold him in my arms.

"It seems we've both been through enough, don't you think?"

He nods, and his big, warm body is shaking with a bit of laughter. I laugh too, reveling in the feel of being here, with him, no bars between us, no danger to be seen.

And me, no longer a mere human, but something better.

I run my tongue across my teeth. They feel no different, that is until I catch a whiff of Fraser's neck. It smells slightly of sweat and overwhelmingly male, overwhelming him. Suddenly fangs are sliding free from my gums, right in front of my top canines.

My fave floods with heat as my stomach tightens in an odd way. I turn my face away, closing my eyes tight and trying not to think of the way blood is pouring through his veins right now.

I contemplate this new, second chance I was given in life. I wonder how many changes I'll have to become accustomed to. Will I always want to bite into people as if I'm no better than an animal?

"What's wrong? Are you thirsty?" He wonders, concerned, but I keep my face away, eyes closed right as I try not to breathe through my nose.

As soon as my mouth is open though, Fraser puts a finger to my top lip and lifts it. He sighs in frustration.

"Ailsa, look at me." I reluctantly peek up at him, face flaming that he saw the eager fangs in my mouth.

His face softens, and he shakes his head as he chuckles.

"It's alright, it's part of this life. I'm used to it, and you will become accustomed to it soon enough. You must feed." He reaches for the top bottoms of his white shirt, pulling it aside as if it's no problem at all.

"What if I can't stop?" I ask, anxious at the thought. "I can't hurt you. I won't."

His eyebrows turn up, confused.

"You'll be able to stop. It's easy enough."

"But you didn't." I say, still panicked.

I immediately regret my words as pain slices across his face. I try to backtrack but he puts a hand to my mouth.

"And I'll live with that for as long as I live, but trust me, it's not a common thing. It's not an excuse, but I was starving. The rational man inside tends to leave in dire situations. But please trust me when I say that I will never do that to you again, and I would rather die than let you go that far."

I stay still, nodding when I realize he won't let go out my lips until I make it clear that I understand.

"Now please, feed. You need you're strength. I drank plenty the past couple days because I knew I'd need to feed you. You'll never need to feed off of anyone but me, I can hunt enough for the both of us."

My mouth pinches, and I shake my head.

"You don't need to do that. It doesn't sound fair."

His mouth splits in a heartbreaking smile. Feral. It makes him look feral. And so handsome that my chest aches.

"Doesn't matter. I want to. I want to take care of you. No one has ever treated you as you should be treated. I need to care for you." He insists, and his tone is so pleading I can't help but agree.

So I allow him to offer up his throat to me. So much trust in that offer, so much love, and acceptance.

I realize that he's right. No on has ever cared for me in such a profound way, and allowing it to happen is so hard but so comforting.

I push the tears away with the heel of my palm before giving in to the thrist and taking the blood that's offered.

My teeth sink into his vein and blood rushes into my mouth. It's so different than it once was, so much better, so much more.

I groan, taking greedy gulps of the oddly spicy, salty, sweet liquid.

While I eat, Fraser's finger skate across my side. He murmurs sweet words in my ear. Encouraging me. Soothing me. Loving me.

Long after I drink his blood, we remain entangled. Staying quiet and just reveling in each other. No barriers now. We can be together.

So many questions dance around my head, but I keep them inside. For now, I'm alright to enjoy this with the worries of what happened and how I got here. For now, this is more than enough.