✨ Not my choice ✨

Samantha

"Why are you marrying me, Samantha?", when he locked his arms around me, I felt a sense of calmness which I never felt before. Despite my stomach were making a lot of actions, my heart felt solace.

No doubt, I have started settling with his family with so less span of time. But that's the way it all sets when you have never received a love of a family. Everything else feels better. People together. It just fits.

The same happened to me, Devaansh Uncle, I mean Papa has made things easier for me. Even my mother in law feels more like a mother to me. She is too sweet and caring and I don't know why but I connect with her a lot.

Amaira and Armaan seem to be the missing pieces of my life who brings chaos but in a peaceful way. I like their company. Even Ruhaan is a good company to be with. I have had a good conversation with him and he seems to be a gentle guys who cares a lot about his best friend.

When everything has started happening so fast in my life, there is the one person who is still a puzzle to me. And that is him. Abhimaan.

I try to be comfortable with him but he is a mystery to me. I don't know why but everytime I look at him, his intense glare makes me not to break the eye contact we share. It's like there is an unsaid conversation going on between us since the moment we have seen each other.

Everything about him is a bit confusing to me, the moment when he absolutely shows no interest to even sharing a glance to me and the next moment, he is helping me out with my dress selection and being absolutely caring. It confuses me and piss me off at the same time. Not that I expect anything from this marriage.

Though we haven't met a lot but I can feel that he is someone who doesn't opens a lot to everyone. He is quiet. On his own. Reserved. Dedicated to his work. But absolutely someone who needs vibes to connect with.

There is also a part of me inside which sometimes gets scared of the mixed signals he passes to me. I know this marriage is not happening under the right circumstances but I don't know what to feel about it.

Flashback....

"Please, Uncle. Come in. Have a seat", I said offering a seat to Devaansh Uncle who has came to visit me right after he gave me my Dad's letter.

It was tough for me to take all in but I'm my father's daughter. I know how to get up and smile again.

"So, what have you decided, Samantha?", he asked me while I stood in front of him rubbing my knuckles with random thoughts in my mind.

I sighed before I said,"Main Abhimaan se shaadi karne ke liye ready hu, Uncle", I completed my words which instantly brought a wide smile to his face.

"Kya kaha, Samantha? Tu sach bol rahi hai naa beti?", he asked getting up from his seat.

I nodded passing him an assuring smile while he patted my forehead lovingly, "Bahut khush hu main, Samantha. Aaj Samrat jaha kahi bhi hoga bahut khush hoga."

"Maaf kar de mujhe jo maine tujhe iss mushkil mea daal diya", he said emotionally.

I looked at him as eyes were welled up with the tears when I held his hand which was on my forehead, "Beti keh rahe hai aur maafi bhi maang bhi rahe? Ye sahi nahi hai, Uncle. Main apne Dad ke liye kuch bhi kar sakti hu. Agar isme unki khushi thi toh main unki baat kaise naa maanti?", I smiled at him.

He instantly wiped off his tears, "Bas teri yahi baat dekh ke main laalchi ho gaya. Aur Abhimaan ke liye koi aur jachi hi nahi", he smiled back at me.

"But Uncle, meri ek sharth hai", I said slowly.

"Kya beti?"

"I want that your Company should hire me as it would hire a normal employee. I want to work on my own identity but not by being someone's wife. You will pay me the same you will pay to any other with the same skills. And I will return all your money", I said.

He looked at me in shock first but said, "Lekin tu meri ghar ki bahu hogi. Woh tere hi paise hai, beti", he replied back.

"No, Uncle. We both know that it's not the right circumstances and I don't want to put an amount of any relationship. Marriage is a relation of hearts and I don't want to impure it", I said.

He smiled back at me nodding, "Bas ek aur aakhri cheez maangna chahta hu tumse main. Maang sakta hu, beti?", he asked hopefully.

"Sure, Uncle. Please."

"Abhimaan ki maa ke jaane ke baad humari zindagi badal gayi. Usne jaise khud ko ek pinjare mea band kar liya ho aur uss band darwaze ke andar uska pita bhi nahi jaa paya kabhi. Lekin usse ek aise insaan ki zaroorat hai jo usse khud ke kaid se bahar nikal paye. Aur mujhe humesha se lagta tha ki tere se behtar mere Abhimaan ke liye koi aur nahi ho sakti.

Main chahta hu ki iss baare mea kabhi Abhimaan ko nahi pata chalna chahiye,beti. Woh mujhse aur nafrat karega. Aur main uski nafrat ke sath toh shayad jee bhi lu lekin uske bina nahi", he asked with tears in her eyes.

I felt a clinch in my heart as I never wanted to start anything in my life on the basis of lies. But when I saw Uncle in this condition, I could not refuse to him. He seemed to love a lot to his son and if saying something even if that's true can ruin everything between him and his son, then no matter how hard it takes.

Main Abhimaan ko kabhi sach nahi bataungi.

"Don't worry, Uncle. I will never do something which might ruin anything between you and him", I said with a promising smile.

Flashback ends....

"Kyu ki aur koi option nahi hai mere paas", I replied realising what I actually just said. He frowned back at me giving me a confusing expression, "Mera matlab.... kyu ki mujhe tum hi....mile. A single choice you know", I know I'm too bad at this.

But I can't break my promise I did with Abhimaan's father. I don't have parents. And Abhimaan lost his mother years ago and now he has his father who loves him a lot. I can't ruin that. I can never, even if that makes me the biggest liar of his life.

"By the way, Mr. Malhotra, you applied mehandi, don't you?", I said passing a soft smirk to him and he immediately backed off a little looking at his palm.

He then looked everywhere but not at me, like the person who was making me nervous a few minutes ago is now not able to make an eye contact with me.

I noticed the same darkness in his eyes.

Lighting up the tense air around us, I chuckled at his expression and turned to leave when his voice stopped me, "Samantha", he called.

"Huh?", I turned to look at him.

"Sure naa? Are you hiding anything from me?", he asked with hope in his eyes. His voice softened with his last word which forced a voice inside me to blurt it out with an expectation of him understanding my side.

I walked to him taking the tissue from the table, "Does that change your decision of marrying me?", I asked softly rubbing the mehandi from his palm when he held the tissue in his fist, clutching my hands in his too.

"Marrying you was never my choice, Samantha", he said bluntly, making me look at him as I knew what he meant by that.

Is it right to marry someone who doesn't even wants to. Am I being selfish?

But I can't break my Dad's trust.

Are you marrying him only because of your Dad?

Do you still ignore that one percent of hope that has started taking place in your heart?

Do you still neglect that you don't feel the urge to know more about him?

Or do you only feel relieved that you are keeping your Dad's promise?

"Kya tune Abhimaan ko apnane ki koshish shuru nahi kar di?", my conscious echoed inside me and I realised that his words has already pinched me a little. I felt hurt.

Realising the depth of his words, my heart panicked. I felt trembling on my feet already. I have started feeling the urge to be in this marriage and the man standing in front of me is saying that marrying me wasn't even his choice.

I know I know this already but why does everything inside me want to refuse it?

How am I supposed to take all this? Isn't this an unreal marriage? The condition I was given with and the destiny I'm bound with. Saving my Dad's last memory at the cost of being into a loveless marriage is my destiny.

That's what it was supposed to be.

Why this hope, Samantha?

Just because you had a guilt of hiding something from him. Are you this low who compensate with people's emotions?

Don't forget that you are alone on this planet. Expectations will hurt you in the end.

When countless thoughts occupied my mind making it to stop working, I felt my body becoming like a rag doll who was unable to stand on her own feet. Soon the sight of a tall handsome figure standing in front of me got blurred.

The dizziness will take all your left energy especially when you have not eaten anything from the morning. Sitting at a place for so long, smiling in front of people you don't even know and now, hearing some blunt statements from your husband to be is an add on to it.

"Samantha....", I felt his arms encircled around me and the second he held me, I was zoned out.

"Samantha.....", I read his concerned eyes before I passed out.

___________________________________________

I opened my eyes and the sight in front of me couldn't fit in it. I was surrounded by Papa, Maa, Chacha, Chachi, Amaira, Armaan and Ruhaan. My head spun for one more time to recover everything just happened. I remind that I fainted and Abhimaan carried me to I think it's his room. Yeah, I remember it from the last time.

"Beta, are you okay?", Papa sat beside me. I tried waking up when he refused to let me do so, "Samantha, didn't you eat anything from the morning?", he asked worriedly.

"I forgot, Papa."

"That's why you fainted in this hectic day. Don't do this, Samantha. Take care of your health, okay?", he said to which I nodded obediently.

"Khyati, bring her some food to eat and make sure to eye on her until she finishes the whole", he said in an authoritative tone and she left, nodding.

"Papa, I will manage....", I spoke when he pointed his finger at me.

"No 'I will manage' thing, Samantha", he warned me.

"Uncle is right, you must take care of yourself, Samantha", Ruhaan said to me to which I just smiled back.

"Let her rest everyone", Papa said while everyone left passing me a caring smile.

"Abhimaan, take care of her", I saw Dad saying to Abhimaan who was just entering in the room. He was wearing a black tshirt and a grey sweatpant as I noticed he already changed his previous dress.

He nodded coldly and Maa came after a few minutes, placing the tray of food on the headboard of the bed, "I will manage. Thank you!", he said to her in a cold voice and she left passing me a genuine smile.

As he came closer in my direction, I tried sitting up on the bed. I felt I don't know what as he immediately asked me to be at my place, "I will take a leave", I said.

"Thank you for the help."

"Stay where you are", he said in an authoritative tone and I glued myself at my position.

His eyes were dark, his actions were controlled while his words were precise, "Why didn't you have the breakfast?", he asked as he sat near me while I shifted more to the other side.

His voice is enough to intimidate me.

"My hands were filled with mehandi", I said showing him my palm when I noticed that my mehandi was already light brown.

"Who wiped off my mehandi?", I asked back furrowing my eyebrows.

"I did it. It already stained my kurta and when I took you here, I had to wipe it off", he stated coldly.

"Arey kyu kiya tumne? Mujhe kuch aur time rakhna tha. Agar colour nahi aaya toh?", I whined.

"Woh tumhe behosh hone ke pehle sochna tha", I rolled my eyes at his words.

"Don't do that Samantha."

"What?"

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

"Why? Are you Christian Grey?", I twisted my lips when I realised what did I just say.

Embarrassment, please take me with you.

He smirked back at me,"I won't mind being that for you."

"Not your fault. Tumhari shakal hi besharmo wali hai", I snapped back at his words.

He sighed before taking the tray of food in his hands,"Now, eat", he said, placing the spoon full of veg rice in front of my mouth.

I didn't fail to notice his gesture when my mind recognised his words,"Marrying you was never my choice, Samantha."

Dear mind, why do you give me flashbacks at the wrong time?

Because that's needed for your emotional fool mind.

My expression turned into a cold one, I'm not going to fall into his trap, "Thank you, Mr. Malhotra. But you don't do such things against your will", I said as I stood up from the bed not before trembling slightly.

Ignoring him, I turned to take a leave when I felt a strong grip on my wrist, "Don't test my patience, Samantha", he said pulling me to him.

My front body collided to his chest as his blue ocean eyes felt too deep for any understanding, "Stop ruining my peace, Samantha", I tried getting rid off his hold.

"I think that should be my words, Mr. Malhotra."

He pushed me slightly to the corner of the bed's headboard, "Chahti kya ho tum mujhse?", he gritted his teeth in anger.

The rage was visible in his eyes as if I was feared of, "Stop giving me mixed signals. Why are you playing with me, Mr. Malhotra?", I said looking straight into his eyes.

"Because you are making my heart go against my mind. And I don't give that privilege to anyone, Samantha", he said firmly.

"Stop coming near me."

"Why? Do that effect you in any ways, Samantha?"

"Of course, not. Why would it be? In fact, I don't even like you as in a person."

He twisted his eyebrows at me, "I didn't even mention about any likeliness, Samantha", he buried his eyes more to me while I licked my lips.

The fuck I just said.

I saw him smirking at my words which infuriated me even more, I hate him, "Khana khaye bina iss room se bahar nahi jaa rahi ho tum", he commanded. To me? How dare he?

"Tum mujhe nahi bataoge main kab aur kaha jaungi", I debated back.

"Bataunga nahi. Seedhe saath jaunga aur zaroorat padi toh jaane se rokunga bhi", he said shamelessly.

I pushed his chest to create a distance between us, "Kis hak se?", I asked furiously. He provokes the shit out of me.

"Shaadi ke card mea Abhimaan weds Samantha likha hua hai. Padha nahi tumne? Bas ussi hak se!", he smirked back at me.

I chuckled at his words, "Oh, have you bipolar disorder, Mr. Malhotra?", I asked.

"What?"

"Because as far as I remember you weren't into this marriage thing. And as according your words, this marriage is not of even your choice", I repeated his words.

"Listen, Samantha", he said coming closer to me while I looked somewhere in the room.

"I know my words were wrong. I shouldn't have said it like that", he said slowly.

I gasped in shock, "Wait, did you just apologize? Oh my God! Aaj ka din intihaas ke panno pe likha jayega", I said dramatically.

"Ho gaya?", he passed me a cold glare.

"Now, have this. I'm not going to pick you up every time you faint", he said, offering me the plate of food which I took gently. I sat in the bed and started eating the food.

I noticed his tall figure standing there but I ignored his presence," Thanks", I said, my focus still on my plate.

"Kha lo waise bhi bahut halki ho tum", he said making me gaze at him in disbelief.

"Did you just body shame me?", I squinted my eyes at him.

"Drama....", he said and left the room, gluing his head back to his phone.

***************************************

Toh kaisa laga chapter? 🥹

Guys, I know aapko Abhimaan thoda confusing lag raha hoga but it happens you know.

He has been cold and heartless for so long and now, there is a part of him who is getting attracted to Samantha and wants to trust her and then there comes his past traumas. 🥺

He has a fear that everyone will leave him for their own sake. And sometimes he goes with the flow but later on restrict his emotions.

But I'm sure that Abhimaan is going to be the greenest flag ever.🫶

Trust me on this.

Chalo ab comment karo aap log kya sochte ho! 👇

Aur silent readers aap log follow hi kar lo mujhe! 🥰

Notes: Update every Tuesday.