Chp. 6

The days had started to pass painfully slow as I tried to keep myself busy with school and dancing but there was only so much I could do. Jada was still upset over losing the fight and now she had to recover which meant she couldn’t start fighting until her concussion healed, setting back her professional career, if she even still had one. Not to mention how she was constantly talking about Drew and how she wanted a rematch, how she needed one because it just wasn’t fair.

It didn’t seem as if it was going to pass anytime soon.

I was no longer mad at Drew, but rather scared of her and sad at the fact that I knew staying away was in my best interest. The feeling of having to cut something out of your life, something that had meant a lot more than you had realized sucked. I felt bad for doing this to her, I felt bad for abandoning her but I just wasn’t sure if staying was the best thing for me.

I had thought about her all weekend though, Monday too, and then Tuesday for rehearsal I had ignored her. She had seemed to get the hint whenever I walked in and ignored her glances, and then she hadn’t spoken to me for the rest of the night.

I had almost expected a text or something by Wednesday but nothing came, which I was sad and grateful for at the same time. Staying away from her was a good and bad thing, good because Jada would be pissed if she found out and I really felt as if Drew was a stranger now. Affiliating myself with her was dangerous, and I had realized that Friday night.

Then again ignoring her was bad because I felt as if I had led her on and then abandoned her, which was exactly what I was doing. That ate me up inside, knowing I was hurting her but I knew she understood deep down somewhere that I had my reasons to keep my distance.

But here I was, making my way to the gym for Thursday rehearsal and I was actually dreading walking into the gym. I sort of expected Drew to be there and I sort of expected her not to be, simply because I wondered if she would keep putting herself in my line of view.

I opened the door, seeing her immediately at the front counter, feet propped up with a book in front of her face. A part of me was pulling me towards her but I fought it, walking up to a guy cleaning a weight machine and asking, “Would you mind letting me into Studio B?”

I knew my voice had caught Drew’s attention because I heard her shuffle behind me, and immediately I felt her eyes on my back. I didn’t turn around as the guy nodded, leading me up to the studio where I would wait for all the girls to show up for rehearsal. Don’t get me wrong, I hated the feelings that I got now that I was trying to keep my distance from Drew but I knew this was probably for the best.

At least for me…

But it didn’t feel like the best decision, which threw me off because it only made me want to talk to Drew. I was scared that if I got to close to her Drew could snap, and she could hurt me. I mean what I had seen last Friday was still freshly burned in my brain.

Eventually the girls started filing in and Maria walked up to me, “Are you ever going to tell me what the hell is going on with you and Drew?”

I shook my head, “There’s nothing going on Maria…”

I could see her wanting to protest but she knew now wasn’t the time to start all of this, and I was grateful we had rehearsal. As much as I wished I could talk to Maria about this whole situation I knew I couldn’t, simply because it wasn’t my place to tell her the truth about what Drew was involved in.

It could get her in serious trouble and I wasn’t going to be the one to do that to her, I was already doing enough…

I wasted no time falling into rehearsal, knowing we only had a few more weeks to get everything solid. Everyone was excited for the recital, including myself, but the stress was starting to show up on my doorstep and it could really get to you if you allowed it. I wanted to rehearse until I felt the dances would be executed proficiently, and I knew the week before the recital we wouldn’t have much time to get the steps down.

The hours started passing quickly, my calves were burning along with my thighs but I continued to push through the dance. I knew this one would require a little bit more strength considering it held a lot of ballet moves but I knew it would turn out great if we got it down.

I felt the sweat on my brow, pushing myself and the rest of the girls. This was my escape, this right here. The dancing was a release for me, it was a way to say what I was feeling without having to say anything at all. I lost myself in the music, it set my mind free, and it made the time pass as if minutes were seconds.

Eventually it was time to wrap it up as I turned off the system like every night, heading over to Maria knowing I would accompany her to the bus tonight. I knew the questions were going to be inevitable but maybe I could get around them somehow.

I just didn’t know how to dodge all of Maria’s prying.

She looked at me, “Let’s get out of here, I’m exhausted.”

I turned, seeing Drew at the door, readying to lock it up for the night. Her eyes caught me but her mouth stayed shut, and as I walked past I tried not to hold eye contact. I hated doing this but I was so uneasy around her now and I knew exactly why. It wasn’t my fault that things had turned out this way but it is what it is, and distance was the right thing to do.

Maria tensed as we walked out of the gym, “You’ve got to tell me what the hell happened.”

I looked down, wishing I honestly didn’t, “Maria… she’s just… she’s not who I thought she was.”

“What the hell does that even mean? Did she try something on you or…?”

“No,” I answered, “It’s nothing like that… she’s just on a different path as me.”

“That sounds stupid and I know you’re leaving shit out, Breanna.”

I could hear her getting impatient and I knew she had every reason, but I honestly didn’t want to talk about it. I couldn’t tell her why I was afraid of Drew suddenly because it was dangerous for Drew’s safety, and a part of me knew Maria would probably agree with me and force me to stay away. I guess I was keeping it a secret because if anyone else knew and told me to stay away from her it would be the final push to stay away, and a part of me didn’t want that at all.

I shook my head, “It’s just complicated…”

“Bree, I saw the way you looked at her, how you two act around each other…” she trailed off, looking ahead at the approaching bus stop. She continued, “I haven’t seen you light up like that in a long time, especially since Ashley…”

I knew she was right, I mean I had felt exactly what she was talking about but I knew none of that mattered now. Drew wasn’t good for me, and I knew she would probably hurt me eventually just like everyone else. It was better to save my heart while I still had most of it, even though Drew had filled a tiny piece of it within the little time we knew each other.

I continued, “It’s just not gonna work, Maria.”

I could see Maria shaking her head as we sat on the bench at the bus stop, forcing me to look for my phone. I felt my heart sink as I realized I had forgotten my dance bag in the studio and my house keys were in there.

I groaned, “For fuck’s sake…”

Maria looked at me, “What?”

“I forgot my bag,” I stood abruptly, knowing I would have to make my way all the way back to the gym.

Maria stood, “I’ll walk with you…”

The bus came to a halt in front of us, allowing me to shake my head, “No, its fine. Get on the bus, I’ll just catch a cab home.”

I could see worry in her eyes but Maria knew how stubborn I was, and fighting with me just wasn’t worth it. She nodded me off, “Okay, text me when you get home okay?”

I nodded, “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

I started back towards the gym, practically jogging as I rounded the corner. I was hoping they weren’t locked up already considering I really needed my bag and I wouldn’t even have my phone or any money if they were.

I walked up to the door, tugging it and thanking the Lord above they hadn’t locked up yet. The gym was empty at this time, almost to the point of creepiness. I glanced at the front desk in search for Drew but she wasn’t there, so I headed back upstairs to the studio.

Jogging up the steps and walking quickly to the door I grabbed the handle, half expecting it to be locked. I could hear music coming from the other side, and I momentarily forgot if I had turned off the system. I shook my head, knowing I did, which meant someone was inside.

The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt but I needed my bag, so I slowly opened the door while trying to stay quiet.

My eyes immediately took in the girls figure, and to my utter surprise it was Drew. The music was soft and slow and I watched her, eyes closed as she swayed to the music. I found myself immediately engulfed in her dancing, her story catching every ounce of attention I had to offer. Watching her dance was magical…

I leaned against the wall, immediately forgetting everything that had gone down Friday as she freestyled to the song playing through the speakers. I knew she had to be coordinated to be a boxer but the way she was moving to the music let me know she was coordinated in dance as well.

She had danced before, and that was something you didn’t lose over time.

I stayed against the wall, completely silent as I watched her tell a story through her body movements. The slow song echoed through my ears as I watched her elegantly move around, completely oblivious to my presence in the room. Even though she was dressed in a polo shirt and loose jeggings she was still flexible, and I watched her body weep as she let the music take over.

Then her eyes opened, taking notice to me as she missed her footing and stood straight up. A part of her looked embarrassed but she honestly had no reason to be, her dancing had completely mesmerized me.

She shook her head, “I uh… how long have you…?”

I felt my heart race at her soft voice, “Not long.”

She paused the music as she placed her hands on her hips, letting me know she had really been working before I had walked up here. She wasn’t sure what to say to me and I realized I had originally come up here to get my bag.

I walked over to it as I nodded, “I was just uh… I forgot my bag,” I picked it up, knowing I should just leave and go home but I couldn’t. Seeing her dance intrigued me because I hadn’t pinned Drew to do such a thing, much less as beautiful as I had just witnessed. I looked at her, “I didn’t know you danced.”

She nodded, looking down at the ground, “Not many people do.”

In the few weeks I had known Drew I felt the closest to her in this very moment. Her and I in this studio, me witnessing her dance like she had been doing it for years and years… I just felt close to her. I had even forgotten the fear she had put into me from the fight, and although I had been ignoring her for almost a week I couldn’t walk away from her.

But she didn’t seem to be up for talking.

I walked up to her, dropping my bag knowing I wasn’t going anywhere soon. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted her to explain, but everything in my body was screaming to just leave.

It was like something had overtaken my body as I started the music back up, walking over to Drew and standing close to her. I was probably confusing the shit out of her, hell even I was confused myself, but I wanted to dance with her.

I asked, “Dance with me?”

Her expression verified that she was in fact confused but wouldn’t deny it. The distance we had both been keeping was unbearable, even for only six days. I was dying to talk to her, to touch her… fuck I was still dying to kiss her.

She embraced me, naturally taking the lead as her arms pulled me into her. I felt the flaming heat engulf every ounce of my being, my eyes looking down at where our bodies were connected. It was like I had forgotten to breathe in that moment as I searched for words to say, an apology of some sort, but nothing was coming out.

I sighed, “This is honestly the last thing I should be doing…”

She rocked against the beat of the slow song, begging, “Please, just let me answer your questions and give me a chance to explain.”

I looked up into her eyes, she looked so tired and worn, and I knew immediately that she needed me to listen. Knowing Drew was a tough fighter was one thing, but in this moment she looked so fragile, and I knew I needed to catch her. We had something, something that was scary and I knew this wasn’t an occasional occurrence for either of us, so maybe hearing her out would be a good thing.

I shook my head, “Why are you involved with this…?”

She looked down at me, probably debating on which approach would be best when it came to opening up about something like this. She shook her head out of stubbornness, “It’s just a really long story…”

I leaned against her, “I have time.”

I could tell she was grateful I was staying to listen but I still had quite a bit of attitude in my voice, letting her know I was still upset over this. If she wanted me to stay she was going to have to explain and make me stay, but I needed to know at least some of the truth. I wanted to be with her and at the same time I didn’t, and it was the most controversial feeling I’ve ever felt. I needed her to settle my mind a bit, give me a reason not to believe that she was just some psycho fighter that liked to annihilate people for fun.

“I got involved a few years ago, I needed money and I was good at fighting. That’s why I’m involved with this, and winning is my only way out, but I’m sure you understand that now.”

I did understand, but that really didn’t lead me to any answers. She got involved with underground fighting because she needed money, but didn’t she have a job? Or was this before the job came along? She had to have trained for this… none of this made sense and I wanted it to so bad.

I pressed, “You’re gonna have to elaborate if you want me to understand, Drew.”

She nodded, her hand pressing harder against the small of my back out of nervousness. My heart was screaming out of fear and excitement while I stared at her, watching her attempt to open up. I could tell opening up about her past wasn’t something she liked but if she wanted me to understand her she was going to have to. She should know I wouldn’t judge even though I had been afraid of her since last Friday, but if she wanted me to be unafraid she needed to be brave right now.

And I was desperately hoping deep down she would open up.

She clenched her jaw and started, “I left home when I was eighteen, moved here just to get away from my hometown. I didn’t have much money but I needed to get away, and when I got here I was practically homeless…”

Ok, maybe we’re getting somewhere…

She continued, “I was struggling, I was in and out of shelters as I tried to find a steady job to hire me but I had never had one before. I had nothing to go off of, and then I ended up on the doorstep of this place. I was twenty years old by then, barely keeping it together whenever I talked to Kevin who gratefully offered me part time, then I met Demarcus.”

I knew she was telling the truth, nothing was fumbling around and everything was coming straight out of her mouth. She had no filter, which was good because I was finally getting to know Drew the way I had been craving all along.

“He was into boxing too, and when we hit it off he started teaching me. I was good, I was quick and coordinated from my years of dancing. We would work out and train for fun, and then when he realized I was homeless and struggling to find a place to stay I moved in with him. That’s when he introduced me to the underground fighting scene.”

I couldn’t help but ask, “Does Demarcus fight too…?”

She shook her head, “No, but he knew about it, and he knew I could make the money I needed to live if I won, so I did. I joined, losing almost every fight up until a point where I thought they were just going to let me go without having to win, then something in me changed. I needed to win, I was starving, I was dying, so I trained harder, I channeled all the aggression and anger and I started winning.”

Watching her talk about this was deep and I could tell she was in her own head now. She was an open book, all of her pages flipping in front of me, and all I had to do was listen. I didn’t want to interrupt her anymore so I let her continue talking.

“The money was great, addicting almost. I was in a dark place when I started winning, I was mean and lethal. I was so depressed that winning was the only thing that mattered to me. Up until recently when I lost a fight against someone a few months ago. It was a bad loss, it set me back months, and suddenly I realized I no longer wanted to continue this fighting thing. I’m worried about my health, but I have to win two more fights before I’m free again Bree.”

I nodded, “Yea, Jada has to do the same thing…”

She looked at me, guilt plastered on her face even though she had no reason. Now that I understood where she was coming from I was no longer mad at her, and I was grateful she had opened up to me.

She shook her head, “It’s a deadly circle, and we’re both stuck in it.”

Suddenly I realized why Drew was so closed off, it was because she was afraid of herself. I didn’t know what she had meant when she had said she had been in a dark place but I understood why she had been. She was depressed, and I didn’t know if she was still damaged like she had revealed but I wanted to know. I wanted to know her story, and a part of me wanted to help mend her if need be.

I asked, “So you can’t get out even if you wanted to.”

“No,” she looked up, “And if I leave I’ll piss off a lot of people. Hell, I just pissed off a ton at the last fight by winning, but I have to win. I have to get the hell out of there.”

The song was finished but we were still holding each other, something keeping us together as if we were meant to be like this. I didn’t want to pull away, at least not at first. I hadn’t felt a connection like this in so long with someone, and ending it just seemed like the worst possible idea.

But Drew pulled away out of habit.

My heart fell as I watched her, she was struggling with the fact that she was involved with something like this and had no escape. I felt horrible for her, but there was literally nothing either of us could do at this point.

She looked at me, “When I saw you Friday, when you were leaving… you looked so… disgusted.”

I could hear the acid in her voice but it wasn’t directed at me, it almost sounded as if she was horrified with herself. I didn’t want to admit that I was in fact disgusted, but she had seen it on my face that night, denying it would only be lying.

I looked down, shaking my head slightly, “I was.”

She was standing closer to the stereo, away from me as if she was afraid to freak me out again. I didn’t want her to feel like that, I didn’t want her to be haunt around me. I wanted her to trust me, because even though the last thing I should do was trust Drew… I did anyway.

I stepped closer to her, “But it’s because I didn’t understand… I didn’t understand why you and Jada…”

She unplugged her phone and faced me, my pulse speeding up just a bit while under her glare. She seemed upset, like really upset, but her being upset towards me didn’t make sense. I had done nothing but witness something I wasn’t mentally prepared for, so she had no right to be mad at me.

She shook her head, “I have problems, Bree, a lot of them. I don’t want to dump them on you, I mean you’ve been broken enough…”

She began walking towards the studio door but I didn’t want her to leave, not like this. I needed her to understand that even though she had her problems it didn’t make her disposable. I grabbed her arm this time, refusing to let her walk away from me.

Her dark eyes took me in, I couldn’t read her expression but it was hard and soft at the same time. She was torn between running away and staying because her devil was telling her she wasn’t enough for me while her angel was begging her not to hurt herself like this again.

I pressed, “You told me I made you feel again, you told me that… and I haven’t felt something like this in a long time, Drew…” I was rambling but I was just trying to make her stay, I was just trying to convince her to let me in. “Why run from it?”

I dropped her arm, hoping she didn’t try to run again. I needed her to open up to me again, and I needed her to see that even though I was afraid of that deadly part of her I was amazed with everything else. I needed her to see that…

“Because I won’t be able to give you everything you need,” she looked down, fidgeting with her hands. “I’m just going to hurt you, Bree, and you don’t deserve that.”

I shook my head, hating that she wasn’t even giving herself the chance to open up. She was trying so hard not to give in to what she was feeling it was almost disgusting. She was hurting herself on purpose, and I knew in this moment that Drew was stubborn just like me. I wanted to take a chance, I wanted to feel something, even if it resulted in heart break.

I needed to feel something again, and I wanted it to be with Drew.

I sighed, coming closer to her, “Drew… who cares? I’m tired of living scared. And I know this might sound stupid but I’m tired of not taking chances on the things that could potentially hurt me.”

I knew Drew wouldn’t physically hurt me, she was just dangerous in the ring where she had to be. Now that’s not me saying she couldn’t emotionally hurt me because if she wanted to she totally could…

But even after everything… I trusted her, but I knew she didn’t trust herself, and that was the problem.

I stepped even closer, practically closing the gap between us. I was required to fill the silence because Drew wasn’t even talking anymore, which left it all up to me. I pressed, “You mean something to me, and I’m giving you the chance to hurt me but trusting you won’t. Just try again, Drew.”

Her eyes were fixated on me, as if I was the only thing she could see in this moment. I could tell she was afraid, hell I was too, but I didn’t care. I was tired of being alone, and I could tell she was too, and we had the chance right here in our hands. All we had to do was take it, all we had to do was try, and I wasn’t letting fear influence my decisions anymore.

It was like a light switch turned on, her hands traveling up my arms and cupping my face. I was caught off guard but in the same instance I wasn’t, almost as if I had expected her to kiss me. I was confused when our lips met but as soon as they did my entire body was on fire. For a split second I thought my body had entered Hell because I was that hot, but it this couldn’t be Hell, this had to be some sort of Heaven. The intensity I felt between us was there, intimidating me and driving me into Drew.

My mind was blank, everything about this moment overtaking me as I pulled Drew into me. I hadn’t expected myself to get lost in the first kiss we shared but I was. I was completely engulfed in Drew’s presence, not even aware of what the rest of my body was doing. All I could focus on were her soft lips that were dominating mine, which was something I had expected all along.

Breathing became difficult as I felt my back pressed against the wall of the studio, Drew gently running one of her hands along my neck. I had never noticed the tension between us up until now but I realized there was a lot, it was almost threatening. I felt as if I was crumbling under her, and if she let me go I was fall apart. I was the avalanche toppling down the mountain, and I was crashing right into Drew.

Her smell was intoxicating, the familiar scent of shampoo, except now I understood what she tasted like too. It was sweet, as if she had eaten fruit not long ago and then had popped a mint in afterwards. All of my senses were taking her in, her taste, her smell, her touch… and after almost a month of restraining myself here we were.

Then I got too carried away, my teeth involuntarily biting down on her bottom lip.

Oh God Bree, you just had to…

She pulled away then, realizing where this was headed as I shook my head out of embarrassment, “Oh my God, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be sorry,” she smiled, shaking her head, “It was just… sudden.”

I felt so out of breath, my chest rising and falling along with hers. The kiss had been so sudden but it had been so intense at the same time, and I remembered every single second of it. I stayed resting against the wall for support, afraid that if I moved too soon my legs would turn to jell-o.

She noticed I wasn’t up for talking as she smirked slightly, “Ready to go home?”

I honestly just wanted to stay with her tonight but that would’ve been inappropriate, but naturally my mouth spoke before I could think, “Not really.”

I watched a wide smile spread on her pink lips, leaning on the doorframe, “Tell you what… why don’t you come over tomorrow night and we can have that movie night you mentioned last week?”

I just looked at her, wondering if that would be a good idea. Me going to Drew’s house? It honestly sounded so intriguing that it made me excited just thinking about it…

What was there to lose?

I nodded, “Should I bring the wine?”

She smirked, “Bring whatever you want.”

We were close again, her eyes taking me in and suddenly I remembered the way her lips felt against mine. I wanted her again, I wanted to kiss her again but I understood the situation didn’t call for that.

Calm down Bree…

Drew must’ve noticed the tension as she nodded, “It’s a date then,” and then she revealed her set of keys to lock up the gym.

I grabbed my bag as I allowed Drew time to lock up the studio and then the gym’s front doors. We quickly made our way outside to her bike as my body continued to tingle from the encounter. I could barely even think straight right now.  I knew that kiss was going to haunt me in my dreams, and I was already dying to kiss her again.

We made it to her bike as she turned to look at me, “I kind of didn’t bring your helmet, figured you would’ve still been upset.”

I smiled forcefully, regretting the moment I had shunned Drew for doing what she did. Now I understood her, and I didn’t blame her. I shrugged, “Don’t worry, I forgive you.”

She smiled, handing me hers, “But you’ll just get mine.”

I took it, slipping it over my head, “So polite.”

She laughed as we climbed onto her bike, allowing her to kick it to life with me on the back. My arms tightened around her, allowing me to realize how much I had missed this feeling. She was a sort of comfort I couldn’t find in anything else, and a part of me wished it wasn’t with her but it was. My mind understood that Drew was dangerous… but so were planes, so were the people on New York’s streets, and even the air we breathed.

Simply living was dangerous, but it didn’t stop us, did it?

Soon enough we were at the front of my complex, allowing me to leave Drew for the night even though I didn’t want to. I turned to her, smiling, “See you tomorrow.”

She took out her phone, texting something quickly and then I felt my phone vibrate in my bag. I looked at my phone, seeing her address she had sent in a text to me. She nodded, “Just let me know when you’re on your way.”

I nodded, slipping my phone back into my bag, “I will.”

“Good night Bree.”

The familiar sense of blushing returned as I nodded, “Good night Drew.”

Then I turned, wishing I didn’t have to wait an entire twenty-four hours before seeing Drew again.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Oh I love this,” I heard Maria swoon as she looked at herself in the full-body mirror. I turned, seeing her dressed in her costume I had personally designed, loving the way it looked. It could use a little resizing but nothing we couldn’t fix.

I smiled, “We’re gonna tighten it around your torso so it’ll fit better, don’t worry.”

One of the design students took notes on Maria’s Freakshow costume and directed the next person onto the pedestal. We were currently sizing everyone since all the costumes were now finished and ready to be tried on. Everything seemed to be coming along nicely, which only made me anxious for something to go wrong.

Maria proceeded to the tiny dressing room to take off her ballerina puppet costume while Jeremy stepped up next. He of course was the puppet master, and his costume wasn’t nearly as intricate as Maria’s. The attire only consisted of a vest, a white button down and a bow-tie. He would of course have his make-up on the day of the dance but everything on him looked fine.

I asked, “Do you like it?”

He turned in the mirror and smirked, “I do. These pants make my butt look great.”

I laughed, “Agreed.”

He hopped off of the stand and smiled, “I’m free to go?”

I nodded, “Yea, just don’t forget to change and put the costume back on the rack.”

He nodded himself off, allowing Jordi to step up and look at me through the mirror. His costume consisted of little to nothing considering he was only wearing something that resembled the stereotypical “Strong Man” costume. His chest was visible along with his back muscles. His fit, luckily, and it wasn’t too tight or too loose, which would save us a lot of time to work on the ones that hadn’t turned out so great.

I couldn’t help but look a little longer than usual, knowing that even though I was interested in Drew I recognized a nice body when I saw one.

“Easy there Bree,” I heard his voice call out, “Don’t get too carried away.”

I rolled my eyes, smiling at his playfulness, “You wish, Jordi.”

He stepped off of the stage as the design student finished up on Jordi’s notes, allowing him to approach me. He addressed, “Still don’t want to go on a date?”

I shook my head, “Nope, I’m not interested in a relationship.”

Liar…

“It doesn’t have to be.”

I rolled my eyes once more, “Or meaningless sex. Good bye Jordi.”

He shrugged away, leaving only one more dancer to approach the stage for us to take our notes. I was ready for this day to be over with but I still had three more classes to suffer through. Honestly I was just ready to see Drew, and the anticipation of tonight was killing me.

I had agreed to go to her house, watch movies and drink wine. Was that a good idea or a recipe for a complete disaster? I mean, was it taking things a bit too far? I mean we were just hanging out… right?

Stop overthinking Breanna, I heard my thoughts interrupt my anxiousness. There was no need to be nervous, except for the fact that I would be alone with Drew after our very heated kiss last night…

Okay maybe this did require a little more overthinking…

No. Stop freaking out. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. This was your idea, it’s just a few movies and some wine. You could get to know Drew more than you did and that was something I wanted right?

Of course it was, I had been dying to get through her walls for weeks now, and this was another chance to do so. She had opened up last night, and I had listened willingly, and I had felt closer to her now than I had before. I was no longer afraid, even though I should be, and that was a good thing, right?

Packing my bag I quickly readied myself to head to my next class, which would thankfully be my choreography class. Most of my “classes” consisted of dancing and production for the recitals, which I was grateful for. I only had two business classes this semester and they were so easy I barely had to do anything besides worry about the recitals.

I walked quickly into the open class that held seats and a stage for performing. This is where we assembled most of the choreography for the dances, including the two me and my group were performing. All the people in this room had eyes for performing, they had the ability to see potential in a group of people and how they should move around each other. This was probably my favorite class simply because it allowed us to dance if we pleased.

Considering I had both of my dances mapped out I usually just helped everyone else, which was something I didn’t mind doing. It helped the class pass a little faster, and I enjoyed it anyway. This hour passed faster than the rest, and after this class I would head to my Production class. We would discuss everything but dancing, such as lights, music, dance organizations and all the stuff people generally put on the backburner.

This day honestly couldn’t pass any slower.

Then I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, seeing Drew’s name flashing on the front. I opened the text and read to myself, “So are you feeling comedies, horror films, or romance tonight?”

I smiled at my phone like an idiot, loving the way she had remembered and was actually taking initiative. I hadn’t even thought about the movies we were actually going to watch, and it was a good thing she was.

I responded, “Definitely comedies.”

I continued going through the motions in class after, finding myself looking at my phone impatiently for a response. Usually I didn’t have a problem leaving my phone alone but naturally with Drew it was different. She made me anticipate her, crave her attention, and she was managing to drive me insane and she didn’t even know.

I decided to not check my phone until Choreography class ended, figuring I didn’t want to be rude to the other dancers. I finally checked it on my way to my Production class, excited to see that she had texted me again.

“Leave the movies up to me. How’s school?”

I could feel the redness in my cheeks as I made my way towards my second to last class, wishing time travel was available. I wanted to be with her right now, and like always I just hated waiting. I was impatient when it came to doing things I genuinely enjoyed, and the eagerness for tonight was at an all-time high.

I proceeded to tell her how bored I was and how excited I was for tonight. I wanted her to know I enjoyed spending time with her, and I wanted her to understand that someone liked her attention. I wanted her to be willing to give me a chance just like I was with her, and that involved me opening up and being honest.

Usually I was closed off, courtesy of my heartless ex-girlfriend, but everything had changed when I had met Drew. She was different, and she had provoked feelings inside me that I thought had been dead for a long time. She resurfaced so much that I seemed to have forgotten, and it was scary and exhilarating all in the same sense.

I met up with Maria inside the classroom, seeing her typing away on her laptop as I approached her. We hadn’t had a chance to talk about Drew but I knew it was inevitable now, and as soon as she looked up at me her mouth opened.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on between you and Drew or what?”

I sat in the desk next to her, knowing I should just be honest but it was hard. Being honest meant revealing Drew’s secret career, something I knew Maria wouldn’t like hearing about. But she was my bestfriend, someone that knew literally everything about me…

I answered, “We uh, we actually have a movie date tonight.”

Maria just looked at me, as if she couldn’t believe I was skipping over the fight she had clearly seen one night after rehearsal. She shook her head, “Well, seems like you two made up really quick…”

She continued to type on her computer, the annoyance clear as I took in a deep breath. I knew she was upset, but could I reveal Drew’s truth? I knew Maria would take it hard, and she wouldn’t like hearing it…

“Maria I can’t tell you, but I can promise you it’s nothing serious…”

Lie.

“Seriously, you can’t tell me? Is she a drug dealer or something?”

I ran my hand through my hair, wishing I didn’t have to leave out big details but it wasn’t my place to tell. I couldn’t do that to Drew, “No, it’s just not my place to tell you…”

Although I knew Maria was a bit nosy I knew she cared about me, which was what this was ultimately boiling down to. I knew she would be worrying for nothing if I did so happen to tell her the truth, and it would cause unnecessary stress on her part.

Her big brown eyes found me, “Is it personal…”

I nodded, “Yes, and I can’t do that to her…”

I didn’t know what Maria was conjuring up in her head but she seemed to have a change of heart. Maybe she thought it had to do with family, or something her and I had disagreed about, but she no longer pried. I was grateful because I honestly hated lying, but she seemed to back off out of reason.

She nodded, “Just promise you won’t put yourself in danger.”

I shoved her playfully, “I promise, but it’s nothing like that, okay?”

She closed her laptop and looked at me, “So a movie date, huh?”

I laughed, “Yes, it’s at her place, actually.”

“You’re kidding.”

I shook my head, “Is that too much or…?”

Maria’s smile was so wide I thought it was going to come off of her face, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. She grabbed my arm out of excitement, “Are you planning on…?”

“No!” I countered, almost loud enough to embarrass myself, which was something that was inevitable with Maria. Although thinking about having sex with Drew was an image that managed to turn me inside out, and the blushing probably gave that away. “It’s just some wine and funny movies… Why do you think I’m trying to sleep with her so fast…?”

Maria looked at me with an expression that made me uneasy, “Breanna, Drew’s literally everything you’re attracted to and you know it.”

I looked down at my hands, smiling involuntarily at the thought, “Yea I know but…”

“She’s tall, she’s mysterious, you were always the one to love a challenge… not to mention her amazing body. I mean she has a great ass, and those eyes… oh my God even I’m a little attracted to her.”

I laughed at Maria’s ramble, knowing she was absolutely right. I could’ve named a lot more though, like the way her eyes sucked me in, and the way her lips moved when she spoke to me. Her skin reminded me of a porcelain doll, the smooth curve of her neck and the sweet smell of fruit and mint…

Maria intruded, “You’re getting carried away.”

I snapped out of my thoughts, “You’re right, I’m so attracted to her it’s almost scary…”

“Yea, and the tension is obviously there.”

“We kissed last night.”

Maria’s eyes widened even more, and I could tell shit was going to hit the fan. I had been dying to talk about it with someone but maybe bringing it up here in Production class wasn’t the best idea.

She grabbed my arm again, “You kissed her?!”

I covered her mouth, “Ssh, Jesus, Maria.”

She squealed in excitement, “What was it like? Oh my God why am I so excited?”

I shoved her, “I don’t know but its weirding me out, and she kissed me. It was pretty… intense.”

One of Maria’s brows perked up, as if she had been caught off guard. She leaned towards me, “Explain… intense.”

I laughed, “I don’t know how to explain it but… I haven’t felt something like that in a long time. Not since Ashley, and it might’ve been even more intense… I don’t know, but it was amazing.”

I could see myself getting carried away just thinking about kissing Drew, and the memories of last night were slowly clouding my brain. It got hard to think clearly when I thought about her, and I could literally feel her lips on mine. The electric sensation running through my veins whenever she touched me, the way her mouth had tasted… I remembered every detail and I knew that was dangerous.

But God it had felt so right.

“So are you two gonna gossip the entire time or…?”

I looked up, seeing a few of my colleagues looking at me and Maria, knowing they were right. This was technically class time, not gossip time, so I pulled Maria from her desk and towards the rest of the crowd.

Maria whispered next to me, “You have to tell me what goes on tonight.”

I shoved her slightly, “You know I will.”

We merged with the group, seeing them brainstorming on the set designs for the separate dances. I had no interest in this right now, but I figured this was what I was supposed to be focusing on. I could act like I was interested, I wasn’t a half bad actress if I said so myself.

I turned to Maria, “Anyways, how have you and Demarcus been?”

Maria looked at me and rolled her eyes but smirked, “He’s frustrating, but he’s so sweet. Hot and cold I guess, but we’re getting somewhere.”

I laughed, “What, you can’t handle your own medicine?”

She shoved me lightly, laughing at how she and Demarcus were similar in their own ways. If Demarcus was hot and cold Maria was day and night, frustration between the two was bound to happen. She protested, “I can, but he’s just different… But Bree he’s such a good kisser, oh and no I haven’t given it up to him yet.”

I nodded, “Good girl.”

“But I want to.”

I pinched her, causing her to yelp, “What the hell?”

I laughed but attempted to sound serious, “You’ve known him a month, Maria… but who am I to say no.”

“Right, coming from the one that’s going have a movie night at Drew’s.”

I gave her an innocent look, “That’s exactly what it is, Maria. A movie night.”

“Mhhm.”

I rolled my eyes as I tried to tune into whatever was going on with our assignments. I wasn’t giving into Drew on that level yet, I knew that much. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to, almost desperately, but it was too soon. If I gave in too soon I would grow an attachment that if severed, would destroy me… especially if Drew was good in bed.

Oh God, Breanna you shouldn’t be thinking about this right now…

But I was, and I realized I was actually worried that it had a possibility of happening tonight.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, knowing I shouldn’t be worried. Drew and I were attempting to take things slow because it had obviously been awhile for the both of us, there was no need to rush. Whatever happened tonight happened, and I knew why I had such desire to go over.

I just wanted to get to know her better, I wanted her to open up, and I absolutely loved getting attention from her. When I was in her presence everything was okay, and I was so glad that she had settled some of my nerves about the whole fighting thing. She made me forget the pain in my heart, she filled the hole Ashley had left, and it was like I turned into a completely different person when I was with her.

That was a good thing, right?

“Hey Breanna, yea snap out of it, I need your help.”

I looked up at Maria, seeing a wide smirk plastered on her lips. I rolled my eyes, “Stop looking at me like that.”

“What were you thinking about?”

I looked away, shrugging, “Nothing.”

“You were thinking about tonight.”

I continued to keep looking away, “Maybe.”

“Good luck with all those feelings.”

I smiled, laughing to myself, “I’m gonna need it.”