In Good Company: Chapter 51

“How’s your dad doing today?” Charlotte asks, unable to hold still and almost making me nauseous with how much she moves her phone while we’re FaceTiming.

I give her a smile as I sit back in the old office chair in the back room of my family’s store. It’s getting late in the evening, but I still have so much to do before I can go home for the night.

“Dad’s doing good. Still grumpy that we’re not letting him work, but we haven’t had any mishaps since he got back from the hospital.”

Charlotte nods.

“I know where you get your stubbornness from,” Charlotte quips. “I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting your dad in person yet, but it’s obvious that you’re set in your ways just like he is.”

Through FaceTime, she and my father have struck up a friendship. I’ve never heard my dad belly laugh, but that all changed the other day when Charlotte and I were video chatting. She was catching me up on what was going on in her life—leaving out details about Cal—when she made some kind of joke that my dad overheard. After that, he’s asked every day when I was going to talk to my funny friend. He’ll be upset I talked to her tonight without him being able to say hi.

“Hi, Luce!” Jude calls, his face appearing on the screen next to Charlotte.

I smile, feeling sad that I’m not there with them. Jude and Charlotte seem to be spending a lot of time together recently, and I miss them both terribly. I didn’t expect them to become close friends, and I’m a little jealous that Jude’s getting to spend so much time with Charlotte. I miss my best friend.

“Jude,” I call, giving him a wave. “What are you doing with Charlotte?”

“Annoying me like always,” Charlotte pipes up, rolling her eyes as Jude grabs at his chest dramatically.

“Not surprising,” I respond, trying to keep a smile on my face despite the sadness washing over me. I’m glad I’m here with my parents. I need to know they’re taken care of and things are running smoothly. My place is here, but it doesn’t mean I don’t miss the life I had in the Hamptons. I hadn’t realized how happy I was there until it was taken from me.

“So, how’s the store going? Are you getting the hang of things?”

I groan, thinking of the mess I made today. “No.” I let out a pathetic laugh as I push away all my intrusive thoughts about how I’m not cut out for this. “I’m terrible at selling things, Char. I almost messed up three sales today. We would’ve lost them if it wasn’t for Alec coming in to save the day.”

Charlotte purses her lips as her eyes soften. I love that even through the phone screen, I can read every single one of her emotions. “You’re still figuring it out,” she begins, keeping her voice reassuring. “You’ll learn the ropes.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know, Char. I’m trying, but I just suck. I was tasked with ordering some pieces from a new distributor, and I kept messing up the count. I keep track of supply numbers all the time when preparing meals for parties of people. I don’t know why I suck at it when it comes to furniture.”

“You’re learning a lot at once. I promise you’ll get better at it.” Charlotte holds the phone closer to her face and gives me a comforting smile. “Love you, Lucy. Take a deep breath. You’re doing the best you can.”

My eyes sting with the threat of looming tears. “I really needed to hear that,” I respond, talking through the lump in my throat.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask about Cal. I want to know how he’s doing. Has he already moved on from me? Does he talk about me? Is he doing okay?

The questions are at the forefront of my mind, but I keep them to myself. Today’s already been a long, hard day. I don’t know if I’m ready for the answers to those questions.

“We miss you here,” Jude says, grabbing the phone from Charlotte and saving me from asking things I shouldn’t.

“Hey, that’s my best friend, not yours!” Charlotte scolds. I can see her try to grab the phone in the background, but Jude holds it out of her reach.

“It’s my turn to talk to Luce,” he declares, using his free hand to keep Charlotte from grabbing the phone.

“I miss you guys too,” I respond with a smile. Even Jude became someone I grew attached to, something I hadn’t realized until I was back here in Virginia.

“When are you coming back?” Jude presses, not paying any attention to Charlotte’s protests about giving her the phone back.

I let out a sad sigh. Most of my belongings are still in the Hamptons. I need to figure out if I should just hire movers to pack it all up or if I can make it down there for a couple of days just to get everything packed up and sorted out.

“I don’t know if I’ll be coming back,” I answer honestly. “I’m still trying to get things running smoothly without my dad here at the store. And then I don’t know if I can leave my mom to handle things on her own.”

Jude nods, giving me his normal grin. “You just let me know how to help. I want to be there for you, Luce. We all do.”

Emotion overtakes me again. Now that I’m away, it’s obvious how I’d built my own little family there. Charlotte, Jude, Mr. Fred, Dolores, Margo, Winnie, Emma, Camille…and most importantly, Cal. I don’t know when it happened, but all of them became my second family.

And I miss them like crazy.

But I can’t do anything about it because my own family needs me here.

“He misses you, you know,” Jude chimes in, keeping his voice soft.

“Jude!” Charlotte yells from out of view of the phone screen.

He looks at her with wide eyes. “What?” he asks innocently. “It’s true. I have to talk him into getting out of bed most mornings. He’s lost without Lucy, and I think Lucy should know that.”

“Give me my phone,” Charlotte demands. Her hand appears in view as she tries to wrestle the phone from his grip.

Their words fade away as I focus on what Jude said. The guilt flooding me is overwhelming.

He can’t get out of bed?

Tears prick my eyes at the image of him being so heartbroken he can’t even get up in the morning. I never wanted to cause him pain. He’s the last person in this world I wanted to hurt, and I still did.

A tear runs down my cheek. I try to wipe it away before either of them can see it, but Charlotte wrestles the phone back from Jude just in time to see me do it.

“I’m so sorry,” she gets out, a little out of breath. Her shoulders rise and fall quickly from the effort it took to get the phone back from Jude.

He gently pushes her to the side, allowing his face to be in view as well. Charlotte shoots a dirty look in his direction, but she doesn’t push him out of frame.

“Fuck, Luce, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Jude says, his features softening as I wipe underneath my eyes again.

I shake my head, trying to regain my composure. It’s my responsibility to close up the store tonight, but I wouldn’t be shocked if Alec randomly dropped by to make sure I’m doing it right. He seems to be checking on me a lot since I’ve tried taking things over. I can’t say I blame him.

“It’s fine, I promise,” I try to assure him. I don’t miss the way my voice shakes. Knowing he’s still not doing well two weeks after me leaving is taking its toll. My resolve to do the right thing and leave him alone is slowly getting chipped away.

All that’s left is the intense way that I miss him and the desperate desire to hear his voice.

“You know…if you called, he’d answer,” Jude prods. He keeps his voice soft but doesn’t back down when Charlotte aims another dirty look in his direction.

“Would he?” I counter. I don’t know if I’d blame him if he didn’t want to talk to me. He opened up to me and confessed his feelings, and instead of me being honest and telling him I’m in love with him, I called him a distraction.

I’ll never forget the anguish etched into his features. I don’t know if I can repair the damage I did. Especially since I still don’t know if we could ever make it work. At least right now. Not with me having to take care of things here.

“Luce,” Jude begins, pulling me from my thoughts. “I’ve known Cal almost my entire life. The only thing I’ve ever seen him really love was his job—until you. The moment he hired you, he changed. He loves you. And he’s my best friend, so I’m allowed to say this, but he isn’t built to love a lot of things. But when he does, he loves hard. I don’t think there’s anything you could do or say that he wouldn’t forgive you for. Call him. Tell him you love him—because I know you do—and then together, you can figure out the rest.”

Charlotte wipes at her eyes a little, looking at Jude with a shocked expression. “When did you become so sweet?”

Her comment makes me laugh. I mimic her, wiping at my falling tears thanks to what Jude said.

“I know I hurt him,” I explain to Jude, my words coming out shaky. I’m sure I seem like a complete mess right now. I can’t stop the tears from falling, and I’m not even trying to hide them at this point.

“I can guarantee you that not speaking to him is hurting him more than any words you have said or could say to him,” Jude points out.

I let out a shaky sigh, realizing he might be right. I thought I was doing the right thing by ending things with Cal. We have two very different lives, and instead of figuring out with him how we could make things work, I pushed him away. I didn’t think it was possible to juggle a relationship with him and my responsibilities here in Virginia.

In the two weeks since I last saw him, I’ve learned I don’t know if it’s possible to move on with my life without him.

I’m so in love with him that I miss him to my core. I thought loving him would be a distraction, but the more I think about it, maybe the real distraction is missing him.

If I had him to talk to at the end of the day and allowed him to be there for me, I think I’d be in a much better headspace to handle things here at home.

“I love him,” I blurt, sitting straight up in my chair. It’s so old it creaks because of the sudden movement.

Jude fist pumps in the air, letting out a long whistle. “Yes, Luce, you do. Now, hang up the damn phone and call him.”

“Call him!” Charlotte interjects before she excitedly gives Jude a high five.

My heart hammers in my chest. It feels like my stomach has fallen to my feet at the prospect of talking to him again.

“I’m nervous,” I confess, my words coming out hurried. “What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”

Jude lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, he wants to talk to you. Call him. Now.”

I look at both Jude and Charlotte on my screen, a wave of love and appreciation taking over me for both of them. “Okay, I’m going to call him. Thank you both for the little push.”

“Stop stalling,” Charlotte remarks with a raised blonde eyebrow.

Jude nods in agreement. “Goodbye, Luce.”

He hangs up the phone before I can respond.

For a few moments, I stare at the blank screen, wondering if I should really call Cal. Jude made it seem like Cal wants to talk to me, but what if he’s wrong? He wasn’t there. He didn’t see the light leave Cal’s eyes the way I did.

I feel nauseous. I close my eyes for a moment and let out a loud groan. For a few fleeting seconds, I felt brave about calling Cal thanks to Jude and Charlotte.

Now, I feel like I could throw up. I want to talk to him so badly, and I’m terrified he’ll ignore my call.

I wouldn’t blame him if he sent me straight to voicemail.

“Call him,” I whisper to myself as I try to hype myself up for it. I open up my contacts and scroll to his name.

I stare at his information so long his name goes blurry with unshed tears. I take a deep breath before clicking his name. I do it quickly, not allowing for time to psych myself out of it.

My hand trembles as I press my phone to my ear.

Hope blossoms in my chest with the first ring. As soon as he answers, I’m just going to tell him I love him. There are so many things I know I need to say to him—one of them being an apology—but the first thing will be that I’m madly in love with him.

It rings again.

I let out a slow breath, trying to keep my breathing even. He’s a busy man. It’s normal for him to not answer right away.

Another ring.

Please just answer, Cal.

I know he can’t hear me, but now that I’m so close to being able to profess my love to him, I don’t want to waste another second.

I’m about to panic that he’s not going to answer my call when the phone stops ringing.

I suck in a breath of air, waiting for him to say something.

He doesn’t.

Before I can lose my confidence, I blurt out the words I should’ve said two weeks ago.

“Cal, I love you,” I begin, my words coming out so fast it probably sounds like one long word instead of a coherent sentence. “I love you so much, and I’m sorr⁠—”

“You’ve reached Callahan Hastings from Hastings Incorporated. Leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

There’s a beep, but I barely hear it over the thrum of my pulse in my ears.

Hoping it’s maybe a mistake, I press his name again to call back.

This time, he’ll answer.

If he sees me calling twice, he’ll understand how badly I need to talk to him.

He told me to call him anytime.

He’ll answer.

He doesn’t.

This time, it goes straight to voicemail.

My phone drops to my lap as the realization sets in.

It’s too late.

He doesn’t want to talk to me. I know his phone is always on him. He’s on it frequently. He doesn’t miss calls.

He just doesn’t want to talk to me, and I can’t even be mad at him for it.

A sob rips through me as I accept the fact that I’ve lost him. And I can’t blame anyone but myself for it.