Nine

Isaac walked out of the football locker room and he felt lighter. He smiled as he climbed in his car and didn't care that it was probably a wide, giddy smile. He'd smile all he wanted to.

He drove down the road, keeling an eye out for the turn he'd have to make on Ash Street. He didn't remember which house it was and didn't have the address but he could remember the door. The memory of Jess sitting in the passenger seat before and giving him directions was plain as day. 'The house with the horribly painted blue door.'

He found the house easily after turning down the street. The bright blue stuck out in comparison to the other plain doors. He pulled up to the curb and stopped there. Now what?

Did he go up and knock? Or should he wait here for Jess? Did he text him? He only had him on Instagram but that could work.

He sat indecisive for a moment before the door opening caught his attention. Jess looked pissed and was saying something, probably decently loudly but Zack couldn't hear what. He slammed the door behind him and walked up to the car. When he got in he shut the door and hunkered down in the seat, grabbing his hair in his hands and taking deep breaths.

Zack sat frozen in the driver's seat, unsure what to do. Did he say something? He couldn't hug him, not in a car while he was all hunkered down like that. What could he do? Just as he opened his mouth Jess's voice stopped him.

"Don't." The boy sounded like he might start hyperventilating. "Just- please don't ask."

Isaac still didn't know what to do but he didn't ask. He wasn't even sure if it was are you okay or what happened that he was going to ask but he made sure to keep both questions shut down now. It was none of his business and Jess clearly didn't want to talk about it.

His breathing was labored but it was obvious the boy was trying hard to control it. Shit, what did he do? He felt helpless, he needed to do something.

His hand went down and he touched the back of Jess's neck. He wasn't sure why but that's just what happened. He wanted to let Jess know that he was there. "Can you breath okay? Do you need water?"

Jess slowly uncurled himself, Isaac's hand still softly on his neck. He looked at the boy who looked concerned.

That was it? No questions about it?

Isaac's heart dropped at Jess's face. It was red in places and his eyes were filled with unspilled tears. He reached over and with his other hand opened up the glove compartment. He had a couple napkins in there and he pulled one out.

He then looked into the backseat and his hand that wasn't holding the napkin moved to reach for something. Jess's neck immediately missed it and the extra warmth it brought to his skin. Zack grabbed the water bottle from the back and unscrewed the lid.

He put the top of the bottle against the napkin and turned it upside down, keeping the water to just the napkin and not letting it spill. He then screwed the lid back on and set the bottle in the cup holder. Having a damp napkin, he held it up to Jess. "Do you mind if I..?"

He trailed off but Jess nodded in a slightly stiff way. He was more focused on the fact that Isaac was helping him than on what exactly he was doing. He had expected questions, overstepping boundaries, and the boy either being weirded out or a nervous wreck. However, he seemed oddly calm as he focused on Jess.

Zack's hand went back to cup the back of Jess's neck, lighting the skin with warmth again, and his other hand held the napkin. He dabbed and rubbed under Jess's eyes with the cool material. Then he dabbed some on his forehead and cheeks as well. After it all Jess's face felt cooled down, better than being set ablaze and hot like it had been before.

He himself felt in a daze as Zack removed his hand and wadded up the used napkin to throw it away. He offered the water bottle from before to Jess and the boy took it, taking a drink immediately.

"Any better?" His voice was soft, extremely so. Jess just nodded a little and that didn't do much to help his concern. "There anywhere you wanna go? Someplace I should take you?"

Zack didn't think that Jess would want to go back in his house, not after he walked away like that. However, he also wasn't gonna assume that Jess would want to hangout after that. He was prepared to just drop him off at someone's house and let him cool down. They could hangout some other day.

Jess leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. He was quiet for a minute and Zack just watched him with worried eyes. When he finally spoke his voice sounded better than the grave way he had sounded before. "Anywhere. I just need to focus on something else for now, but please nowhere with lots of people. I'm not sure I could handle it."

Isaac nodded even though the boy couldn't see him and put the car in drive again. He didn't know where he was going yet, but he'd figure it out. Jess's hand rested nimbly on the center console and Zack didn't think about it.

He was focusing, still, on ways of calming a person down. He wasn't thinking. His hand slipped into Jess's and he threaded his fingers with the other boy's.

Jess's eyes opened and he looked over. He didn't pull his hand away though. Isaac just kept his eyes on the road.

"When I was younger I used to get panic attacks real bad. When I would feel one coming on my dad always held my hand to stop it. Kind of as a way to keep me grounded I guess." Although when Jess didn't say anything and instead just kept looking at him, Zack started losing confidence. He just barely started to retract his hand when Jess suddenly reciprocated his grip and pale fingers grabbed onto Zack's hand.

When Isaac looked back up Jess's eyes were closed again but his fingers had a death grip on Zack's hand. Zack didn't say anything, he was just glad he hadn't creeped the boy out. He hadn't thought about how this might be weird for someone who didn't know him all that well, but luckily it seemed to turn out okay.

He went down the roads, unsure of a destination but trying to think of one. He ended up not being able to think of a good one that was public. He wasn't sure how Jess would feel about that though.

"You want quiet, right?" Jess looked over with hooded eyes. "We could go to my house. If you're comfortable with that. It's mostly empty of people this time of day."

Jess nodded stiffly. "Okay." Then slowly he gave Isaac a smile. "You just better hope I'm not some serial killer who's using this all as a way to find your address so I can kill you."

Zack chuckled and his hand squeezed the smaller one in his. Jess felt his chest swell up a little. He had calmed down a lot by now, holding Isaac's hand definitely helped.

A few moments later they were pulling up to Zack's house and parking. Zack didn't retract his hand as he turned off the car, using his other one instead by turning it at a weird angle. Jess's eyes were still closed and the boy almost looked like he was sleeping. Isaac would've believed it too if it weren't for the very strong grip he still had on his hand.

"We're here." Zack's voice made Jess's eyes open and he took in the house in front of them. He stayed seated and moved his gaze over to Zack.

They locked eyes and both just sat quietly for a moment. Jess was the first one to break it. "Thank you."

He then let go of Zack's hand, both of them missing the feeling as soon as it had gone, and opened the car door. Isaac got out too and the pair walked up to the front door. Jess waited patiently as Zack unlocked the house and then they both went in.

Zack walked in, slipping off his shoes, and sat on the leather couch. Jess followed his example. "My room's kinda small, so I hope hanging out in here is alright."

Jess nodded in reply. "That's fine."

"Wanna watch TV?" Zack picked up the remote and clicked on the screen when Jess nodded. They flipped through things and either agreed not to watch something or one of them would say maybe while the other said it wasn't really their thing. Eventually they did find a film and let it play.

Although, Jess fell asleep with his head leaned back against the couch only ten minutes in. Zack smiled and reached over, he stood up and moved Jess down so he was laying more comfortably.

He also pulled a little throw blanket over him. Then he went to the kitchen to grab himself a drink. He came back and sat the water down, then looked around at the minimal seating. He ended up just moving Jess's legs and sitting at the end of the couch. Jess ended up stretching out and rolling over at some point so his face was directed at the back of the couch now and his legs ended up on Zack's lap.

Isaac didn't do anything about it though. He was too scared of waking Jess up and the guy seriously looked like he needed sleep.

An hour passed by before Jess woke up. His eyes opened and he rolled over to look at the TV. A show played in the background and his eyes moved over to his legs. He pulled them out of Zack's lap as soon as he realized where they were and sat up.

"How long was I out?" He sleepily rubbed at his eyes and Zack had to smile at the action.

"Dunno, probably about an hour." Zack pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Yeah I'd say an hour."

The device got laid on the coffee table in front of them and then Isaac turned his attention back on Jess. The boy yawned cutely and the older smiled at him.

"Did you sleep good?"

"Yeah actually." Something dawned on him then. "Oh, sorry. This must be a lame way of hanging out."

Zack laughed and shook his head. "No, it's alright."

They were quiet for awhile, watching the TV or gazing at each other. Zack was actually embarrassed with how many times he had caught himself focusing on Jess rather than the TV. Even more embarrassed at how many times Jess had caught him.

"Ah, dude, c'mon. He didn't even get the good ones." Jess said with a bit of an exaggerated dramatic tone. Zack had to look at the TV to see what he was talking about because he had once again not been paying attention. A character was buying doughnuts. That caused Isaac to chuckle and look back at Jess.

"What're the good ones?"

"The glazed, duh." Isaac just started chuckling. That seemed to rile Jess up. "Well they are! Which ones do you think are the best?"

"I like the ones with the caramel frosting."

"Oh." Jess seemed to lose his fire, no longer ready to argue. "Those ones are good. They're still not as good as the glazed ones."

Zack gave him an amused look. "Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla isn't it?"

Jess turned a little red. The way Zack had said it made it seem like an insult. "What's that gotta do with anything?!"

Zack just burst out laughing and soon enough Jess was joining him, the two of them wheezing on the couch together. Finally, Isaac managed to get himself together first and Jess followed soon after.

"If you think Vanilla isn't the best than which one is?" Jess asked but this time in a softer voice, they were no longer play-arguing but rather genuinely asking.

"I'll eat any of them, they're all good."

"You gotta have a favorite though." Jess said, pressing a little more. Zack shrugged.

"I eat whatever someone will buy me. Strawberry isn't the best but it doesn't taste bad, vanilla is fine." He looked to be thinking. "I guess I get chocolate the most but I wouldn't call it my favorite."

"Okay weirdo." Jess rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch, kicking his legs up on Zack. "Do you have any other favorite things to tell me about or are you weird like this with everything?"

Zack chuckled, resting his arms over Jess's shins. "I have favorite things, but I also like to appreciate everything."

"Of course you do." Jess said it while displaying a small smile. What would normally be meant as an insult was said more in an endearing way. "Favorite season?"

"Spring, I like the sun, when it's not burning me alive. You?" His answer was fast, he didn't even have to think about it.

"Fall."

Isaac chuckled very lightly under his breath. "That's very on-brand of you."

Jess chuckled. That nap must be still affecting his brain with its sleepy affects because he seemed like he was in too good of a mood to actually be fully awake. "Shut up."

"What's your favorite color? Black?" Isaac was only half joking. He really did want to know.

"Ha, jokes on you it's gray."

"That's almost as bad!" Zack started laughing again and Jess smiled. It was his big smile and it caused Zack to slowly stop laughing and he just watched Jess.

"Okay, okay, it is on brand but it's slightly better. It's light gray."

"Okay that is better." Isaac chuckled.

"Mhm." Jess hummed. "What's yours? Yellow because you're a ray of sunshine all the time?"

"It's actually orange. So close, I guess."

"Close." Jess parroted quieter before asking another question. "If you like to appreciate everything do you have, like.. uh- oh! a favorite number?"

"Yeah, fifteen. Twenty five is a close second."

"You have a runner up too?" Jess chuckled.

"You don't?" Zack was joking, of course he didn't. Nobody was as weird as he was when it came to favorite numbers.

"No." Jess giggled.

He giggled. Not a laugh or a chuckle it was an actual giggle. It was fucking adorable. Isaac grinned wide at the sound.

"I do have a least favorite though." Jess said, not seeming to notice the inner turmoil Isaac was experiencing because of him. Zack snapped himself out of it to answer.

"Sounds about right. What is it?"

"Three." Zack chuckled at that. "I have a reason though. It was my T-ball number. First game we ever had where I got to wear the uniform and some kid threw a ball at me. Had a black eye for a week."

Zack laughed loudly. "You played T-ball?"

"Not after that." Jess laughed with him. "You got a least favorite number? Er wait no, I bet you love them all."

"Eh, I don't know. I might have some beef with three now." Jess laughed lightly again. Not as good as the giggle but still good. Zack hummed while thinking of another question to ask. "What's your favorite type of weather?"

"What kind of question is that?" He held a bright smile as he criticized but answered anyway. "I like when it's raining. Not like storming but when it's just lightly raining, it's nice. I know, I know, very on brand. It's not my fault my personality is cheesey."

Zack chuckled. "Nah, I'll let you get away with that one. I like the sound of rain."

"Bright summer days your favorite?" Jess teased but there was an underlying curiosity there.

"I like when it's cloudy. Like when it could be a warm day but it's cloudy and a little windy so it's cooler."

Jess hummed. "One of these answers is not like the others." Zack just laughed in return. "What's your favorite animal?"

"Oh, I don't know about that one." Zack started to think about it when Jess rolled his eyes.

"They're all too amazing to have a favorite." Jess mocked in a voice way deeper than his. Zack just laughed, his voice wasn't anything like that.

"Well, I don't like bees so that's not accurate."

"You don't like bees?" Jess perked a brow. "What did bees do to you?"

"I stepped on one when I was nine. It stung me."

Jess started laughing. "No shit, you stepped on it!"

"Shut up, I was nine and the hatred just hasn't left!"

"Wait until I tell everyone. I can see it now, Isaac Johnson scared of little ol' honey bees."

"Don't you dare. The boys'll never let me live that down." He could already picture the stuff Jace and Ki would have to say. Andrew would probably just giggle in a corner about it.

"Oh? So I'm the only one that knows?" Jess grinned. "I have blackmail on you now."

"Yeah, yeah." Zack rolled his eyes.

It faded into quiet, Jess smiling contently and Zack smiling at him. He looked so relaxed, leaning into a pillow with his legs up on Zack's lap all stretched out.

"What's a secret you've never told anyone?" Zack asked suddenly. He kept his voice soft and if he had been a little quieter the noise probably would've been drowned out by the TV.

Jess was silent for a long moment. Zack was starting to think he wouldn't answer. He decided to just let it go, it was a long shot anyway. He had been curious and wanted to know more about Jess.

Then he answered, "My dad overdosed and died."

Zack froze.

"It's not like, a big thing. He was a deadbeat and a drug addict, I never knew him. He ditched Ma and never met me. She still bawled her eyes out when she heard about it though." Jess mumbled. "I know it sounds sad, but I'm really not beat up about it. It's just something I've never told anybody."

"Oh." Zack didn't know how to take that. "How'd you find out? I mean, if he ditched you guys and everything how'd your mom hear in order to cry about it?"

"His sister called her. She knew they had a fling but didn't know the extent of it so she thought they might've been friends or something. Didn't even know he had a son." Jess talked so normal but his eyes were suddenly hooded. "He was an asshole and she still cried like a baby."

Isaac nodded slowly. "That must've sucked."

"A little bit. But all my life my family has been crazy."

Isaac just nodded. He didn't want to apologize because hearing I'm sorry constantly over something like that got tiring.

"You wanna hear another secret? I watch My Little Pony with my little sister and don't hate it."

That cut the tension off and they both started laughing. Admist the laughing haze, Zack spoke up. "Now I have blackmail over you too."

"Meh. Not as many people care about me so I've got more leverage with mine."

Zack just hummed. He moved his hand down to Jess's knee out of sudden impulse. The tan stuck out harshly against white. "Damn. You're like a vampire. Look at that, my hand's way darker than you and I never leave my bedroom."

Jess chuckled and kicked his legs to shoo away Zack's hand. "Fuck off." It drew Isaac's attention away but his hand stayed, his palm resting on Jess's knee. Oddly enough, neither of them wanted it to move. "You play football, that's why you're tan."

"If you say so. I think you're just trying to cover your own ass."

"Maybe a little bit." They both just smiled at each other for a moment before Jess carried on the conversation. "Do you ever miss your mom?"

Zack's smiled ever so slightly. "All the time."

Jess seemed to realize what he said and his eyes widened. "Shit that was extremely personal. I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't be." Zack smiled at him, his thumb starting to rub back and forth on Jess's thigh just above his knee. "I got you to open up about something personal, it's only fair."

When Zack looked back Jess looked like he was thinking. His eyes were focused in on Zack's hand on his knee and suddenly Isaac stopped his thumb, he contemplated retracting his hand away as well. He didn't have to though because Jess pulled his legs away and sat up.

"You alright?"

It was quiet and Jess looked up at Zack. "I'm gay, by the way."

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•

A chapter with over 3400 words with no time skips? Amazing.

Anyways hope you enjoyed.

Love you ♡

- Z