Ten

Elayne

(N.)

A ray of sunlight.

Jess hadn't been thinking. No, actually, he had been thinking, a lot. That was the problem.

Isaac was getting closer, Jess was starting to feel okay with that. He needed to keep him at a distance. He couldn't get hurt. He wouldn't get hurt. What if Isaac was like them? He had to keep him at arm's length.

But he couldn't. It's like those eyes were the key to every wall he put up. Every time Isaac looked at him in that way his protection crumbled. He couldn't let him in though. He had to protect himself.

But then his hand was warm on his knee. Then he started rubbing on the skin soothingly and he was looking at Jess like that while they were talking. Then Jess realized he was feeling things and he hated that. He couldn't get hurt, he had to stop this.

He hadn't thought about the consequences. He hasn't considered that this was dumb. What if he was like them? Then what? Jess was in his house alone with him, he could do whatever to him. He hadn't thought about this at all. This could potentially be dangerous.

It didn't stop him at the time though. He just needed to know. He had to see if this would change anything, if it would have an effect on the way Zack acted. He had to know so he said it. He was regretting it now though.

But, Zack hadn't said anything. He was just sitting and looked a little confused. Finally though the confusion washed away and he realized Jess was serious and he was seriously panicking at the moment.

"Okay." A little smile followed afterwards. "That's cool. I guess?"

Cool? That's cool?

Isaac seemed to realize that Jess's panic just got worse. He looked a little more serious. "Hey, it's okay. I don't care."

He didn't care.

Isaac Johnson, the boy he's been protective of himself from this whole time, didn't care that he was gay. He didn't care. He wasn't homophobic. He wasn't like him.

The sudden thought twisted Jess's stomach. He really compared the two? Zack had held his hand when he was a wreck in the car and he had compared him to that guy? What is wrong with me?

Jess knew he could overthink a good amount. He knew he had some underlying trauma from shit and that had shadows on his life. He however just realized how bad it was.

Damn. I have problems.

"I'm sorry." Jess mumbled. "I ruined it."

"No, you didn't." Zack shook his head. "It's okay."

Jess looked up at the boy and he was looking back, concerned. "Still sorry. That came out of nowhere."

"Nah it's cool. I get it, probably wanna make sure I know so it doesn't like freak me out. I don't care about that. You like guys, so what?"

Jess suddenly felt a lot more calm. He was okay. He leaned back on the couch, his legs still hanging over the edge. Isaac looked at them and Jess noticed the way he bit his lip to prevent himself from saying anything.

With little courage he didn't know he even had, Jess pulled his legs up on the couch and carefully draped them over Isaac's lap again. The boy's eyes didn't leave the TV but his smile gave him away. His hand slowly went back to its perch on Jess's knee and the darker haired boy smiled a little at the warmth returning there.

When his thumb start rubbing rhythmic circles Jess closed his eyes with a smile. If they'd stayed open maybe he would've seen Zack watching him with a smile of his own.

After some quiet, Jess got curious at how long he's been here. "Hey, what time is it?"

Isaac leaned forward and clicked on his phone "6:15."

"Oh shit." His eyes widened a little before he chuckled. "Time went by fast."

"Yeah." Isaac chuckled. "Do you have to be home any certain time?"

The question reminded him of earlier. When he got home his mother was having sex on the couch. The dude ran off after he had interrupted their... session and he couldn't help but looking at his mom in disbelief.

'Seriously, Ma?'

'Don't give me that Jess. You don't understand what it's like to go through these things.'

Then there was an argument and during the argument he raised his voice. Once he started speaking louder his mother burst out crying. She also screamed back and it was a whole thing. He was very close to having a complete mental breakdown in front of her when he spotted the car parked at the curb through the living room window.

He regretted yelling at her and felt bad that he'd made her cry but he wasn't sorry. She called him ungrateful during that argument and wasn't acknowledging any of the shit he did for her. Jess is the one person who has actually been there for her through it all and actually cares for her, yet she doesn't appreciate it at all.

Seeing the grim look take over Zack cleared his throat. "I mean, if you were planning on going home..? You could stay if you wanted."

Jess looked up. Did he want to stay? Well, he certainly didn't want to go home. Plus, he liked it here. It was peaceful.

"Um, if it's okay. I know it's a school night and everything so..." He trailed off. Isaac waved off his concerns.

"I don't mind and I know my dad won't care."

"Okay, then. Sure." Jess nodded, slowly feeling comfortable again. Luckily, he had changed into shorts after school so he was already in comfortable clothes.

"Cool." Isaac smiled slowly and Jess smiled when he did. Jess turned to start watching the show again, having no idea what has happened since he started talking about doughnuts all that time ago.

He wanted to go back to the lighthearted conversations. So, he spoke. "You're really scared of bees?"

Isaac chuckled. "I wouldn't say I'm scared, I just don't like them. It's stupid, I know."

Suddenly Jess wanted to reassure him. Nothing about him was stupid. He was real, the realest person Jess knew, so far at least. "Nah, it not. It's just surprising."

Zack chuckled. "What about you? Any silly fears?"

"Of animals? No."

"Okay. Anything you don't like that might not seem normal?" Zack asked again and Jess smiled as he realized they were falling back down the path they had before.

He really thought about it. "I don't know. I don't like most things."

Isaac laughed. "You can't dislike most things."

"Oh but I can. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, people, school, crowds, green ink pens, loud noises, social media sometimes, my lack of patience, lettuce, and the list goes on."

Isaac shook his head with a little chuckle. "You're very negative."

"I know." Jess grinned back. He realized he's been smiling a lot while he's been here.

'You could be. If you smiled more...'

Jess tried not to think about that. It didn't work but he pretended it did. He didn't want to blush in front of Isaac while they were in the middle of a conversation about his hatred for the world.

"Okay, you have an unrivaled hate towards lots of things so then what are things you like? And you can't say popularly liked things, pizza or cake or some shit like that doesn't count."

Jess just rolled his eyes but actually thought it over. "I love walking when I'm bored. And watching the stars. I like keeping my room at really cold temperatures so I can bundle up under blankets without overheating." He looked in thought. "I like seeing my siblings since I don't get to too often, and watching childish TV shows. I like knowing things, like random facts, or big words other people wouldn't know."

"Big words?"

"Or, not necessarily big. Some are short, but I mean like, words you don't hear everyday."

"Like what?"

"Like ineffable, which means so amazing it can't be described in words. Or dolent, which means full of sorrow." He thought a little bit more. "My favorite is probably ectopic."

Isaac smiled at the randomness he was learning today. He loved it. "What's that mean?"

"'Occuring in an abnormal place' like me." Jess followed his sentence with a cheeky grin and Isaac chuckled lightly. "I like having words to describe people in a way they won't understand."

"Like what?"

"Like, no offense, but your friend group would be described as morosis. The stupidest of stupid." Zack couldn't help but chuckle.

"What about me, then? Am I roped in with them?"

"Nah. I'd say you're like..." He hummed for a moment. "Elayne."

"That sounds like a name."

"Yeah, I know. It's spelled E-L-A-Y-N-E."

"What's it mean?"

Jess smiled, deciding to torture him a little bit. "You'll just have to Google it."

"That's no fair." Isaac chuckled as he said it. Jess didn't budge on telling him and he didn't ask any more.

"I didn't get to hear your likes." Jess said, turning the focus back on Isaac for a change. He wanted to get to know him better.

"I like a lot of things." That caused a scoff and an eye roll.

"Obviously. You're made to love everything." He was just teasing though. He loved that little detail about Isaac.

Isaac laughed. "Yeah, okay, I'm very in-character, I know. But it's true."

"Well c'mon, let's hear about things you love that other people take for granted and why you love them so much." Jess was again just teasing. He did really wanna hear though. So far Isaac's reasoning behind things had been cute.

"I love sunsets. It was my mom's thing so now I feel closer to her by watching them." Jess remembered the first time they hung out. It seemed like ages ago but it really wasn't. It was last week. "I like driving. It clears my mind. I like fresh air, and football." Another eye roll from Jess. "I like spending time around people because I hate being alone. I like it when my dad's home."

Jess noticed the gloomy look starting to form. He didn't know much about Isaac's life but from what he saw, his dad was gone a lot. His dad was gone mostly and his mom was dead. Jess assumed that with that situation things could get lonely. He briefly wondered if Isaac was a lonely kid.

"I like movie nights, playing in flashlight beams, parks, playgrounds. All the fun stuff, but all the boring stuff too."

Jess smiled, he wanted to make fun of Isaac again but he just couldn't bring himself to. The boy was pouring his heart and soul into telling him about his interests and Jess was listening intently. He didn't want Isaac to think that he only listened partially and was teasing to cover that up so he just smiled instead.

This time when quiet spread through the two it was different. Their eyes met and they were smiling. Both had on tiny, content smiles as they stared at the other's eyes. Time felt frozen for a moment and right after his eyes traveled down to look at Jess's lips, Isaac tore his head away and focused on the TV again.

This time they both laid in the comfortable silence and just watched the show that was on. After that episode Jess grabbed the remote and changed it because he wanted to watch a movie. There was some light bickering before they picked something and faded into focusing on it.

The whole time Isaac's hand was on Jess's knee and his thumb was rubbing circles. After two hours Jess was very close to falling asleep and Isaac too looked a little tired. It was about that time the front door opened.

Isaac's head spun to look over his shoulder and a big smile lit up his face. "Dad! You're back early."

The man walked over and put a hand on Isaac's shoulder. At that time he looked down and saw Jess on the couch too, Jess suddenly felt awkward just laying there but Isaac's hand was still on his knee so he also didn't feel like he had to move. Isaac's dad raised his eyebrows at their position but didn't say anything, instead he just smiled at Jess.

"I don't think I've met this one before." He stuck out his arm, angling it downward so he wouldn't have to stand, to shake Jess's hand. Jess awkwardly shook it back. "I'm Dave."

"Uh, Jess."

Dave then moved his attention to his son again. They didn't look much alike to Jess. They had the same jawline but Dave had sandy blondish brown hair and his face was scruffy. He also had bright blue eyes which didn't match Isaac's pretty hazel ones at all.

"It's getting kinda late to have friends over." Jess suddenly went a little stiff at the thought of having to go home. He wasn't sure how Isaac had sensed it but somehow he did and his thumb went back to rubbing circles on his knees.

"He's staying." And something in Isaac's voice was different. The way he had said it sounded different. Then the two just looked at each other like they were communicating with their eyes.

Finally, Dave nodded. He smiled again. "Alright. Have you guys ate dinner yet?" They both shook their heads. "Okay then, I'll go get started on it."

As Dave left Jess looked at Isaac. He smiled back at him. "I told you it'd be okay."

And even though he had no idea what was happening and Jess was not used to this type of thing at all, he started laughing. Isaac watched him with a little smile as Jess laughed. He didn't know why he was finding this situation so funny but he was.

Isaac watched him the whole time with a little smile on his face. Jess ignored the butterfly feeling that gave him in his stomach.

"Dinner's ready you two." Dave's voice broke into the living room about ten minutes later.

Isaac's hand left Jess's knee and he waited for the other boy to move his legs before getting up. Jess followed Isaac into the kitchen where Dave was dipping out pasta into a bowl.

When they entered the older man smiled and handed him a bowl. He took it, looking down at what he was holding. It looked like the Tomato pasta Lillian's father used to make.

"You like pasta don't you? I can probably whip something else up if it isn't your thing." Dave's voice brought his head back up to the two pair of eyes watching him.

"Oh, no, it's okay. I like pasta."

Dave smiled kindly and Jess saw the similarity between him and his son. Isaac motioned for Jess to follow him and he brought them over to the table where they sat down. Dave wasn't far behind them and they started eating.

"How's work?" Isaac looked at his dad.

"Well it looks like things are about to start heading uphill. They got a couple new workers and profits are coming in nicely. I might start to come home earlier once in a while."

Isaac smiled at that. "That's cool. Maybe you'll finally get some good sleep."

"Maybe both of us will start to get some good sleep. You're too young to be waiting up for me every night." The man said with his bright smile but worry was clear in his tone.

"I'm fine." Isaac shook his head. His father rolled his eyes but the two seemed to move on from the topic.

Suddenly blue eyes were on Jess and the boy felt awkward again. "Do you play sports? You seem a little bit on the smaller side to be a football player."

"Oh uh, no. No, I'm not an athlete." The boy chuckled nervously. "I'm not quite made for sports."

"Well, there we go. Finally some variety in the people you're hanging out with." The man looked at Isaac who smiled.

They finished up the pasta and when Isaac noticed he was done he talked quietly, just for Jess to hear. "You want seconds?"

Jess appreciated how he was talking quietly, taking into consideration that Jess might be too shy to ask. However, he had lunch today so he struggled just to finish the last few bites of dinner. His body was used to just one meal a day, so he shook his head no to Isaac.

Isaac nodded and when the boy stood up a second later he grabbed Jess's bowl. He took them over to the sink and washed them out before setting them in the sink.

"Well, I'm probably gonna head to bed. I've gotta appreciate being able to go to sleep early while I can in case the opportunity doesn't arrive again." Dave chuckled as he stood up. Jess felt awkward being the only one seated now so he stood too. Dave clapped him on the shoulder affectionately as he passed. "It was good to meet you, Jess."

Jess nodded and managed a small smile. "You too, sir."

Dave chuckled. "None of that sir shit. Makes me feel old."

"You are old." Zack laughed.

"Old or not, I can still kick your ass boy." The boy laughed and the man hugged his son, patting Isaac's back, before leaving the kitchen.

"Alright." Isaac spoke in the silence that followed Dave's exit. "Do you want to head to my room now or back to the couch?"

Jess shrugged. "I'm happy with either."

Isaac checked the time. 8:54. It was still pretty early. "Well, c'mon, I'll show you my room."

Jess followed Isaac as the boy went down a hall and turned into the first door on the right. It was kind of a small room. The bed was pushed up against the far wall with a bed stand next to it. The closet had hangers and there was a dresser next to it on the side wall, closer to the door. There was also a desk, opposite to the closet, with a chair but that was the extent of the furniture. The desk was semi-cluttered with knickknacks and above it on the wall was a shelf that had a few little trophies on it and a handful of medals hanging off two hooks on the shelf.

"The bathroom is at the end of the hall, the door stays open when someone isn't using it so you should be able to find it just fine."

"Okay." Jess nodded.

"I have to go to the bathroom so I'm probably gonna go change while I'm in there." Isaac turned and opened one of his dresser drawers, pulling out a pair of shorts and then he grabbed a shirt out of his closet. "The two middle drawers have joggers and shorts, so if you want you can grab something out of there if you want to change, and you can grab whatever out of the closet."

Then, Isaac left. While he was gone Jess looked around the room some more and contemplated what to do. He didn't really need to change, maybe his shirt but his shorts were clean since he only put them on after school and they haven't gotten a chance to get dirty since then.

He finally walked over to Isaac's closet and reached up to look through the shirts. He picked up the first one he touched but looked through the rest anyway out of curiosity. It was mostly just graphic T-shirts.

He took the red shirt he had off the hanger and put the hanger back in the closet. He pulled off his shirt and looked around to see where to put it. He couldn't find anywhere so he just sat in on top of the dresser. At that moment Isaac walked back in.

Hazel eyes looked down, noticing that Jess was shirtless. Jess felt awkward again and pulled the red shirt over his head. He didn't see the way Isaac's eyes raked over his body a couple more times before forcing himself to look away.

Once the shirt was on they both just stood there quietly. The red shirt was too big on Jess so the neck line exposed a bit of his collarbone area. Isaac was trying to decipher why that made him feel the way it did.

Eventually, he decided to ignore it and cleared his throat. "Sorry, there's not much to do in here."

Jess shrugged. "It's okay. We can just talk or something."

Isaac walked over and sat down on his bed and watched as his company walked over towards his desk. Jess's hand went up to the medals and he held one, turning it around in his palm. It was a junior football league award. 'Best receiver' was scribbled on the back with his name above it.

"Are these all football things?" Jess couldn't help his curiosity as he flipped the medal back over and traced over the design of a football on the front.

"Mostly. Two from little league, one from a summer camp thing, and then the other two there aren't from football."

Jess looked through the rest. One was a medal that rewarded Isaac for participating in a mile run. Jess read the back aloud. "Mile sprint participation award."

"Oh, yeah. When I was ten they were doing this thing. It cost five dollars to sign up but it was like a fundraiser thing for a store. My dad signed up and when he asked if I wanted to join I agreed. I was like the ninth person in my age group to complete it. We all got the medals."

"That's cool." Jess grazed over the back of the bronze medal and then reached back for another one. "Basketball?"

"Little league. We won a tourney and our coach handed them out."

"You played basketball?" Jess looked at him and raised a brow.

"For a year when I was little. Decided it wasn't for me." Jess smiled at the random details about Isaac that he had learned today.

Jess eventually walked over to the bed and sat down. "What's your least favorite school subject?"

"History." Isaac answered. "I like the concept of learning but it's always straight out of a text book and I feel like falling asleep every damn day in there. If it weren't for the teacher I probably would've failed ages ago."

"Huh." Jess hummed. "I like history and it's straight out of a textbook thing. Like, it gets boring but it means I can read ahead and all the work is pretty easy."

Isaac just chuckled lightly. "You're crazy. What's your least favorite?"

"Algebra. Not even because of the work itself, I feel like I wouldn't mind so much then but my class sucks."

"Why?" Isaac sounded curious and Jess was tempted to give an honest answer. Your BFF is a dick.

But he didn't really want to hurt Isaac's feelings. "The people in there are all loud, they get distracting and give me headaches."

"Oh. So then what's your favorite? Don't say history." Jess laughed quietly. He debated saying history just as a joke.

"English. I like writing and the teacher is nice. Plus I'm in a quieter class so that really helps. What about you?"

"I don't think I have a favorite. I don't really like one more than the other, they're all just something I have to do and get through."

Jess hummed and when he spoke his voice sounded more sleepy than he felt. "I bet athletics is your favorite."

"Yeah, honestly."

"Why do you like football so much?"

Isaac looked like he was thinking, then like he didn't know how to describe it. "It's like- I'm good at it. I know when playing that I'm helping my team in some way, I feel useful. Then there's this feeling when you get on the grass, when I'm running, it's like a focus. A complete focus on what's happening and nothing else really matters. Everything makes sense because it's always the same but it also mixes things up. There's different plays but the goal remains and my job is the same."

Jess wasn't sure when he closed his eyes or when he fell asleep but he dozed off the Isaac's voice.

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These chapters just keep getting longer and I'm living for it lol. This one's a little over 4,000 words.

Hope you enjoyed.

Love you ♡

- Z